Chapter 9 A rose enters your eyes, a pot of liquor melts into your throat, and a breeze accompanies you for a long time, and I hope you will not leave

There is a big festival in winter, that is, the New Year, this time of year is undoubtedly a paradise for children, and the happiest day of the year is probably this time, and Beichu and I are no exception.

In the winter of that year, I sat with Beilu for Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, watched fireworks together, played with fireworks sticks and almost burned my clothes, I yelled and jumped, "It's over, I'm on fire!" ”

Who knows that the more it moves, the bigger the fire burns, and I am as anxious as an ant on a hot pot.

"Get out of the way, let me come!" The North Road hurriedly poured a basin of cold water on me, and as a result, the whole New Year was spent in sneezing.

When I went to see my grandmother, my uncle joked "Haha, our snot girl is back".

I still remember when I ate the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, my mother made a big table of dishes, our three children played in the house, Yin Taoze helped my mother cook in the kitchen, it was the most lively Chinese New Year's Eve dinner in our family since childhood, the three of us used to eat together, although my mother will also cook a lot of sumptuous meals that I can't usually eat, but after eating, I undoubtedly turned on the TV to watch the Spring Festival Gala, and then fell asleep when I was sleepy, looking forward to the next day my mother waking me up to pay New Year's greetings to my grandmother and uncle.

Beilu quietly approached my ear while eating and asked, "Beimo, am I dreaming?" Never before had I eaten something so delicious, and there were so many people together. ”

After listening to Beilu's words, I suddenly remembered my previous self, and suddenly felt that my previous sadness was nothing, and suddenly I felt that I wanted to make Beilu so happy forever, and I didn't want him to always miss this feeling in the future.

I unceremoniously pinched his face and smiled evilly and said, "It hurts, so you're not dreaming at all, hurry up and eat, otherwise the chicken legs will be robbed by Beichu." ”

As soon as I finished speaking, I glanced at the dishes on the plate, and took the last chicken leg and put it in the bowl of Beilu with a thunderous momentum, and did not forget to rub the rice in his bowl twice, otherwise it is difficult to guarantee that Beichu will not come and take it away, she is a carnivore, almost no meat does not eat, and grabs meat when she sees it, so the meat on her body is not for nothing.

Bei Chu stared at me and Bei Lu's series of movements with wide eyes, was stunned, and shouted at me, "Bai Beimo, are you my sister, why are you elbowing out!" ”

She was amused by the funny appearance of holding a few pieces of shredded meat on the edge of the chicken leg in one hand, and she was even more angry when she saw us laughing so happily, but she said that there were so many of us, so she ate angrily, and slammed the rice, and the white rice on her mouth was even more funny.

"Do they have your last name? Have you ever thought about asking the two of them to change their last names? Yin Taoze's voice became smaller and smaller, as small as the voice of a mosquito, but my mother and I still heard it, but I didn't quite understand what he meant, because at that time, I thought that the name was destined from birth, that is, when you came to this world, your name was written on your body, which was given by the gods and could not be changed casually.

But after he said this, his mother's face suddenly turned red and her smile became unnatural.

When I grew up, I understood the meaning of that sentence, in this world, some love is vigorous, some love is subtle and cautious, no matter which one it is, it is always beautiful at the beginning.

After eating Chinese New Year's Eve, Yin Taoze gave the three of us pressure money, although Beichu still minded a little, but she still happily accepted it, and then before going to bed, she exploited part of me saying that she was going to play with Haoran tomorrow to buy firecrackers, and ordered me to go with them with Beilu, because they were going to buy mines to blow up other people's fish ponds.

However, because we were called to my grandmother's house by my mother as usual on the first day of the new year, it didn't go as she wanted, and I was glad that she should have forgotten about it, so I didn't have to worry about it anymore.

Unexpectedly, not long after we came back, Bei Chu took us to buy a bundle of mines and sneaked to the edge of Uncle Li's fish pond in the town.

We made an appointment that if someone came, Beilu and I would pretend to cough, but who knew that Bei Chu had completely forgotten the code we said when he played, and Beilu and I were coughing so much that her throat was almost hoarse, and she still didn't react, and shouted, "Oh, you two are so noisy, Beilu was also infected by Beimo's cold, and you kept coughing." ”

So, we were collectively arrested, and it was inevitable that there would be another war, and when Haoran's mother came to my house to retrieve Haoran, she didn't forget to count how he could get mixed with a bad boy like us, did you forget that Bei Chu had beaten her?

Beichu just wanted to have a seizure, and was glared back by my mother's eyes, so Beichu was particularly unconvinced, and especially hated my mother's always low-voiced appearance, so since she was a child, she was like a little adult for us, in her words, she was forced by her mother's temperament, and if you don't have strong parents, you have to be stronger, otherwise you will be bullied to death.

But this time Haoran refuted his mother very righteously, he broke free of his mother's palm, and said righteously, "Don't talk about my friend, what do you know, it's more refined to fight and make trouble." ”

The biggest special thing about Haoran's speech is that he can burst out one or two rhyming sentences at any time, like a propaganda slogan, which makes people speechless and have to admire, he didn't forget to wink at us tacitly after he finished speaking, but at that time, Beichu seemed to be attracted by other things and didn't pay attention to him, so he had to go home with his nagging mother.

After the New Year, I feel that spring is coming soon, and the willow trees in front of the door are a little greener, which also means that the winter vacation has passed, and I will go to school again.

On the day of Yin Taoze's accident, we didn't know about it, because he didn't let Beilu tell us, and he endured the pain and was treated in the hospital. But that day, Beilu always looked like he was in a state of disappointment, and he was rarely in such a state, but we didn't expect it to be because of his father.

Until the early morning of the next day, it was not Yin Taoze and Beilu who came to my house, but Yin Taoze's co-workers who came with Beilu, and my mother asked him curiously, why didn't Yin Taoze come over in person?

"Don't you know? He was hit in the foot by a stone yesterday, and now he is still lying in the hospital, and it is estimated that he will not get better for ten days and half a month. The co-worker looked at us in disbelief, as if we were a bunch of people who had been in seclusion for a long time.

I only heard a "bang", the rice spoon in my mother's hand fell to the ground, she slowly picked up the rice spoon and nervously asked Yin Taoze about the situation, maybe even she herself at that time only understood that she had unconsciously accumulated little by little in the days of the original day after day of deep talk, her heart had already contained Yin Taoze, it is impossible to ignore it, and it will be tied for a lifetime.

Didn't have time to eat, a group of us hurried to the hospital, Yin Taoze with bandages on his legs, I heard that it was a big stone on the side of the railroad when he was just rolled down by the stone and hit below the knee, the doctor said that fortunately the bone was not broken, it would not cause disability, but it needed to recuperate for a period of time, and it was inevitable that there would be some unnatural problems in the future.

After hearing the doctor's original words, my mother finally breathed a sigh of relief, but since that day she has not been tired for a day, and got up early in the morning to stew pork rib soup to send to Yin Taoze, because she wanted to minimize the root of the disease left in the future, she had to help Yin Taoze massage the injured calf every day, because she was worried that the hospital meals were not nutritious.

Therefore, Yin Taoze's three meals a day were cooked by herself and sent over, because she was worried that it would not taste good when it was cold, although it was already packed in a thermos box, she still walked fast every time, it took half an hour to travel, and she often arrived in the ward out of breath in only ten minutes, and most of the time she was still hungry and didn't have time to eat.

If I say that I have ever seen the most powerful woman in this world, the woman who respects love the most, it is probably my mother, her persistence day after day, her careful care of Yin Taoze without regrets, and her desperate persistence and even some extreme waiting for my father's everything, all make me ashamed of myself in the years to come.

But the most she said to me was probably that she hoped that you would not be as desperate as me in the future and treat love with all your might.

Yin Taoze sometimes loses his temper at my mother for no reason, but it didn't take long to beat his chest vigorously and regret it, once we came home from school and followed the North Road to see him, just saw him push my mother away and let her go home, he yelled desperately, "Don't you come again, do you hear?" I don't need your care, I don't need your sympathy! ”

"I'm not sympathetic to you, I really don't look down on you." My mother couldn't help crying bitterly, and that scene reminded me of when she beat me a few years ago, when she cried like this, her eyes were red and swollen, and she washed her face with tears but still didn't want to stop.

"Mom, are you stupid? Are you crazy? Bei Chu stepped forward and pulled the corner of her clothes menacingly, glared at her mother's eyes, and then turned his head to Yin Taoze and said unceremoniously, "You bad person, our whole family will not sympathize with you, even if my mother likes you, I won't let you be my father, hmph!" ”

Bei Chu wanted to pull my mother out, but she couldn't pull it, she had to leave by herself, I stood at the door with Bei Lu and didn't know whether to go or stay here, looking at my mother's appearance, I thought about it, walked forward and handed her a tissue, and comforted her in a low voice, "Mom, don't cry, I want to cry when you cry." ”

"I'm sorry, Bai Ping, I'm sorry for you", Yin Taoze clutched his hair tightly, as if his scalp was going to be torn off, his distorted expression startled us all, his pain was no less than my mother, he kept saying, "I don't deserve it, I don't deserve you, you should find a better family." ”

I didn't understand why Yin Taoze was so inferior, even if his salary was small, even if he didn't have money, but his inferiority complex and fear of the world were beyond the imagination of all of us, until that incident happened later, the mystery in my heart dissipated, and everything became so natural.

"As long as we don't have a pimple in our hearts, as long as I feel good, there is nothing unworthy." My mother said this firmly, her eyes were sincere, Yin Taoze's tears slowly dripped down, hugged her tightly, and the two of them didn't say a word but seemed to understand a lot.

It was only me and Bei Lu who looked at them blankly, and my mind suddenly remembered the scene where Bei Chu asked me if I would like to let Yin Taoze be my father, and I thought that Bei Chu was joking or playing some strange game.

Seeing this scene now, I suddenly felt a little scared, because the word dad was so foreign to my life that I didn't even know what he meant and what it would bring.

But now looking at this intimate picture, I suddenly believe it, I suddenly thought that there will be more men in the family in the future, will I call this person dad in the future? I wasn't ready, I hadn't learned how to call daddy, and I never thought about what it would be like to have a dad like all kids in my life.

"If your dad becomes my dad, are you my brother?" On the way back, I asked Beilu nervously, and practiced calling my brother in my heart, but Beilu said that it didn't matter, even if his father became my father, I could call him by his name like now, but I didn't think that I would change my name, just like I didn't think that I would have the same surname as Beilu, I would have the same two words in Beilu's name, but I was not a brother or sister.

After Yin Taoze was discharged from the hospital, he returned to work on the railway, and the railway was also built for a long time, and it was about to be repaired to the end of the town, as if it was about to arrive.

I haven't been to see the railroad since that trip, because I thought the north road would not leave again, because I thought they would be reluctant to leave, so I gradually forgot the end of the railway, and forgot that they said that if the railroad was repaired, they would follow the railway.

But I was destined to grow up here, to fill my wings here, until one day I could fly and go further.

The night before they left, I had a dream, as if I could foresee them leaving, in the dream North Road carried his schoolbag, I handed him the bag as usual, but he walked farther and farther, he stretched out his hand but never received the schoolbag in my hand.

"North Road, where are you going?" I opened my mouth and screamed, but strangely enough, I couldn't hear a sound in my dream.

On the other side, Beilu turned his head to look at me, but he was dazed, his mouth moved, but there was no sound.

"What do you say? I can't hear you! "It turns out that this is the voice of the heart, no wonder I can't hear it.

Seeing that I was about to get him but went away, I had to chase desperately, and then I couldn't run and I stopped, but in the blink of an eye, the north road was gone, and after a while, it appeared in front of me and smiled at me, but I chased again and again and still couldn't catch up, and after a long time, Beichu and Haoran also came out, but they said they didn't see the north road, they said they were going to eat and pulled me to run back.

I woke up from a nightmare, glad it was just a dream, but we waited for a long time that morning, and they still didn't come.

The three of us hurried to the north road, but the house was empty, unprecedentedly tidy, without any life, as if no one had ever lived here.

It seems that this place has been like this from beginning to end, there are no stories, no wind, no sunshine, no boys, no men, no North Road, and no Yin Taoze, only dark floors and rats scurrying around, hurriedly moving out of this place without a little food.

There was also a homework sheet on the table, I clearly remember that it was my exercise book for Beilu, it was the homework paper that he taught me to write every day after school, his square handwriting was turbulent in the breeze, and it was written what I would do with Beimo in the future, everything was said by me casually, but he remembered it so clearly, and only he would treat every word of mine as a treasure.

At the end of the north, you must live a happy life, I'm leaving, and when I grow up, I'll come back and take the train with you to a far place, okay?

At the beginning of the North Dynasty, you don't always fight, don't always bully the North Beginning, don't let yourself get hurt, you have to study hard.

Haoran, you are my best brother, I only have you as a brother, I will definitely remember you.

The crumpled tears on the paper seemed to tell us how reluctant North Road was to us, how much he loved us, and I could imagine North Road's reluctance as he was dragged out the door by his father.

He must not make a big noise, he must be so silent, his brows are furrowed, and he grabs the doorknob, even if his hands are so red that he wears out the skin, he will not let go, but why is he still leaving?

The three of us stared blankly at everything in front of us, as if we were still dreaming, and before we could react, everything was empty, and we stood in the room crying.

But the north road has probably gone far, otherwise how could he not hear our earth-shattering cries, otherwise how could he hold back his tears and not run back, otherwise how could he be willing to give up so much of what he told me to grow up together bit by bit and go away alone?

Mom didn't cry like we did when she arrived, but her eyes were empty and confused, and it wasn't until the landlord handed her a letter that she began to shed tears, drop by drop on the letterhead, and it hurt on her heart, and she couldn't hear what was being said in her mouth.

Isn't it destined that I'm not a lucky girl enough to have such a good friend on the North Road? I said, all of this doesn't seem to fit the tone of my childhood, how can it last long?

It's just that you have had such a good time, how can you be hard-hearted and not fight, cry or make trouble when you pass away?

You say she is in the south, but you go north.

I finally heard the fragments of my mother's mouth.