Chapter 14 You are the suicide note of the past, the lingering love of the sunset, and the wind that keeps growing under the feet of passers-by

When I passed by a puddle, I just stepped over when I heard a noise behind me, and the walls on both sides of my hand slowly slipped down, and I felt a sigh in my heart, and turned around and hurriedly pushed away the north road that was about to cross, "North Road, don't come here, this place is going to fall!" ”

Before I could finish speaking, a loud crashing sound came to my eardrums behind me, and I didn't have time to think about it, so I quickly pounced on Beilu's body and pushed him aside.

As I expected, it was a seam, and it was already a pile of rotten stones and dirt due to disrepair, which collapsed after years of rain and the shaking of many of us, and the stone fell on my legs, crushing my legs underneath, and I lost feeling in my legs after a sharp pain, would I be a disabled person like this? Will I need to be accompanied by a wheelchair in the future? I was suddenly scared, and tears flowed from my eyes.

The collapsed rock formed a wall behind us, but fortunately it was only a few corners that pressed me, not in the center, not to pile up a door on my lap, Haoran and Xichen kept calling our names over there, but I didn't have the strength to answer them.

And Beilu was also busy helping me remove the stones from my legs one by one, and he kept reassuring me not to be afraid, his forehead was full of sweat, but he didn't seem to feel it, just picked up his sleeve and wiped it against his eyes. Then the clothes were wet.

"Beimo, don't worry, I'm almost done moving, we can go home, don't worry, we will be home in less than half an hour." North Road desperately wants to reassure me.

But his brow was furrowed so tightly, an authentic figure-of-eight, Beilu never knew it, he would never be able to hide it from me, because his eyebrows were my compass, and all his words were an illusion when his brows were furrowed.

He said, "Why are you so stupid? How can you rush over and protect me? I'm a boy, I'm supposed to protect you. ”

He said: "Yin Beimo, are you stupid, who gave you the right to protect others regardless of your own life." ”

"You're none other than that. You're my brother, my dearest person. I stretched out my hands to wipe the sweat from his forehead, my feet were already slightly moving, but the sharp pain returned, and every time I moved, it seemed as if the tendons in it were twitching, and I couldn't rest down.

I bit my lower lip tightly, trying to relieve a little discomfort in my leg with the pain in my mouth, and Kitaji looked at me and asked softly, "Does it hurt?" It doesn't hurt so much when you think about good things, you think about it when you get home and you can eat, you think about the braised fish that your mother made, your favorite dish. ”

"Mmmm, I must eat two big fish to make up for it." I smiled and said to North Road, "I still have to eat a lot of meatballs and a lot of ribs to make my bones very hard." ”

I can't be happy when I think of bones, I don't know if my bones are broken, if the bones are broken, I guess I will have to live in a wheelchair in the future, so can I still go to take the train in the future? So what will I do when I go to school? Am I not going to be able to travel, to go anywhere else, and to work?

The north road finally finished moving all the stones, but I burst into tears, at that moment I really couldn't accept that I would be a person in a wheelchair in the future, witnessing youth in a wheelchair until old age and decay, I really can't imagine.

I threw myself into the arms of North Road and cried, "Am I going to be in a wheelchair on North Road?" Am I no longer able to live a normal life? Am I not going to be able to go far with you? North Road, I'm so scared. ”

"No, it won't, how can you need a wheelchair when you're so healthy? Come, I'll carry you to the hospital. Beilu tried to help me up, but my feet couldn't stand up, so he had to squat down and drag me to his back, and then gently grabbed my legs, but he didn't dare to hold on, because it would hurt when I touched it, he comforted me softly, "Don't be afraid, everything will be fine when you get to the hospital, and the doctor will cure you." ”

"North Road, if I really need to use a wheelchair, then you must remember to take more pictures for me to see? You should come back often and tell me about the places you've visited, the people you've met, and the stories that happened, okay? "I was used to lying on my thin back on the North Road, and I almost forgot the pain in my legs, as if I had finally found a warm harbor.

My eyes slowly closed, and everything in front of me became so empty, "North Road, I'm so sleepy, North Road is actually very happy, because you're okay, maybe I'll grow a pair of wings." ”

"Whether it's with your feet or in a wheelchair, I'll take you with me to see it, fool Yin Beimo." The voice of the North Road grew quieter and quieter, fading into my mind and my head.

I dreamed that I had a pair of snow-white wings and flew freely in the blue sky, and then I saw the sea, and I crossed the mountain peaks, and the butterflies beckoned to me.

Then I saw Beilu and Beichu, they were holding hands in the garden, they looked so happy, so compatible, Beichu was tightly snuggled in Beilu's arms, I smiled at them in mid-air, but they didn't see me.

But I'm still very happy, and I want to go and sincerely congratulate Beichu, because she is finally with Beilu, and she finally stands with the person I like and I feel most comfortable with.

A few days ago, before going to bed at night, Bei Chu got into my bed in full energy and asked me mysteriously how to say it if I confessed to a boy, and how to make others feel excited.

"Beichu, do you have someone you like, who is it?" I scratched Beichu's squeaky nest and asked her with a wicked smile, at first she refused to speak, and then I was forced to lean close to my ear and whispered, it was the stupid guy who saved me.

I looked at Bei Chu in front of me with a crimson face, and I couldn't believe this fact at all, because I never thought that Bei Chu would be tempted by Bei Lu, and there was no hint after so many years, but now I actually met my eyes all of a sudden, Bei Chu looked at me and said nervously, "You are not allowed to tell others, nor can Zhao Xichen, do you understand?" ”

Before I could recover from the shock, I nodded dumbly, and then thought of a very serious question, if the two of them were together, should I call Brother Beilu or brother-in-law?

"Bei Mo Bei Mo, do you think that stupid boy on the North Road will like me?" Bei Chu shook my shoulder desperately, smiled and asked me, her face is a brilliance I have never seen before, that is probably the girl's heart, Bei Chu in front of me is so happy, so radiant.

I came back to my senses and remembered that Beilu had fought hard to save Bei Chu, and I nodded firmly, "Sure, you see that he can even save your life in order to save you, do you need me to say more?" My smart sister. ”

Bei Chu smiled very happily, she has been fantasizing about the future, and has been tracing the care that Beilu took care of her, so it's good, if my sister can live with my most reassuring and down-to-earth person for a lifetime, can take care of and accompany my sister, isn't it the best of both worlds?

Then I don't have to worry about the two of them anymore, because they will take care of each other in the future, especially the company of the North Road is the best support for the North Chu.

But why am I still irrepressibly sad, when I haven't had the courage to imagine all the possibilities with the North Road, the North Chu has decided to confess to the North Road, and is already planning a beautiful love in the future.

But that's fine, at least I don't have an idea yet, at least I can interrupt it, at least I can avoid reverie in the future, and it's my happiness that two of my dearest family members can rely on each other, I think like this and I feel happy and fall asleep.

My dream continued, I flew and flew, passed by them, and then I saw Xichen and Haoran, they were cooking in a house, Xichen was busy in the kitchen with a floral apron, Haoran came over and fed Xichen a biscuit, and then the two looked at each other and smiled. Such a tacit smile seems to have been destined in a previous life.

I didn't bother them, I flew quietly over their heads, and then flew and flew, and fell into a black hole with a thud, the hole was too small for me to fly out of the desperate way, and suddenly two monsters appeared in the hole and grabbed my wings tightly, I struggled with all my power, but it was useless, I only saw the feathers falling one by one, and I woke up all at once.

You are my hero of the world, and one day you will step on the colorful auspicious clouds to marry me, but I didn't expect that there is also a hero in your heart.

Back to the present

After arguing with Cangnan, I don't know how I went back, and I don't know how I escaped from the scene, at that moment I felt like I was a wronged criminal, but it was not an ordinary policeman who misunderstood you, but the person you love the most, he attracted you with a thousand rays of light, and then devoured you with a poisonous tongue, if I said that I heard the sound of my heart trembling in pain, would you believe it? Even I don't believe it, such words, such profoundness.

I have been playing in my mind on a loop those hurtful words that Cangnan said, every word is like a needle and a prick, I remember doing a test before, which of the following do you think is the most painful in life?

Cangnan chose the pain of foot cramps, he said that the pain of being woken up in the middle of the night, the pain of being able to cover his feet fiercely and not stretching or shrinking is the pain he is most afraid of in this life. When he said it, he was in high spirits, dancing and covering it up to me, as if he was going through a catastrophe. But Cangnan probably forgot about it, at that time I chose the pain of being hurt by my lover, it was a process that I didn't dare to imagine and was afraid to experience, maybe at that time it was destined to be hurt and afraid of pain after all, I want to ask Cangnan, now does he still feel that his feet cramp is more painful than being hurt by his lover?

Will he be as uncomfortable as I am, as if every breath is a sin against the world?

I didn't walk back to the dormitory, because in my mind my mind was empty except for the words Cangnan said, but tears fell again and again, wet my collar, froze on my cheeks, stuck to my cheeks, frozen my heart, I suddenly remembered a deep word, full of devastation, but I didn't know why I remembered it.

I walked along the road and kept walking, I didn't know where I was turning, I stopped and stopped, sometimes I walked and walked to the fork in the road, so I raised my head and stood at the intersection in a daze, squatted down and cried until my temples were hard and painful, crying until I couldn't even speak, and I couldn't wait to pant for breath.

Crying seems to take a lot of effort, why every time I cry bitterly, I want to sleep, I feel that the whole person is fluttering, it seems that what flows out is not tears, but full of grievances and poured out with tears, if so, then why am I still full of sadness and grievances.

Just when I felt like I was about to fall asleep under the big tree, I heard someone calling me in a trance, could it be Cangnan? I looked up in surprise to see a strange and puzzled face, he looked at me in some surprise, and then cautiously reminded me, "Beauty, your phone has been ringing for a long time, do you want to take a look?" ”

"Ahhh I nodded blankly, then turned around and took out my mobile phone in my bag, there were more than 20 missed calls in it, could it be that Cangnan called me to apologize? I couldn't wait to go in and take a look, but it was Xichen and Cai Qiang calling, as well as the messages they sent, and they sent more than a dozen messages one after another.

Yin Beimo, do you want to seek death alone, you are too disrespectful, you are willing to let us forget it, have you asked us if we agree? Hurry up and give me back the death! Immediately, immediately!

Where are you? Just now Cangnan called and asked if you came back, did we know that you made such a big fuss, come back quickly, even if there is no love, you still have all of us, come to our warm home, don't be alone outside, we are really worried.

Men are unreliable, but women are animals with very overflowing maternal feelings, Beimo, you have to listen to me, come to our arms, I will dedicate all my warmth to you, like a mother to give you nutritious milk.

No need to explain, no need to look at the sender's name, I know who sent it when I look at the content, the first domineering leak must be the same masculine Cai Qiang, the second is as gentle as water, full of tender and sweet words must be the intimate sister Xichen, as for the third one, it must be Lin Ersi who is disgusting in love no matter when and on what occasion.

"Well, I think you need this." The boy who reminded me hesitated, handed me a tissue, and then smiled hesitantly, pointed to the corner of my mouth, I wiped the corner of my mouth blankly only to find that it was slimy, and I accidentally drooled when I just fell asleep, and I really wanted to find a hole to get into.

Before I could be embarrassed, the mobile phone in my hand rang suddenly, it was Cai Qiang calling, I looked at the photo of our military training on the mobile phone screen, there was a youthful smile in the dark, and the eyes that finally stopped were red again, and a tear dropped on the bright and smooth screen and spread out, like our youth, scattered but crystal clear.

"Don't cry, answer the phone, what's not to say." The boy next to me anxiously took my phone and pressed the answer button, and then reported to the other end, "Hey, you're her friend, she's by the lake in front of the school library, you guys come and pick her up." ”

"Hey, you rude fellow, really." I jumped up and grabbed the phone, glared at the boy, at this time I saw his face clearly, although it was a little blurry in the night, but his glasses were shining brightly, but I could vaguely distinguish his face and edges, his nose was very high, his lips were thin, his hair was high and stood up very neatly, just like the most ordinary senior brother type, and a bit of the feeling of a big brother next door, but his fluent Mandarin and slightly soft soft voice with a thick broadcast tone looked like a pseudo-lady.

Cai Qiang was still calling on the other end of the phone, "Who are you, what the hell did you do with my family's north nose, you bastard, I won't let you go!" ”

"Cai Ye, I'm Beimo, just now that I just didn't know a boy next to me, I'm fine, I'm just in a bad mood and went out for a walk alone, but I accidentally fell asleep under the tree hehe." I tried my best to make my voice sound cheerful and happy, tried my best not to let Cai Qiang hear the reluctance in my voice, tried my best not to let myself cry so as not to worry them, but the moment I heard her familiar voice, I wanted to throw myself into their arms and cry bitterly, saying all the grievances in my heart.

Cai Qiang knows me like that, even if we haven't known each other for a long time, the relationship seems to be hundreds of years, she obviously didn't believe my words over there, and yelled at me fiercely, "Yin Beimo, you stupid woman, stand there and don't move, we'll come out to find you right away, do you hear, are you all dizzy for men?" ”

"I'm sorry Cai Ye, I know I'm useless, but I'm really sad." I couldn't hold back my hysterical crying into the microphone any longer, tears like a sea bursting my banks, spreading around me and engulfing my whole heart again. It's like you're the only one in the world, helpless and isolated.

He Xiaoxiao said that day was the girl he had seen the most disregarding image in his 20 years of life, especially when he saw the shiny saliva flowing from the corner of my mouth, he was really shocked, because he heard my crying a second ago, and was still hesitating to come forward to comfort, but there was no sound in an instant, he thought I had walked into the lake, so he had to hurry over to see what was going on, but saw that I was sleeping alone under the big tree, and then the phone rang and did not wake me up, he looked at the time and worried about something, So I had to come over and wake me up and remind me to answer the phone, but I didn't expect to cry again as soon as I woke up, so in the days that followed, he always felt that I was a good material to be an actor, and he pulled me to play with him as soon as he had a play.