Lead:

When looking for a partner, it is like walking into a wheat field, with ears of wheat beckoning to us along the way, and many people do not know which one to pick, so there will be hesitation and hesitation, regret and sadness. And no matter how much a normal person cares, he or she has to choose one to accompany him or her on his or her journey. Of course, it is not excluded that a very small number of people will change again and again in a short life. For a person, choosing the most suitable opposite sex among many suitors is a major event related to lifelong happiness. Therefore, choosing a date is crucial.

A person's life, from dating, falling in love, getting married to staying together for a lifetime, is full of games, learn to analyze the way of the game, maybe you can have a deeper understanding of your love, so let's start with dating.

Remember a plot from the movie "A Beautiful Mind":

One day, Nash and his classmates meet a blonde, and the classmates begin to discuss whether to chase or not. This question inspired Nash and led to the famous "blonde" question: there are more than two men in the bar, and there are multiple attractive ladies, but only one blonde; Men prefer blondes over other ladies, and it's better to have a female companion than no female companion. But if all the men go after the blonde, they will not only be rejected but will also annoy the other ladies, and as a result, all the men will not find a female partner, which is the worst outcome. Nash therefore suggests that all men should forget about blondes and pursue other ladies, so that men do not go home empty-handed.

Nash's suggestion wasn't optimal, as no one was chasing the blonde, and no one was happy with the outcome. But if everyone takes the risk of pursuing blondes, they will only end up with greater risks. This game can explain why there are more and more "leftover women" in our society: the more beautiful the lady, the more men will be attracted to pursue it, and every man will think too many people to pursue this beautiful woman, and the probability of rejection is very high, and the result will be empty-handed.

In addition, there is also the famous "wheat ear theory" about love games. The theory comes from a story like this:

Three disciples of Socrates, an ancient Greek philosophical teacher, asked their teachers how to find their ideal partner. Socrates did not answer directly, but told them to go through the ridges of the wheat fields, and only to go forward, and only to be given one chance to pick one of the largest ears of wheat in Man.

The first disciple walked a few steps and saw a large, beautiful ear of wheat and happily plucked it. But as he continued to walk, he found that there were many larger ones in front of him than the one he had picked, and he had to regret the whole journey.

The second disciple learned his lesson, and whenever he wanted to pick it, he always reminded himself that there was something better to come. When he was near the finish line, he realized that he had missed all the chances.

The third disciple learned the first two lessons, and when he reached the third of the way, he was divided into three categories: large, medium, and small, and when he walked the third of the way, he verified that it was correct, and when he reached the last third, he chose a beautiful ear of wheat that belonged to the large category. Although this was not necessarily the largest and most beautiful one, he completed the whole process with satisfaction.

This story is transformed into a love game, it can be said that when looking for a partner, it is like walking into a wheat field, there are ears of wheat beckoning to us along the way, and many people do not know which one to pick, so there will be hesitation and hesitation, regret and sadness. And no matter how much a normal person cares, he or she has to choose one to accompany him or her on his or her journey. Of course, it is not excluded that a very small number of people will change again and again in a short life. For a person, choosing the most suitable opposite sex among many suitors is a major event related to lifelong happiness. Therefore, choosing a date is crucial.

Let's suppose that 20 suitable single men are interested in pursuing a particular girl, and that girl's task is to choose the best one among them to marry and who to marry. Choosing the best one out of these 20 people is not an easy task, what can be done to achieve this result?

Obviously, the best way is to contact all 20 people, understand each person's situation, and find out which one is most suitable (of course, not necessarily the best), a person's energy is limited, and it is impossible to spend a lot of time interacting with everyone. Assume stricter conditions: each person can only date once, and can only choose to give up or accept once they have chosen, and once they have chosen a marriage partner, they will not have the opportunity to date someone else. So does the best way to do that? In fact, there is. A good approach can increase the chances of reaching the goal, and of course there is no denying that there is an element of qi. Let's use the model to simulate the actual battle. Obviously, you shouldn't choose the first person you meet, because the probability that he is the best fit is only 1 in 20. This probability can be said to be very slim, and putting the chips directly on the first person is also the worst bet. Again, the situation is the same for the people in the back, and everyone has only a 1 in 20 probability. It can be the most suitable among 20 people. You can group all suitors into groups (e.g. 5 groups, 4 people in each group), start with the first group, and in the first group every man dates, but do not choose the man in the first group, even if he is good and perfect, he must choose to give up. This is because the probability that the most suitable object will exist in the first group is only 1/5. If you meet someone better than this group of people in the future, marry this person. In real life, people often make choices in this way, by summarizing the experience and experience of previous love, as the basis for evaluating latecomers.

Of course, this method is like the "ear of wheat theory", it does not guarantee that the fullest and most beautiful ears of wheat will be selected, but it can choose the most beautiful ears of wheat among the largest.

Find a suitable date, and then the process of falling in love is generally a process of repeated games, so lovers have countless opportunities to "treat others in their own way". So, in the process of this repeated game, who will be the winner in the love field? Will you win the game?

According to Robert Axrode's experiment, victory also always belongs to lovers who are well-intentioned, tolerant, tough, and simple. On the contrary, lovers who are malicious, vitriol, soft, and complex are often defeated. Therefore, the game to get happy love should be:

First, treat lovers with kindness rather than malice.

Second, be tolerant rather than harsh towards lovers. Happy lovers may not be loyal, and certainly not unfaithful, and the key to their happiness is to be tolerant of each other, both for each other's shortcomings and even for his occasional infidelity. And people who treat lovers harshly, and who are always unwilling to tolerate their lovers' occasional infidelity, are often not happy.

Third, be tough and not weak with lovers. It is to be under the premise that I will always love you, so that there is love and hatred, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and a cure for others in the way of others. Among them, of course, there must be limits and proportions, every time you lose your temper, there is a limit, and you must be able to tolerate each other.

Fourth, be simple and clear, rather than treating lovers in a crowded manner. Axroed's experiments have proved that in the process of the game, overly complex strategies make it difficult for opponents to understand and bewilder, so it is difficult to establish stable cooperative relations. In fact, in a "non-zero-sum" environment, "the city government is strict", "the soldiers are not tired of deceit", and "pretending to be confused" is often not the best policy.

On the contrary, a clear personality, a concise style and an honest attitude are the keys to success. Let the lover understand what you are talking about, and don't let the other party guess and cause misunderstandings. Because, it is not uncommon to treat lovers simply and clearly and eventually lead to misunderstandings and break up in love tragedies, so it is better to keep the means of love simple, so that lovers can understand at a glance, eliminating a lot of time for guessing.

Marriage management is also an interesting science. If both sides don't change their minds, that's the best outcome. In heaven I wish to be a winged bird, and in the earth I wish to be a branch; If you change your mind, the result is not bad, you take your Yangguan Road, and I cross my single-plank bridge; If one of the parties changes his heart and finds a better love, but the other party is still stupidly loyal, then the one who finds a new love is the happiest, happier than the result of both of them not changing their hearts, and the one who is abandoned because he has found a better lover, and the one who is abandoned because he has found a better lover, and the result is more unfortunate than both of them, because the pressure he bears comes from both the happiness of the other party and his own unhappiness.

This is very similar to the prisoner's dilemma, according to the analysis conclusion of the prisoner's dilemma, the most proud choice of lovers is to find a new love, the most naïve choice is to be old in the wilderness, the most rational choice is to part ways, and the worst choice is to be ruthlessly abandoned by the other party who has another new love. The problem is that the most proud ending is too immoral, the most naïve ending is too illusory, the most rational ending is too cruel, and the worst ending makes one party too heartbroken.

However, it is not uncommon for people to be successful in love in life, and it is not uncommon for people to stay together for a lifetime, and it cannot be said that they are all reluctant. The answer to the happy love life that exists in reality can also be found in game theory. This is thanks to Robert Aixrode of the University of Michigan in the United States. He organized an experiment in a computer competition. The idea of the contest is very simple: anyone who wants to participate in this computer contest takes on the role of a prisoner in the case of the "Prisoner's Dilemma", and they start playing the game of "Prisoner's Dilemma", where everyone has to choose between cooperation and betrayal. The key problem is that they don't just play the game once, they play it 200 times over and over again, which is known as the "Repeated Prisoner's Dilemma".

As a result, this is a more realistic reflection of everyday relationships. Again, this is a noteworthy condition, the simplest prisoner's dilemma model speaks of a one-time game, and it is this one-time game that exacerbates the prisoner's determination to make a confession.

The results of the experiment surprised Aixrode, because the winner of the competition had adopted a strategy that was not sophisticated at all, but very simple: report after report. As the old Chinese saying goes, the way of others, the body of others.

Marriage management is also an interesting science. Smart reader, do you know how to play your "love game"?