"Do you have to work with the Hurricanes?"

He looked at me and didn't speak. I know there is no answer, this question has been asked many times since the day he forced the palace, and he has never said that he wants to give up.

I lowered my head, and suddenly I remembered something.

"Didn't you say that Xiao Han rolled up a large sum of money that the bank lent to Huaihai before leaving?"

"It's not."

"Isn't it?"

I sat upright again.

He was about to reach for his cigarette again, and I pulled him back so that his face was on mine.

"They discussed it before the accident, she took the money, and Huaihai carried everything down."

My eyes must have been filled with incredulity and disbelief.

He didn't scratch his hand, and wanted to go back and look for cigarettes again, but he thought that he had just been stopped by me, so he restrained himself.

I was furious, and my brow must have been furrowed.

"Then when you used Huaihai at the beginning, you said that if Xiao Han came back one day, if she wanted to hurt me, Huaihai might be a buffer."

He grabbed me by the arm.

"I knew you were going to ......"

He was careful with his words.

I sneered, what must be? Turn? Angry? Indifferent to being played like a monkey by you? Pretending to be stupid? Or pretend to be a pig and eat a tiger? It's a shame that I don't have that skill yet.

"You trust me."

I shook him off and wrapped myself up in my clothes, I didn't want my anger to be so obvious. If you are stupid, you have to admit that you are stupid. Skills are not as good as people, and skills are not as good as people. Willing to gamble and lose, the weak eat the strong.

My eyes were full of tears, and I forced them not to fall so easily, I didn't want to cry in front of him, whether it was grievance, whether it was tears of anger, I didn't want to cry in front of him, at least for now.

But he also ran out of bed and stopped in front of me, I couldn't avoid it, my fragility couldn't avoid it in front of him, I turned around, and he turned my face.

"You trust me."

He repeated.

I shook his hand away.

"What do you want me to believe in you?"

I gritted my teeth, like an angry beast, trying to cut everything in front of me to pieces with canine teeth.

I walked over to him, glaring at him.

"What do you want me to believe in you?"

I was so angry, not to mention that he saw my vulnerability, and when I didn't want to shed a tear in front of him, it made me feel so low, cheap, and like a fool.

I kept repeating, I didn't choose what to say, I came and went, and I just said this one sentence over and over again.

Zhang Ruolei frowned and looked at me like a stranger.

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Huh."

I watched him retreat, and behind him was the windowsill, and the marble of the windowsill was cold, and I felt funny, funny, the funniest joke I've ever heard, and the tears flowed down my eyes, just as cold.

"I don't believe you? What do you take to make me believe? Again and again you broke your word on me, and you deceived me again and again. Now you're putting all the blame on me, and you're saying I don't believe you. Zhang Ruolei, you ask yourself

's conscience, is it equal or not in our relationship, do you really love me? What do you want to do with me? I don't know what my role in your vast plan is, but ...... But ......"

My eyes widened, and my mind went blank. I lowered my head, tears ticking down the floor.

"Plum!"

"Don't call me."

I shouted at him.

I walked over to him.

"You know I love you, you use me, forget it, I don't want to care. But then what? What the hell are you doing to me? What do you do to me? You are the same as Huaihai, something happened, there was a problem, and you said that all the problems were on me. You say I don't believe you, what do you do to make me believe you? Did everything you did give me a sense of confidence? ”

I walked up to him, looked him in the eye, and met him word by word.

"I thought you were different from other men, you really loved me. You won't hurt me, you won't do things that hurt me, you won't turn your every word into a knife and slash at me. I didn't expect it, nothing different. ”

I saw the tendons on his lips spasm and twitch briefly and violently.

He looked at me, I looked at him. No one knows how to end it. I was like an enraged lioness who pulled out the frame to fight him to the end. I don't regret it, I feel that this fight should have been quarreled a long time ago, why has it dragged on until now? So much dissatisfaction, he has so much dissatisfaction with me in his eyes and in my mouth, we have so many dissatisfaction with each other, one is written on our faces, and the other is pronounced in our mouths.

Is it time for a showdown?

My chest was filled with angry gases, and they swung with my breath, time and space seemed frozen between us. He saw me as a stranger, and I saw that he was unfamiliar. Acquaintance and love seem to have become a passing cloud in another world. Love comes easily, and love is actually easier than love.

I should have known that he was the one who had always known better than I did.

Quiet, as if the world had come to an end, and only me and him were left in heaven and earth.

Long.

"I'm sorry."

He broke the silence first.

I'm not buying it.

"If a person who kills someone can be forgiven by saying 'I'm sorry,' then the world doesn't need the law, and there is no need for capital punishment."

He was silent, and I heard a muttering in his throat as he swallowed something alive. It was a long time before he looked up at me, his gaze was faint and clear, and I rarely use such adjectives to describe a man's eyes.

"You've got to ......"

His lips pursed, and he looked at me, as if he didn't seem to be looking, his eyes tangled, dodgy, hesitant and helpless. Like a lamb that has lost the shelter of its flock.

He...... My heart tightened, and tears fell. Why does God let two people love each other, but he refuses to let them love each other well? Why does God let two people love each other, but let them separate in the middle?

We are all marionettes of fate, let us go east to the east, let us go west to the west, we don't have the ability to fight fate, me

They are all pathetic and pathetic.

We are all lambs to the slaughter in the hands of fate.

I choked up, and he hesitated to continue what he wanted to say.

"You've got to ......," he said in a low, low tone, and I wondered if he was compromising to me, to the love of his heart, or to the whole world. His compromise made me feel pity.

"Give me a chance to make amends."

He bowed his head and burst into tears.

"I thought I loved you. Really,"

He sat down, on the edge of the bed, which silently withstood his grief, and he rested his elbows on his knees.

"I look down on Huaihai and think he's a scumbag. He treats you like that, I don't think I will ever do it in my life, I will make you proud, proud, and make all women envy you, there is no man in this world who is more considerate to you than me, knows your heart better, and will please you more. ”

Tears welled up in his eyes, and they fell to the floor, shattering into countless clouds of dust, and finally scattered on the floor.

"Know you better, understand you, understand your joys and sorrows. I thought I would take care of you, no matter what it is, body, mind, everything. I never thought that one day, I would say such bastard words like Huaihai. I'm no different. ”

He muttered to himself and shook his head gently at the wall in front of him. My heart aches like something is being torn to pieces, I don't want to stitch up, I once wanted to stitch up, but then I realized that threading the needle and thread and sewing them back together requires not only great courage, but also unbearable pain waiting for me in front of me.

It hurts to break, and the stitches are even more painful than when they were broken.

"You control yourself,"

His words continued, as if they were flowing naturally from his own mouth.

"One day, you didn't want to cry in front of me. You remember Huaiping at that time, I swore that I would not let you have any more pain, and shed tears for life, for others, and for anything. I never thought that one day, the person who hurt you would be me. ”

He sniffed and wiped his face.

"Really, I used to think I would be different. I either don't love, or I fall in love with a woman, the knife and gun are in storage, and the horse is put in Nanshan. The woman who married me Zhang Ruolei is the happiest woman in the world. ”

He looked up and faced the pale wall.

"I'm sorry."

He concluded, like a closing statement. I don't know how to respond, I just know that I have tears in my eyes, and I can't talk about forgiveness, maybe we are not wrong. Like Huaihai, it's not a scumbag, he just doesn't love me.

Like a person who kills an animal, he just doesn't love it, and he has no emotional projection for the other party, so he can take the knife with his hand. Man is animalistic and indisputable, and any denial is Mussolini in the face of the truth.

For example, when we slaughter a rabbit, we feel nothing for the desire to be tied, and we can't say that it is human cruelty, and people can't feel the despair, pain, and attachment to life of the rabbit. But if you let a child who has raised the rabbit for many years to start, he must not be able to do it, because he loves it, he has long fallen in love with it, and he does not simply treat the other party as a livestock, it is a playmate, a confidant, and can be alike

Accompaniment, you can pour out your heart, can cure loneliness. Killing it means killing a part of your own life, how can you not be sad?

There is a word in psychology called empathy. I don't think people can fully empathize with everything in this world, because the son is never a fish, and he will always know the joy of a fish, and he will always know the sorrow of a fish. Because it's not a fish!

Sub-fish. How pathetic.

I turned my head and burst into tears. It was only today that I suddenly discovered that our love is not as simple and strong as we have always imagined, and it is no different from other ordinary couples. Even, it is not much different from me and Huaihai.

Love makes me feel long, and love also makes me despair.

I know that I am shirking my responsibilities again, love itself is nothing more than nothing, no sorrow and no joy, it is two people in the so-called love, two people's understanding of love is very different, and their expectations for love are uneven. In other words, their love is originally different in their respective minds, and originally, it is not what the other party expects.

(End of chapter)