To love or not to love is sometimes not as complicated as we think, and it is not as simple as we think. Sometimes we can't feel love, and we can't see and see love, in love, too many people feel that they are born at the wrong time or have no talent, in fact, love has its own certainty.

Now every night, Zhang Ruolei and I go home early when we have nothing to do, and when I get home, he is full of sex, I feel that he is a kind of pathology, he himself doesn't care, saying that he does happy things with his lover, regardless of whether it is a catastrophe or a catastrophe, or a catastrophe or a peach blossom catastrophe. If that is the case, he will be doomed to me.

Such vivid and beautiful love stories make me want to stop.

In the morning, he often grabbed the bathroom with me, and once I saw him take a pregnancy test stick and scream at my morning urine in the toilet, I covered my mouth and nose and screamed nausea to make him normal.

He had no scruples about being exposed, and he swaggered every day with a pregnancy test stick next to me, I sat on the toilet, he took a broken pregnancy test stick and squatted next to me like a door god, his eyes were like torches, and he looked at me intently, and saw that my back was straight hairy, so he pushed him out of the door, saying Can I pee like this?

He said that there is no big deal about the old husband and wife, if you don't believe it, I can pee, I don't believe it.

He tried to pull me up, and then he started to take off his pants, which made me cry and laugh.

Later, it became a habit, and I couldn't go to the toilet normally without him by my side, but it seemed like something was missing.

In the third month, I was officially tested pregnant. Two red lines gradually appeared on the small and delicate white pregnancy test stick, his face turned from white to black, and then from black to red, and then he was very excited to jump high, and then picked me up, saying that I really have a son, I really have a son.

I said, how do you know it must be a son? Maybe it's a daughter.

He was not excited, and he began to be dishonest when he hugged my hand, saying that maybe it was a daughter, and I like my daughter.

Then he unfolded endless associations there, saying that maybe they were twins, a son and a daughter, in one step.

Then he slapped his thigh there and said that he had known what kind of multi-child pills he should take, so that it was possible to have twins, triplets, and quadruplets, so that I would not suffer another sin.

I said you think I'm an old sow, and he said if you're a sow, I'm your only boar, and no sow is disdainful of anything but you.

I looked at him like an alien and said are you sure this is complimenting me?

He was noncommittal, just imagining the future with all his might, saying that what about my son in my womb, what about my daughter, what if it was twins, what about triplets.

And since I became pregnant, he has become Yanagishita Hui, sometimes looking at me with his eyes, and sleeping with his eyes thousands of times, just not close to sleep.

When I was three months old, I said that it was all right, and he was in a hurry to take off himself naked, and his hands were wrapped around my body, his fingertips trembled, and his body trembled. The skin is like wildfire. The bodies of the two are like a sea of desire. I was also very excited, hoping that my hormones were different after pregnancy, and I was so eager for him.

I hugged him back, and my desire gripped him like a devil

I. The longing somewhere in the body is like the thirsty and parched earth longing for rain. He did the same, but he shouted the brakes at the emergency pass.

"I can't."

His crimson eyes pushed me away.

I gasped and said no, you can't, don't.

And he said, No, our son.

I tore at his skin, my fingers digging deep into his hair.

"It's okay, I've read popular science, it's fine."

He didn't follow, he still pushed me out, panting like an ox.

"When did you watch it? Didn't you think about it for a long time? Goblin. ”

The goblin was brutally left to his side, and then he went to the bathroom and locked the door from the inside, and I threw myself at the door and slammed it.

"What should I do?"

"Bear with it!"

He shouted at me from within.

"I can't bear it."

"Wait."

He shouted again.

"Can't wait."

I'll shout again.

"When my son comes out, I won't let you beg for mercy!"

"Zhang Ruolei! You bastard! ”

If it weren't for Xiao Han's video, maybe we would really grow old together.

I remember that day clearly, the wind and the sun were beautiful, the summer was strong, the northern summer was so hot and dry, every few days was a sauna day, if you don't turn on the air conditioner, you will sweat when you sit quietly and stay. At that time, the conditions were more difficult, and I began to wash his diapers before I was confined, and there was no one to wait for me in the morning and evening, so sometimes the joints hurt and I couldn't blow the air conditioner. Zhang Ruolei said that he would send me to a place with snow to save me from suffering, and the tickets should be ready, and the two of them were ready to leave.

I don't want to suddenly receive Xiao Han's email a few days ago, I am now more and more vigilant against her, click on it, and see that it is Huaiping, which is different from the Huaiping video that Zhang Ruolei gave me.

Huaiping is thin, with only a layer of skin wrapped around bones, like a skeleton. The two eye sockets sink deep into it, like a dry spring in the eyes. His skin was gray, a sign that death seemed to have been hovering around him for a long time.

"Don't!"

He was angry.

"Never let my mom see me like this."

He was on and off.

"Don't ...... Ahem"

He looked down, coughed violently, his shoulders shrugged, and I heard the cracks in his bones rattling like they were about to fall apart, like dry wood baked on a fire in winter.

Coughing violently, he reached out and pulled out a tissue from the side, gagged his mouth, and then unfolded it, blood.

I banged my head and felt like the world was spinning.

"Huaiping!"

I wept bitterly.

A cramp in my stomach.

Zhang Ruolei rushed over when he heard the news, his eyes were fixed on the computer screen, and his face was like Huaiping, like a leaf that fell into the soil in autumn and was sparsely washed, and he was gray.

He looked at me, then stepped forward and tried to turn off the computer.

Huaiping had gradually quieted down inside.

"Uncle Zhang."

"Uncle Zhang?"

I looked up at him with teary eyes.

Zhang Ruolei lowered his head, he didn't dare to look into my eyes.

"You lied to me!"

I can't believe how many people around me have cheated on me

？ Who can really believe it!

"Lao Bai!"

I muttered to myself.

"Even Lao Bai is lying to me!"

I cried out in despair. I hate that the heavens are too unjust.

I gasped sharply, my stomach spasmed after cramps, I stroked my belly with one hand, I think my face was horribly pale, because I saw Zhang Ruolei's face was the same as mine, and Huaiping on the screen. Pale and bloodless.

"Plums."

He exclaimed.

"Don't."

He held me and tried to come and help me, but I was so excited, I didn't know whether it was sweat or tears, and everything was messed up. I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe. Zhang Ruolei pounced and kept helping me sweep my back.

"Meizi, don't move the fetus, don't move the tire, as long as you don't move the fetus, you want my life, and I will depend on you if you tie me to your wrist."

"I beg you!"

He shouted and fell on his knees in front of me. Sweat fell to the ground with sweat on his forehead. I gasped, looked up at him, raised my hand coldly, and slapped him with a "snap".

He didn't hide, he didn't get angry, he came and grabbed my hand and beckoned him in the face.

"Only you are happy, plum, only you are happy. You hit me, you hit me, as long as you're happy. Huaiping is gone, we can't ......"

"What?"

Before the word "what" fell, my eyes were dark, and I only heard the sound of wind, thunder, and rain in my ears, everything seemed to be out of reach, and everything seemed to be a sudden storm.

"Huaiping?"

"Mom!"

"Huaiping?"

Suddenly, there was a bright light, and I blocked it with my hand.

"Plum!"

I tilted my head, and in the haze was a face I least wanted to see.

Tears involuntarily fell down the corners of my eyes, and I turned my head again, I didn't want to look at him.

Zhang Ruolei knelt beside my bed, holding my hand, and I tried all my strength to pull my hand back. But he held it even harder.

"Plum!"

Tears fell into my palms with his body temperature, and I turned my head, and after that, for a long time, I didn't say a word to him. He was always with me, often not knowing whether to talk to himself or to me, and I looked at everything in front of me.

I told him a word on the day I was discharged from the hospital, and I said that I wanted to see Huaiping.

He lowered his head and put my hand on his left cheek, silent for a long time.

Since then, I have stopped talking to him and may not have been at work for a long time. Most of the time I was in bed because the doctor said that if I got too emotional, I probably wouldn't be able to save the piece of meat in my belly. What's more, I'm not young anymore, and I'm next to an elderly mother.

The bed became the place where I hung out the most, and I often lay all day, my eyes as empty and boring as the ceiling.

Zhang Ruolei invited a special person to take care of me, a young female nurse, as soon as Zhang Ruolei left, she looked at me with strange eyes, once I heard her talking on the phone in the living room, saying that I don't know how the male host would fall in love with the hostess, she was determined to dress up beautifully, and she must put Zhang Ruolei on her bed.

A few nights later, I went to bed early, and when Zhang Ruolei came back, she tried to go with her hot body

To comfort him, I heard the silent duel between the two in the living room, and in the end, Zhang Ruolei must have won.

On the third day, the little nurse disappeared without a trace. In its place was another middle-aged woman. This woman is said to be from the countryside, and her face and work methods are rural and simple.

I still didn't talk much, and sometimes I wanted to laugh when I imagined that this aunt was also wearing scantily clad clothes and trying to seduce him into bed.

But as soon as I grinned, I thought of Huaiping, and when I was fine, I kept thinking, what about Huaiping? Is it really dead? How did he die? What is the truth?

It's a shame that many of the truths I sought in the first half of my life ended up unanswered.

I haven't seen him for the last time, sometimes I have hope, maybe it was also a play between Xiao Han and Zhang Ruolei, Huaiping is not dead. But I can't figure out what they're doing it for.

What about Huaihai? I've thought about contacting Huaihai.

Once I called Huaihai and called him secretly, I wanted him to be my helper, Xiao Ye, Su Bai, Aunt Zhang, anyone can die in vain.

It was then that I finally realized how cold I was.

(End of chapter)