People's hearts are growing

Napoleon's wife, Josephine, was a former viscountess of Beauarne, who had always been watery and lived a dissolute life. While Napoleon was fighting bloody battles in Italy and Egypt, she had an affair with a lieutenant named Charles and had no loyalty to Napoleon. She had thought that Napoleon would die in the desert, and that she no longer waited for him to return, but had to arrange the aftermath as if there was no Napoleon.

Josephine was stunned when the news reached Paris in October 1799 that Napoleon had returned to France from Egypt and had been warmly welcomed by the people. Napoleon became the most recognizable figure in Europe, the savior of France, and his future was immeasurable. She deceived Napoleon and wanted to abandon him, at which point she regretted it.

So she traveled long distances in a carriage to meet Napoleon in Lyon, in the south of France. She wanted to see Napoleon before he met his family, and took advantage of his excitement to deceive him so that her ugliness would not be exposed.

She managed to reach Lyon, but Napoleon had already gone the other way and joined his family. Napoleon had heard of his wife's infidelity, but he didn't believe it, and when he was convinced that Josephine had been unfaithful to him, he became furious and decided to divorce her.

Josephine knew that something was wrong, and hurried back to Paris day and night.

Napoleon instructed his servants not to let her enter the house. She barely entered the door, only to feel her heart pounding, and she didn't know how to cope with the scene of meeting her husband. After a few moments, she calmed down and decided to be brave enough to go to her husband.

Josephine came to Napoleon's bedroom door, knocked lightly, and did not answer. Turn the doorknob and to no avail.

She knocked on the door again and called out softly and mournfully, which Napoleon ignored.

She cried loudly, short **, and Napoleon was indifferent.

She cried, banged on the door with her hands, begged him for forgiveness, admitted that she had made a mistake by being rash and naïve, and reminded them of their previous vows...... Said that if he could not forgive, she would only die. Still can't beat Napoleon.

Josephine cried late into the night and stopped crying, when she suddenly thought of the children, and her eyes lit up with hope.

She knew that Napoleon loved her two children, Audans and Eugène, and especially Eugène, and that this was a good way to win Napoleon's heart. If the children begged him, he might change his mind.

The children came, innocently and clumsily, begging: "Don't abandon our mother, she will die!" …… And us, what do we do? ……

People's hearts are made of flesh, and Josephine's trick finally succeeded. Napoleon suspected that Josephine had betrayed him, but her cries flooded his mind with fond memories of their time in love. The cries of O'Adams and Eugène broke through the defenses he had set up in his heart, and he burst into tears.

The door opened, and Napoleon and Josephine were reconciled. Later, when Napoleon ascended the throne, Josephine became empress, and it was glorious.

Mobilizing the method of tears, mourning for people, and moving them with affection, this kind of seeking people is innumerable in ancient and modern times, both at home and abroad.

During the reign of Song Dazong, Cao Hanguo was punished to Ruzhou. Cao Han thought hard about the strategy of returning to Beijing. One day, the palace sent an envoy to Ruzhou to do business, and Cao Han was willing to let go of this opportunity. He managed to see the messenger and said to him with tears in his eyes:

"My sins are so serious, even death can't be redeemed, I really don't know how to repay the emperor's grace of not killing, now I can only seriously repent here, and I will definitely swear to serve the court if I have the opportunity in the future." It's just that I'm here to take a sins, my family is too populous, and I can't live without food, I have a few clothes here, please help me mortgage 10,000 yuan and give it to my family in exchange for some food, so that the family can live for the time being. ”

When it comes to sadness, I can't stop crying.

The envoy returned to the palace and truthfully reported to Song Taizong. Taizong took the burden and opened it, and it turned out to be a painting, entitled "Going Down to the South of the Yangtze River", which depicted the scene of Cao Han attacking the Southern Tang Dynasty at the behest of Song Taizu.

When Taizong saw this picture and remembered Cao Han's exploits back then, he felt very sad, and his pity arose spontaneously, and he decided to recall Cao Han back to the capital. Cao Han's touching tactics worked.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and they suddenly started crying? This is your misfortune. Think about it, has there ever been something like this before? What do you do when you have an endless argument with your husband, wife, or children about something, and you occupy emotion, reason, and law, and all the facts are completely biased in your favor, leaving the other party with no room for excuse, and the other party suddenly bursts into tears and begs for your forgiveness? You think, "Well, you don't have anything to say at this point, just let me do it!" ”

Come on, most people will say, "Oh, I'm sorry, don't cry, I didn't mean to, maybe I'm angry." He even went further: "Don't cry, I promise you, you can do what you want." Take the money on the table and buy something yourself! ”

It's not just women's tears, men's tears are sometimes more useful than women's. This is because most people believe that "men don't flick when they have tears." "If you start crying, it will definitely make the people present throw away their armor and run away.

A company once spent a year firing a tall, burly foreman. Trying to fire someone who worked hard isn't as simple as saying, "You're fired."

Usually the company will arrange a meeting with the staff through the manager of the HR department to explain the company's position and introduce some possible options for other jobs. Employees often find their own development after receiving the suggestion, and even save the company a severance pay.

Here's how it happened: In the past 12 months, the HR manager had met with the foreman four times. And each time, before entering the topic, the foreman could not stop crying. He may have a talent for acting, but it has worked out to great effect for this personnel manager. Every time the manager said to the company, "If you have to fire him, you can say it yourself, I can't do it." And just like that, the foreman continued to do that company.

Some politicians also often use tears to buy people's hearts.

On one occasion when the Japanese Diet was discussing political ethics, Prime Minister Nakasone met with Kakuei in order to seek his opinion. During the conversation, former Prime Minister Tanaka lamented, "I heard my grandson say that his classmates at school laughed at him, so he didn't want to go to school." I thought to myself, I was sad that my grandfather's mistake was borne by my grandson. After that, I burst into tears.

Prime Minister Nakasone burst into tears when he saw this, and immediately told Tanaka, "We must establish norms between politics and ethics." ”

Sensitive people believe that Prime Minister Nakasone was deceived by Tanaka's tears.

Most people are emotional creatures, and as long as you can win sympathy, you can achieve what you want.

In an election for members of the Diet in Japan, there was a candidate of the Japanese-Chinese faction who was still elected because he was in a disadvantageous position due to the shadow of Tanaka's image. He won the sympathy of the majority of the people by taking a low posture such as "I am overwhelmed by the heavy cross of the Tanaka Incident" and tearing his wife, who also stood on the street and cried to passers-by.

Crying or complaining tactics can easily shake the feelings of others.

Sue and beg for help, just crying is useless

When people's legitimate rights and interests are infringed upon and they are unable to swallow their anger, they need to appeal to the relevant departments or ask the superior leaders to deal with it. This is also one of the situations of asking for help, which is very common in real life. In such cases, a single piece of paper or a few letters is often not enough. Seekers sometimes have to come to the door again and again, petition, and make oral complaints, because this kind of face-to-face communication can play a role that pleadings cannot.

However, many seekers have not been able to resolve the problem despite repeated complaints. Here, of course, there are many reasons, but the lack of strategy for filing a complaint may not be an important factor.

Some people say that women are stronger than men, because women's eyes turn red when they speak, and tears involuntarily flow down.

There is some truth to this. However, in fact, most of the complainants are angry and depressed for a long time, and once they have the opportunity to speak, they are always uncontrollable and excited, often emotionally resentful, and their words are fierce, giving people the feeling that they are not a victim of the weak, but an aggressive and strong person.

A victim who was bullied was very impulsive when he complained to a certain leader, and he spoke wild words and foul language, which made the leader very disgusted, so the problem was not solved for a long time. Later, this person was desperate, miserable, and almost wanted to kill himself, but it aroused the sympathy and attention of this leader.

Of course, this is not to say that everyone who complains has to put on a pitiful look and shed a few tears. Rather, when the complainant asks for help, he should try to arouse the listener's sympathy, so that the listener will first get close to you emotionally and resonate. This lays the foundation for the solution of your problem, the human heart is long, as long as you truthfully state the situation of the victim and the pain in your heart, the handler will be moved.

Inspire accountability

Compassion can promote understanding of the victim in those in power, but it does not mean that there is an immediate determination to deal with it. Because the handler has to consider many situations, sometimes he is hesitant, and even has the attitude that more is better than less, and does not want to ask. At this point, the complainant has to try to arouse the sense of responsibility of the handler, so that the handler knows that this is a matter within his scope of responsibility, that he has the responsibility to deal with the matter, and that he can handle the matter well.

There is a teacher who has outstanding achievements in teaching and scientific research, and all the conditions are in place, but the title is not always evaluated, because he has a bad relationship with the school leaders.

This gentleman reported to the superior supervisor. After hearing this, the leader excused himself and said: "It's your school's problem if you can't get an evaluation, and if the school doesn't report it, what can I do?" ”

This gentleman was mentally prepared, and immediately said, "If the school can solve it, I won't come to trouble you." I am reflecting step by step according to the program. You are a superior and you are in charge of this work, and if there is a problem in this area, you have the right to ask. If you don't deal with it in time and there is more annoyance, it will be too late. I think if you are willing to ask, they will listen to your opinions. ”

The words worked, and the leader quickly changed his attitude.

The implication of this seeker is: "It is your responsibility to deal with this matter, and if you are derelict in your duty not to ask, then I will also report it to your superiors, and at that time, you will be passive." ”

No leader wants to leave a bad impression on the superior leader of shirking responsibility, dereliction of duty, and handing over contradictions, but in reality, he often forgets this point, and at this time, someone needs to be right.

Be patient with the reminder

Seekers always want to solve the problem as soon as possible. But in reality, things often don't go as planned. Obviously, it is not possible to wait passively, and you have to ask the relevant departments or leaders again and again.

Reminders are very particular, and it will backfire if you don't get it right.

Ask questions, don't be impatient, and be patient and tireless in visiting your door to complain about your reasons and requirements. Don't expect to be answered and dealt with quickly, be mentally prepared for a long-term battle.

When prompting, the attitude should be sincere and the tone should be calm. Even if you are coldly treated, hit a nail, or the handler gets angry, you have to calm down, as long as the problem can be handled, it is worth receiving a little grievance. You still have to be calm and present your opinion.

When speaking, you should pay attention to the proportionality of your words, use a pleading tone, and don't use "Why don't you deal with it?" "Didn't you say you'd give me an answer today? Why doesn't speech count? "When exactly are you going to settle it?" "It must be dealt with by the end of this month!" and so on. It may be much better if you change to a different tone of inquiry.

In the interval of the reminder time, it should be shorter and shorter, and the number of times should be more and more frequent, so as to create a sense of urgency of the handler, and the frequent reminder is likely to cause the other party's irritability, it doesn't matter, as long as you are reasonable and responsible, it doesn't matter, as long as you persevere, it will bring about a turnaround.

After a victim who was put in small shoes by the leader complained to the superior leader, the superior leader did not want to ask, so the victim frequently urged him, so that even the leader's wife was annoyed, she complained to her husband: "This person is strange and pitiful, he comes every day, it is annoying, you can solve it for him." The leader thought about it too, so he made up his mind to deal with the problem.

Know what is at stake

Sometimes, despite the facts, the right and wrong are clear, and despite the efforts of the complainant and the repeated questioning, the matter remains unresolved. There may be a number of reasons for this:

First, the matter involves all aspects, the relationship is complex, and the whole body needs to be moved, and the handler feels very troubled and simply does not care; 2. The handler has a deep relationship with the offender, favoritism and protection, and cannot enforce the law impartially; 3. The processor himself is implicated in this matter.

All three of these situations tip the processor's scales. They may resort to "cold treatment" tactics to slowly drain your energy and wear down your will. For example, the handler will say, "How about giving me face?" "Justify giving three points!" "Take a step back and open the sky!" Use this philosophy of moderation to disintegrate you and make you give up your legitimate demands.

At this point, you have to point out that this is an irreconcilable issue of right and wrong, in order to uphold the dignity of the law, and to firmly express your determination not to give up until the goal is achieved. As long as you are resolute and chase after you, the "cold treatment" will lose its effect. The handler had no choice but to come up with a last resort -- to use power to oppress people.

At this time, you should not be discouraged, but make a final effort, that is, on the one hand, you should affirm the righteousness, and on the other hand, you should know the stakes and tell the handler solemnly what actions you will take to expand the situation if the matter is not dealt with fairly, so that the handler can understand what serious consequences will be. Because, all those who bend the law for favoritism are weak-minded, and they are most afraid of the expansion of the situation, because once the matter becomes big, they will have the responsibility that they cannot escape, and they have to think about their own future.

Kneeling - a means of death

As a last resort, some seekers will suddenly resort to a lethal measure: when they have no effect and are desperate, they will shout: "For God's sake, raise your noble hand and be merciful!" Then he straightened up, kneeled down, and with a "plop" sound, he fell to his knees in front of the person who was sought.

It's a deadly tactic, and it's not uncommon in everyday life.

Kneeling down and begging for others is an extreme play of the "tearful tactics". Its power is far from being comparable to other means, and it will simply make the person being asked fart and pee.

Some people may scoff at this move and disdain it, thinking that this move is inferior, and the dignity is swept away, and pigs and dogs are not as good. It is important to know that extraordinary measures should be used at extraordinary moments, and when necessary, it is not necessary to give up the old face and "sacrifice life for righteousness". The feat of a German religious leader kneeling in the snow to beg the Pope is a must.

In feudal society, people often compared emperors and kings who represented the highest power to the sun, but in medieval Europe, people said that emperors and kings were nothing more than the moon, and there was a higher authority above them, that is, the pope, and only the pope was called the sun.

The Pope is the head of the Christian Church. The church was originally only a group that managed religious affairs, but in medieval Europe, due to the feudal lords in various kingdoms, and the chaos caused by years of chaos, the royal power was weakened and the situation was chaotic. The enthronement and coronation of kings are presided over by the pope; When walking with the king, the pope rode on horseback, and the king could only walk; At the reception, the Pope sits and the king bows his knees. The power of the king comes from the pope, and the divine right is higher than the royal power.

Not only that, but the Church owns one-third of the land in each country and collects "tithes" (i.e., 1/10 of each person's income into the church) from the inhabitants of each country. Literature, art, philosophy, law, etc., must serve the church and theology. From birth, adulthood, marriage, and death, a person is subject to the administration and control of the Church, which has its own prisons and criminal laws, and uses the method of "excommunication" to deal with all those who resist. If a person is excommunicated, he loses all his social status and social connections. This is the most frightening punishment, even for kings and emperors.

In 1076, the German Holy Roman Emperor Henry and Pope Gregory competed for power, and the struggle became increasingly fierce and developed to the point of opposing forces. Henry wanted to get rid of the control of the Holy See, and the Pope wanted to strip Henry of all his autonomy.

At the moment of intense conflict, Henry first challenged and convened a synod of bishops from all the dioceses in Germany to abolish Gregory's papacy. Gregory, on the other hand, held a meeting of the whole Christian church at the Laterano Palace in Rome, announcing the expulsion of Henry's mission, not only to oppose Henry in Germany, but also to set off a wave of anti-Henry in other countries.

The Pope's appeal was very great, and for a time the anti-Henry forces at home and abroad in Germany were shocking, especially the feudal lords of all sizes in Germany rebelled and challenged Henry's throne.

Faced with the crisis, Henry was forced to compromise, and in January 1077, dressed in rags, with only two retinues, and riding on a donkey, braved the bitter cold to travel thousands of miles to Rome to ask the Pope for repentance.

But Gregory deliberately ignored him, and hid in Canossa's palace, far from Rome, before Henry arrived. Henry had no choice but to go to Canossa again to meet the Pope.

After arriving at Canossa, the Pope closed the castle gates and did not let Henry in. In order to keep the emperor's throne, Henry knelt in disgrace and begged for mercy in front of the castle gate.

At that time, it was snowing heavily and the weather was freezing, and Henry, as the emperor, took off his hat and knelt on the snow for three days and three nights before the Pope opened the door to greet him and forgave him.

This is the famous "Canossa Trip" in history.

After Henry returned to Germany after reinstating his church and keeping his position, he concentrated on cleaning up the interior, and then sent troops to destroy the feudal lords one by one, and stripped them of their titles and fiefdoms, and the internal resistance forces that once threatened his throne were destroyed one by one. Immediately after his position was firmly established, he sent troops to attack Rome in revenge for the humiliation. In front of Henry's strong army, Gregory abandoned the city and fled, and finally died in a foreign land.

Obviously, Henry's "trip to Canossa" had ulterior motives. In his confrontation with the pope, the opposition at home and abroad, especially the internal rivalry, the throne is in jeopardy, he wants to use the bitter trick to achieve reconciliation and gain respite in order to regroup, make a comeback, and compete with the pope again. As a result, he succeeded.