Conquering people's hearts is not simply pandering, sometimes, be brave enough to say no, be good at saying no, and let the other party's heart obediently convince in "no".

Generally speaking, if you want to praise someone, you have to cater to them. Because praise is first and foremost an affirmation of others, as opposed to criticism, opposition, and disgust. If the understanding of praise is limited to this level, it can be said that it is incomplete, and therefore praise cannot be called an art.

Praise requires skill, and simple pandering does not necessarily achieve the effect of praise. On the contrary, it may be interpreted as a suspicion of slapping horses and flattery.

Kou Zhun was a famous minister of the Song Dynasty, and at a banquet between the court and the middle, he accidentally spilled soup on his beard, and a minister sitting next to him hurriedly reached out to help him touch it. But this person was reprimanded by Kou Zhun. Because Kou Zhun thinks that his actions are out of his identity. Hence the term whisker. was originally a good intention, but in exchange for being despised by others. It seems that praise without skill is like a horse without wings, which cannot fly.

The reason why praise can become art is that we need to be flexible and adopt a corresponding approach in a specific situation. If you can't get good results by catering to the other party, then why not change your thinking and go against the other party's wishes?

Dare to say "no" and be good at saying "no" can work wonders when complimenting others. Sometimes, the other person's opinion and behavior are not correct, but he is not aware of it for some reason. If you are brave enough to say "no" to such an opinion or behavior of him, he will surely appreciate you if he is a person of integrity. Because it is also a compliment to him, a compliment to his personality. His actions affirm that he is a man of integrity, who is able to recognize, admit and correct his own shortcomings. In this sense, it can be seen that saying "no" is actually a twin brother of praise. It's just that the skills they show are different, but the effect they achieve is the same.

Therefore, if we look at the psychological reflection of the person being praised, as long as the other party achieves a kind of psychological satisfaction and produces a good effect, it can be called praise.

Everyone likes to listen to compliments and compliments. Because it is pleasant to listen to, it is comfortable in the heart. Even if you say it's not on point, the other party will laugh at most and won't be serious with you.

Saying "no" is a different story. Saying "no" is very skillful and strategic. Without thinking, a casual "No" will only make the other person uncomfortable. Because "No" means that you oppose him, deny him, and do not recognize him. If the other party is a narrow-minded, vindictive person, then I can only sympathize with you deeply - you are miserable.

If you want to say the word "no" smoothly, satisfy the other party, and not cause trouble for yourself, you really have to learn a trick or two.

Move people with emotion

In the office, it is not uncommon for colleagues to borrow money from each other. What should you do if you meet a colleague who usually doesn't have a good relationship and doesn't have a good reputation, and opens his "tiger's mouth" to you?

"Nope!" You may have one more enemy from now on.

"Find someone else!" If you have something to do in the future, look behind you a few more times, and beware of being shot coldly.

"Ouch, man, I really like to borrow you, but I don't have any money. Our relationship is so good, and I'm not afraid of the ugliness of my family. Every time the salary came down, it was all confiscated by the mouth, and only living expenses were given. Look!" You rummage through your pockets (beware of large bills).

At this time, crying poverty with emotion is a good way to deal with borrowing money. Your pitiful look will surely make the other person find a sense of balance and satisfaction.

"Alas, this boy is poorer than me. It's even worse than 'tracheitis'!" Maybe he still sympathizes with you in his heart.

When you stand on the basis of the other person's point of view, be honest and honest, dispel the other person's doubts, and make him feel safe and satisfied, your "no" can be said.

Lure the enemy deeper

Sometimes, when the other party asks you, it is ridiculous and unrealistic, but he doesn't realize it. If you simply say no, you may hurt the other person's self-esteem.

So what to do?

It's actually quite simple. You come to be a director and deduce an absurd and impossible result from his request or point of view. Induce him to realize how ridiculous he is.

The famous spring designer Ogira is very good at this. On one occasion he received a client who insisted on making curtains out of a floral cloth that did not fit in with his room at all, and said how beautiful it was.

If you meet someone else, you will be bitter and dry to persuade the customer to give up their ideas. The shrewd Ogira, not. He silently hung the cloth on the window. The customer looked at it, alas, it was ugly!

Ogira didn't say a word, so the other party asked for a different kind of cloth and listened to Odira's advice.

Mince words

It's hard to say the clear "No", so why not do some "fuzzy learning", so that the other party will be confused and willingly rejected by you.

There is a company that recruits designers. Recruiters use this method to reject poor candidates.

"Ouch, I'm so sorry, I'm probably too tired, I don't really understand your blueprint. Can you go back and draw me another one that I can better understand?"

This kind of answer, while affirming the other party's level, skillfully rejected him and let him leave hopefully. Maybe I'll be back the next day with a good set of blueprints.

The yellow finch is behind

Reject the other party's request out loud, which may make the other party unable to get off the stage and feel shameless. Then we can first affirm some of the other person's requirements, give the other party some encouragement, let him give up the fear of rejection, and then say "no". This way of refusal, the other party will generally gladly accept.

The old lady Maria was a very welcoming person. One day, she invites her neighbor, Shan.

"Come to my house at night, okay? Susan. The old lady said earnestly.

"Okay, I haven't tasted your fragrant pie for a long time, but my husband just came back today."

Susan's husband went abroad for official business shortly after his marriage, and it has been almost two months now. If you think about it, the old lady naturally understands what it means, and she is happy to be rejected.