After returning home, Li Huinan originally planned to go to Yunnan or Tibet. I don't know why I don't want to go, but I don't want to go very suddenly, and suddenly I don't have passion. She didn't understand it herself, she could do what she wanted to do now, but when it was time to do it, she regretted it and retreated, not because she didn't dare but because she was afraid, what she was afraid of, Li Huinan herself didn't know. Maybe it's because it's settled down for a while, and it's probably not going to be used to wandering around again.

From the age of eighteen to twenty-six, Li Huinan is used to living like this, although she complains and says that she has a little dream, she just says that she still doesn't want to act, and a person will always have some ideas inexplicably, and inexplicably deny it. Li Huinan felt that she was sick, a kind of lonely mania, a kind of delusional fantasy disease, she felt that she couldn't distinguish what was true and what was false, she didn't know what she wanted, it was both positive and negative, she had no judgment at all, and she doubted herself for a while.

She feels that her lack of self-confidence, disapproval, is quietly destroying her life, she tries her best to save herself, the harder she works, the more helpless, the more decadent, decadent to give up on herself, she is very helpless, but also very aggrieved, pretending to be strong heart is always vulnerable, even if she goes through a thousand tribulations, she still can't change the original hole.

This time I went home to rest for a long time, probably because my younger brother didn't come home for the Chinese New Year, and in March, Li Huinan's father didn't say anything about letting Li Huinan work early. Thinking that the small temple in the village will give porridge to the old man in a few days, the object is only the elderly, this started nineteen years ago, the initiator is also an old man, their family believes in Buddhism, and often goes to the temple to burn incense and chant scriptures. The old man's daughter-in-law has a good paper figure, and her skills are quite good, Li Huinan has seen it a few times, especially the car, which is really decent, except for being a little smaller, you can't tell whether it's true or not.

There are a total of ten gods in the small temple, all of them are Buddhist, the first thing you see when you enter the door is the Buddha, next to it is a few Bodhisattvas, there are men and women, and then there are four hideous bronze statues. Li Huinan was afraid when she was young, and she was still afraid when she grew up. The temple is not large, only 70 square meters, and the population of the village is not large, so it is not crowded. There are many children at the door, and they are all brought by grandmothers to get food. The porridge here is very delicious, Li Huinan remembers going to join in the fun once, one of the people in charge saw that Li Huinan was too thin and served her a bowl, Li Huinan still remembered that the taste was amazing, not whether it was good or not, but she actually ate a warm feeling, in the words we often say, it is the taste of mother, she likes it very much.

It's just that after many years, I went to see it again, things are not people, the place is still as big as it used to be, what has changed is the wall, and the glass fragments are pasted with cement on it, and this is because someone entered to steal things and destroy it before, and the glass was smashed in a large hall, and the old people naturally did not agree, so they thought of such a trick. It can only be said that today's children are becoming more and more naughty, and there are many hooligans in society, always thinking about getting something for nothing, always doing some things like stealing chickens and dogs, Li Huinan despises these people very much, and they can't even be called scumbags, they can't be called people. Although everyone says that there is no hierarchy between people, petty theft, murder and arson, and abduction and trafficking of women are all despised by people, and it can basically be said that they do not belong to the human profession, and they are not discriminatory, but they feel sad and hateful.

Li Huinan looked at the small temple from a distance, looking at it alone, feeling that the noise there was two worlds with herself, and it had nothing to do with her, she was envious and jealous. She is miserable again, has lost her ideals, and has lost the motivation to pursue love.

There is a big garbage dump not far from the temple, it was originally made of cement, because the business was not good and it was sold, and then it became a place to throw garbage in the city, this place is the childhood of many children, because when they were children, everyone liked to come here to catch scorpions, at that time scorpions can be sold for money, a five-dollar, is also a very good price, children, just want to get some money to buy some food, older boys want to go to the Internet, this money is not stealing, and fun, so there are a lot of people who go, everyone goes in a team. Because it is humid and there are many trees, it is especially suitable for scorpions. There are tweezers to take the tweezers, there is no use of the book, the harder paper is not easy to hurt yourself, the worst is to catch the scorpion with your own hands, the boy is more skinny and likes to catch it with his hands, once he was stung and began to scream there, it hurts, it hurts, and he does not change after calling to continue to grasp empty-handed, one person a bottle, how much soil is decorated in it, so it is good for himself and the scorpion, the boy is keen on the big scorpion, the girl likes the small, the small one will not hurt, and it is easy to catch, and it is not easy to catch, because it is too small, just a crack to drill into.

There is a piece of land on the top of the big pit I don't know when a big pit was dug up, I heard that there were fish in it, and everyone went again, because it was muddy, some people didn't dare to go down, for fear of sinking, and they just made a fishing net around the fish, Li Huinan only caught a small fish, and the rest were tadpoles. She was also curious about how a big pit could suddenly have tadpoles and fish in a big pit and a sudden rain, and she still didn't understand. At that time, I only thought it was magical, and I didn't ask about these things later, so I grew up magically.

Later, when I was in high school, I went there a few times, all to see the peach trees over there, because she liked to see the peach blossoms, one by one, one by two, one by two. The flowers are so intoxicating, like a beautiful dancing girl, she loves this peach orchard to death, it is so beautiful. Like a dream like the wind, all the sadness and sadness are not needed at this moment, right here, quietly here, it is also good to sleep peacefully, she is content and happy here.

Holding a paintbrush and slowly drawing the color of all the petals, carefully looking at their appearance when they are in full bloom, it is joy and satisfaction, it is happiness, it is beauty, she loves such beauty, such an environment, all of her childhood, the most childish time, always so nostalgic and obsessed, remember to forget, soon and quickly, slowly disappear, step by step, there is no longer a way to come.

After walking these roads again, Li Huinan shouted to this land: I love here, this contains my childhood, all my own.

Li Huinan touched every plant on the side of the road is full of love, this is not only the place she liked when she was a child, she has grown up, she has something to worry about, she is unhappy, this is also a place she likes to come to, because it is quiet, because there are no more people than before, and there are no more people than before.