She didn't go back to the school dormitory that night, and H called: "Where are you?" Have you forgotten what apartment building we are? She often laughed at her as an amnesiac person. She scolded: "Dead Nizi! She doesn't go back to sleep, don't wait, don't think about her, remember to lock the door. With that, she hung up.

She turned over and looked at her aunt who was walking with her on the single bed in the small hotel, her left shoulder bare, and the rose tattoo on it was haughty, seductive, and lonely.

In fact, she was also going to go to KTV with them yesterday afternoon, but before leaving, Chen Hua sent a text message, he said, don't leave her a message again, her girlfriend is a little unhappy. The radio waves came all the way from Dandong, 1,723 kilometers away, to tell her this. She felt like she had to live it all over again every time she confronted her memories. When she was sad, she would be watery, the kind of binge drinking, and she drank all the rest of the water from the water bottle, thinking that this way her body would not become empty because of her sadness.

She really hated him, was so jealous of him, and envied him.

She wanted to say these words to her aunt, as if she had been cut by a little nail clipper, and her aunt seemed to sense the sadness on her face, hugged her tightly, and said, "Your parents love you very much, your friends love you very much, she loves you very much, and you have to love yourself too." Compared to some people, you are already much happier than them. ”

Biting her lip, she stopped talking, and the grievances spread from the inside out, like steam. The sound of the TV in the next room came intermittently, and the aunt scolded in a low voice, pulled the quilt on her side, and said, "Sleep Tingting, just sleep well." ”

She closed her eyes and fell into the thick darkness of the night, which seemed to breathe and live, and swept her into a catastrophe.

After a long time, in the haze, she heard the mobile phone that her aunt put on the bedside table ring, the sly fluorescence made her wake up a lot, she sat up like a curious Pandora, sat up and pushed the sleeping aunt, and saw that she didn't respond and quickly picked up the phone and went into the bathroom.

"He Zizhen, Chen Min has always disagreed with the divorce, don't wait for me, I'm afraid, I can't go with you, and I can't bear her daughter, she is still so young. Forgive me. ”

Well, the box has been opened, so why not check it out. She continued to look through the previous text messages, and the more she looked at them, the more incredulous she became.

The aunt replied that she was pregnant, but she could go to the hospital to get rid of the baby. Her name was the man, Hung. She is divorced from her husband, and she is going to go to Hong and ask him to take care of things and come to her.

The floor of the bathroom was so cold, she couldn't help but think, auntie, do I really know you? She turned on the faucet and wanted to wash her face, but she was stunned and overwhelmed by the flow of water. When she came out of the bathroom, she pinched her phone with her wet hands, and she was in a trance, and she didn't even see her aunt sitting on the edge of the bed.

The TV in the room suddenly snapped on, like she jumped, there was no image, only the beeping sound was particularly harsh. She held up her phone and blurted out, "What's going on, didn't you tell me that happiness is all you have?" Why are you so dissatisfied? He asks you to forgive him, see for yourself! How can you bear to beat your child, you are so cruel! ”

"Tingting, Auntie can't help it, Auntie hurts, it really hurts!" Xiao He took out a bloody thing like a ball of meat from behind his back and threw it over, crying and laughing fiercely.

"Ahh

Looking at the time displayed on the phone, at half past seven, the roommates went to KTV and still haven't returned. She flipped out Chen Hua's text message in the afternoon and pressed the delete button.

She closed her eyes and thought, "Let's stop here."

A few weeks later, my aunt, who was an editor at a teen magazine, was on a business trip to Xi'an, and she drove through City C to see her at school.

There was a new bubble tea shop downstairs in the apartment, and the weather was sweltering, so they went to the store to order two cups of Western herbal tea, and from time to time acquaintances came into the store to buy things, and she greeted them with a smile.

Since the college entrance examination, her mother used a high-pressure policy to force her to fill in the accounting, and she stopped writing in anger. But this time the feeling I want to talk about is so strong, and the dream about Xiaohe is like a relief, and it is also like a way home.

"It's a dream, and I don't know if I'm a guest." My aunt said in a crepe manner, blowing the hot air on the milk tea cup in front of her.

"Don't dislike it if it's not well written, she still holds up that dream strangely, I think she will miss more if she doesn't write it." She had decided to write down that dream.

After the irritable exam in July, she took a simple bag on her back and joined the rural volunteer teaching organized by the college. Two vans send a group of energetic college students to the isolated mountains. The vivid green outside the car window is within reach, and a senior sister rests her head on her boyfriend's shoulder, and the two young heads snuggle against each other.

She remembered that one night, she was so attached to a small piece of peace on her lover's shoulder, like the earth finding a sun worth revolving around, like the fire of war resting after the sound of gold.

In the ensuing seven or eight minutes of driving, she was like a lamb to be slaughtered and tortured to death by a winding mountain road, and as soon as the car stopped, she rushed to the side of the road and vomited, tears waiting for an opportunity to flow, and her face was confused.

One of the most touching experiences of volunteering in a primary school in the mountains was when she visited the home of a little girl in her class. Next month is her 16th birthday, her parents are working outside the home, and her grandmother who accompanies and takes care of her is more like being taken care of by her. At noon, she said in a slur manner: "Teacher Tingting, I won't leave you to eat at noon, and I don't even have extra bowls at home." ”

Although she had long heard that the children in the mountains were pitiful, when she really touched the coldness of poverty itself at this moment, she was choked up and speechless for a while. She stood there for a long time, then took off her watch and gave it to her. She said, "Zhenzhen, this is a birthday gift from the teacher, it's okay to follow it soon." Time is precious, you have to study hard and get out. ”

At the end of the two-week summer practice, many students changed their biological clocks from sunrise to sunset, and everyone went to bed early on the last night. When she woke up in the middle of the night, she saw that the person in charge, Mr. Yuan, was still writing on the desk with a flashlight, and she knew that she was writing farewell letters for each child like last year, using the fingers of a new mother who had caressed the delicate skin of the baby to hold the pen, brew, and put down the pen, word by word.

She closed her eyes again, the sycamore leaves rustled outside the window, and recited Qu Yuan's "Lingering autumn wind, under the leaves of Dongting Tingting" in high school.

She recalled the bits and pieces of Chen Hua's company before, like embarrassingly flipping through a novel with a poor plot, and the original swollen sadness and sorrow were squeezed into flat bookmarks.

I still remember that he proposed to break up at night, but the next morning, she could touch her phone sleepily and text him: "Get up, remember to have breakfast." Her instincts and habits betrayed her and made her laugh and cry. At the head of the bed was the gardenia that her mother had picked a few days ago, and she was silent and weeping in the light aroma, she thought, the thalamus had finally stopped secreting dopamine, but it had not been four years.

The next morning, she got up the earliest and grabbed a blanket to cover Teacher Yuan, who was asleep on the table. As soon as she opened the door, she saw Zhenzhen, and she shyly handed a painting to her and thanked her as a parting gift.

She happily took a selfie of herself and Zhenzhen, holding the painting slightly like Van Gogh's "Starry Sky" to her chest, and her smile was full of the first rays of sunshine, stirring with the fragrance of her heart.

Before the temperature rose, their van started again, and the children kept chasing after the car, and she stuck her head out the window and shouted, "Goodbye, goodbye, go back." When she was ready to sit in her seat, she couldn't cry, and her classmates held her hand tightly and said, "Tingting, how lucky we are." ”

This time, the return trip bypassed the winding mountain road, which was long and boring, except for the cheerful birdsong on the side of the road announcing that the group was about to squeeze into the smoky city again.

During the summer vacation of her junior year, she preferred to stay at home, and once watched a boring soap opera with her mother, she bit into a popsicle stick with a residual sweet smell and asked, "Mom, do you remember Auntie?" It is He Zizhen. ”

"Remember, she used to say in front of me that you write so well, and she hid the extracurricular books I handed over to you in the shoe cabinet, a selection of foreigners, I wanted to wait for you to finish the college entrance examination and then give it to you, but then I forgot about it when I was busy moving. She's been quitting for two years, why do you suddenly ask about her? ”

"Oh, nothing."

"But I heard that she had a problem with her personal feelings, Tingting, where are you going?"

She rushed to the balcony and opened the screen window with a thud.

"Tingting, Tingting" Auntie beckoned to her downstairs: "Remember what I said?" Happiness is all you have. An old love has fallen, and thousands of new lovers have stood up. ”

She leaned out half of her body, nodded vigorously, her vision gradually blurred, she wiped away her tears, the thin figure of the aunt had disappeared, but her mother pulled her shoulders and asked with concern what was going on. She hugged her mother tightly and shook her head coquettishly in her arms: "It's okay, it's okay." I just remembered that my aunt had said that I couldn't make you angry anymore. ”

After graduating from college, she left her parents to wander alone, and the dream about Aunt Xiaohe had long been forgotten. If she hadn't seen that strange woman today, she would have forgotten the memory she once had. At that time, she was still a sentimental little girl, and now she consciously cultivates a vajra heart.

Her exhaustion and Chen Bowen's indifference were the reasons for her upset, and she felt that there was no newlywed atmosphere at home. But in addition to that, she also has the care of her grandmother, Xiaozi, and a lot of friends.

As she thought so, she walked out of the room, and her good mood was half restored. But when she passed by his study, a gust of wind drooped down a white piece of paper on his desk, she picked it up, looked at it carefully, and immediately blushed with anger, it was a portrait of her, but the word "ugly girl" was written underneath.