Faith deceives,

But it has one great benefit:

It adds a kind of god to a person's face...

---Tagore

"Fang, let's come back from a long vacation this time, I haven't been home for a long time." Mom's voice on the phone was somehow unfamiliar.

"Okay, I got it." I replied impatiently as I removed my makeup that the lady had been very loud and chattering like most mothers, so I chose to end the conversation succinctly and quickly.

On the day I went home, thanks to the continuous heavy rain in the past few days, the weather was really good, the sky was blue, the trees were green, for the modern city with developed industry, this scene is not common, we live in the haze and see the haze as normal. Unless there is a heavy rain that cleanses the sky and the earth, and washes away the dirt from every leaf of the roadside street trees, it is a luxury for this small town to see the blue sky as it is.

Dad drove to pick you up, there was a chat on the road, I was willing to tell him anything, my desire to express myself in front of Dad is always endless, and it is said that Dad is the only one who guards you in the name of love, but does not ask for anything in return.

When I got home, I saw the noisy lady leaning against the door frame waiting for me, as if she had a new hairstyle, wearing a light coffee-colored trench coat, a pink floral chiffon shirt inside, and black wide-legged pants underneath, with a look revealing six points of numbness, three parts of sadness, and one part of joy. This scene reminds me of Van Gogh's "Reaper in the Rye", which is obviously bright colors, but expresses death. This woman is simple-minded, lives a simple life, and is never good at hiding her emotions.

"Why did she get a new hairstyle?" I asked my dad tentatively.

"Leave her alone, psycho!" Dad replied angrily.

In the past few days when I went home, this lady, who has always been noisy, was unusually quiet, and I vaguely felt something, I didn't ask, with her character, if something absolutely can't be held, she will definitely tell me herself. Sure enough, it didn't take long for me to hear the answer, and with a crying voice, I was out of breath and sobbing to tell me the answer.

"Your dad cheated on you...... The day I received the woman's text message...... I was attending my uncle's funeral. How can they be so cruel? "Her tears burst down the embankment, and this woman, my mother, has been living happily because of her simple mind. It was the first time I saw her so sad, and this sadness continued, pretending to be okay in front of outsiders and in front of her family.

"So what are you going to do? Want a divorce? I asked.

"I don't get divorced, when I was with him, we started from scratch, I don't know how much hardship we suffered, and now I finally survived to this day, so I don't want to give it all to others." She was furious, "Your dad won't let me tell you, so you pretend you don't know." ”

"How to pretend? This news was also a bolt from the blue for me. ”

"We used to have love ......," she sighed.

I didn't obey, I can't pretend not to know, I agree that love is a matter of two people, if it's a good get-together, I can happily wish you all happiness, but the family atmosphere is very bad, I am very uncomfortable in the middle, so I decided to negotiate with my father.

"I'm going to talk to you." I plucked up the courage to say it to him, but before I could finish my sentence, his face turned dark, and he grabbed the bottle he had at hand and threw it in our direction. I never knew how a person could face his family so fiercely after doing something wrong, and then I suddenly understood that from the moment a person no longer intends to protect you, you are no longer family in his heart.

"Mom, you go upstairs first, I'll talk to him." Seeing my father, who was menacing and about to rush over to kill him, I blocked my mother and asked her to go.

"I don't! I want to listen, whatever you talk about, I'm here too, I'm going to listen too. Let him beat me to death, I'm not afraid! She looked at death as if she were at home. Knowing that she was here, Dad couldn't stabilize his emotions, so I pushed her out, closed the door, and listened to her footsteps go away before I started a conversation.

"I understand you, I've read some books, I can understand people's emotions, no matter how much she hates it, she's my mother!" I hugged my dad and stabilized his mood.

"If you really hate my mom that much, I'll take her away, I'll take her to the school, and you'll be separated for a while." Rather than watch them torment each other, I'd rather them be separated.

"Where are you going? Your mom has to go to work, you have to go to school. “

"Can you get along?"

"She's making such a fuss every day, I can't sleep well, I'm also annoyed, I admit that I did something wrong, but if she makes such a fuss, I guess I can't bear it."

"I'll do her work, do you love that woman?"

"No, even if I can't get along with your mother, I won't marry her."

"Okay, that'll do."

After calming my mother, I lay in bed and thought, why did a marriage become the way it is? Both of them also have problems, my mom, who likes to buy clothes, and what is popular among young people lately, she probably knows better than me. However, she has several cabinets of clothes, but she still hasn't formed her own style, just like she has lived most of her life and still doesn't know who she is. There is no clear style, always following the trend, but drowning in the trend. Women are prone to losing themselves in marriage, is this a compromise between women and society? I don't know, I can't control my own life.

The blow to me from this incident may not be the fact of the derailment itself, I am not a party, I have no right to speak, but the word father used to mean a lot to me. On my way of growing up, my father gave more than my mother, from toddler walking to study counseling, from adolescent psychological counseling to giving me life advice, he always said the right thing at the right time, he was the person I always looked up to, this time, he fell off the altar, and the disqualification of my father's role brought me the collapse of the whole faith.