It is better to beg than to beg, and persuasion is better than to induce

There is an ancient fable about a charioteer who pulled his car up to the bridge, and the bridge was so steep that he couldn't pull it halfway through. In a hurry, he pressed hard against the handlebars and sang loudly. As he sang, the people in front stopped to look at him, and the people behind wanted to see what was going on, so they hurried to catch up with him, while the coachman took the opportunity to beg everyone to help push the cart, and everyone worked hard together, and the cart was pushed onto the bridge.

The coachman understands people's curiosity, so he does not rely on brute force to pull the cart alone, but leans on the handlebar to sing, and if he can't recruit someone to push the cart, even if he tries his best, he can't pull the cart up the bridge.

This coachman's strategy is unparalleled. Originally, it was to ask for help, but it turned out to be a conscious and voluntary behavior of others, begging people to ask for help silently and without a trace. We summarize this kind of man-seeking technique as "stealth warfare".

Don't think it's just a fable, just talk, it doesn't work in life, there really is such a thing in reality. This is how Rett, the editor-in-chief of the New York Daily News, sought the help of a talented person.

At the time, Lert was the editor-in-chief of Grille's New York Tribune, and he was missing a shrewd assistant. His sights were set on the young John Hay, whom he needed to help him make a name for himself and help Grillet become the successful publisher of the newspaper. John had just retired from his diplomatic post in Madrid, Spain, and was returning to his native state of Illinois to practice law.

Reiter saw that John was a good hand, but how did he get this promising young man to abandon his plans and take up a job at the newspaper? Reiter invited him to dinner at the League Club. After dinner, he suggested that John Hays go to the newspaper office to have fun. From the midst of many telecommunications, he found an important piece of news. It happened that the editor of the foreign news was not there, so he said to John, "Please sit down and write an editorial about this news for tomorrow's newspaper." Naturally, John couldn't refuse, so he picked up the pen and did it. The editorial was so well written, and Grillet appreciated it, so Reiter asked him for a week or a month, and gradually put him in the position. Without realizing it, John gave up his plans to return to his hometown to become a lawyer and stayed in New York to work as a journalist.

With this strategy, Reiter hunted him for a good candidate, and John, motivated by the desire to give it a try and do his friend a favor, turned the course of his life without pressure and with great interest. Beforehand, Reiter did not reveal his intentions at all, he only persuaded John to help him write a small editorial, and the matter was successfully realized.

From this, we can derive a law of asking for help, that is: it is better to beg than to beg gently, and persuasion is better than to induce.

While using this strategy, it is important to note that when inducing others to participate in your own business, you should first arouse the interest of others.

When you want to induce someone to do something very easy, you have to give him a small victory first. When you want to induce someone to do something big, it's best to give him a strong stimulus so that he has a desire to succeed in doing it. In this case, his pride is aroused, he is stimulated by a desire to succeed, and he is happy to try again for the sake of a pleasant experience.

Leaders know that this is an important strategy for making people work together. But sometimes, it takes a lot of effort to apply this strategy, and sometimes it's very convenient. In the case of Reiter's hunt for John, he only made a little arrangement.

In short, to get people enthusiastic about your plan, you have to induce them to try it first, and if possible, let them start by doing something easy that, in their opinion, is often an exciting real success.

Got into the belly of the Iron Fan Princess

In "Journey to the West", it is said that Tang monks and apprentices went to the west to learn scriptures, and met the Flame Mountain halfway. Even if Sun Wukong has great ability, he can't extinguish it, and finally has to plead with Princess Iron Fan and borrow her fan. Who knew that this woman didn't appreciate her face at all. So Sun Wukong turned into a small flying insect and got into the belly of the princess of the iron fan, and after a toss, the princess couldn't stand it and had to surrender.

There is a rule in the art of war: a fortress is easiest to attack from within. This strategy can also be adopted to seek people with the "stealth tactics of warfare", and if the attack cannot be made in the open, it will be outwitted secretly.

Zhong Yin is a famous painter in the Southern Tang Dynasty during the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms, he was young and enlightened, tired of mundane things, fortunately the family is rich, there is endless silver, so he went into the mountains, learning from the predecessor Mr. Tao Yuanming "settled in the human realm, and there is no noise of cars and horses", and started to "pick chrysanthemums under the east fence, leisurely see the hermit of Nanshan".

Secluded in the mountains and forests, in addition to self-cultivation and practicing qigong, one of Zhong Yin's favorite things to do is to paint. Fortunately, the birds and flowers are singing in front of me, the stream is clear, and there are materials for painting everywhere. Zhong Yin paints flowers, bamboos, birds, landscapes and figures every day, but also entertains himself.

However, after painting for a while, Zhong Yin had the problem of "high eyes and low hands". No matter how you look at your paintings, you are angry, and the wonderful world you conceive by yourself just can't be painted, so anxious that he throws away his paintbrush and screams at the mountains and forests.

Zhong Yin calmed down, and after reflection, he realized that the problem was his lack of painting skills. So I decided to go down the mountain to learn art.

After going down the mountain, I inquired and found out that the master of painting flowers and birds at that time was called Guo Zihui, this public brush and ink are natural, and the music is full of the wonder of physical properties, especially good at painting eagles and harriers. Zhong Yin was overjoyed and immediately went to Guo's mansion to apprentice.

Unexpectedly, Guo Ganhui is not a layman in the world, although he has unique skills, he is unwilling to teach others easily, whether he intends to make his set of unique skills lost, it is unknown. Anyway, when his old man wanted to paint, he would always order his subordinates to close the door and insert the latch, lest passers-by on the road, or guests who trespassed in, get a glimpse of a trick. Therefore, Zhong Yin rushed to Guo's mansion in a hurry, and without even stepping into the gate, he let the gatekeeper blow out.

Zhong Yin was very funny, and slapped his head and scolded himself: What a damn thing! Damn, after going up to the mountain to live in seclusion, I forgot all the worldly rules, thinking that Confucius accepted students back then, and he had to carry ten pieces of bacon, why did I come empty-handed?

So, Zhong Yin returned home, asked someone to prepare a cart of silver, and went to the door again to ask for a meeting. Who knew that the porter still blocked the entrance, and sneered: "Do you think our master is short of silver flowers?" Let me tell you, our master draws a circle with a brush, and you can eat for a year and a half. I also thought of putting the score here, and I didn't see the house number clearly! ”

There was no way, Zhong Yin had no choice but to pull a cart of silver and go home.

If you can't join the teacher, Zhong Yin's tea and rice are not fragrant, and you can't sleep at night. As the old saying goes, "There is no end to the sky". Finally, Zhong Yin came up with a clever plan, since the right path can't be followed, then why not take the left side of the door? So, he disguised himself as a small servant, and then went to Guo's mansion to be a slave, and repeatedly emphasized that he only ate and did not need to be paid. He was a painter after all, and even the porter didn't recognize him after putting on makeup. Because he was not demanding, and Guo Fu was short of manpower, he was accepted.

Zhong Yin really deserves to be a natural spy, as soon as he entered Guo's mansion, he coaxed up and down to go around, and served the old Mr. Guo even more diligently, serving tea and cigarettes day and night, taking good care of him, and bluffing the old Mr. Guo, the old man removed all the lines of defense against him, and when he painted, he even asked him to stand aside and grind ink, but he didn't expect him to be a spy at all.

At this time, Zhong Yin was satisfied, he could watch Mr. Guo's brushwork and color when painting, and it didn't take long for him to become familiar with Mr. Guo's secret skills.

Who knows, the more you learn painting skills, the more difficult it is. One day, Zhong Yin couldn't bear it anymore and secretly drew a pigeon on the wall, which looked good. Someone reported this to Mr. Guo, and when the old man heard the news, he went to watch it, and was shocked when he saw it, knowing that this was definitely not something that a layman could draw. So, Zhong Yin was summoned for interrogation.

Zhong Yin saw that the paper couldn't contain the fire, so he had to tell the plate, Mr. Guo was not angry when he heard it, but was greatly moved: "Xianggong did not hesitate to be a slave in order to learn painting, how dare the old man be?" It's really rare in the world to study like this, so the old man will make an exception to take you under the door. ”

Since then, Mr. Guo Ganhui and Zhong Yin have been commensurate with master and apprentice, one is a longitudinal painting Tao, and the other is a secret stunt: the other is dedicated to hard study, careful thinking, and sure enough, Zhong Yin has a deep purpose, and his skills are advancing rapidly. There are "eagles, pigeons and miscellaneous birds", "around the chopping of Jiao" and so on to pass on to later generations.

Through the words of the mouth, pass on the affairs of my confidants

Many friends will encounter a kind of distress, when they want money, they don't have money, and when they want relationships, it doesn't matter, and at this time to ask someone to do something is like a dog biting a hedgehog, and I don't know where to start. If you can have an extra eye and a little more thought in your daily life, and pay attention to the stumbling relationships between people, especially people with heads and faces, it will come in handy in many cases.

For example, in order to sell blinds, a person knows that the manager of a certain company and a certain director are old acquaintances, so he inquires about the manager's residence, carries a bag of fruit to visit, and after greeting each other, he says a few words like this:

"I was able to find your door this time because I was introduced by Director Wang, and he asked me to say hello to you on his behalf......

"To be honest, I was very happy when we met for the first time...... I heard Director Wang say that your company has not installed blinds yet......"

The next day, the blinds were sold. The genius of this person is that he deliberately put aside himself and used the roundabout attack method of "I got the introduction of Director Wang", which is to use the words of the mouth, pass on my confidants, and borrow the power of others, which makes the other party quickly accept it.

The society is complicated, the true is false, the false is real, who can always be so vigilant to distinguish the true from the false. So a lot of people can take advantage of the loopholes.

One day, a salesman from a real estate company who handled real estate transfer came to a friend's house with a letter of introduction from a friend's friend. After greeting each other, they listened to him:

"This is because my boss, Section Chief Zhao, admires you very much, and tells me that if I visit you, please ......sign the book," he said, taking out his friend's recently published book from his briefcase. So the friend couldn't help but trust him. Here, Section Chief Zhao's admiration and request to sign a book were nothing more than an excuse to compliment this friend and make him laugh.

If you say this in the presence of the person being flattered, it will inevitably smell of flattery, and it will make it easy to observe the purpose. But this clever salesman deliberately put aside himself and used the roundabout attack of "my boss is your loyal reader", which is more ingenious, effective and more acceptable than "I adore you". Particularly skillfully, he had his friend's book ready. In this case, no one can afford not to do what he says. This kind of means of seeking help is indeed difficult to withstand.

I don't know each other, I don't know each other, how to let the person you ask for understand that you and he are friends and relatives, relatives and relatives, is obviously very far-fetched, but ordinary people don't refute the face of friends, and they will never let you eat closed-door. It's a shortcut to asking for help.

It is common for a seeker to convey his or her feelings and wishes through the words of a third party. People unconsciously use this skill. For example: "I heard my colleague Lao Zhang say that you are a warm-hearted person, and you must not be wrong to do this......" and so on. But beware, this kind of talk is not just talk, and it can't be too outrageous. Sometimes it's necessary to do some research beforehand.

In order to get to know the other person in advance, you can ask the other person about the other person's situation. It is important for the third party to provide information, especially if the initial meeting with the person being sought is of great significance, and it is important to collect as many information as possible from the other party. However, for the information provided by a third party, it is not possible to say all of them, but also to make trade-offs according to needs, and flexibly quote them with their own on-site observation and personal experience. At the same time, it is also necessary to clarify the relationship between the third party and the person being sought. This is very important, otherwise it may backfire.