In the past month, Wang En called her wife Shen Bing once and sent a message, talking about divorce, hearing Wang En's categorical attitude, Shen Bing's response seemed strange calm and cold, she didn't care too much about this accustomed attitude, after countless quarrels, it was this common result, and in the end, none of them ended up repeating with a good scar and forgetting the pain. Her cold attitude shows her childish confidence in her marriage, she believes that noise is the only way to improve mutual understanding, in the process of marriage is just a song that has been sung yellow due to the deterioration of the tape recorder, although the yellowed song makes people uncomfortable to listen to for a while, but it can always awkwardly connect the whole song in the yellowing music. In the midst of countless noises, she can't remember who it was? The first time the word "divorce" was proposed, in the first few years, both parties upheld the respect and responsibility for the marriage, even if they were provoked to show bitterness and hatred, hatred to the bone, and they could endure the word "divorce" that was about to come out of their stomachs, as the quarrel became an indispensable part of life, the word "divorce" immediately became a sharp weapon used by both parties to kill each other, and over time this line of defense became an area that both sides trampled on at will. Filing for divorce at every turn has become a natural phenomenon and an irrelevant topic.

Shen Bing went home to pick up his clothes once in a month and slept at home all night. It was evening when Shen Bing came home that day, Wang En was already slightly drunk standing on the balcony, and after Shen Bing quarreled with him, he came home alone every day after work and drank to kill his sorrows. Wang En heard the sound of Shen Bing taking out the key outside the door to open the lock and enter the door to change shoes, his eyes stared out the window and gradually blurred the city with the early lights, and he deliberately signaled to Shen Bing with an unaware back that he had a cold attitude towards her. After Shen Bing turned on the light, the light instantly pierced his nerves, and a sense of disgust that had been disturbed and clean came back to his heart. After getting married, he became more and more disgusted with Shen Bing's rejection, and any of her expressions, voices, and gestures made him explode with an extremely strong sense of rejection.

Wang En met Shen Bing in an extremely unhealthy state of mind. Soon after he went to work, Wang En did something stupid. On that day, people from the Education Bureau called and said that tomorrow they would send people from all schools to participate in the tomb sweeping activities organized by the district, Wang En was on duty in the school office that day, and after answering the phone, he didn't know how to deal with this matter, so he asked Lao Gu, the director of the Academic Affairs Office who was with him, and Lao Gu intended to fiddle with the old qualifications in front of the new colleagues, so he held his hand and pinched his chin and said "You can participate in this activity." At ten o'clock the next day, Wang En came to the martyrs' cemetery at half past nine and saw the bustling people chatting in twos and twos on the square in front of the tall monument with their hands behind their backs or holding hands in suits and leather shoes. There was no one he knew in public, and he didn't know who he should go to report, so he was helpless and walked to the crowded area, looking back and forth at the crowd of laughing and whispering people in the square. Someone began to shout on the steps under the monument, "Please come here to sign in", Wang En slowly walked over with the crowd and began to crowd to sign at the sign-in table.

"Please find a place in the square and stand up immediately after signing in, and the leaders of the district party committee will arrive immediately", this sudden deafening loud sound frightened Wang En's heart, and he saw two huge black speakers standing on both sides of the tall and solemn monument in the direction of the sound. When he first arrived, his nervous eyes were frightened into the crowd and ignored the two loud speakers under the monument. The loud sound wave frightened the two rows of silver fir trees in the square and flapped their wings and flew diagonally into the sky.

Wang En picked up a place to stand behind the crowd that gradually saw the phalanx. Several people of different heights lined up in a line of arms, stretched out their hands diagonally, nodded upwards and bowed like a service person, and came from the right side of the crowd square, they walked to the front of the square and stood up, and the host began to hold a wireless microphone and began to host the event. "Dear Secretary Zhong, District Mayor Ma and leaders, today's tomb sweeping activity is about to begin, please stand quietly and solemnly. During the Qingming Festival, it rains a lot, and pedestrians on the road want to break their souls. In this festival of nostalgia for the deceased, let us remember with the heaviest feelings the revolutionary martyrs who sacrificed heroically for us to create a new China! Please observe a moment of silence for three minutes." Next, the leaders of the district party committee were invited to lay flower baskets for the revolutionary martyrs. The armed police soldiers carrying the flower baskets next to them walked up the steps one after another in an orderly manner and finished placing the flower baskets. The leaders of the district committees in the front row walked to the monument one by one and stopped to bow, and then returned to the position where they were standing. The host continued to say in a mellow and sad voice: "Next, we welcome the speech of Secretary Zhong Jishi of the District Party Committee with warm applause. "The applause rang out in the phalanx from weak to strong, and then from strong to weak." Comrades! Today, with an extremely heavy heart, we are here to remember the revolutionary martyrs who sacrificed their lives for the cause of socialism......"

After the leader finished speaking, all the personnel bowed around the monument in turn and offered flowers, and Wang En could only bow deeply in front of the monument without preparing anything. The event ended in a heavy atmosphere, Wang En returned to school and reported to Lao Gu on the scale and scene of the event, Lao Gu still held his hand and pinched his chin and said thoughtfully, "The pomp is not small." ”

In the afternoon, the bureau called and asked the principal of their school to do a written inspection to the bureau, and Xiao Gao, who answered the phone, asked the reason, and the people from the education bureau said that their school did not participate in the morning grave sweeping activity. Xiao Gao told the staff on the other end of the phone about Wang En's participation, and said that Director Wang didn't see their principal at the scene, so he got angry when he came back, saying, "I don't pay attention to such an important event, it's too unruly." The whole district is the busiest in their school, and he is busier than the senior district officials!? After Xiao Gao reported this to Lao Gu, Lao Gu was afraid of chasing the cause of the accident, so Xiao Gao directly reported to the principal. After Xiao Gao's report, the principal used all his strength to slap it on his desk on the spot, and the water in the glass teacup on the table was shaken so much that a column of water jumped on the table, and the principal's angry eyes shot a terrifying cold light, and he gritted his teeth and said to Xiao Gao, "You go and write the statement of the situation in the bureau, and I will call the director in person." Afterwards, the principal asked about Lao Gu, and Lao Gu put all the responsibility on Wang En. Wang En has been wearing small shoes by the principal since then, and during the probationary period, Wang En was always arranged to run errands at school, and his power of life and death was in the hands of the principal. Every time there is a meeting or a group activity in the school, the principal's eyes always cross over the obstacles from Wang En, every time in front of everyone Wang En as soon as he speaks, the principal will always pull the topic to make his words stop abruptly and feel embarrassed, being ignored by others can always ignite a nameless fire in his heart, like an angry fist hitting the soft quilt, which makes people feel unrelieved. Colleagues comprehended the principal's intentions and gradually kept an awkward distance from him. He couldn't find a sense of belonging in such a working environment, which made him feel extremely lonely in a foreign place.

It was in such a marginalized state that Wang En met Shen Bing with a strong desire to find a sense of belonging and identity. At that time, he didn't have time to think about what marriage meant to him, so he vaguely regarded Shen Bing's as a haven for his soul and a harbor for escaping reality in his imagination. Gradually, he developed a cowardly character of resignation, so he chose a self-deceptive way to repay himself. Choosing to fall in love is not to fall in love for the sake of falling in love, but to find spiritual comfort in order to prove that you are not rejected by others, which is a perverted causal relationship, another punishment that you do not want to be punished in a certain way.