I told them all to the bottle, and I walked those roads many times by myself, and I didn't lose any of them, and I put them in a big box. And you, I'm unlikely to forget, I put you in these love songs, in my sleepless nights, how do I like you so much... Why do you miss you so much...... But I have to control myself, don't go crazy looking for you......

This is a long and nonsense story, a garbage mixed up among the many heroes of the world, who is also the world's garbage......

Li Qu and Shang Yao are in the same class in junior high school. On the day of the class, the head teacher asked Li Qu to sit in the penultimate row, and Shang Yao to sit in the first row.

Li Qu has a bad problem, he likes to sleep in class. In the first week of school, there were countless penalty stands. The teacher said, if you can take the top 60 in the school, I will let you sit in the first row, sleep every day, and be a model for the students in the back.

A month later, Li Qu was 55 people, he kicked open the door of the head teacher's office with the seating chart, and said word by word, I want to sit here.

Li Qu got his wish and sat next to Shang Yao. He really didn't understand, the students in the first row were all good students, except for Shang Yao, Shang Yao studied very badly, but he was very serious. Even if you know it's wrong, you have to finish it.

Li Qu said, are you stupid?

She replied and asked you to take care of it.

I think you're stupid.

Whenever this sentence came out, Shang Yao would give Li Qu a kick. After a long time, she found that Li Qu doesn't beat women. The discovery that shocked the world was undoubtedly worse for Li Qu. His right arm was covered with deep and shallow pits pierced by a gel pen. In Shang Yao's opinion, Li Qu will not hurt, Li Qu will only have a hippie smile, like a heartless fool. This is what Shang Yao wrote on a piece of paper, Li Qu in her eyes.

Shang Yao gave Li Qu a nickname, called Li Shimin. Because Li Qu never wrote his name on the volume, he only wrote an anonymous name. Shang Yao added a Li to the back, and read it the other way around, becoming a Li family. It's been a long time since I called these three words, so long that I forgot how long...... Until Li Qu fell in love with Shang Yao.

Shang Yao knew about this from the mouth of a living Lei Feng.

Of all the ways to refuse, Shang Yao chose the most ruthless one. The two people have the closest distance, the most unfamiliar feeling, don't speak, don't communicate, even if their eyes collide, they have to frown. As if to say, what do you think, I might like you?

Contempt...... Disdain...... Refuse...... This is all the meaning that Li Qu can read from this look.

That year, "A Few Miles Away" was playing in the headphones, and the 17-year-old boy cried so much that he threw the MP3 on the ground and asked, why.

Maybe he should stay a few miles from her.

In the three exams, Li Qu won the third from the bottom, and the head teacher sent him back to the corner. But Li Qu still couldn't help but look at her secretly. At that time, Li Qu's home was thirteen stops away from the school, Shang Yao was at the ninth stop, he was one stop away, and he walked the remaining three stops alone. Every night, Li Qu stepped on the fallen leaves, counted the stars, and occasionally walked the three stops with beer cans.

There was a whole winter song on the bus, and there was only one song, which was Lin Youjia's cover of "Fulfillment"

Li Qu listened to it for a whole winter. One bus driver may remember that a few years ago, there was a teenager who was waiting for the traffic light to be in the middle of the day, crying silently.

They've actually been together, like they've never been together......

At the end of the year, she said, I'm sorry to make you sad for so long. Let's be in this together.

I haven't said a word for a year, and the first thing I said was, let's be together.

Li Qu didn't think about it, he was happy to fly, he said, okay.

I don't know if this is a confession, but it's still incomprehensible. I don't know if this is a first love, if holding hands is the first love, then Li Qu doesn't have it. If two people are in love when they are very close together, then Li Qu does not.

Because... They never held hands... I've never been intimate... Even, Li Qu had never breathed the air within two steps of Shang Yao. Her deliberate indifference to him tormented Li Qu's last longing and sense of security.

All that remains is a flash in the pan surprises and intensified torture......

After that night, Li Qu wrote a "9" in his diary, he didn't know if this was the first day, he wanted to write a "9" every day in the future. People always seem to have to do something, so that when the relationship breaks down, they can fool themselves into grasping something......

But Li Qu didn't, all he had was a fantasy of his own 9.

Let's be in this together

Good

Except for this sentence, there is nothing. She still avoided Li Qu like that, occasionally giving Li Qu a look that made Li Qu crazy. Li Qu didn't know what she meant. He hadn't spoken for so long that he seemed to have forgotten how to talk to her as happily as he had before. Such torture, he suffered from depression.

He said, let's break up.

She said, why? We finally got together

He said, not easy? It seems that it's not easy for me to be alone, why don't you like me to lie to me, I thought you saved me, but I didn't expect that it was you who asked for half my life.

With that, he deleted her. I can still see it every day when I look up, but I feel like a stranger.

The high school entrance examination is coming, and there are many factors, Li Qu is very bad in the exam, and she is also very bad. According to normal development, Li Qu should be in the same high school as her. But Li Qu didn't, he went to another city.

I still miss her, but Citaloprin's still hasn't stopped.

In the winter of 18, he stood in front of the stop sign where Shang Yao got off the bus in the past and smoked, and on the opposite side of the traffic, it was Shang Yao. She watched as he finished half a pack of cigarettes. Turn and leave.

She didn't say anything two years ago, and she still hasn't said anything two years later. Li Qu thought that he could forget about escaping, but he didn't expect it to become more and more profound.

He asked himself if this was his first love, and he didn't know, but on the top of an empty mountain, he was drunk.

I thought to myself, I really like you. That summer was called "That's Your Life After Leaving Beijing"

In the summer of 19, Li Qu wore a white shirt and jeans. A person went to Shang Yao's high school and didn't find her. Classmates said that just five minutes ago, she was gone.

There was a photo of Shang Yao posted on the outside of the classroom, and Li Qu tore it off and never came to this place again.

On the way back, he walked thirteen stops again, and at each stop sign, he bought a bottle of wine, drank a total of thirteen bottles, and finally collapsed in the square.

That crazy summer is called "Talking about Hearts".

In the end, Li Qu is me, and I am Li Qu, because I am gone......

It is not until today that I dare to say that Lao Tzu has forgotten you. I also have to admit that if I miss it, I miss it, just hope, don't love, please don't hurt......

Well, the story is gone. The people in the story are gone, but the story is still there.

The storyteller flicks his cigarette ash, pats his trousers, and always goes to the next place......

Good night.