"I could have endured the darkness if I hadn't seen the sun. But the sun has made my desolation a renewed desolation. – Emily Dickinson"

Qiu Tian left me forever.

Pretty suddenly, isn't it?

Without warning, I lost my Uncle Qiu and my Black Knight. I lost the person who called me "little girl", and I lost the person who held me in the palm of his hand. Lost, my bridegroom.

It's like a movie that has just been played at the beginning, with no intermediate plot, and it directly fast-forwards to the tragic ending, and suddenly sends a handful of suffocating sadness.

May 14 was the darkest day of my life.

At 8:10 a.m., I finished a language class.

I woke up a little panicked this morning, panic for no reason.

After returning to the office, Mr. Zhao from the same group immediately came to my side and delivered his mobile phone to me, "Mr. He, have you seen this news?" ”

I looked down at the screen.

A leak occurred at a large chemical plant in City D, and the fire was fierce, and the casualties are currently unknown.

A chill welled up from his heart and spread to his fingertips.

Teacher Zhao muttered unintentionally: "Your boss lady will be fine." ”

My master happened to pass by, and when he heard this, he immediately raised his foot and kicked her ass, "What nonsense, what can it be?!" ”

Teacher Zhao looked at me cautiously, "I'm sorry Teacher He, I didn't mean to say that. ”

I know that she has no ill intentions, she is just straightforward.

"It's okay." I forced a smile, but the corners of my mouth were so heavy that I couldn't lift it.

Teacher Zhao returned to her desk in a daze, regretting the unlucky words she blurted out.

I sat at my desk, looking at the dense Chinese characters on the lesson plan, and my mind was a mess.

It's going to be fine, Uncle Qiu is a firefighter who has experienced strong winds and waves, and he will definitely be fine.

In a word, it is a prophecy.

。

At 3:45 p.m., I received a call to the police. Telephone number of the Bureau.

I immediately rushed out of the office and overturned my chair. I stumbled downstairs, and when I reached the last floor, my feet went limp and I fell down the stairs, and my ankles and thighs cut through a large piece of skin, and my heart hurt.

I didn't have time to care so much, so I dragged my bleeding leg into the car, drove as fast as I could, and went to the police. Bureau drove away.

Along the way, the car seemed to become a vacuum, I couldn't hear any sound, I just gritted my teeth, and kept changing lanes, accelerating, and overtaking.

Wait until I get to the police. At the time of the bureau, Qiu Tian's parents had arrived, and his mother was hugging his father and crying. The bureau was filled with her hoarse cries. Next to her, there was a woman of about fifty years of age who I didn't know, sitting in a chair crying and dying, and the policewoman beside her kept comforting her. Next to him, there were three people in uniform, with solemn faces, looking like Qiu Tian's leader.

Alarm. The atmosphere in the bureau was so oppressive that it was suffocating.

I dragged my heavy legs towards Qiu Tian's parents, and before I could get to them, someone behind me called out to me, "Sister-in-law! ”

I turned around, it was the team member I had seen on the farm on the outskirts of the city, his eyes were red, his face was full of tears and snot, and his voice was extremely dry and hoarse, "Sister-in-law, captain he ......"

"I know, don't cry yet, you tell me what's going on." I clenched my hands and dug my nails into my flesh, forcing myself to stay awake.

He cried breathlessly, choked up, and said, "The captain died to save power." Daquan went in the wrong direction in the fire, and the captain called him back, but he didn't hear it, and he was still walking in the direction of the pile of raw materials. The captain went after him, and as soon as he caught up with him, the chemical raw material exploded, and they ......" Before he finished speaking, he couldn't stop crying.

I raised my hand to wipe the tears from his face and said softly, "Is the fire under control?" ”

He nodded.

I smiled wryly and said, "That's good, that's good." ”

The fire was under control, and Qiu Tian didn't have to worry anymore.

A policeman. Cha walked up to me, looked at the thing in his hand, looked at my face again, and then stretched out his palm in front of me, "You are Squadron Leader Qiu's lover, this was found in him, and we think we should hand it over to you." ”

It was the necklace I gave him, but I don't know when, he hung a round silver piece in the middle of the annular hole of the jade pendant, with my picture on it.

In that picture, I was asleep, unguarded, and peaceful. From the background, it should be in that B&B in Austria. I don't know when he took this picture.

I took the necklace and put it directly around my neck, and I seemed to be able to feel the residual warmth left by Qiu Tian.

That policeman. Cha pointed to my leg, "Do you want to deal with it?" We have a medical kit here. ”

I shook my head and turned to walk over to his parents. When his mother saw me, she immediately hugged me tightly, and her tears ran down her cheeks and into my collar.

I lifted my hand and stroked her back, slowly soothing. I didn't say a word, and any words of comfort were too pale at this moment.

Qiu Tian's father raised his hand to wipe away his tears and said in a low voice: "He is a hero." ”

Yes, Qiu Tian is a hero.

There is no end for heroes, Qiu Tian has given everything for the cause he loves, dedicating himself to the country and the people, this is what he has always longed for and dedicated, he has done it, there is nothing to cry about.

But why does my heart hurt so much?

I don't remember how I got home that day, and my mind was full of what Captain Qiu Tian had said to me before leaving.

"I went to inspect the team that day, Qiu Tian greeted me from afar, and ran over to tell me that his proposal was successful, and that was the first time I saw him happy like that, like a child, show me your photos."

"He also took the initiative to give up the current good treatment in the team and asked me to resign. I asked him if he didn't want a future, and he said that he only wanted you, that he would marry you, have a pair of dragon and phoenix twins with you, and take you to the lake in Austria for breakfast. ”

……。

The fire immediately caused a sensation in the city, and people also knew that a firefighter named Qiu Tian died in the fire. Everyone who knew me comforted me, and I thanked them all.

Life goes on.

No matter how painful you are, life won't stop for you.

So, struggle to get up, pat the dust off your body, wipe the tears from your face, and keep walking.

Even if you are unwilling, wronged, and sad, you must pretend to be strong and continue the unfinished road.

On May 20th, the West Bund restaurant called me. The waiter said it was past the booked time and asked me if I would still come.

I whispered, "No." ”

The waiter told me that the reservation fee would not be refunded, and I didn't say anything and hung up the phone silently.

。

The countdown to the college entrance examination is coming to an end, and the three years of high school have entered the final stage, and the anxiety in the class has declined a lot, and everyone has begun to look forward to the end of the college entrance examination, and began to discuss which university to apply for, where to travel, and what major to choose. At the same time, the reluctance and sadness of parting are also quietly filled with the last time.

It's all the same.

The ginkgo biloba in the school is still lush and verdant, the magnolia tree in front of the school building has reached the short flowering period of the year, the lawn after the workers have been mowed is still verdant, the ochre-red plastic track is full of teenagers running, and if you go to the grove in the backyard of the school, you may find a few young couples with secret trysts.

All my bad moods were quietly buried in the middle of the summer, never mentioned.

On June 7th, it was a good day, and the sky was like a washed blue.

I wore a cheongsam to send the students into the examination room and wished them every success.

Before every exam, students would come and touch my hand to give themselves a sense of what they must do for the exam.

After the last English test, I stood at the entrance of the examination room with 33 sunflowers in my hand and gave my students a ray of sunshine.

I can still vividly remember their smiling faces as bright as sunflowers.

This is their high-spirited eighteen years old.

……。

On June 23, you can check the results of the college entrance examination.

There are abnormal performances, and there are also dark horses.

And I had a serious illness after the college entrance examination, like a deflated balloon, weak and weak.

In mid-July, the admission results of the students came out one after another.

The two top students in the class were admitted to Tsinghua University, which made me, the head teacher, an instant hit, and became a well-known youth class teacher in D City.

Class Jiang Yiqing is the biggest dark horse, usually stable in the class of more than a dozen, but in the college entrance examination, he jumped up, ranked fourth in the class, and was admitted to a very good double first-class university.

Hu Xuan's performance was very stable, and she went to the university she had wanted for a long time.

Geng Rui failed the college entrance examination and only went to the last 211 university.

Liu Ziqi and Sun Qi were both admitted to the second book of the first paragraph and lived up to their efforts.

As for me, I refused the invitation of the director of the Academic Affairs Office, and instead of being a class teacher, I went down to work as a teacher in the first year of high school.

I'm getting used to living alone, and living alone seems to have become my simple routine.

Alone in the night. If I don't want to sleep, I'll drink a cup of hand-ground coffee and kill a long night with a weird old movie or an obscure foreign literature. If I want to sleep but can't, I light a scented candle and listen to the white noise to empty myself and try to fall asleep.

Outside the window, it is still moonlight and clear.

I found that Qiu Tian and I said the most often were not "I love you", but "wait for me".

But now, he's waiting for me.

I have a good memory, I remember everything about him clearly. I remember his favorite dishes, his favorite Minions, his smoking posture... These memories remained intact in my mind, without a moment's distortion.

But sometimes I will be confused, when I am thirsty from reading, I will call his name and ask him to pour me a glass of water, when I get off work, I will pick up my mobile phone and dial his number in a coherent manner, wanting to ask him if he has come to pick me up, I will subconsciously raise my hand to the pillow in countless late nights, looking for the man who has given me countless warmth.

Qiu God, you wait for me. I'm going to be a thief of time in my next life, and I'm going to steal enough time to find you and continue our story.

Dusk is the most addictive moment, all the thoughts and apologies or unwillingness and pain, all reflect the hazy sunset is infinitely magnified. I often look into the distance through the window in the twilight, like an old man who has washed away the lead and is about to return to chaos, reminiscing about our past.

I miss Qiu Tian's unique crisp tobacco aroma, but unfortunately I don't know what kind of cigarette he smokes. I started smoking, almost pathologically trying many different tobaccos, but I got addicted to them all and couldn't find the taste that haunted me.

Every day, I would walk from beginning to end and back again along the path at the side entrance of the school, just to meet that familiar figure.

But I couldn't wait for the guy who would run towards me with a sugar gourd.

。 ——Final ——。