My good friend had a very poor mentality during the graduate school entrance examination, and always said that he would not be able to pass the exam, because his school major was ordinary, but his competitors were very powerful, in a word: he was too bad.

She has always worked hard in her studies, but "I never felt that I was any good".

For her, I will play a role of encouragement, affirmation, and support, but it seems to only seem positive, but the effect is not satisfactory.

01

When you insist on something for a long time but don't get a response for a long time, self-denial will always come at the right time. While trying to be a "better person", he is "tied down".

A lot of people around me have this real feeling.

It seems that the sooner this matter has passed, the mentality has become better.

02

On the way to getting better, few people regard such psychology as a normal "physiological reaction" and are still distressed by it. You will feel inferior to others, it is you who feel the difficulty of the task during the revision process, and if it is something that is within your ability, you will only feel relaxed.

You're challenging yourself all the time, so you're climbing a 90-degree hill while others are walking on a flat path. Then self-denial:

I'm still not good enough.

From psychology to action, negative psychological influence to action, unfolding a chain reaction.

03

"Good" is a relative word, and people can only see "good results", not "good to a degree", which is not a prejudice, but a social choice.

Everyone's starting point is different, so the effort required to reach the goal is not equal.

That's why a lot of people say, "Why am I trying so hard or..."

04

Therefore, a junior college student who succeeds in the postgraduate entrance examination will sound more inspirational than a 985 student. How do they overcome "self-denial"?

It is often said that going from 0-1 is the hardest, but the difficult thing here is to start, and this step is really difficult for people without pressure, but for players under pressure, this step is as long as you grit your teeth and face it with a dead-death mentality, I think it is simpler.

And from 1-2 is not necessarily, just like a friend in the preparation for the graduate school entrance examination, at this time she is like a rootless duckweed, because it is difficult to maintain efficient input day after day, as if she is betting on an uncertain future, which is much more difficult than at the beginning.

If you can visualize the progress in the process, self-denial will pour into self-affirmation.

Chen Yunru in "I Want to See You" can't see Mo Junjie's liking, Huang Yuxuan's redemption, but magnifying Li Ziwei's dislove, classmates' complaints and family's neglect.

Forrest Gump always remembers only the good of his mother, the good of Jenny, and the good of Chief Taylor, and ignores the other bad things.

In fact, you have been on the road to getting better

Take out the pen, take out the paper, list your achievements, and think back to those highlights.



(These "classmates" are all bigwigs in various industries...)



Whether it's a small blessing or a highlight moment in the limelight, in short, it is those moments that have special meaning and impressive moments for you.

Since it's just a reminiscence, then you just need to record the event and then think about the benefits that it brought you.

I highly recommend that those who often fall into so-called self-doubt develop a habit of doing things to record some of the benefits they have experienced, the feelings they have experienced, such as happiness, the sense of accomplishment, and the practical, such as what the actual benefits you have gained.

This is important to you, and let me tell you why and why I would advise you to do it.

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This is the most terrifying, for example, when you are doing something, doing it, you have a lot of thoughts of self-evaluation and self-doubt, and you can often do 90% of the blow, so that you can stop one thing from going on.

Can this self-doubt be avoided?

The answer for those who have experienced it is that it is inevitable.

So what to do?

My answer is----

"Since, since everything happens, let's take the initiative to let it happen!"

The way I do this is by actively engaging in "self-doubt".

Think about it, what kind of situation do you find yourself in when you are often mired in self-doubt? Don't deceive yourself, even when you're not doing things well.

At this time, you are struggling to do things, thinking that things will not get the expected results, and many non-event ideas arise spontaneously, thinking about what is the point of doing this... After some psychological "arguments", you often get a negative answer.

Since the answer to the "argument" is no, that is, what you are doing is not worth it, then give up?

Uh-huh! Congratulations, you've finally found a reasonable reason to give up!

But is this really that "reasonable"? … When you write down the whole mental process, you can immediately see the little Jiujiu hidden behind it, it is: things are "not done well", ----things are "worthless", ---- worthless things are not worth doing---- don't do it!

However, isn't it ridiculous that "things are not done well" ---- things are "worthless", isn't this link ridiculous, can you conclude that things are worthless if you do things badly, isn't this self-deception?

So, you have to ask yourself, are you really self-doubting, or is it because you can't do a good job, if it's the latter, remember, it's not self-doubt, that's called avoidance!

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And what I want to say is that it is often because the moment things go wrong, we have the so-called "self-doubt", which is essentially an emotion, which is a precursor to our retreat.

When there are emotions, the decision to give up is often really made.

It's very irrational and terrible.

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What I have to do is, since you want to doubt yourself, come on, I will take the initiative to self-doubt and self-check!

I don't want to wait for you passively, but actively, in my good mood, in my things that are going well----- why can you only doubt yourself when things don't go well, and I can't doubt myself when things go well!

So, when things go well, when you are glorious, write down all the "meanings" and "values" that you can think of, all the "values" that you can think of, in black and white.

Record the moments that excite you with your voice.

Record your peak moments with video.

Do these records really tell you that there is "meaning" in this? Yes! Is it "valuable"? Yes!

So when you get into the so-called "self-doubt" when things don't go well, you will be embarrassed to talk about "meaningless" and "worthless" again!

Because, you have a lot of real textual information, audio information, and video information, which can slap you in the face, and they tell you: It's not that these things of mine have suddenly become meaningless and worthless, it's just that you can't do it yourself and want to escape, don't be so special to increase the value at every turn, if you want to give up, quickly admit it, don't use labor and management as a shield!

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I hope it will help you, public name: Bai Shishi.

Helpful answer to recommend one:

Bai Shishi: The method of memorization that I rely on