Then, in the school playground for physical education class, Wu Yang, Ah Cheng, Lei Teng and I had some boys with unclear faces. The physical education teacher was replaced by my homeroom teacher F in my first year of high school. He let us move around freely, and then he was with one of his colleagues (honestly, I didn't know him. I've just heard of it, I've seen it) slapstick. I was twisted around my neck and screamed uncomfortably.

People who have gone through the college entrance examination probably regard it as the most important time in their lives, and it is an important moment to change their fate. No matter how much sadness and pain there has been, you can still be happy when you remember it.

Memories of loving beautiful things often leave dark wounds. My college entrance examination time is a sad history of inner growth. It stems from my teenage mania. This reminds me of Xin Qiji's "Ugly Slave", the young man doesn't know the taste of sorrow, falls in love with the floor, falls in love with the floor, and is worried about the new words. Now I know the taste of sorrow, I want to say that I will rest, I want to say that I will rest, but I will say that the weather is cool and autumn.

Physical education class is like a teenager's dream, in love with a lover who has been in love for more than ten years, and no matter how much tenderness others have, she can't replace a shallow smile. I remember this sentence as a quote I saw when I was reading "Meiwen" in junior high school.

Wu Yang is my best friend, we have been to kindergarten together, four years of primary school, two years of junior high school, and three years of high school. She is lively and cheerful, enthusiastic and sociable, intelligent and diligent in her studies.

The classmates in the third year of high school, Ah Cheng and Lei Teng are all top-notch male classmates, and there are others who can't see their faces clearly. In my dreams, I could probably tell who they were, but in fact I didn't know them very well and never communicated privately with them, why they also appeared in my dreams. I think it's probably because they have a good relationship with Wu Yang. And I have always envied Wu Yang, and I don't hesitate to say that I am jealous, and I also hope to become friends with these classmates.

The head teacher F is a cousin of mine, and for this brother, my childhood memories are very lacking, and they are only a few faces.

The first time I saw him was when he was about eight years old for the New Year, visiting relatives. The second aunt's family is relatively wealthy and can open a commissary. That's why we often give our little ones some gadgets and snacks. For the sake of gadgets and snacks, I'm still looking forward to going to her house.

My eldest sister gave me and my second sister a task when she was leaving, and she asked me to ask my aunt for a pen if she saw her son, and I gladly accepted it for her sake of giving me the opportunity to eat delicious food. In fact, before I could speak, my second sister asked him for it, and he gave him a draft pen with a plastic tube less than ten centimeters long and said, "Your aunt is not a good fountain pen, so I'll give your sister a good one another day." ”

In my childhood memories, he was a very righteous and kind big boy, like a warm ray of sunshine shining on a good life.

What is the so-called growing up, and what is sensible? Biological adults, and psychological adults. Or it is said that he understands poverty and wealth, knows good and evil, knows honesty, can distinguish between relatives, and understands a little about human feelings. At first, I will no longer be moved by small favors, but there will be a feeling of shame and humiliation, and I will no longer have that long-awaited feeling during the New Year's holidays.

The second time I saw him, it was when he graduated from college, he came to my house for dinner on the July Festival, and my second aunt yelled that he didn't like to eat noodles, and my mother started another stove to heat steamed buns, and asked me to serve them to him while complaining.

He is seven or eight meters tall, slightly fat, wears a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, a white shirt, and black trousers, which is very special. The most impressive thing was that he wore a ring on his left thumb, and I mocked him for a long time.

Later, when I learned about him, I heard that he was the head teacher of the high school where I studied, and he was a very powerful person. That year, when I was in my second year of junior high school, one day I walked with Wu Yang on campus, Wu Yang pointed to his silhouette and said that he was a very handsome and talented male teacher in high school.

I remember I just laughed and didn't say anything. But I secretly thought again, if it didn't have much to do with me, I wouldn't go to high school.

Throughout my junior year of junior high school, I was thinking about graduation and stopped going to school. What should I tell my dad? After the summer vacation, the insomnia became more and more serious, so I got up early every day to run in order to relieve the symptoms. However, all of this has turned into the language of others praising me, but who really knows the pain in my heart?

During the summer of that year, I had the pleasure of reading a book called "The Parchment" and learned that there is a way to create miracles, called the power of choice.

Then I told myself that I could choose my life and that I would never regret my choice.

My father was working in Xi'an at the time, and I was waiting for my father to come home at home, thinking all day about how to talk to my father and not go to school.

Since my younger brother went to junior high school, the family's expenses have become more and more expensive. The income from his tofu business was meager, so his father began to go out to do odd jobs, returning once a month or not for more than half a year. I wanted to talk to my father about what I could do after I graduated from junior high school.

After graduating from junior high school, my second sister wanted to go to secondary school, and it was a family meeting, and my parents respected her choice. She also showed me the book "Parchment".

At one point, I asked my sister, "Why don't you go to high school?"

The second sister was irritated by me, "What do you know, I talk to my parents, you little kid is not allowed to interject." ”

I was in my first year of junior high school that year, and later I realized that my second sister didn't want to go to high school because of our family's financial situation. And I didn't want to go to school after graduating from junior high school, but I really had the heart to die because I continued to study.

I was buried by a sense of uselessness, and I blamed myself for running away from the guilt and wanting to die, contrary to my original expectations for a better life in the future. Flee home and school, or you'll be left with a shell.

With my own little abacus, I can also contribute to the family by finding a canteen to serve dishes and wash dishes.

However, I never expected that my father, who was waiting to come back, would tell me a so-called good news with great anticipation. Brother F was going to be the homeroom teacher of the key class of the first year of high school that semester, and I happened to be in his class. In my father's cloudy lens, who suffered from glaucoma, the glow of the divine light evoked my hope of starting over.

Many times people don't live for themselves, and they don't have the courage to live for themselves. Then I heard a voice speak again.

For my father's sake, I want to start over. But the choice I made made made me experience heart-wrenching despair again. However, this is my choice, and I will bear the suffering of this choice, and I will never regret it, even if I die.

In fact, I am also afraid of death, if I am not afraid of death, why can't I be ruthless and restrain myself from making noise and spending three years quietly.

I didn't want to go to school anymore, but I embarked on this path again, and this compromise was made because I was moved.

For a moment, I felt that I would be suffocated to death if I didn't say anything, and I had to make up classes after the first semester of high school, so I told Brother F this true idea, "I didn't want to go to school a long time ago." ”

"So what do you want to do? Part-time job? Working part-time is much harder than going to school, and many part-time workers leave school and later want to go back to school. Does your dad know what you're thinking? If you really don't want to study, then take a leave of absence. I'll keep the file for you, when do you want to go back to school. You go back and think again. Brother F said.

The next day, I didn't go to school, and my father happened to be at home, so I decided to talk to him about it. My father didn't get up in the morning, so I was immersed in my own world in another room, trying to figure out how to speak.

At some point, my father got out of bed, and he walked to the door of the house and scolded fiercely, "Call you, pus." I died of illness, and you white-eyed wolf don't know it. "I was stupefied.

For a while, I was in a hurry, and asked my father to go to the clinic to see, but my father couldn't go to the clinic, and he went to the clinic to pay for all kinds of expenses such as hanging bottles and prescribing medicines, and my father must have been unwilling to spend money and felt that it was too expensive to go to the clinic, and he felt that the resistance was over.

I went to the village clinic to ask for a doctor, and the doctor suggested hanging the bottle and let my father go to the clinic. I cried and said, "He said it was very uncomfortable, he couldn't stop vomiting and couldn't move. You might as well come to my house and have a look. ”

On that day, I experienced a sense of fear that I had never felt before, what would happen if my father died. It must be me, a bad girl, whose bad thoughts were known to the gods, and she gave my father such a sin in order to keep me from speaking. Seeing my father's uncomfortable appearance, I prayed to God to bless my father, I was willing to give him all my life, and he must get better.

Slowly, my father recovered, and I never mentioned that I didn't want to go to school.