They often do other things such as giving roses to others and having a lingering fragrance in their hands. For example, for the homeless, they will provide them with food on a regular basis.

Most people are kind, not full of anxiety and anger. Once the anger thing surfaces on the surface, there must be a reason, such as suppressing one's feelings for a long time, having no channel for catharsis, seeing too much of the dark side of human nature and society, having a strong sense of substitution, and there is a kind of person who is not aware of what is wrong with his three views.

For example, like Xiao Han, it is actually really psychologically distorted. I often see some literary and artistic works in which some people are psychopathic, or their childhood is unbearable, and they have been abused in various ways; or encounter injustice or more cruel things during their studies, which leads to a complete psychological collapse of their own minds; There are also some people who are frustrated in marriage and love issues, and since then they have either collapsed or become angry.

In fact, life has never been particularly kind to anyone, everyone has a similar experience, they are all ordinary people, there is nothing to sing and cry about, and there is no grandeur. But on the stage of each person's own life, we ourselves are the protagonists.

Later, I came into contact with the Dharma and learned a word called -----ego. One thought is attached to the self and thinks that everything about the self is right. Just this thought is like a leaf, enough to blind your eyes, so that you can't see Mount Tai.

I sometimes see people on the Internet saying that people want to see the world. But what is the real world? You have seen the mountains, you have seen the water, you have seen the warmth and coldness of people, you have seen the sinister world, it is not as good as you to see yourself. Take out your six desires, seven emotions, five roots, and all your thoughts and examine them yourself, and see them clearly, like looking at a stranger, instead of treating him as yourself. Maybe only in this way can you get a glimpse of yourself and know a little bit about yourself. If you still feel how good it looks, it's bad. You're not that good, you're not that bad.

Just like by chance, I chatted with Mason, and I said to Mason: I saw a video of Mr. Zeng Shiqiang Zeng giving a lecture on Chinese culture. Mr. Zeng said that smart people in this world bully honest people, but honest people don't starve to death, God doesn't hide traitors, honest people are covered by God, who is God bullying? Wise man.

Mason asked me with a flicker of his eyelashes and wide eyes.

"Isn't God supposed to bully the bad guys?"

"Who's the bad guy?"

Mason was silent, looking down in contemplation, and Orr looked up and smiled at me.

"There are no bad people, and they are all bad people."

When I looked back at him, I suddenly felt that he was not like my child, but more like a teacher and a friend. The so-called parent-child one-off, I used to think that it was just a grand disappointment, and I failed each other. Like me and Huaiping.

Now thinking of Huaiping, I can't help crying, he accompanied me at the lowest ebb of my life, but I never gave him the highest quality of companionship, at that time I always felt that the child as long as he did a good job in learning, everything was fine, I gave him great pressure, in the name of love, or in the name of hate. I told him to be equal, but I myself never treated him as an individual, or even neglected his soul. All my negative emotions were poured out on him without reservation

On his body, he is so small, he can't bear his own fate, but he is forced by me to carry the future or fate of me or our entire family, and it is no wonder that he is not crushed!

At that time, I used to blame Xiao Han and Mrs. Su. Now that I think about how immature I was, the person to blame the most was myself. He doesn't have so much pressure to look for things that he can't grasp to relieve his pressure, and he doesn't decide to leave silently in a corner of the world.

He may not have left because he was too disappointed in the world, but he had already collapsed before he could figure out what disappointment was. His one is not disappointed, but despair. I gave him life, but I made him feel that there was nothing to love. There are all kinds of beauty in this world, he didn't have time to appreciate it, and the greatest motivation of his young life was to please me. And yet I was such a hard mother to please. I always feel that it is not enough, such a huge black hole in my own heart, don't say one Huaiping, ten Huaiping can't fill it!

Huaiping has no cemetery, and the background color of his fate in this life is unknown, and he has never had a bright color. Or is there too? However, it is too little, even when I am still with Huaihai, at that time I am actually very emotionally unstable, I can feel Huaihai's change, I am not without anxiety in my heart, but I deliberately ignore it, choose to deceive myself, but this nameless anxiety is imperceptibly transmitted to Huaiping by me.

If I was the weaker person in that marriage at that time, then Huaiping had no choice. I'm an adult, and he's my exit. But what did Huaiping have? If he doesn't rebel again, if he doesn't choose to decompress in other ways----- in fact, since Huaiping left, I can't dream of him very often. Sometimes I dare not take him out, I bury him in a tomb in my heart, carved and painted outside, I only dare to look at him from afar, and never dare to approach.

I always knew I was sorry for him. He's not wrong, he's still a kid. I gave him everything he carried, but I actually forced him to the point where he came later, and I was the one who was most responsible for his death.

But no one in the world judges me, no one punishes me. There will also be people who will give advice and say that they don't blame me.

A person, you can deceive the whole world, you can deceive your own heart, but one day your heart wakes up, when you see how unbearable your former self is, at this time, your heart is like a knife cone. No, Ling Chi. Thinking about it, every second is Ling Chi.

People are sometimes stupid, the knife is in their own hands, and the blade is directed at themselves, and most people can't get out of the whole body in the drama of life, and almost all of them have to be blurred with flesh and blood. It is we who make ourselves hideous without knowing it.

If there is an afterlife, Huaiping, I actually have such ambivalent feelings for him. I want to make up for it, but I am somewhat afraid to meet my old friend, and I don't dare to see my old friend.

There are some debts, and I am afraid that it is this kind of hindsight. A deficit is a deficit. Some debts are not like you owe anyone eight cents, and you will pay it back.

No.

Huaiping and I, he has never failed me, but I will never have a chance to repay what I owe him in this life.

Life does not meet, move

Such as participants.

The gentleman does not dismount, but runs his own way.

What about Huaiping's future? Huaiping's future is ruined in my hands.

Oh, Huaiping!

People should really face the unbearable self in the past and always be vigilant.

In my heart, I mourn the deceased, who is my own son. The year of birth is detailed, and the year of death is unknown. To die, he was thinking about me, the person he was supposed to shelter. His father may have owed me a lifetime, and he paid it off all at once. It wasn't my intention, but I did it.

When I was young, I often lamented how unfair fate was to me, and now when I look at all the people around me, I sometimes can't help but sigh that they are actually my creation around me.

There are people in this world who have creation, and there are people who have not. Creation is the most mysterious person, or he can be like the hairs plucked from Sun Wukong's body, he can turn into thousands, and he will be by your side every minute. Some people are aware of his existence and laugh and say "hello" to him, but most of them are unaware and blame and complain all day long.

It's business as usual on my side, and what's particularly interesting is that the only person close to me turned out to be Xiao Han. We often talk on the phone or video, and Mason and her two brothers have gradually become familiar with her, Xiao Han used to like children a lot.

In the case of children, Xiao Han went through two stages: at first, she couldn't accept that her children died like that, and she was full of murderous intentions to the world, when she saw that other people's children had light in their eyes, but that light was a fierce light, and she hated to destroy everything she could destroy; Now she is much more peaceful, and there is light in her eyes when she looks at the child, it is a soft light, and her eyes are still complicated, but there is no fierce light, there are regrets, regrets, longings, and envy.

Once, when I was in a video with her, I half-jokingly and half-seriously proposed: Otherwise, let the two of them think you are godmother.

I still remember Xiao Han's expression at that time, he was surprised at first, and finally returned to calm and indifferent.

"Nope." She said.

"I'm afraid that if I get too much that I shouldn't get, God won't be able to take it. I shouldn't have it. It's good now, Are, he's a complicated role for me, and sometimes he's stubborn like a child. I'm fine now. ”

Xiao Han emphasized to me.

But I actually know she's not very good.

Her top boss is quite perverted, relying on her all day long, but he is always afraid and vigilant, embarrassing her everywhere, and sneering from time to time. I don't understand why she didn't change jobs, she had her own ideas, or like me, she felt that she had failed the whole world, and now she was wronged and had the right to atone for her sins.

Sometimes people reward themselves, sometimes they punish themselves. You can't stop it. Most people live in confusion all their lives, and most people remain in confusion until they die.

Life is a mystery, in fact, we can only do and cherish, walk in it, but do good things, don't ask about the future.

Other than that, there's really nothing else you can do.

We are painstakingly alone, or we are scheming, and we have exhausted our organs, and the facts have nothing to do with the development of life and destiny

。

It's just the same, God rewards diligence, and God doesn't hide treachery. The kindness that we least believe in, the cause and effect that seems to never be seen, has always been there.

Sometimes, people in the world are eager to be supported by others, hoping that they can meet noble people. Who is the nobleman? You are your own nobleman.

I didn't know what it meant to be "idealistic".

What has the mind created?

The law is man-made, how can it be created by the heart.

Now I understand, the heart, all-encompassing. The human heart is so big that it can include 10,000 elephants, what can't it hold? The good, the bad, the thoughts, the thoughts, the efforts, the sorrows and the disappointments, the resentment, the little heart. There's a word for "exhaustion." No, the mind is too much, love and hatred, suspicion and jealousy, anxiety or hesitation, or it is overjoyed.

People live, who do not have the heart of apes and horses.

In addition to her female boss, other colleagues are not very friendly to Xiao Han. She doesn't work well, but she is submissive, and she doesn't dress up much, and the last time I had a video with her, I found that she was dressed more and more like an aunt, which is not her style.

A woman has to go through a lot of mountains and rivers in her heart before she wants to return herself to the ordinary. It's not just about returning, but also being willing, and being willing may not be enough, she deliberately emphasized.

Many people want to show their extraordinaryness in their lives, but today's Xiao Han is different. I think she must have finally come to her senses, washed away the lead, and returned to the basics. The past cannot be traced, those ghostly figures wandering in the dark in the middle of the night, Xiao Han must not be afraid in the past.

It's not that she's not afraid, she's not willing to be afraid, and she doesn't let herself be afraid. There is a fundamental difference.

Now, those people came back to gnaw at her heart, and she was not afraid, but she was willing to bow her head and repent.

(End of chapter)