Under the neon lights, I have no love except for my obsession with wine. Whether it's day or night, for me, it's a luxury that I shouldn't have.

My heart was full of gray, and once upon a time I longed for the light, and I wanted to share this beauty with her in the sunshine like others, but unfortunately the sky did not follow people's wishes, and later, my favorite night gradually left me. Thus, in my world, there is no such thing as day and night......

It's not that I'm decadent, but I'm tired, I'm really tired, I just want to get drunk once, drunk him for the rest of my life, drunk him to be angry, drunk him to do my own thing, I have no wishes and no regrets!

It wasn't until I met her that she gave me sunshine and spring, summer, autumn and winter, and before I could start with her, we chose to leave. I don't regret it, I just hate myself, and it wasn't until she was gone forever that I realized that this was really eternal!

Are you on the other side around the corner? After I am drunk, can I still take a sip of the decanting soup you brewed yourself? But on the bridge, have you already chosen to forget? By the Lethe River, are you waiting for me to meet? After a thousand years of reincarnation, where are you and me?

remembers Su Dongpo, who once wrote such a poem; Ten years of life and death, without thinking, unforgettable, thousands of miles of lonely graves with nowhere to talk about desolation. Even if you don't know each other, there are only a thousand tears.

My and my her met in autumn and parted in autumn......

I remember that she once said that he likes the season of autumn, just because we met in autumn and this season, and she also gave herself a pen name "Nian Qiu".

I don't know what the true meaning of Nianqiu is, but with each age group, there is a different sense of understanding. This has a lot to do with my past, my encounters, my realm, and my present.

At that time, my understanding of the word "Nianqiu" was limited to that time. She also said that Nianqiu was only used for correspondence between the two of us, and she didn't want others to know, and only I could call her Nianqiu.

She is domineering, but also selfish, she has taken everything from me and taken everything from me. She was a learned person, a man of many talents, and a sentimental person, and she was the only one who could steal my heart.

In the autumn of that year, under the introduction of a friend, I met the most important woman in my life - Nian Qiu.

When we met for the first time, we didn't have the love at first sight that others said, nor the past and present lives in mythological stories, nor the déjà vu in the sitcom, of course, there was no continuation of the future exchanges, and in the end we quarreled and ended.

For me at the time, this was simply a bloody plot, how did a good get-together turn into a quarrel?

Three days later, a friend brought me a copy of her work, called "Him Outside the Glass Window"; I read it three times in a row, and finally I didn't forget to find a piece of paper, write my opinions and comments, and ask my friends to return them.

Two days later, she found me again, and we had a very happy conversation, and we felt a sense of regret for seeing each other late.

In the days that followed, the two of us basically exchanged letters by letter, and in the era when there were already mobile phones, we still used the old way, just because she said that people now can't write without mobile phones, and the exchange of letters is more important.

She has a good hand, calligraphy is even better, every stroke falls, more like a man, with the pride and ambition of galloping across the field and stepping on the north and south!

From poetry and prose, to the later non-marrying non-her, non-non-marrying. In her poems, there is the tenderness that a woman should have, the surging between heaven and earth, and the self-knowledge of the warmth and coldness of the world......

Our love lasted for five years, and during these five years, neither of our parents nor friends knew that there was a person or him. And the two of us have also passed all kinds of tests given by life, just one certificate and two red books. So, after repeated discussions between the two of us, we informed both parents of the news, hoping that it could be fulfilled.

But fate played a big joke on the two of us, my parents disliked her for being short and eccentric; And his parents disliked me for being taciturn and insecure. To put it bluntly, her parents still thought I was too poor; And my parents thought that people disliked it, so they did this.

In the past, the old society was all about the right people, but why not today's society? Whether it is a man or a woman, if there is no material material for self-sustaining with each other, after a long time, the other party will definitely look down on the other.

Maybe some people don't agree with my statement, we might as well make an analogy, the wealthy family is too far away for me, I haven't been there, I have no right to speak, but I know that whether it is marrying into a wealthy family or entering a wealthy family, behind their glamorous and glamorous, their sadness is only clear to themselves.

What gives me a say is also the real people and real things that have happened around me. I have a good buddy whose family is relatively poor, and his girlfriend's family is simply two regions different from his.

The new house they bought, the decoration, and all the expenses were all done by the woman, and they didn't even ask for the bride price. The man also contributed, compared to the woman, it was all like a joke.

My buddy is not married, but the woman is married, and the two are also very affectionate. The man's parents were even more happy, thinking that their family had picked up a daughter-in-law for nothing, and they praised everyone when they saw it, and the family was happy.

It wasn't until later that my buddy once drank too much and cried and told me that he was in pain now, and whenever they were a little unpleasant, the woman would complain that he ate mine and lived with me, and all sorts of other things......

I also have a colleague's sister, that girl is very beautiful and very lively, when she was in college, I met a "big young master!" ”

I heard that their family is a catering, my father is the chairman, and he became the general manager after finishing college, and there are several branches in their family, and after the girl finished college, she was taken to his company's company by the general manager, and also arranged a very good position.

Two years later, they got married, and on the day of the wedding, I was lucky enough to go, and the wedding was very luxurious, and the girl was very happy.

After getting married, the two of them went to many places, and it was half a year later when they came back again. Later, the status of the girl was clearly revealed, and the one I remember the most was that the general manager scolded the girl in front of the girl's parents.

I vividly remember the hysteria of the girl's mother who was in tears on the spot, and her father, who was stronger, and hid alone in the bathroom afterwards, made my heart ache.

In fact, if you think about it from another angle, it is the pity of parents all over the world, whether it is a boy or a girl, parents want them to live a better life in the future, so they have to intervene in the current children.

In the cognition of the fathers, the starting line of the two is very important, and it is related to the happiness of the rest of their lives, and their starting point is not wrong.

We don't know, who doesn't want to be born into a rich family and enjoy a prosperous life, who doesn't want to be carefree, choose what they love, love what they choose, and change their lives against the sky in a fantasy novel by their own temperament.

As the joke goes, reincarnation is also a technical job, and we are already like this, so what can we do but continue the rest of our lives? Who can know if you will become him tomorrow!

Nianqiu and I, in fact, I am also afraid, because living together with two people will make each other recognize each other more clearly. As long as two people live together, each other's shortcomings will be unreservedly exposed.

Nianqiu was very smart and knew my worries and concerns, so she told me that neither of us relied on our families, and we were only the most ordinary couple.

If you can't afford to buy a house, you can rent a house first, and take your time step by step, so that your life will be meaningful.

We have tried many times to persuade our parents to oppose each other's parents, but to no avail, and we have used many ways and means, but in the end we have failed.

Later, my parents, Trustee, introduced me to a girl who was very understanding; And she is the same, the family introduced a rich, powerful, and handsome boyfriend.

Our parents told us that if we were really true love, we would set a one-year deadline, and during this year, both of us had to devote ourselves to each other's person, and Nianqiu and I were not allowed to contact each other.

The parents' point of view is that love at our age is just a spur of the moment, and if we give each other time, we will recognize it.

And Nianqiu and I believe in each other and trust each other, so we decided to follow the wishes of our parents and prove it to them within a year period, which also tested our persistence in this love.

As a result, time washes us away, and reality once again teaches us to mature; We both failed, and our respective she and him made us both almost forget about the old him and her. If it weren't for the appointment between the two of us a year ago today, perhaps, we would have missed it in this life.

It's not that we can't stand the test, but we are too tested, and we also know that the parents' statement is actually subconsciously, secretly changing the original, which is even more irresponsible and ridiculous, and it is also a kind of misleading to us.

Our love for each other has surpassed the kind of two people together, even if we are thousands of miles apart, even if we marry someone else, we can understand each other and understand each other.

At the beginning, the parents' strong resistance and opposition put the two of us in a predicament, and we also thought about going away, just because we liked literature, so that there was a shackle invisibly, firmly locking our bold ideas.

A year later, we failed, defeated by fate and reality, but our love escalated and became the kind that only the two of us can understand.

A year later, in that season, I came to the meeting place early to wait, and the scenes of the past were screened again, and the sentences in my mind reappeared; It feels like watching a movie, but I am a corner of the story, whether it is the process or the ending, in and out of the play, there is me and her.

I was looking forward to seeing her right away, but I was afraid to see her. In this way, with a worried heart, coupled with the pictures and dubbing in my brain's memory, as well as the familiar tastes and environments, the uneasiness that permeated the yellowed air overwhelmed me!

Gu Yan's reluctance to leave made me into confusion; The parting of one or two fallen leaves tells the joys and sorrows of the past. The autumn wind swayed unbridled from time to time, causing the whole world to panic......

At the other end of the corner, there was still the sound of a car, and I stepped on the dead branches in search of prestige, only to see a man in a black trench coat, holding a woman in white in his hand, walking slowly towards me.

I remember she once said that she hated wearing white clothes the most, and if one day, she appeared in front of me in white clothes, no matter what style or type, it would be the wedding dress when she married me.

When we were about 10 meters apart, we stopped and looked at each other.

She smiled, the shy kind of laugh; And I, at this moment, am a kind of smile that gets what I want, a kind of laughter that is a husband. Although it was short-lived, the regrets in their hearts were forgotten.

Although we never said a word from beginning to end, although our wedding was not as prosperous and grand as others; But we have a wedding where we look at each other in pairs and only have a giggle, and others don't have it. Although we don't have any witnesses to marriage, and we don't have the blessings of relatives and friends, who has ever seen my current boyfriend hold the hand of his current girlfriend and hand it over to someone else to get married?

So the two of us are also happy and lucky, but in my heart, it is unfair to Nianqiu's boyfriend.

After a long time, Nianqiu whispered to her boyfriend next to her, let's go back! And of course her boyfriend was very happy, because we were ten meters apart, and we didn't say a word from beginning to end, and we just looked at each other stupidly for a long time. At the moment of turning to leave, Nianqiu broke free of her boyfriend's hand, grabbed her boyfriend's arm, and relied on her boyfriend to walk towards the road he came, and the two looked very sweet.

Although I stood alone and watched them go away, my heart was happy.

For the next three years, we did not see each other, and we exchanged letters frequently, and the contents of the letters were all poetry and prose.

I am also married to the current one and have a home of my own, I love her very much, and she loves me very much; Thankfully, she had our unborn baby in her belly.

Often things are like this, when you want to cherish and protect someone, fate always likes to play a joke on you. We are human beings, not mythical gods who can predict the future, what else can we do except grasp the present!

Finally, one day, the nightmare found us, and when the doctor told me apologetically that they had done their best, my whole sky collapsed. In addition to crying bitterly, at that moment, I was so small, helpless and helpless occupied all of me, and loneliness and anxiety accompanied me for a long time!

After a certain season of the year, the autumn that overwhelmed me came again, and I swept the solitary leaves in front of the door and sent them home.

Nianqiu's phone rang, and when I answered it, I realized that it was her husband. The other end of the phone is all desolate, the time for Nian Qiu is running out, and I want to see me for the last time, and the place is still the old place.

When I reappeared in my long-lost home, the yellowing air was filled with only the smell of parting; There was still a beeping sound around the corner, and I still greeted it, and the sound of stepping on it was still the same, but it didn't have the original taste.

Finally, I still saw the two of them, and Nianqiu was still dressed in white. Unlike three years ago, she looked a lot thinner and haggard, her husband supported her, and her husband, dressed in white, seemed to be much older, except for me, who was dressed in black.

This time, when Nianqiu saw me, she smiled like she did three years ago, but I ran to her with tears in my eyes.

This time, she lay in my arms and pulled out a red book, but it was a divorce certificate.

Nianqiu asked me, is it okay for me to die in your arms?

I shook my head desperately; Her husband just said to me that she liked it and left.

From the time Nian Qiu and I met to the present, there has been no confession, but I love each other very much. Nianqiu said these few words to me at the last stop of her life, and since then, we can only be separated by yin and yang.

"We met and loved in autumn. Farewell to autumn, hate autumn. Before his death, he felt that there was no love, on the Mengpo Bridge and in the Lechuan River, how could he still miss it in autumn. If there is an afterlife, I would like to know you in the autumn; If there is an afterlife, I would like to fall in love with you in the autumn. Promise me one thing, let me look at your smile and listen to your laughter leave, okay? Don't cry and send me away, for I will be sad; You are not allowed to cry, save all your tears, and slowly return me in the next life! ”

After listening to him tell me their story, I fell silent.

I didn't know how to comfort him, let alone how to ask me about the doubts in my heart, so I casually asked, "If you had a chance to choose, what would you choose?"

I knew that I was not asking this question very well, and his answer made me wonder how to continue for a while.

"One is my wife, the other is my wife......"

I could only ask him from a different angle: "Do you really love her?" A man has two women in his heart, and for the former......"

As for what he said as long as he and Nianqiu have the kind of relationship, I don't understand, I have always thought that his love for Nianqiu is not between men and women, the kind of firewood, rice, sauce, vinegar, and tea, but just a kind of love in literature. The one who married her, I think is her true love!

However, I was also a little unsure, and I was also confused, because I still hadn't been able to figure out what love was and what love was.

Because there are so many things in any kind of love that it itself is very messy in my understanding!

In response to my question, his answer was a direct quote: "Ananda said to the Buddha, 'I fell in love with a woman'"

The Buddha asked Ananda, "How much do you like this woman?"

Ananda said, "I would like to be incarnated as a stone bridge, and I will be blown by the wind for 500 years, the sun for 500 years, and the rain for 500 years, and I just want her to pass over the bridge." ”

My love for her seems to be as plain as water, but in fact it is vigorous.

She and I are like fireworks, as the fireworks disperse, we will also disappear without a trace, only the beauty of the past, is the eternity remaining in the memory. I love her without any regrets, I would rather be a stone bridge, just ask her to sing with me!