I was really going crazy, I was in a panic every day, I began to force myself not to sleep, because every time I woke up, my memory of him would be a little lighter, Lao Huang and Nineteen became more and more strange, Nineteen seemed to have completely forgotten him, whenever I mentioned Brother Shen, he only remembered fear, but he didn't know what he was afraid of.

Lao Huang has been silent, completely different from his talkative appearance before, I always feel that he often avoids my gaze, and then even the inn is no longer managed, like me, locked himself in the room, silently in a daze, I don't know what to think.

We were all sick, only nineteen were still busy at the inn, and there were fewer and fewer guests, until one day, Lao Huang suddenly rushed out and said that he was going to look for him.

He didn't seem to have forgotten, but my memory was very shallow, and I only knew that there was such a person, as illusory as in myths and legends, and Nineteen had no objection, so we closed the door of the inn, took enough equipment, and headed north.

Without the help of the Mo family, we could not pass through the sentry post, and could only enter from the no-man's land at the southern foot of Kunlun, which was a journey of hundreds of kilometers, and we could only walk on foot.

I don't know how we persevered, we really arrived at the foot of Kunlun Mountain, like a paradise, we couldn't find the valley full of hot springs anyway, the equipment was scarce, it was no longer enough to support us to continue, and in the end, we Ru Mao drank blood and almost became three wild men.

We were completely lost, and in the end, we were found by a scientific expedition, we were taken out, we met a lot of people, they asked us a lot of things, but we all chose to be silent, they looked at us strangely, seemed to think we were crazy, I don't know if I was really crazy, I felt very sober, there were some things that could not be said, they would only think that we were more like crazy.

People often go missing in the Kunlun area, and the ethnic minorities here are scattered, and many of them don't even have ID cards, and they think we are nearby herders and send us to the nearby county seat, and it was only then that I realized that we really couldn't find that person.

I knew I wasn't crazy, I looked at the calendar on the wall, it had been two months since we entered the mountain, and it was the beginning of November, and the snowy region had its first extremely extensive blizzard, just like when we first came out of the snowy mountain.

"I can't find it, Daze, I really can't find it."

Lao Huang whispered, I suddenly realized that he had not forgotten that person, let alone crazy, he was fulfilling me, he was accompanying me on my last adventure, this time it was over, it should really be over.

Like a blow to the head, I instantly sobered up a lot, the anxiety of the past two months disappeared, even I don't know where my limit is, I can endure physical pain, I can also endure mental torture, but I forgot that I have always been accompanied by two people, which is unfair to them.

They shouldn't bear it with me, I suddenly became numb, the past is in the past after all, no matter how unwilling I am, I can't make up for it, Ah Chuan might as well tell me that he was blown up, maybe I will be more open than now.

It's really time to end, I only have an inseparable feeling for Brother Shen now, a feeling that hurts when I think about it, in fact, I can't remember the experience related to him for a long time, only this feeling has been maintained.

The more I was afraid of forgetting, the faster I was forgetting, and now that I was in a calm mood, I could vaguely grasp his shadow, and I was quiet all the way, so quiet that even I was afraid, and asked me countless times, to confirm my mental state, and to be careful.

I couldn't answer, I was more and more sure that Lao Huang remembered him, maybe because he had drunk his blood, but I didn't dare to drink it, I was afraid that it was not like this at all, and if the jade was gone, I would forget him completely.

The inn reopened, and I kept this emotion and memory in my heart, and I had to read the records every night, even if I didn't have any impression, I could always give myself the feeling that I still remembered him.

He became a vague shadow, a spiritual milestone that gave me courage and faith that I had long forgotten what he was.

Another three months passed, and I finally got used to the life of his absence, in fact, it was not so difficult, it was just the occasional heartache, I lived as before, but there was a missing piece in my heart, and I couldn't fill it with anything.

Today is Chinese New Year's Eve.

The ancient city of the four seasons is like spring, and there are snowflakes floating in it, a thin layer, not big but cold, no wind, but so cold that it seems to be able to penetrate the bones and blood, like a chill emanating from the bottom of the heart.

The sky is getting dark, because the New Year is approaching, the inn has not picked up any more guests, Lao Huang just wants to close the door and have a New Year that belongs to us, I have been waiting for this moment for a long time, there has always been a blood curse hanging over my head, and I am unhappy to do anything.

Although there are still things on the mind, but it is still a little better than before, Nineteen is in the kitchen, Lao Huang is carrying beer, bottle by bottle open, most of the lights are turned off, only the table closest to the kitchen is left, and at this moment, a knock on the door suddenly came.

I faintly saw two figures standing outside, Lao Huang was a little impatient, and said loudly: "Don't you see the sign outside, we are already closed." ”

The knocking on the door stopped for a moment, and continued to ring, seeing that Lao Huang was about to erupt, I quickly stopped, I didn't want to be ruined at this time, I walked towards the door, the two figures standing in front of one after the other became clearer and clearer, until I saw the face of the person standing in front of me.

Time seemed to stand still, I stood there in a daze, lost my five senses for a moment, and the glass door in front of me was like a moat, separated by yin and yang, separated by time.

He was still the same as before, but the Tibetan robe on his body had been changed to the kind of white he had seen for the first time, and countless memories that had long faded were like erupting volcanoes, rushing into my mind one by one, I opened my mouth, I couldn't make a sound, and my body was as stiff as an ice sculpture, and I couldn't even move a little.

He didn't say anything, just looked at me through the door, there seemed to be water rippling in his amber pupils, I couldn't see his emotions, and he didn't seem to know what to say.

"Osawa?"

There seemed to be a distant voice behind me, and I ignored it, just staring at the person in front of me in a daze, and a sound of footsteps came from behind me, followed by an exclamation like an explosion.

"! Brother God, you, why are you back?! ”

A shadow flashed in front of me, quickly unlocked the door, and he walked in with the people behind him, his voice cold: "What I need to do is done." ”

I didn't know what to say at all, I still stood dumbfounded, and it took a long time for me to suddenly react, and the sadness and grievances that I had once felt broke out in an instant, and the tears were like opening the floodgates, and I couldn't stop it.

I still don't know what to say, what to do has been done, I don't want to ask, I don't want to understand, I suddenly feel that his return is enough.

He stopped in front of me and spoke in a voice that could only be heard by the two of us: "I remember you said you were most afraid of parting, so I came back." ”

I really wanted to give him a slap in the face, he gave despair when I was full of anticipation, he was far away when my heart was like ashes and almost crazy, and now I can finally accept it, I can let go, but he comes back and gives me new hope, or new despair.

He must hate me to death, otherwise why would he torture me like this?

But I knew he wasn't, so I couldn't beat him, it turned out that he understood, it turned out that he knew, I was really angry, I really hated him, but after hearing his words, I couldn't get angry anymore, I couldn't hate anymore.

I looked at the strap on his forehead, and somehow stretched out my hand, his gaze was still so calm, he didn't hide, and he didn't look strange, but my hand dropped the moment it touched the band.

Everything in the past swept away like a tsunami, it was really enough, I felt that I was so useless, I would forget all the pain I had when I saw him come back, I couldn't even bear to say the words of blame, I knew how painful I was, how could he not live in loneliness and darkness, how could I bear to blame him.

I was really poisoned by him, and when I saw him, I was not afraid of the most fearful, I stretched out my hand and touched his warm fingertips, and I saw his gaze resting on the jade on my chest, obviously stunned.

I grabbed his hand and brought his index finger to my lips, and under his astonished gaze, I bit down hard, and the salty blood flowed through the tip of my tongue, and it was hot like him, and I let go of his hand and said in the calmest voice possible: "Now we are the same." ”

Now that we're the same, you'll never leave again.

The astonishment in his eyes had not faded, I could only feel that there was something different, but I could not perceive what was different, I saw that the wound on his fingertip that had been bitten by me was healing at a speed visible to the naked eye, and soon turned into a shallow tooth mark.

"I won't go any more, I've done what needs to be done." He spoke softly, as if he could read my thoughts.

My nose was sore, and I quickly pulled out a few tissues from the dining table next to me, and wiped away my tears, enough is enough, really enough, when all expectations become reality, what more can I ask for, it doesn't matter, no matter how painful it was, it's all gone, what could be better than now, why should I cry.

I don't want him to feel weird, I don't want to scare him away, I don't know how determined and courageous he used to come out to us, I just want him to know that we are the same, we can accept him, we won't treat him as an outlier, I know he is worried in his heart, even if he is standing in front of me now, he is afraid.