In real life, when you get along with people, you must treat people with sincerity, kindness, kindness, and politeness. No matter whether you are a teacher or a friend, or a superior or a subordinate, you must always get along with honesty. That is, what the ancient philosophers said, "sincerity can be heavenly, sincerity can be touching", and "give people honesty, although distant but also intimate; Hypocrisy, intimate and distant".

People's character is always uneven, and the way people are treated; It should also be adapted to the person.

When you encounter a person who has been defrauded, you will move him with sincerity; When you encounter a cruel person, you will edify him with kindness; When you meet an insatiable person, give him shame; When you meet someone who pours evil and selfishness, inspire him with benevolence and righteousness. In this way, the whole world is under my cultivation.

Attach softness to the resolute, and the meek revitalizes his strength, and the cowardly inspires him to be strong. The resentful dissolve, the angry calm him, the fearful calm him, the fearful man soften him, the close man looks at him, the alienated man closes to him, the dangerous man rescues him, the needy man supports him, the one who fights to dismiss him, the indolent one urges him, the virtuous man establishes him, the lustful expel him, the poor man exalts him, the poor man gives him alms, and the afflicted man gives to him, so that no one disobeys. "Repaying grievances with virtue" is people's verbal Shan. If people repay grievances with grievances, they will repay grievances and there will be no end to them. Tao Jue said: "Whoever treats others must be his own decision, and must not be for the sake of others. If others treat me poorly, I will treat him poorly; When others neglect me, I neglect him; Even if others slander me, I slander him, and this is the same knowledge as him. It is better if he is thin and I am thick, if he is arrogant, I will be respectful, and if he slanders, I will praise me. In this way, people can be reversed, and not reversed. ”

It is recorded in the "History of the Song Dynasty" that Wang Dan often recommended Kou Zhun, and Kou Zhun said Wang Dan's mistakes several times, and the real words told him, and Wang Dan praised Kou Zhun as a loyal minister. After a few times, Kou Zhun also sighed to himself. This is an example of repaying grievances with virtue.

When dealing with people, saints can often find innocence in sin, innocence in faults, and forgiveness in the unforgivable. Find forgiveness in the unforgivable. To fulfill his loyalty, to accommodate his graces, to tolerate small mistakes, and to make him influenced without resentment, so that he can change his ways and follow the good, this is the kind of heart, the thing of virtue.

Therefore, Li Xichun said: "The fault of attacking people should not be too severe, but consider whether he can accept it; To educate a person to be good, we must not ask too much of it, but enable him to do it. Praise a man's goodness should be based on his deeds. His heart should not be demanded; Negligence of the attacker. You should forgive his heart, and you should not be stuck in his bad deeds. "It's all about leaving room for it.

Regarding the method of dealing with people, some people think that "it is easy to treat a gentleman, but it is difficult to treat a villain." It is even more difficult to treat talented villains, and it is quite difficult to treat meritorious villains", so it has to be dealt with leniently and generously. This is how we treat gentlemen, and even more so when we treat villains. Whatever you do to anyone, leave room for him to have compassion. Buddhism says, "Put down the butcher's knife and become a Buddha on the ground", and some people will become villains in the morning and become gentlemen in the evening.

Lu Kun once said: "When a person has no scruples, the respect of the monarch and father cannot make him serious; The terrible torture could not make him afraid; A thousand words could not make him understand. At this point, even the saints are helpless. The saint knew that he was like this, and every time he would save his face and sympathize with his private feelings, so as not to cause him to be careless. ”