Chapter 15: You're My Weakness That Hurts When I Touch It Even though I use all my bones to be strong

The fate of people is very strange and unexpected, I didn't expect that my sadness and Cangnan's wanton quarrel can bring happiness to Cai Qiang, who would have thought that He Xiaoxiao, who was so kind and sven who accidentally broke into my life at that time, would have so many things happen to Cai Qiang, and such a deep relationship would happen.

People who love you will always appear by your side at a suitable opportunity and bring you different fireworks.

Although there may be incomprehension halfway, although it is just annoying at first, although it does not feel good at first sight, because some feelings are love at first sight, and some feelings are washed and washed by time before you can really discover your true heart.

Cai Qiang said that when he heard He Xiaoxiao's tone, he couldn't wait to strangle him, a pretentious man, such a soft and thin voice was more tender and delicate than a girl, but He Xiaoxiao was obviously aggrieved and explained that this was not what he wanted, after all, the throat was born, after all, no one can change the voice, and if you want to blame, you can only blame yourself for practicing bel canto when she changed her voice.

Xichen when they hadn't arrived yet, He Xiaoxiao and I had a chat with each other, he said that he originally came to the lake to practice his voice, because no one paid attention to him in the dead of night, and he would not disturb others, he was a delicate boy, talking like a girl, and his movements were light and flexible like a girl. He Xiaoxiao said that the reason why he chose film and television acting was only because he wanted to improve his courage, make his personality a little more open, and make himself a little more manly.

He Xiaoxiao is actually a very talkative person, but he is not good at expressing himself, so none of us think that he can go far on this road, he himself said that maybe after graduation he will go home to inherit the family property, his family has a large cultural company, and everyone in the family holds large and small positions in it, he said that his father also hopes that he can go back to take on a big responsibility, but He Xiaoxiao said that he can't even manage his own personality now, let alone manage others to manage the company, And that's not the life he wants, it's too depressing for him.

After chatting and chatting, the two of them became familiar, He Xiaoxiao's body is very similar to Cangnan in some places, such as their simplicity and kindness, such as their yearning for life, such as their family situation and the habit of pursing their lips and smiling. He Xiaoxiao said that I was very much like a girl he used to like, he and that girl ate together every day, skipped class and went shopping, when he confessed to the girl with confidence, the girl said something that made him immediately decide to change his personality and everything.

The girl was surprised and said, "Oh my God, what are you thinking?" I've always treated you like my sister. ”

His words amused me at once, and I tried to hold back my laughter, telling myself that I shouldn't take his sore spot as a laugh, but when I thought about that picture, I couldn't stop laughing, but fortunately he seemed to be used to it, and spread his hands and said, "Laugh if you want, it's not the first time I've heard such a thing anyway." ”

When we were laughing, Xichen and the others came, Xichen ran over and hugged me and asked nervously, "Beimo, are you okay, you made us all dying, you can tell us if you are unhappy, don't run out alone and don't answer the phone, it really scares us." ”

"Don't worry about me, don't worry, I won't fall so easily, and I can't think about it because of this." I stood up and smiled at them, although I was still a little depressed, but after some tossing, I felt much more comfortable.

Cai Qiang came over and grabbed my neck and pressed it down, staring at me with hatred and steel, "Do you say that you are stupid, if you have anything, you will fight and scold it, let my sister solve the man who doesn't understand the amorous style for you, but just don't let me disfigure his peerless face, I really can't do it." ”

Then they noticed that there was still a person sitting on the grass, He Xiaoxiao got up and smiled at them, before I could introduce them to each other, Cai Qiang rushed over and pointed at He Xiaoxiao and said exaggeratedly, "You are the yin and yang weird sissy guy on the phone, now it looks really extraordinary, you don't have to tell the male and female of my family's north nose." ”

He Xiaoxiao's smile immediately froze on his face, his face was a little unnatural, and he weakly retorted to Cai Qiang, "You yourself are yin and yang, there is no distinction between male and female." ”

Cai Qiang and He Xiaoxiao attracted a storm in the city when they met for the first time, they looked at each other unpleasantly, and slandered each other for more than ten minutes together, until we broke the two of them apart, and since then it has been doomed to the mode of getting along with each other when they quarrel as soon as they meet.

After this commotion, it was very late for us to go back to the dormitory, and the next day we had to go to class with two bulb-like eyes, and I saw Cangnan and Yindi talking and laughing to go to class halfway, I stood behind them and looked at their backs, in the tree-lined path, as if all the scenery appeared for them, all the beauty appeared to set off them, I touched my puffy face and didn't even have the courage to step forward and look at them with disdain, Cai Qiang kept scolding me for being spineless, There is no profit.

Who has turned himself into the humblest of all? That's probably only love, only that person can make you lose all your strength and backbone.

I looked at myself in the mirror, my frizzy curly hair hung down on my shoulders, my bangs were distorted crookedly on my forehead due to dishonest sleep, and I still couldn't get it right after pressing it with my hands for a long time, just like I was desperately telling myself not to be sad, but I still felt a faint pain when I thought of Cangnan. The already big eyes were even more swollen like peaches after crying all night, occupying a large area on the round face, and even he looked scary. My lips were dry and white, I licked it again and again, but each time it became very dry again in less than two minutes, a layer of dead skin was very uncomfortable on the outside, I subconsciously bit off those fine pieces of flesh, and a smell of blood accompanied by saliva mixed into my mouth was disgusting. With a haggard face like a person who hadn't eaten for a few days, I poured water from the palm of my hand and sprinkled it on my face, the cold cold water made people sober, and then I didn't dare to look at the girl in the mirror a few more times, and hurriedly ran away from this mirror, from this look of myself.

Often the more you want to hide, the more you can't hide, the more you don't want to see the words that people hear but the more they meet, just like Yindi laughing from time to time, just like Cangnan's unfazed face that appears from time to time, just like Cangnan's words scolding me, the hideous face can't be avoided in my mind, and I can't erase it, it's an estrangement that can't be erased, built high in the middle of me and Cangnan.

Often the words you want to hear the most and the scenes you want to happen the most can't go your way, just like Cangnan's sincere apology, as if Cangnan's warm and sweet smile as usual after seeing me, has become a kind of extravagant and precious, and the memory is always so beautiful.

When Beilu called me, I didn't know whether to tell him these things, he heard the unnaturalness in my tone, so he asked again and again, I knew that all my emotions could not be hidden from him, so I had to tell the truth, I was indignant to accuse Cangnan of how to think like this, it was really outrageous.

"Don't worry, I'll tell him then, don't worry" Beilu's voice comforted me like an angry child, and then paused and asked me, "Beimo, that, do you love Cangnan very much?" Compared to me? ”

"What do you mean, I love both of you, but how can this be compared? It's not a concept at all. I replied blankly, maybe Beilu remembered Beichu, if Beichu was still there, Beilu must be very happy, occasionally complaining to me, and occasionally reminding Beichu not to get into trouble.

But why have we all become like this, I don't know how to face Cangnan, I don't know how to find the beginning of the north, I don't know how to comfort the north road, and suddenly I feel that this world is so complicated, so powerful, so unfathomable, and I can't do anything.

Every day before I go to bed, I think, maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow Cangnan will come to me and say sorry, maybe tomorrow he will bow his head and say to me with a hippie smile like before, come and punish me.

How I am afraid that one tomorrow after another will slip away in a hurry, how I am afraid that Cangnan will disappear into my life in this way, and even the whole years of my life.

Eight thousand meters of shore, seven centimeters of blue You are the sea that I will never meet

Sometimes quarrels are always inevitable, sometimes quarrels are the lubricant of love, and sometimes we should choose to bow our heads, because if we don't bow our heads stiffly, we will eventually get used to the days without each other.

But how can I open my mouth to explain, how can I whisper again to please the person who stabs me deeply?

Although I think that I am still the same as before, Xichen always looks at me cautiously, for fear that something will happen to me, and I sometimes can't help but dislike her impatiently, "Xichen, don't you always stare at me like a patient, okay?" I'm fine, I'm still happy as usual every day, so don't treat me as a patient, okay? ”

"Look at your ghost, tell me how long you haven't laughed, who doesn't treat you as a patient and has a crooked face." As soon as Cai Qiang heard this, he immediately became angry, and dragged me to the mirror for a while, I looked at myself in the mirror in pajamas with a lazy face, and I really couldn't bear to look at it directly.

"Okay, okay, let me prove to you, my heart is still very strong, don't be fooled by my appearance, you superficial people." After saying that, I ran back to my desk and decided to start tidying up from the desk first, and then tidy myself up, and then study hard in the future, and be a good girl with good rules. But every item I picked up seemed to be able to see Cangnan's shadow, the cover was a confused little girl's cartoon graffiti was given to me by Cangnan not long ago, saying that it was to make a fuss when I was fine, I used to have this habit, and when I opened it, there were two villains we drew together on the first day, and the mustache I helped him draw secretly was particularly funny, but now it looks so sad, just like those two mustaches are incompatible with this scene.

In a fit of rage, I stuffed the doodle book into the innermost part of the drawer, thinking that out of sight is pure and out of sight, and it will not arouse sadness. But everything that was packed next seemed to have a big and small relationship with Cangnan, the giraffe's table lamp was a couple we bought together on the Internet, and he said that the long neck was like he missed me; And that cartoon thermos bottle I haven't used once, I said there was no need to buy it, but Cangnan was always worried that I would always drink cold water and have a stomachache, and said that I could soak in milk to replenish my body, it turned out that I was a lazy person, and even boiling water was a troublesome thing; Even the box of large and small pills in the corner was bought and handed to me by Cangnan, in order to make it easier for me to find it as soon as I was sick, and in order to keep me from throwing it away, he specially bought a delicate gift box outside and put it very beautiful and high-end and then gave it to me, he knew that I liked to collect beautiful gift boxes of literature and art, he knew every quirk of mine, knew every habit of mine, but didn't know that I had relied on him so much.

Since when has Cangnan successfully penetrated every detail of my life, it seems that to remove his breath from life, it is necessary to turn the whole world upside down.

"I can't stand it, why is there his stuff everywhere?" I looked at the table and became more and more messy, and finally threw the mirror in my hand on the bed and sulked, the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became, and I wanted to escape from this space immediately, or I could lose my memory in an instant.

Xichen lay down beside me distressed and comforted me softly, "Actually, Beimo, I think Cangnan must be angry to say that about you, he must be very sorry now, why don't you go and talk to him?" ”

"If he regretted it, he would have come to me a long time ago, I don't think he cares at all, and he won't go to him if he kills me." I replied angrily, what if I went to him and lost face, what if he was still so aggressive? I shuddered at the thought of this, and put the quilt on top a little more.

Unconsciously fell asleep, it was already dark when I woke up, I was woken up by Cai Qiang's shaking and Hedong lion's roar, and I thought it was an earthquake I immediately rebounded like a conditioned reflex, and asked Cai Qiang sleepily, "Why don't you go to the Taekwondo Club, disturb people's dreams." ”

"Besides, I even gave up taekwondo for your little, you hurry up and get me up, pig!" Before she finished speaking, she lifted my quilt, a cool breeze blew, I woke up instantly, took the clothes that Xichen threw at me and put them on under Cai Qiang's surveillance, and then changed my shoes as quickly as possible, hurriedly washed my face and asked Cai Qiang, "Are we going to have a big dinner today?" ”

"Eat, eat, remember?" Cai Qiang knocked on my head and dragged me out of the door, then said with a wicked smile, "You see that you will definitely get sick if you nest all day, so in order to avoid collecting corpses and dirty my hands, I will take you for a run to exercise." ”

Cai Qiang's decision was an order for me, and I couldn't resist at all, so I had to pout and follow her to the playground with a face full of unhappiness, but she had already surpassed me for more than half a lap before she ran a lap, and I chased desperately in the back to no avail, and then simply gave up the chase and walked slowly by myself, Suddenly a person slowly ran behind me, stopped beside me to match my pace, is it someone I know? I turned my face to see that it was Cangnan, the moment I touched his eyes, I hurriedly ran away, running forward, his footsteps behind him were getting closer and closer, I struggled to speed up and run forward, he called me from behind, "Hey, Beimo, you wait for me, I'm wrong, can't I?" You don't want to run so fast, be careful of falling, you rarely run in the first place. ”

"Do you really know it's wrong? I don't believe you, and I don't want you to ......" I turned my head and shouted at him, and before I could say anything, I bumped into Cai Qiang, who was running in front of me, and she said to Cangnan behind her, "Why are you so useless, you have to let me come over to help you if you haven't done it yet." ”

"Okay, so you colluded." I pointed at them and suddenly realized, no wonder Cai Qiang suddenly had a whim and wanted to pull me to run, it turned out to be like this. I pretended to be angry and wanted to go back, Cangnan took my hand and hugged me in a hurry, so familiar breath hit my face, some rapid breathing, strong arms, broad chest, and his pounding heartbeat, I knew that I no longer had the strength to break free from this warm embrace.

Cangnan leaned down and hugged my shoulder with all his might, although it was very sore, he could feel his slight trembling, and his gentle voice whispered into his ears, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault, it's me who is too afraid of losing you so I want to think about it, it's me who cares too much about face and is too afraid of you rejecting me so I don't dare to come forward to talk to you, it's me who is too stupid and selfish to make you so sad and make you so haggard, Beimo, I'm sorry." ”

I tried to suppress my crying, trying to raise my head so that he could not feel my tears, but when I heard the last three words, I couldn't help but cry, and I didn't care if I would be looked down upon, whether I would expose my love for him so much.

Hearing my heart-rending cry, Cangnan hurriedly lowered his head to wipe away my tears, but he couldn't stop it, he lowered his head as usual and said, "Beimo, you punish me, you try to punish me, as long as you don't feel uncomfortable." ”

I raised my hand and twisted his ear, but instead of force, I stood on tiptoe and kissed his guilty cheek, his eyes glistened with tears, and I was stunned by my actions, I wiped away my tears and tried to squeeze out a bright smile, but I still laughed more ugly than crying.