How scared I was of being dependent on anything. Like Huaiping relied on that thing.

I went back, went to the hall, sat for a while, clicked on the TV, the TV was playing an anti-Japanese war drama, the gun was ping-pong, the faces of the people were inconsistent, in front of my eyes mechanical flash, there was a woman playing a female warrior, her clothes were so supportive, her eyebrows were picturesque, if the female warriors looked like this at that time, it would be strange that the other party was not peacefully evolved by us.

The current TV series are becoming more and more fake, and they are still following the trend, a large wave of anti-Japanese war dramas, another big wave of palace fights, and then youth idol dramas, which must be piled up.

Those who create no longer study art, no longer study expression, no longer study life or value, every day they only study the market, what most people like to see, what the market needs, they rush there, and then they fight for it, until no one has anything to eat.

You can never tell whether the producer is to blame or the market for this situation. The producer said that I would have no food without the market, and the market said that the producer should guide the aesthetics of our public.

Luo Quanjia, a lawsuit that can never be understood.

I went to take a shower, I felt a little tired when I came out, this is a good sign, I dried my hair and went into the bedroom, I didn't want to go into this bedroom, he was everywhere, the day he left, the next day I put away all his pillowcases, sheets, and quilt covers, and threw them away, and there was his smell on them, as if they couldn't be washed clean.

Maybe he just lived in my heart, so what I smelled in my nose and saw in my eyes was him, and he was everywhere.

I began to sympathize with and understand Huaiping, and understood why he chose to lie to me when he couldn't quit. I also tried to sympathize with and understand Huaihai, and when I understood that he really didn't love, I thought about another person, and at that time, compromising with my own heart would hurt three people.

It turns out that there really is nothing in this world that is unforgivable. If there is, it's because we don't know much about life.

I changed into a full set of new sheets and quilts, but the whole person got in, and Zhang Ruolei seemed to get in naked again. I cried, closed my eyes and covered my ears, begging God for mercy so that I forgot about him, and I didn't want to think about him anymore. Originally, marrying Lao Zhou was somewhat angry, but I didn't expect Lao Zhou to be so happy.

I know these old guys with a little money too well, they can sleep with any woman, talk about money and feelings, but they don't want to give in to marriage easily, they don't want to be tied up by any woman in the name of fake marriage.

I was sleepy and tired, thinking that I could sleep well, but I didn't want to start waking up as soon as I entered the bed, as if I had been tricked into something. It doesn't taste good. I turned over and over in bed, wondering if I should feed myself another little white tablet, two if not, or more. If you can't wake up until the next morning, it's nothing, and it may be a way to get out.

But as soon as this idea came to me, I firmly rejected it.

No! I can't die. At least not yet. Not even in such a way.

I won't die for him. He doesn't deserve it. Men are not worth it.

I hate myself more than I hate him. Wave after wave of hatred tore me from my heart, trying to tear me apart.

I cried again and got up from the bed, the quilt on my body with my body temperature, and the soft coat slid on the bed, clumping into an ugly pile.

I pulled my leg out of it, wrapped myself in my pajamas, ran into the hall, and took a bottle of wine from the wine cabinet, and I relied on it for a while. I stopped taking pills, but the amount of alcohol grew, and I could fall asleep at first with one glass, then two, and now I can't beat three or five glasses, so I hold the bottle in one hand and the glass in the other, and pour myself a drink.

Wipe out the turbid and transparent liquid, dry up my sorrows, and dry up the hurts, pains, and everything that life and fate have given me.

I took my wine glass and walked to Huaiping's house. Touch his mattress with his hand over and over again.

My Huaiping.

You're gone, too.

Is mom so unbearable?

You're all going to leave me?

I muttered and cried. I didn't realize that there was a person standing behind me, and when I turned around and scared me into discoloration, I threw away the wine glass in my hand, bounced away with my teeth and claws, and then saw the person who came, he looked at me, people always said that a person fell in love with another person, eyes can't deceive people, I walked forward, tilted my head to look at his eyes, he had me in his eyes, I was sure.

I looked at it again, and he had me in his eyes, really. It's just me. I can only see me.

I cried, and I burst into tears. Why does life keep making me cry? Do people always cry when they grow up?

I cried, thinking I was hallucinating. I must have missed him too much, I told myself not to miss him anymore, he is just a beast, the same animal as Huaihai, a beast, who would be serious about a beast? Then she is not as good as a beast.

Am I like a beast?

Do I look like such a stupid woman?

I'm not.

I ran to the living room, and there was a bottle of wine in the middle of the mess on the coffee table. A glass of wine comforts life, wine is a good thing, it is indispensable when you are happy, and it is indispensable when you are sad. People need it all the time.

Lo and behold, now, I can't sleep and it can come in handy.

Where's my cup? I staggered to the wine cabinet, took out another glass, and filled it with wine. Zhang Ruolei sat next to me, took my glass, took down my wine bottle. He took me into his arms, and I knew I should push him away.

I opened my eyes and touched his face with my hand, his face was a little cold, was he a real person or was it my hallucination? Zhang Ruolei lowered his head, and I put my arms around his neck. He put his hand in my long hair, I put my hand in his thick short hair, me and he both closed our eyes, life is too short, life is too short.

He picked me up, I said no, put me down.

He didn't listen, and strode towards the bedroom.

When I woke up the next day, my head ached slightly from a hangover. Little by little, everything from last night flashed back. I looked around suspiciously, and saw that there was no sign of anyone else coming.

Without Zhang Ruolei, there is nothing.

I deliberately ran out, only the broken glass fragments in Huaiping's room yesterday were still there, lonely and lonely on the floor of the room, I rubbed my hair, took a deep breath, and went out to find something to clean up. Lao Zhou called and asked me if I got up? Q: How did I sleep last night?

I said it was okay and he said he came to pick me up and bought me breakfast. I said no, no, I can. It's so early in the morning, you don't have to toss back and forth.

He said that he would feel sorry for people so soon?

I don't know if he can see my face red over the phone?

After cleaning up and washing, I felt that my eyes were a little swollen, and no matter how heavy the makeup was, I couldn't cover it, and the whole person was a little haggard. Time is a good doctor, and at this time, you will want it to go quickly, so that you can forget the hurt and pain as soon as possible and start again.

Lao Zhou appeared wrapped in the morning light, holding breakfast in his hand, as warm as Jesus. I'm starting to regret that I shouldn't have missed that conscienceless rich second generation last night. Maybe I didn't love him that much, just as he didn't love me that much. Maybe it's just that I'm not used to it, but I've been together for a long time, just like when I was with Huaihai, time has passed, and later, this person can no longer set off any storms in my heart.

Maybe one day, Zhang Ruo's traffic jam will be the same ending for me.

I don't have a habit of wearing lip makeup, I don't look ladylike, and I don't know how to do it this morning, but I have a good appetite. Lao Zhou watched me eat, and his eyebrows and eyes were smiling.

I never asked him what he liked about me. This seems to have asked Zhang Ruo about the traffic jam, and he hugged me at the time and said let me tell you. Then a whole big face swooped down on my face, like a giant seabird swooping down to the surface.

His lips were warm and moist, and he kissed me on the forehead, and said that I like it here, it looks like a plain, wide and large; I like it here, little eyes, and it's all me; You like it, you have a bit of a nose, you know? Like a wrinkled-skinned dog; I like it here, but I can't get enough of it; Love it......

Lao Zhou asked me, what do you want?

I said no.

I drank a mouthful of soy milk against my heart and almost choked out.

He helped me sweep my back, weird and awkward, I think people are really strange animals, the same action Zhang Ruolei does it smoothly, I and him are natural, I don't feel a little embarrassed, but he does it, I always feel that he is my elder or father. But I don't really have any special concept of age.

"Eat slowly."

Lao Zhou said.

I wonder if I didn't ask him what he liked about me, or maybe I didn't care if he liked me. Some people think that this is a kind of sadness in the relationship, but if you look at it from another angle, or this is the luck of a couple of men and women.

After eating, tidying up, we went out together, his car couldn't be parked in the underground garage, unlike Zhang Ruolei, he had a parking space here, Lao Zhou didn't.

When we left the community, we were surprised to see Zhang's car parked next to us, and he sat inside, staring at me for a long time and in silence. I think he must be crazy. Maybe some people just can't afford to lose, and I don't think he loves me, although I'm not sure if he really never loved me.

He seemed more and more like an enigma to me, and I couldn't guess what he was thinking, and I didn't know what he wanted to do next. Or maybe that's what attracted me to him. Every day with him can be unexpected. But even so, he was going to change his playmate, and he kicked me away, and there was no room for negotiation.

I got into Lao Zhou's car. Lao Zhou said that he may really love you.

I feel deeply embarrassed to let my fiancé say such things to myself, I feel a little watery, life is not about making TV series, I yearn for simple days. Especially after being with Lao Zhou, this feeling is getting stronger and stronger, maybe he has some characteristics and aura of a little old man, which is imperceptibly affecting me.

My wedding date with Zhang Ruolei is getting closer and closer, the people in the company are very entangled, I don't know whether I should go to my wedding, they are all wall-riding faction, I don't know what is inside, I will guess randomly, I guessed that I would be the second in this company, and now I have released a rumor and said, saying that I and Zhang Ruolei have completely broken up, not to mention that the Su family eats white rice?

On the side of the dragon's bed, how can you allow others to collapse?

I wonder if I suddenly became a demon concubine and a concubine, and I became a chaotic minister and thief. They were afraid that if they went to my wedding, they would be dissatisfied with Zhang Ruolei and the future proprietress of the future, and they were afraid that if I didn't come down in this position, it would be embarrassing for everyone to meet in the future.