Except for some people with strange personalities, usually "love" is far more able to touch people's heartstrings than "reason". In lobbying, often saying something that the other party likes to hear must be easy to have emotional resonance.

How do you find what the other person likes to hear? Social psychology research has shown that people are willing to associate and talk to people who have similarities to them. Because similar factors can not only effectively reduce the fear and anxiety of both parties, but also produce acceptable common information, similar understanding, produce the same and similar emotional experience, and then resonate emotionally.

There are many similar factors that can resonate emotionally between people, some of which are obvious and some of which are hidden. In conversation, as long as you pay attention to the other person's behavior and speech, it is not difficult to find some similar factors as a breakthrough in the common topic of conversation.

For example: "Experiences are similar." The Tang Dynasty poet Bai Juyi, as a Sima of Jiangzhou, met a low-status pipa girl, and could quickly talk to each other, and shed tears for it, sprinkling wet green shirts, just because "the same is the end of the world". The similarities in experience and encounters made them temporarily eliminate the difference in status and have a common language.

Another example: similar interests. Shared interests and hobbies are the ones that best promote the proximity of the two sides of a conversation, and they often induce a specific attraction in people's psyche. For example, talking about playing with flowers and plants and goldfish with fish and flower farmers, talking about music appreciation and sports competitions with music and sports lovers, talking about philately with stamp collectors, etc., often have topics that arouse the interest of the other party and stimulate the other party to spit out, and at this time, the hobby has become a bridge for them to further talk.

Once, the famous cross talk actor Jiang Kun went to Shiyan City, Hubei Province to perform, and reporters from several news units came to interview, but unexpectedly, Jiang Kun politely declined one by one, which made the reporters very disappointed. However, a female reporter who loves cross talk knocked on Jiang Kun's door again and said: "Mr. Jiang Kun, I am a cross talk fan, and I have some opinions on your performance...... Jiang Kun received her very warmly as soon as she heard that she was giving her opinions on her own program. The female reporter used her and the other party's hobby and shared interest in cross talk to make a fuss, skillfully opened Jiang Kun's "chatterbox", and successfully completed the interview task.

In addition, there are geographical similarities. Direct similarities such as similar occupations, similar ages, similar situations, and relatives, friends, and classmates. Indirect similarities such as neighbors can be a bridge to communicate emotions and find common topics.

A reporter once told an experience of his interview: he went to a certain rural area to interview, lived in an old lady's house, and said hello when he entered the door: "Listen to the accent of the aunt is from Shandong, it seems to be from Lu Zhongnan, right?" The eldest lady said: "Yes, my hometown is Yanggu, Shandong." He continued: "When I was a soldier, there were a lot of Shandong people in our company, and the company commander, platoon commander, and squad leader were all from Shandong, and the Shandong villagers made great contributions to the country. These words aroused the old lady's memories of the past, and she told the reporter about the past, and the reporter heard a lot of useful materials from her, and the unexpected gain was quite large.

This is through the indirect similarity - the chief, comrades-in-arms and the eldest lady are all from Shandong, so they have a common topic of interest with the eldest mother, and it really makes the eldest mother have emotional resonance.

By confessing your heart, you can also resonate emotionally. Sometimes, we find that we can't communicate with someone who is guarded, and one of the reasons is because the other person has the idea that we are in a different world. It is conceivable that two life experiences. People with completely different living environments, ideological backgrounds, or living habits will of course feel out of place when they meet for the first time. In order to break through such barriers, it is necessary to convince the other party that they belong to the same world and that there is indeed some common hobby or need. For example, the most convincing way to persuade drug or alcohol addicts to get rid of this addiction is often "people who have been addicted to drugs" or have tasted alcohol poisoning. Because the common experience between each other is enough to quickly dispel each other's vigilance, so that they are willing to open their minds and accept good persuasion with an open mind.

Normally, before convincing some conceited or slightly inferior people, they first tell each other their family situation, experience, hobbies, etc., intentionally or unintentionally, so that the other party can deepen their understanding of themselves and shorten the distance between them; He can even expose some of his innocuous shortcomings without embellishment, temporarily give the other party the upper hand, and make him relieve his resistance, and then sharply turn to the topic, so that the other party is in a hurry, and has no power to parry, but to bow down and obey orders.

Some persuaders often like to argue with reason and stick to their principles. In addition to being red-faced, he not only failed to win the convincing of the other party, but strengthened the other party's prejudice and determination to resist. At this time, if you switch to the smile strategy, kindly express that you are on the same side as the other party, and humbly accept the other person's opinion, you will definitely be able to make the other party stop insisting on their own opinions and change their attitude. In this delicate situation, it is likely that the opinion of the persuader will be consciously adopted. This attitude of the persuaded does not come from the level of reason, but breeds the psychology of identification in the deep core. This is the power of emotional induction.