"Xiao Han?"

Zhang Ruolei said, "What? ”

He had the steering wheel in his hand, and I patted his arm eagerly, wishing I could go over and turn the steering wheel myself.

"Xiao Han."

I shouted.

"Zhang Ruolei, it's Xiao Han. I knew her so well that I could recognize her by a glance at her corridor. The red rental that I just past. ”

"Are you mistaken?!"

"Nope. Really, fast, fast, U-turn. ”

"How do you turn around this place? Get ahead of the intersection. ”

"It's Xiao Han, it's her. I won't admit to it. ”

Zhang Ruolei was silent and stepped on the accelerator. To the intersection where he could turn in front, he hit the steering wheel.

"I have a hunch,"

I held him by the arm.

"She went to see Xiao Ye. She must know Xiao Ye. ”

Zhang Ruolei looked at me.

"Why do you think so?"

"A woman's sixth sense."

Zhang Ruolei's expression told me that he thought I was unreasonable. But I was sweating down, and I don't know if I was nervous or excited. His palms were also covered with sweat, and his arms hurt.

Zhang said, can you not be so excited? It's not that I don't believe in your sixth sense. But the two of them are not compatible.

I was speechless for a moment when he asked, yes, they obviously don't get along.

"Besides, what are you looking for her? Shouldn't your grievances be settled a long time ago? If it weren't for her, we wouldn't be together. ”

I sat back in the passenger seat, and I hated to fly out of the window with my wings just now, but now I doubted myself in my heart. But isn't it Xiao Han? How could Xiao Ye have anything to do with her? It is true that Xiao Ye is an orphan, but Xiao Han has a source and a way to come, but he has not recruited his family since he was a child.

Moreover, does it still have any substantive meaning for me and her now if I meet her or not?

I even instantly made up the picture of me and her meeting in a narrow way, what did you say? Say hello to each other? She confessed to me? I graciously forgave her and told her that I'm doing well. Talking about college life without any worries? Or thank her for helping me avenge an arrow and finally let Huaihai get the retribution he deserves? Still is...... What I want to ask most by the way is whether she has ever slept with Zhang Youlei?

Thinking about these messy things before and after, it gave me a headache first, and I lost the heart to chase the suspicious rental before.

Zhang Ruolei turned his head to look at me, laughed at my childishness, and thought that one was one play. Ask me, do you go straight to the cemetery at the intersection in front of you, or do you turn back to the base camp?

"Let's go home."

I said, casually added: "But I think it's Xiao Han." ”

"No, let's go to the cemetery, no, we won't get out of the car, I just want to see if she is going to worship Xiaoye. If Xiao Ye's death has anything to do with her......"

"How?"

I sighed, put my hand in my hair, smoothed it with my fingers, and turned my head to look at Zhang Ruolei.

"I don't know why, I always feel that I owe Xiao Ye something, I always feel that she died unjustly, but I think this matter must have nothing to do with you. If her death is really not simple, I want to do something for her. After all, it's so unclear, I can't figure it out, why did Xiao Ye go to a dead end? Under what circumstances did she choose to die? ”

Zhang Ruolei didn't speak, and I didn't speak anymore. said that I wanted to let go, but in fact, I couldn't do it at all.

Just the night before, I dreamed of Xiao Ye. Xiaoye appeared in my house. The first time she came was not long after I bought this house, and she didn't change much, and she didn't appear in my dreams with a bloody face. But I knew she was dead, and even if such an image appeared in my dreams, it really scared me.

She stood two or three meters away from me, no longer moving forward, and just looked at me like that. She's still like that, with a bee waist, a peaked chest, and a beautiful bleach. When he saw me, he began to cry, tears flowed from his eyes, and he only looked at me and cried silently.

My heart softened suddenly, and I said Xiaoye.

I rushed over and hugged her, only to find that her body was cold, cold. Then I remembered that she was dead. I wanted to get up, but I was afraid that she would be too careful. But if she doesn't get up, I'm afraid that I will go different ways with her.

It was Xiao Ye who pushed me away. She still didn't speak, she still cried and cried, and looked at me, and then little by little she moved away from me, and then farther away, and then went out and disappeared.

I stretched out my hand and shouted, "Xiaoye!" And he woke up.

That night, Zhang Ruolei didn't come. I sat on the bed alone, woke up, turned on the light, my chest and back were soaked, as if I had just been fished out of the water, and I felt cold, as cold as ice cubes in the bed. I ran down barefoot, the heat was normal, and I sat on the floor again, my hands touched the floor, it was hot, but I was cold, and I felt like a big ice lump in my arms.

I picked up the phone and wanted to call Zhang Ruolei, but I didn't. It's so late, I don't want to rely on anyone, what if I don't have him in the future? I don't want to experience the heart-rending feeling when I was separated from Huaihai.

Relying on oneself, people live for a lifetime, who hasn't lived a lifetime with themselves? We always think that we can find a companion who will last forever and have the same heart, but who did it in the end?

And, I don't know why, since Xiaoye's accident, I always have a vague feeling that Zhang Ruolei and I seem to be coming to an end.

I forced myself not to think about it, but the thought was like a viper, spitting out crimson letters at me.

It threatens me!

Is the old lady afraid?

Of course I'm afraid!

The old lady was terrified.

The old lady can't wait to be a turtle with a shrunken head, she can't wait to cover her ears and steal the bell, and she can't wait to have a car accident and lose her memory...... However, as I got older day by day, I realized that life is a road from ancient Huashan, and I can only face it, and I can only climb up desperately.

The weather actually changed sharply, and there was scattered light snow, I opened the window, and the snow melted when it landed, fell on the body, fell on the human skin, and instantly turned into a small water idea.

The weather was cloudy and the wind was much stronger, and this was the first snow of the year. Is it for the leaflets?

In "Dou Moth Injustice", it snows in June. It's early winter in the north, and snow isn't a strange thing. God knows people's hearts, responds to the situation, and sets people's minds. The beauty, ugliness, conspiracy, trickery, and openness that should be in this world are all counted in his heart.

Far into the cemetery, the taxi stopped there, the trunk was closed, and the driver sat alone in the driver's seat, looking bored. Zhang Ruolei and I got out of the car and went straight to Xiaoye's cemetery, but there was no one. It is not worth the spring and autumn two sacrifices, the whole cemetery is divided into many districts, each district is only a few people, there are not many people in the place where the treasure burns paper money and sacrifices, there is only one, the new spirit, with half a car of sacrifices, people are wearing linen and filial piety, holding flags to lead the spirit, plus crying, making a mess.

Strictly speaking, Xiao Ye is also out of the spirit today, but it is far less lively than that ordinary family.

When she came, she was disliked, abandoned, and lonely. She probably didn't expect to die so coldly. I choked up and forgot why I went and returned.

With some tears in his eyes, Zhang Ruolei put his arm on my shoulder, and I knew that he wanted to comfort me. But how can this situation not make people feel cold? Zhang Ruolei handed over the tissue, I opened it, took out one, wiped the corners of my eyes, and returned to her cemetery, black marble tombstone, I looked at her name on the tombstone, this cemetery is also strange, the forest shuttles not crows, anti-magpies are more, the administrator said, there is often food, especially in winter, these birds are better than people, know where to be, of course, where to settle, they are not taboo about the living and the dead.

Snow, this time it has the meaning of gradually stopping. Is it that Xiao Ye remembered her in the spirit of heaven when he saw us going and returned to his heart, and he was reluctant to let us stand in front of her tomb and be cold?

How did you not ...... when you were alive

I choked up a few times, Zhang Ruolei hugged my shoulder, I knew that he was afraid that I would be too sad, but I still broke it out gently, I didn't want Xiao Ye to think that I was showing off my might with her.

Zhang Ruolei knew my thoughts, accompanied him, and didn't speak. I said, "In the future, we will worship her in the Spring and Autumn Festival!" ”

He replied, "Yes." ”

My eyes were red again, and I said, "In the past, I only knew that Xiao Ye loved to be lively, maybe she was a prophet, and she knew that she was such a fate, she was cold and lonely when she came, and she was alone on the road when she left." She's such a lively person! ”

I covered my face and finally cried. After so many years of grievances, Huaihai broke off with my husband and wife, Xiao Han snatched love with a knife, and lived alone with Huaiping rented a house, at that time there was no money, he was so poor, and he didn't want to disturb his mother's family, he rented an old dilapidated house before, and the old bachelor who slammed the door in the middle of the night, looked for a job to a new unit and was excluded and didn't dare to speak out, because he was afraid of losing his job because he was afraid of making a noise, Huaiping was bullied by his classmates and almost closed himself when he went to school, I begged the world to help him transfer to another school, and later helped Zhang Ruolei work, he wronged me into the detention center, Later, it was discovered that Huaiping was a drug addict......

I said in my heart, Xiao Ye, Xiao Ye, you have found a good place for yourself. People are pitiful who died early, but how can they think that those who are still alive and thin donkeys pull hard and carry hard support are even more pitiful!

I covered my mouth, and the wind tore my cries apart one by one, lifted in the wind, and disappeared into the invisible in an instant. Zhang Ruolei didn't come to comfort me, perhaps, only he understands me in this world, and only I understand him. He knew that I was crying not only Xiao Ye, not even Xiao Ye, I was crying for myself.

Am I dead?

But am I still alive?

In this world, how many people live worse than death!

And who said that great sorrow is silent?

Out of the cemetery, the taxi has long since disappeared. The position is empty, I see the emptiness, stay for a long time, don't feel cold, I am afraid of the cold people, a winter always hands and feet cold, just met Huaihai when we went out shopping, he will buy a roasted sweet potato for me to hold, this detail I have been remembering until now, at that time, I thought it was a love that can be repaid and remembered for a lifetime.

But did he really love me?

When I think of this, my heart is really sour. If you really love, can you do that when you don't love? How terrible human nature and human hearts are, and how unreliable the so-called love is.

What about Zhang Ruolei? He says he loves me now, but what about later? Do we really have a future? But what about the future? Still didn't make it to the end.

Zhang Ruolei turned on the air conditioner, and the car quickly warmed up, and I leaned my head on the back of the chair, thinking about it with my eyes closed. I also know that those thoughts are useless, and they can't solve any problems, but I am still willing to think about it like that. People, they all exhaust themselves to death like this.