Chapter 2: The Obscene Taoist

When I wasn't thinking about the last words, I was lamenting that I was still a virgin.

But when I felt a calcium carbide spark in front of me, and my neck was loosened, I also heard a scream from the female ghost and the sound of glass breaking.

I'm not dead yet!

"Yang Yang." As soon as I arrived at the strong hand, I was relieved, although my eyes were still black when I was pinched by the female ghost just now, but in the place where the skin touched, I could feel that this hand was hot, no matter who it was, it was not a ghost anyway.

Soon, I came to my senses, my neck aching hotly, and I still had a pile of slimy stuff on my body.

"Grandpa?" After I woke up, I saw my grandfather for the first time, whom I hadn't seen for several years.

The moment I met the ghost, I knew the reason for the sudden call from my grandfather today.

Wouldn't you come earlier, if you come a little bit, you won't be afraid that your Yang family will end up cutting off.

"How's it going, it didn't hurt anything, did it?" I haven't seen my grandfather for a few years, and he still looks like that, but the skin on his face is getting looser and looser, and there are a lot more forehead lines.

"No, if you come a little later, your Yang family will be extinct, and you will want to hold a great-grandson in your lifetime." I'm not angry, if you come a day in advance, I also have a number in my heart.

I followed the sound of the fight and saw the scene that ruined the great glory of the Taoist profession in my heart:

A bald Taoist priest who fell from the sky, wearing a suit that could not be named, the pair of leather shoes on the soles of his feet that were rubbed with oil could be used as reflectors, and the hair on his head that was combed like a dogskin plaster was stuck to his scalp.

You tell me that this is a Taoist priest, this is clearly a lewd uncle, okay, put aside the appearance, after all, he was born like this, depending on the style, is that a demon exorcism?

The obscene Taoist priest took a wooden sword again, and while slashing at the female ghost, he stretched out his salty pig hand that even the female ghost tofu occupied.

Either touch it on the ass or pinch it on the chest.

Even female ghosts are flirting with you, you can be on the hot search.

But the problem is that it's a ghost, you look so crazy, you're fucking interested in ghosts, perverted, damn it.

"Tut-tut, you're nosy at this time" The black qi around the female ghost's body kept expanding, and she rushed towards the Taoist priest like crazy, driving the air to sound like a whistle.

"This disadvantage strength dares to put it in front of me" The obscene Taoist priest Xiao Mo weighed his fingers, dug out a bunch of ******** in his nose, flicked his hand, and flew out. At the same time, the obscene Taoist priest's whole person instantly bypassed the black qi and appeared in front of the female ghost, his hands quickly sealed, and he shouted: "One worship the first kan in Jizhou, and the second worship nine leave to Nanyang,

Three worship on the earthquake Qingzhou, four worship the unitary exchange over the West Liang,

Five worship Hai Qianyongzhou land, six worship Xun Xuzhou City,

Seven worship Shenkun Jingzhou boundary, eight worship Yin Gong Yanzhou City,

The disciples of the altar enter the middle palace.

A light wheel appeared under the female ghost.

The Taoist priest's handprint changed again, and his mouth read again: "Taishang Laojun taught me to kill ghosts, and I am a god." On the call for the jade girl, the collection is ominous. Mountaineering rocks are cracked, wearing seals. Wearing a canopy on his head, he is burly on his feet, supporting Liujia on the left and defending Liuding on the right. There is the yellow god in the front, and there is the Yue chapter in the back. The divine master kills, does not avoid the strong, first kills the evil ghosts, and then cuts the night light. What god is not subdued, what ghost dares to be? Haste as a law. ”

More than a dozen rune papers suddenly appeared on the female ghost's body, all concentrated on her chest and buttocks, and the runes on those rune papers also lit up, and accompanied by lightning visible to the naked eye, when they all gathered together, they made an extremely large amount of lightning.

He just put on talisman paper, why can't I believe it!

Squeak, squeak, when the obscene Taoist priest landed, the female ghost was already making a puddle of black water, in the black water, there was an electric wire flooding, the Taoist priest took out a piece of white jade, pasted a piece of rune paper on it, and chanted in his mouth: "Taishang Edict, super your lonely soul, ghost everything, four lives are gracious, the head is super, the headless is born, the gun is killed, the diving rope is suspended, the light death is dark, the wronged is surrendered, the creditor is wronged, the son of the child, kneeling in front of the stage, the gossip is shining, Zhan Ru is gone, the supernatal is the other, for the man and the woman, the responsibility for himself, the rich and the poor*, called by you, Wait for the public, hurry to overbirth, wait for the public, hurry to overbirth! Haste as a law"

The black water was like life at this moment, and it flew heavily into the air, circled around the piece of jade a few times, and finally poured into the piece of jade, and after a ray of light lit up, it disappeared.

At this moment, I don't know what words to use to describe my mood, feelings, when an atheist, seeing this scene, the third expression in the second line of the first side of the QQ classic expression is my current expression.

"How about apprentice, look at it," the Taoist priest shook the jade in his hand and said to me

That's not right, who's the apprentice?

I looked at the obscene Taoist priest with a look of obscenity.

"Alas, wait a minute, who is your apprentice, tell me clearly!" I grabbed the Taoist priest's hand, but found that the hand was called a fine-skinned tender meat, which was more a girl's hand than a girl's hand, and if it was paired with a handsome face, it was a small fresh meat.

But he ...... I don't dare to compliment.

Added up, it's called disgusting.

But up close, his skin is very good, and there is not even a single pit on his face. This is so that God gave him a good skin, but forgot to kiss his face.

"You, who else can I call, your grandfather." The Taoist priest looked at me with a puzzled expression, and then looked at my grandfather.

"Don't be surprised by that, my grandson doesn't know about it yet." Grandpa said with a smile. But I was surprised that my grandfather actually called him you.

"Oh, then explain it to him." He waved his hand at my grandfather and looked at me again: "Hey, don't let you know." My name is Dongmen Seventeen, and I will be called master in the future, you know no! Uncle Dongmen coaxed me

"Got it." I said angrily: "What about Chen Yi?" I looked at it and fainted, and there was a vague stench.

I looked around and pointed to the fountain on the side of the road: "You throw him in there, wash it, and the next time you see him, he will say that he has drunk too much, and he ran to the pool to take a bath, anyway, people don't know what they drink too much." ”

Although it feels like the reason is a bit far-fetched.

Anyway, it wasn't me who threw it in, brother, I'm sorry, throw it!

......

I was walking with Uncle Dongmen, and I approached the root of his ear and whispered, "Did you touch and pinch that female ghost on the sticker paper?"

When Uncle Dongmen heard this, he looked at me angrily; "Or else? You think I'm going to be interested in a female ghost. I was speechless at this sentence, and I quietly retreated to the side of my grandfather in the back.

In the back, I found Uncle Dongmen's hand, pinching something, as if looking for a feeling.

I smiled inwardly.

hehe

The devil knows if you're interested in ghosts.

......

As soon as I got home, the whole family was sitting there, and no one went to look for me, so I'm really not afraid that your Yang family will cut off the seeds.

Before I got angry, I saw the old man almost turn over the table: "Do you want to die, you don't answer when I call, it's always on the phone, tell me honestly, did you block me." ”

I seem to have the impression that after the last time I quarreled with my parents, I blocked them all in a fit of anger.

"I use other people's, I hit one, you hang one, and you dare to curse."

Well, this, I thought it was a harassing call, and I didn't answer it, and then I scolded the person over there for a dog blood sprinkler, and I haven't explained yet, the old man is still chattering there: "It's so bad that your grandfather is still running over from the countryside, and your grandma is still ......sick."

I hurriedly interrupted the topic and asked my grandfather why there was an inexplicable master when I was a child.

My grandfather told me that he took me to see my master at that time, and my master looked at me and told my grandfather to ask me to worship him as a teacher, otherwise I would not see him.

My grandfather was forced to take me with him.

My master didn't panic, he just told my grandfather that only he could control that ghost within a hundred miles, if he didn't control it, I wouldn't survive tonight, my grandfather panicked at that time, after all, it was a very shameless thing to worship a Taoist priest as a teacher.

My master told my grandfather that I was born to be a Taoist priest, and it was a destiny that could not be changed.

My grandfather didn't believe me, so my master took out a cinnabar pen and a piece of talisman paper and asked me to draw it, and I finished it easily.

Later, my master asked my grandfather to paint, and my grandfather thought to himself, what's so difficult about this, a half-grown child can draw, can he draw.

My grandfather clearly said how he felt at the time, the moment he picked up the cinnabar pen and put it on the paper, a warm air flow in the body slowly gathered all over the body to the nib, the cinnabar on the nib became more and more bright red, like blood, my grandfather tried to draw a few strokes on the paper, not half of the drawing, the whole paper instantly exploded into paper mist.

My master smiled next to me and motioned for my grandfather to continue drawing a few more.

My grandfather failed in all of them, and I drew a few more and they all succeeded.

My grandfather only believed what my master said, and then he sealed my heavenly eye and killed the frozen ghost.

After the grandfather finished speaking, he knocked on the thigh on the side before the master spoke: "I know that you think it is useless to be a Taoist, but the truth is not what you think, we Taoists take it as our responsibility to maintain the balance between the two worlds of yin and yang." ”

After listening to him, I thought to myself, hehe, it's useless to fuck anything without money.

"Okay, I'm leaving, you as an apprentice send me."

"Okay." I reluctantly sent this product out and greeted his ancestors for eighteen generations.

When I got downstairs, he handed me a piece of talisman paper and asked me to carry it with me, so that I could hide my heavenly eye aura.

I answered, carefully pretending, although I don't like him, but after today's incident, I know that there are really ghosts in this world, and I want to protect my little life.

"I'll give you one more thing." I saw him hand over a bank card: "I'm the first time I see an apprentice as a master, give a gift, there are 100,000, the password is 123456789, I know you think you can't make money as a Taoist, let me tell you, 100,000 is almost the money I get from doing a job, I tell you, doing our business is making stupid money." With that, he put his hands behind his back and left.

I stood there stupidly with my bank card, and suddenly felt that my master was not so obscene, a rich man, I damn it!