I'm Nangong Lin, the Nangong Lin who is a moth to the fire.

I think, in the eyes of others, I am a princess born with a golden spoon, born in the Nangong family, the largest merchant in the Turks, and lived a life of fine clothes and food since I was a child, no worse than the royal family.

Others envy me for being pampered since I was a child, even in a place like the Turkic steppe that needs to rely on God to live, in the event of a natural disaster, I don't have to be upside down, I can always have no worries about food and clothing, and be held in the palm of my hand until I get old, until I meet the catastrophe of my fate, Yang Huai.

When I first met him, I had already heard the legend of him, the iron-masked general.

Yang Huai came from a family of generals, with strong martial arts, and made countless large and small military exploits for the Turks, but he has always stubbornly guarded the Chendang Pass.

Yang Huai didn't care about fame and fortune, he never smiled, and he didn't care about the people around him, and outsiders also respected him, he was just like this, as if he had no connection with the world, but I fell into his calm and deep eyes.

I didn't expect that I could be his wife so lucky.

In fact, I have always understood why Yang Huai chose to marry me, but I don't want to face the truth of the facts, and I have been deceiving myself.

The financial resources and power of the Nangong family are something that no one does not want to cling to, there is only one daughter in the family, and there is an endless stream of people who come to propose marriage, because I know their plans, I let my parents refuse one by one, until Yang Huai came to my house with the same reason, I compromised, I said to myself, even if he wants to use himself, I am willing, so that at least I am useful to him.

With this in mind, I got married until Chendangguan, and I kept wearing a red hijab at the wedding banquet, and I fantasized about countless futures with him in this red world.

Until Yang Huai came back drunk, I didn't understand why he seemed so sad and sad on such a happy day, and I heard him muttering a name, A-Ning, A-Ning.

At that time, I didn't understand, I just served him to lie down and sleep, and I sat next to him, caressing his sleeping face, trying to soothe his brow that was still nervous in his sleep.

Why is it still so restless in your sleep? I'm asking him, and I'm asking myself.

But that's right, I'm so naïve that I don't care about everything, except Yang Huai.

I think, for him, I am willing to stop being the eldest lady of the Nangong family, I am willing to wash my hands and make soup, husband and children, I see that his face is not as indifferent as before, even if there is no smile I want to see, but I think that I can definitely change him in the future.

But I was wrong, no matter what I did, what I did well, what I did badly, or even what I did excessively, his attitude was indifferent, and perhaps the greatest alienation was this, he didn't care about anything about me.

In order to make him notice me, I once deliberately broke the priceless jade carving that he liked very much in the house, but he only frowned slightly and looked at me, and there was no more follow-up, I also dragged him to the street like an ordinary couple, let him accompany me to buy things, let him accompany me to the field to pick flowers, let him accompany me to ride a horse, but he always had such an indifferent expression, like completing a task, I thought he was like this without any joy, anger and sorrow.

But I was wrong again, until Liu Ning came to Chendangguan with an injury, when I heard Yang Huai call her Ah Ning dotingly, call her sister, I heard the sound of my heartbreak, it turned out that this is the reason why Yang Huai has been rejecting me thousands of miles away.

During the days when Liuning lived here, I found for the first time that Yang Huaiwei's frowning brows originally contained so many emotions that were not easy to discover.

Only then did I know that he could laugh so happily, it turned out that he would be worried and distressed because of other people's pain, he would also prepare carefully because of other people's preferences, and even he would carefully prepare hangover soup for drunk people, it turned out that he was so gentle and affectionate, although it was not because of me.

I feel sorry for him, I am a woman, I can feel his love in every detail, I see my own shadow from his body, simply giving meticulously, but the other party is enjoying all this without knowing it.

Of course I was jealous and angry, I didn't understand why Yang Huai was like this, until I heard Liu Ning tell me about his childhood, I suddenly realized that I had missed so many powerless and unaccompanied times for him.

His most vulnerable years were not with me, so I have no right to dream of a future with him.

It's just that I'm not reconciled, I've done so much for him, and he still hasn't been moved, is there really a first come and a first come in love.

In this life, the worst decision I made was to tell Yang Huai and their plan to Jingli, because of my impulsiveness, I almost caused Yang Huai to lose his love and lose his life, and I am also glad that because of me, I saved their lives, I protected Yang Huai, and protected the people he wanted to protect.

I'm also glad that I was able to make the most rational decision in my life in the midst of pain and let them go first, but when I watched Yang Huai take Liuning's hand and leave, my heart was still like a knife.

I lay on the ground on the fire and watched them leave, the flames spreading, but I felt so cold.

I thought about it a lot, I thought about a lot of time with Yang Huai, I regretted it, I met, I was together, I was already satisfied, why bother with so many incidents, why didn't I know how to cherish it at that time, wouldn't it be good to be able to stay quietly by his side.

When I saw him come back, I was a little excited, and I thought that at least he would be reluctant to let me go, but when I asked him why, he didn't answer me, I felt a chill to my bones.

I knew he was using me, he wanted everyone to know that he was dying with me, but I didn't have time to be sad, I felt my life passing little by little, at least my last life was useful to him.

I comforted myself that he would not be so cold, at least my life would make him remember me forever, so that I would have nothing more to ask for, of course I did not dare to ask him if he had ever loved me, I was afraid that his answer would break my heart even more, and I could only use my last strength to tell him how much I loved him.

I'm very happy, this time he finally had an emotional fluctuation for me, the only time it was for me, even if it wasn't because he fell in love with me, but I finally touched him, thinking of this, I was relieved, at least my short life, the short time I was entangled with him and the way I smiled, were deeply imprinted into his mind.

My life ended like this, I was just a passerby in Yang Huai's life, but he was all the color in my life.

But I still regret it, I regret that I didn't close my eyes later, it's not that I still want to see him more, it's that I haven't said another word, it's dangerous here, leave me alone, go quickly.

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