Let's start with the conclusion: there is no way of thinking that can break the tendency of self-denial and self-doubt unless you create new experiences for yourself.

Theory first, then examples, and then practice.

Theory:

1. A deep-rooted way of thinking often has a deep empirical foundation.

Self-doubt is often due to neglect in childhood.

Self-denial is often due to not being recognized by significant others in the upbringing.

2. Thinking tendencies have a tendency to constantly consolidate yourself, when you have formed an inner pattern of self-doubt and self-denial due to many experiences, this pattern will drive you to constantly seek and create the facts of "I have no value" and "I have no meaning" in life experience to consolidate yourself.

3. There are many kinds of facts in real life, and every fact can be interpreted from multiple angles, so no matter what kind of projection you hold on to the external world to find the "facts" that consolidate your internal patterns, you will succeed, and the "self-fulfilling prophecy" will help you create such "facts".



(Original author of the comics: Sarah AndersonSinicization: Milo)

4. So, even though your feelings are real to you, to get out of them, you start by learning to "distrust" your feelings and reasoning and act on more positive beliefs.

Example:

The American drama "Thisisus" tells the story of a family of five, Jack and Rebecca have triplets, brother Kevin, sister Kate, and brother Karl die in childbirth, and the Jack couple, who are immersed in the loss of their child, decide to adopt Randall, a baby who was abandoned on the same day.

Among the three children, the eldest brother Kevin is the most cheerful and healthy, the younger sister has been obese since she was a child and was excluded by her peers, and the younger brother is an adopted black child. Because his parents pay more attention to his younger siblings and ignore Kevin many times, even though Kevin has grown up to become a well-known actor, he always relies on his sister to help him deal with interpersonal problems, often doubts his own worth, and always has a feeling of loneliness and neglect.

As a child, Kevin had the experience of being neglected by his parents who were so busy paying attention to his younger siblings that he almost drowned in the swimming pool.



Growing up, Kevin was always skeptical of the value of his ideas and always tended to deny himself.



When Kevin is told that he is actually gifted and just habitually self-doubting, Kevin tells his feelings about "reality".



Hands-on:

1. Strengthen the feeling of self-affirmation.

Collect the honors you've received, the encouragement you've received, and put them in a place where you can see them at all times.

Find friends who can encourage you to support your ideas, and when you feel self-doubting, seek affirmation.

When you feel self-affirming because of your accomplishments, write down those feelings carefully so that you can refer to them later.

2. Self-doubt and self-denial, don't try to use your thinking to directly improve this feeling, which is often futile, try to "distrust" the feeling that is real for yourself, act based on more positive beliefs, and create new experiences for yourself.

For example, when I was writing this answer, my thoughts would pop up and tell me many times that "your ideas are worthless", "what you write is nonsense", "you are just wasting the reader's time". But I try not to ignore my own thoughts, and although I do get interrupted by thoughts of self-denial, after each interruption I don't get frustrated or fight with thoughts of self-denial, but start again until it's done.

It's like an obstacle race, the idea of self-denial may indeed trip you, but your goal is always at the finish line, don't put in the effort to fight the obstacles, once you reach the finish line, you will feel better.