The Buddha said that there are eight sufferings in life: birth, old age, sickness and death, unwanted, resentful, love and separation, and the five aggregates are full of suffering.

When my mother was sick, I accompanied me in the hospital throughout the whole process, I was exhausted, especially she always thought that she was terminally ill, non-medicine stones can be saved, should promise me to do surgery but just for the sake of my filial piety, she was ready to go off the operating table, so those two days stuck to me sticky to death, refused to cooperate, did not sleep at night, drank tea, coffee, I was so sleepy that I couldn't walk and could sleep, but she just didn't sleep, pulled me and said that the east and west, the family is short, Chen sesame rotten grain, eight hundred years ago things are found out, Regardless of whether the weather is sunny or cloudy, it is necessary to turn them over one by one.

Once, I lost my temper with her and said, Mom, I have to go to work tomorrow, even if I don't go to work with you, there are a lot of things to deal with, can you let me sleep for a while.

She looked at me for a long time, and tears rolled down her eyes in those old eyes that I had stopped looking at for a long time. I thought to myself that she is really hypocritical, I support and stand alone in big things, she is my mother, she should be stronger than me.

At that time, I didn't understand that the word "old" was enough to kill people, especially the old people have fear of old age and death, they are not afraid of old age and death itself, but afraid of their powerlessness in the face of old age and death.

I only found out later, and at that time she wrote all the suicide notes. Explain everything clearly, and lay out the whole second half of my life according to her ideas. Looking at the letter, tears wet and blurred the handwriting on it, I knew that my mother's love was deep, and at the same time, I also knew that no matter how deep my mother's love was, there was still a lot of power in the end.

In the face of fate, manpower is too small.

When we were alive, we all thought that we had fought for our lives, but who knows, our lives have never been able to help ourselves.

I pushed Zhang Ruolei away indifferently, not wanting to see him acting in front of my eyes.

Life is a drama that is not fake, but the drama is true and true.

But his drama is fake, and his love is fake, so I can often jump out of the plot he set.

"I don't understand why you have to be with me, you have to have this child in my belly."

I turned my head to look at him.

"But since he is so important to you, and you destroy the most important thing in my life, I will definitely destroy the most important thing in you."

I held out my hand.

"Unless you tie my hands and tie me whole to the bed. Otherwise, not only will I not forgive you, but I will also make him unsafe. ”

My eyes were fierce, and I had been very haggard from eating and drinking for days, and my lips were dry and dry, and layers of white skin stood quietly on them, and with two fingers, I could peel off a layer.

Zhang Ruolei stared at me intently, as if he didn't know me, and as if he had just known me. He turned his back, and I knew he was pondering, juggling his measure, bargaining with himself in his heart, was he compromising with me? Or will you come up with a new reason to fool me?

Unknown.

I waited for a long time, but he gave up and shook his head, and I saw that his whole body collapsed straight down, and he no longer had the strength to fight against the whole world. Tired, tired, and tired. I remember when we were together

The vows that have been spoken are reminded of the grand blueprints we have drawn for ourselves.

Although the mountain league is here, the people are still there, and the brocade book is difficult to support, and now we have difficulty even communicating normally.

Outside the window, I don't know what day it is, it's autumn, and it's going to be deep winter in a few days. The leaves outside the window have not yet fallen, the sun is shining, and the sun is spread like gold, wrapping the world in a layer of gold.

The years are quiet, but people's hearts are constantly impetuous. When people are impetuous, we feel that the whole world is also in turmoil. In fact, the world is the same as ever, and people's hearts are always in turmoil.

But when the human heart is ugly, it loves to blame the world for all its sins.

He turned back to look at me for a long time, and I didn't catch his gaze. After a while, he turned around again and went out of the door, and I heard him tell me to take care of me carefully from the left and right, and the god at the door must have given me a detailed instruction. This new house turned out to be a real prison cell, and no one tried me, but I was almost imprisoned for life.

Many years later, I spoke to people about this experience. That man was an old man---- Mr. Zhou Da, and he had made a comeback at that time. Speaking of this experience, he was not without emotion. It is not only that I was in prison at that time, but also that no one, at all times, and everywhere I was in prison. It's just that some people are trapped in the prison of various desires or emotions without knowing it, while some people are willing to be imprisoned and trapped, and there are even some people who know that they are imprisoned but are unable to get out.

The old nanny stared at me 24 hours a day, and she hated to take me with her when she went to the toilet. In the afternoon, another newcomer came to the door, for me, or for the piece of meat in my stomach, Zhang Ruolei was really painstaking.

I started a hunger strike, how to bring things up and how to serve them. Zhang Ruolei was so busy that he hit the back of his head, I didn't feel sorry for him, seeing that he was haggard, tired, and exhausted, I didn't let him worry at all.

"Let me go. Let me go, you get rid of half of the troubles. ”

He looked at me, "How much do you want to leave me?" ”

I don't speak. I never thought I wanted to leave him. I only know that one of the most important purposes of my life now is to leave him. Everything that could make him unsatisfactory and miserable made me happy.

Let him suffer is my only joy in life and the meaning of life.

What he wants most, I will do my best to make him lose.

He understands it, too.

He always looked at me for a long time, and once I was groggy in the middle of the night, and when I opened my eyes in a half-dream, I saw that his starry eyes were as bright as stars in the dark night, and they were looking at me intently.

Am I a bone? Sit up, two pairs of eyes facing each other wordlessly in the dark night.

Neither he nor I spoke, only the silent air was swallowed up by us.

The breathless air was silently pulled by his and my snorts, until one of them was finally defeated. He lay down heavily, closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. After a while, the snort was steady. But I could not sleep any more, and I stood up in front of the window, and someone quietly put on my coat, and his hand was on my shoulder, and his palm was warm. I unloaded his grip and moved to the side.

"Sleep, night, cool."

He pulled me back, and I was fighting against him.

"When the child is born, will you let me go?"

"Are you willing?"

I bowed my head, my eyes teary, and my heart was like the weather in the rainy season, dark and damp.

"I have to be reluctant to give up, and I can't give up Huaiping."

I didn't want to be vulnerable in front of him, but in the end I couldn't control my heart.

Tears fell like beads of broken threads.

Zhang Ruolei tried to come up and hug me, I didn't hide, Xu Shiye helped me unload a lot of pretense of strength, I snuggled into his arms, crying so much that I couldn't help myself.

"Reluctantly!"

A whimper pierced the night, and I was on and off.

"I can't bear to know my mother. I can't bear it! ”

"Why?"

I fell into his arms, and the fountain of long-suppressed grief poured out, rising wave after wave and almost drowning me. I cried intermittently, sobbed, choked a few times, and almost gasped.

I stretched out my hand to "snap" my face, "Now I'm the only one left, I can't bear it!" What can I do if I can't bear it! ”

Zhang Ruolei grabbed my hand and tilted my head on his shoulder socket, and his lips had a faint smell of tobacco, which kept imprinting on my forehead and cheeks. I cried so much that I cried, "I want to see Huaiping, he is my son, I don't want that side to be my farewell to him, if he is really dead, I won't even see him for the last time." I don't want to see such a scene again, I didn't see my mother for the last time, Zhang Ruolei, who else am I! I want to live again, let me live again, I go back, see them again, be with them. ”

He kept rubbing my face, pressing my face tightly to the closest place to his heart.

"Meizi, Meizi, my heart is breaking your tears."

"With me, everything with me, will you trust me one last time?"

"Not good."

I fell into his arms with weeping weakly,

"I want to see my mother, I want to see Huaiping, I want to be with them."

I cried, and suddenly I broke free from his embrace.

"Let me die with them. I don't want to live anymore, what's the point of leaving me alone? ”

"Plums! Plum! ”

He was so busy that he grabbed me in a panic and hugged my waist tightly, and he was afraid that he would hurt the child in my womb too hard.

"I'll take you to see Huaiping!"

This sound was like thunder on the ground, and I looked at him with teary eyes.

"What you said is true?"

He nodded frequently.

"Really! True! It doesn't get much truer than that! ”

I grabbed him by the wrist with my hand.

"Zhang Ruolei, if you lie to me again."

"I ...... I ......"

He began to dodge my gaze again.

I twisted in resentment and turned to shake off his hand. He grabbed me back.

"Plums! I promise you, I promise, everything I say is true. If this oath is violated......"

"How?"

I turned my head to ask him for something.

He seemed to have a thousand entanglements in his heart.

Is Huaiping dead? Is the person in the video that Xiao Han gave me Huaiping? Is Huaiping now imprisoned by Zhang Ruolei or trapped by Zhang Fusheng? Who's telling the truth? It's true

Appearance? What role does our mother and son play in this drama of wealthy family grievances?

I stroked my belly, and the new life that was growing in it seemed to be moving without a baby, and he was communicating with me. These days he moves a lot, I can feel him wandering in my womb, sometimes I'm in a bad mood, he doesn't move for a long time, sometimes I talk to him, he moves back to me.

In fact, my heart has long been bound by this little life in the womb, but sometimes when I think about the fate of Huaiping and my involuntary body, I feel that it is not necessarily a good thing to bring him into this world, if his only mission to this world is really to save the lives of the children born to Zhang Ruolei and Xiao Han or Zhang Ruolei and any other woman, then ......

My heart was ruthless, and my hand was also on my stomach: he might as well not come to this birth.

If there is a slight movement outside the door, the nanny must have been awakened when she heard that our house was too much. A moment later, there was a knock on the door outside.

"Sir, is there something wrong?" ”

(End of chapter)