"We were like a natural enemy, she always took the initiative to attack, and I had to resist passively. Until one day, I suddenly noticed that she didn't seem to provoke me for a long time, and I actually ...... I feel a little unaccustomed. I had dreamed that she would stay away from me, but when I suddenly remembered that she hadn't appeared in front of me for a month, I was inexplicably looking forward to the next time she appeared to bring me something new.

"Oh, this is probably what people often call 'cheapness', I despised myself so much at the time. Later, I learned that she was looking for a poison needed to practice dreams, and she kept watch for days and nights where the poison might appear, but she didn't get anything, but because her body was too tired, she was accidentally injured by the poison.

It is said that she was rescued by Yu Chonghua, and when she was rescued, she was dying and almost died. Then I lay in bed for more than a month before I gradually recovered. Her accident happened when I was a month away from my nineteenth birthday. I think of her because every year since I was seven years old, she has come up with something really ridiculous to torment me. And on her birthday at the age of nineteen, she was absent.

"Actually, at that time, I could probably find out what was going on with her, but I pretended to be very calm, and as I had always done in the past, I didn't deal much with people, and I didn't pay attention to many things. But no one knows, in fact, my heart was always restless during those days, and even the most ordinary witch Gu refining was not easy.

"It's really unbelievable that my mind that had been wandering for more than a month suddenly settled down the moment she appeared in front of me again. Although she still came to trouble me as she had done for more than ten years, on that day, my attention was only focused on her face, and I found ...... She lost weight. ”

Speaking of this, Ji Zi'an suddenly paused for some reason, although his face was still calm and expressionless, but his eyes that had been out of focus for a long time miraculously showed a trace of tenderness.

Cang Wunian may not have too much emotion at this moment, but Hua Chengcheng's eyes are already slightly red when he hears this.

This is not the first time she has heard Ji Zi'an say so many things in one breath, at least so far, he has not said as much as he said in the first in-depth exchange between the two.

But this is the most emotional thing he has ever heard since he met him. Those small things that may seem boring to outsiders, he probably remembers every detail clearly.

Even the tenderness unconsciously revealed in his eyes can completely melt a woman's heart, and no one will doubt that he is truly and wholeheartedly in love with the girl named Li Ji.

Neither of them made a sound to disturb Ji Zi'an, and they knew with their hair that this man probably hadn't savored his pure and clean heart for many, many years.

After being quiet for a long time, Ji Zi'an opened his mouth again: "Although I don't want to admit it, even after so many years, because of the Gu poison and seals in my body, I have almost forgotten, I really forgot, I forgot that it was in that year that I fell in love with Li Ji." Incorrigible, stupid, wishful thinking...... Fell in love with her. ”

"Ji Gongzi ......" painting Allure felt sour, and couldn't help but call.

"Huh?" Ji Zi'an replied softly.

"Nothing, you...... Let's move on. Hua Chengcheng bit his lip, and after thinking about it, he still felt that he had no position to say anything.

Because she thought of what happened later, it was not a lie in Ji Zi'an's self-deception - that is, if she put the matter of Ji Ziran in Ji Zi'an's mouth on himself, she could clearly know that it was Li Ji who betrayed him, or rather, it was Li Ji who deceived him and played with his feelings.

Sure enough, the tenderness in Ji Zi'an's eyes gradually converged, and the corners of his mouth raised a touch of mockery, "You probably know what happened later." I fought hard to change the rules of the clan, and I participated in the clan competition and entered the forbidden land. In the forbidden land, I cracked the eighty-one Gu given to me by Li Ji and obtained the qualification to practice secret arts.

"Until now, I have not been able to determine whether the best time of my life with her during the six months I spent in the forbidden land was a real thing, or if, as she claimed, it was just a deception she had set up on me using her dreams. In short, in the years that followed, I loved her as my wife.

"Probably because I never knew I would be so attracted to a woman, so when I learned that she had cheated on me, and that she had been plotting against me from the beginning, I felt like my sky had fallen. After the emotions of anger, shame, and hatred swept through my entire heart, all I was left was bloody pain.

"I don't understand why I don't like her...... No, I should say how can I be so conceited and proud, let a woman who is so conceited and proud have been with me for so many years. It was too easy for her to want my life, but she was ...... Took away my feelings and ...... Like a piece of mud, stomp it under your feet and crush it into dust.

"Not only that, but because of my ignorance, being taken advantage of by her, my father and my cousin paid for my stupidity and were persecuted. And I'm ...... At that time, I couldn't do anything, I could only pain and hate......"

The voice paused again, Ji Zi'an's mood fluctuated significantly, his eyes were already red, and his hands were unconsciously clenched into fists.

Both Hua Chengcheng and Cang Wunian understood that it was the darkest period of his life for more than a thousand years, even if he hadn't experienced it personally, just listening to it made him feel distressed.

"Brother Ji, it's all over. "Because I can't empathize with Cang Wunian, I often don't know how to comfort people, and at this moment I really feel that I should say something.

Ji Zi'an took a deep breath and slowly released his clenched fist, "It's over...... I always thought that these things would pass. But...... Even if some memories are no longer clear, that deep feeling has long been engraved in the bone marrow, and it can't be dug out.

"Perhaps the biggest mistake I did back then was not that I fell in love with Li Ji, but that ...... I shouldn't have killed her, or rather, I should have killed her completely. ”

At this point, a trace of hideousness appeared on Ji Zi'an's face, which had been expressionless.

Painting Allure's heart jumped, and he hurriedly asked cautiously: "Ji Gongzi...... What do you mean by that?"

Ji Zi'an narrowed his eyes slightly and asked, "What was the last picture you saw in my Nightmare Realm?"

"I saw you and Li Ji walking on a deserted path, and it seems that they are still arguing about something along the way...... Later, I saw you put your arms around her, and conjured up a black wooden dagger in your hand, from ...... The back stabbed into her heart. ”

"Huh. Ji Zi'an chuckled, "The girl in Allure is really observant. Indeed, I plunged the dagger into her heart. I thought...... As long as I do this, I will be able to wash away this shame completely, and her death will give me the pleasure of revenge. But I was wrong, and when I felt the dagger plunge into her body, I felt a pain that I had never felt before.

"The dagger was clearly pierced into her heart, but it seemed to pierce my heart as well. That feeling of being inch-deep, that dull, flesh-penetrating sound, has been my nightmare for so many years, incomparably clear, echoing in my ears all the time......

"But it's ...... The woman in her arms gritted her teeth and let out only an extremely subtle and painful moan

Recite. I don't know what she thought at the time, maybe she would have guessed I'd do it. But it was obvious that she was sorry for me, but her lack of resistance, resentment, and scolding made me feel as if I was sorry for her.

"But in any case, she is also my first and only woman who has touched her heart. When I felt her life pass by in my hands, I actually ...... Regretted it. I don't know why, why would I regret killing such a woman who has been deceiving me from beginning to end, calculating and playing with me?"

Looking at Ji Zi'an's ruthless and dazed eyes, Cang Wunian somehow felt that the ice lake in his heart was cracking again.

Ever since he had lost his soul, he felt as if his heart had been frozen in ice, and until now, there were not many things that could move him, and even fewer things that could touch that frozen lake. It only appears a few times, and most of them are related to painting Allure.

But today, listening to a man tell about the painful past from which he couldn't extricate himself, Cang Wunian was surprised to find that his frozen heart lake could also give some subtle reactions.

He guessed that the reason for this was probably because the man's complex inner feelings at this time resonated with him, those related to his past life.

So, before Cang Wunian could think clearly and couldn't understand what those complicated feelings were like, he heard himself whisper: "Your regret has nothing to do with how she treated you." You simply regret killing her, killing the woman you loved and still love. ”

Ji Zi'an looked at Cang Wunian with some surprise when he heard this, and muttered for a long time: "Yes, Brother Wunian, what you said is right." Because I love her, I can't see her die. Actually, the damn one might be me, because whether she lives or dies, it's a torture for me, and it's torture that makes me worse than dead.

"She is alive, I love her, but I hate her, I can't see her alive well. She died, and I regretted and hesitated, because I would never see her again. So...... At the moment when her life was about to die, I ......"