Saturday is a good time to catch up on sleep. Qin Xiaotian slept until noon and got up slowly, anyway, she was alone in the dormitory today, and she could do whatever she liked. Lu Feifei took a car to Qingyuan relatives' house after work yesterday afternoon, and she could live a solitary life in the past two days.

Qin Xiaotian washed up casually, his hair was too lazy to be tidied up, he was sitting cross-legged on the sofa listening to music and nibbling on apples, when suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Who? Who will come now? Knocked on the wrong door, right? Qin Xiaotian put down the apple in his hand, got up lazily, opened the door and was about to say, "I went to the wrong door", when he looked up, he was stunned. It had never been expected that she and he would meet in this way, and this familiar person could not be more familiar than standing in front of her. Qin Xiaotian blinked vigorously, and looked carefully, it was really Yuan Dutian! Qin Xiaotian's body forgot to react for a moment, and he looked at the handsome person in front of him in a daze, even though he was tired. After a while, she asked blankly, "How, why are you?" What are you doing here? ”

They were frozen in the corridor like this, Qin Xiaotian forgot to invite Yuan Dutian into the house, and he didn't know whether to invite him in.

Just so caught off guard, Qin Xiaotian's hand was pulled by a force and thrown into a solid embrace.

"I want to see you!" Yuan Dutian's voice floated in Qin Xiaotian's ears, and it sounded so good that it seemed to melt the winter snow.

"Huh?" Qin Xiaotian was speechless, just hummed a question word. She still hasn't come to her senses, although she is in his arms, but is it really him? She had been thinking about it for a long time, and she had also fantasized about the person who suddenly appeared in front of her. Now the man was right in front of her, and, so suddenly.

"My colleague and I went on a business trip to Japan, and when I came back, I deliberately chose to transfer from Guangzhou, just to see you." Yuan Dutian's voice was very urgent but very light, for fear that his tone would be heavy and startle the person in his arms, and his speed of speech was too slow to express his excessive desire.

"Oh." Qin Xiaotian's heart turned a thousand times at once, and many complex emotions surged into her heart, blocking her chest and throat. At this moment, she couldn't even say a word. The grievances, sadness, humility, self-esteem, suspicion, hope, anticipation and other emotions tumbling in her heart made her unable to move, and she could only stand woodenly.

Yuan Dutian didn't care that the person in his arms didn't respond to him like a wooden man, rubbed the unkempt hair on the top of Qin Xiaotian's head, and asked softly, "Are we going to stand in the aisle all the time?" ”

Qin Xiaotian reacted at this time, and when he was in the aisle, he might run into colleagues from other dormitories of the company. But Yuan Dutian didn't mean to let go of her, he slowly pushed her into the door with her and closed the door with one foot.

Qin Xiaotian leaned against the wall, allowing Yuan Dutian to look down at her without hesitation. Time seemed to stand still, and the air around her froze, Qin Xiaotian didn't know how long she and Yuan Dutian had been standing like this, in fact, they had only hugged like this for two or three minutes. However, in Qin Xiaotian's heart, these few minutes seemed to have passed a long, long time, like a long, boundless dream. In the dream, she remembered that she had said that she would give him time and wait for him, but she was so cute that she couldn't fully possess the pain of the other party, which suffocated her and drove her crazy. But she didn't dare to tell him, she was afraid that if she said it, she was ignorant, that is, she didn't trust him, and it would destroy all the balanced relationships. Finally one day, she was tired and couldn't move, she thought about giving up on him countless times, giving up this relationship, but she couldn't let go, she couldn't let go of his love, his kindness to her, and her tenderness. All the contradictions ruthlessly tore Qin Xiaotian apart, but in addition to showing that she was very tired on her expression, she never said a word "tired" in front of Yuan Dutian. Until one day, she couldn't stand it, she really couldn't bear it, she hugged her mobile phone and called Tian Li to cry, crying about the resentment, injustice, suspicion, sadness, and a trace of expectation in her heart.

And now, the bad mood that has been in place for a long time seems to have gently turned into a bubble. She had thought that as long as he came, wherever she was, as long as he came to her and told her in person what she wanted to hear, she would be able to pass away. Now, this person who makes her hurt, makes her laugh, makes her crazy, and makes her jealous but can only pretend not to care, and makes her just want to escape, is alive in front of her. All she asked for was that, but he was in front of her, telling her that he missed him, or that he loved her.

Yuan Dutian let go of his hands and put his hands on Qin Xiaotian's shoulders, staring at each other like this with the distance between them two fists. Qin Xiaotian hadn't made eye contact with him so close for a long time, her uncertain eyes looked into Yuan Dutian's deep eyes, and she wanted to grab all his emotions and the information she wanted to express into her mind, but the deep eyes on the top of her head were full of too many complex emotions, making it difficult for Qin Xiaotian to figure out. The only thing Qin Xiaotian was sure of was that at least at this moment, at the moment, Yuan Dutian was thinking of her, and this kind of longing and joy erupted through his eyebrows, nose, and lips.

"Do you know how much I miss you?" Yuan Dutian's warm and unique aura turned back on Qin Xiaotian's face, the familiar aura that once made her intoxicated, made Qin Xiaotian a little dizzy, she had been fighting for a long time, but she was indulged in it at this moment.

Qin Xiaotian didn't nod or shake her head, she just wanted to take the opportunity to greedily suck the scent on Yuan Dutian's body. Yuan Dutian raised his hand and gently stroked the hair between Qin Xiaotian's forehead with warm fingers, then stroked her cheeks, starting with the knuckle of the bent middle finger gently rubbing against Qin Xiaotian's ruddy cheeks, and then covering half of her cheeks with her entire palm. Qin Xiaotian couldn't help but cling to Yuan Dutian's slightly rough palm. This unconscious reaction touched Yuan Dutian, he no longer wanted to restrain himself, and he no longer wanted to consider whether the person in front of him could accept his arrogance and unreasonableness, so he picked up Qin Xiaotian's face and kissed it without any scruples. Qin Xiaotian instinctively put her hands on Yuan Dutian's chest, she wanted to push him away, but in the end she could only sink into this kiss.

if he can be together, his Ren Jingya, she just needs now, now! Today, let her be willful, she rarely does what she wants, but today, why can't she be crazy? Why can't you be crazy about the people you love? Can depression, withdrawal, and entanglement finally free her? There was no real relief, she just tried to convince herself that it was okay to live this way, until the fake became real, until she became numb, until she thought she was doing well. But when this person appeared in front of him again, the psychological construction he had done to himself every day fell short.

After a kiss, Qin Xiaotian's cheeks flew with two plateau reds, and she was not together for too long, which made her a little uncomfortable. She was washing the apples, and when Yuan Dutian surrounded her from behind, the long-lost sweetness made her grin unconsciously.

"Hungry or not? Do you want to go out to eat? Yuan Dutian asked softly at the back of her neck.

"Eat an apple first, and then go out when I collect my things. Today I was going to go to the supermarket in the afternoon to buy something. Qin Xiaotian shrunk his neck, unable to hide his surprise and happiness.

"Then you don't have to change your plan, one more person to accompany you to the supermarket, and one more free labor." Yuan Dutian kissed Qin Xiaotian's neck.

Qin Xiaotian entered his room, painted his eyebrows, eyeliner, and lipstick, changed into a blue-green plaid woolen dress with a gray background, put on his bag, and walked out.

Yuan Mutian, who was gnawing on an apple, looked at Qin Xiaotian with a clean face in front of him, and only said two words: "Good-looking." Qin Xiaotian lowered his head and smiled.

Qin Xiaotian is indeed not the kind of girl who is eye-catching in the crowd, but she is beautiful, and she is very clean and delicate.

"By the way, how did you know I lived here?" Qin Xiaotian actually forgot such an important issue. She asked as she changed her shoes.

"I heard Chen Shaoyu say that Na Chunming came to Guangzhou some time ago, I think he should know where you live, so I asked Chen Shaoyu to help inquire." Yuan Dutian threw away the apple core in his hand and wiped his hands.

Qin Xiaotian said "oh", if she found Na Chunming, then she really should know where she lived, even if she mentioned the dormitory address to Na Chunming, Lu Feifei should have told Na Chunming the address.

Out of the door, Yuan Dutian bent his elbow and motioned for Qin Xiaotian to hold him, and Qin Xiaotian walked up and grabbed his arm. Qin Xiaotian took Yuan Dutian to eat Cantonese Chinese food, and the two went all the way to Walmart. Qin Xiaotian bought some Guangdong specialties and shoulder and neck massagers, and was about to take them home to his parents and relatives, when he was paying, Yuan Dutian took out his bank card, but Qin Xiaotian refused.

"I'm also a moneymaker now, this is the first time I've gone home for the Chinese New Year after working, and I want to use my money to honor my parents." Qin Xiaotian pushed back Yuan Dutian's card, Yuan Dutian felt that it made sense when she heard her say this, and put the card back in his wallet.

"Shall we send you back to the dorm after dinner, or will we have dinner when we go back?" Coming out of the supermarket, Yuan Dutian hugged left and right, with big bags and small bags on his body, he turned around and asked Qin Xiaotian.

"Let's go back and eat, otherwise it's hard to put and walk with so many things." Qin Xiaotian has always felt that shopping is actually a manual job.

"That's where the benefits of driving your own car come in." Yuan Dutian shook his head, a little impatient, but unfortunately this was not Xiangcheng, and he couldn't drive to shop. This is already the eighth taxi. It's just around dinner time, and I can't get a taxi at all.

"Don't worry, don't worry, I'll try again." Qin Xiaotian comforted him.

It was nearly 7 o'clock when the two returned to Qin Xiaotian's dormitory, put things down, Qin Xiaotian sat down on the sofa, and Yuan Mutian, who was supposed to be a guest, acted as the host and poured a glass of warm water for Qin Xiaotian.

"I'm so tired, I feel like my stomach is so tired that I don't want to eat." Qin Xiaotian drank the water and wiped his mouth.

"How's that going to work? The food has to be delicious, and besides, I'm hungry as a coolie. Yuan Mutian also drank his own water.

"Got it, I'll go down when I get some more rest." Qin Xiaotian straightened his legs and pounded his calves.

The two casually filled their stomachs in a nearby restaurant, and Qin Xiaotian wanted to send Yuan Mutian to the road to take a taxi back to the hotel.

"I'll take you back first, and I'll take a taxi." Yuan Mutian pulled her around.

Qin Xiaotian stopped: "No, I will walk this road every day, and I will send you to take a taxi first." ”

"Won't you invite me to sit down again?" Yuan Mutian began to play tricks, so he didn't want to leave.

Qin Xiaotian could still see this carefully, but if she really let him go to the dormitory again, she didn't know if she could hold it, and it was best to let him go back to the hotel quickly.

"No, you can go back quickly, otherwise I won't feel at ease." Qin Xiaotian took Yuan Dutian's hand and wanted to continue walking, but after pulling twice, he found that he didn't pull it.

"You really don't want me to send you?" Yuan Dutian confirmed again.

"Really!" Qin Xiaotian's attitude must be resolute. "I can go to you early tomorrow morning, but you can't be with me tonight."

Yuan Dutian knew what Qin Xiaotian meant, so he didn't force it anymore, but just asked her to accompany him. Qin Xiaotian agreed, and took him around the neighborhood a few times.

"Will you go back to Xiangcheng?" Yuan asked, this is what he has always wanted to ask.

Qin Xiaotian knew that this question would have to be faced sooner or later, and she had thought about it many times, but there was no definite answer. Seeing that Qin Xiaotian didn't answer immediately, Yuan Dutian said again: "Then I will often come to see you in the future?" ”

"You're so busy......" Qin Xiaotian couldn't say it herself, she wanted to say that he was too busy, and if he deliberately flew so far to see her, it would take time and money. But she knew that even if she said it, it would be useless, because Yuan Dutian probably didn't want to listen to it.

"Let's ......" Qin Xiaotian paused for a moment and asked differently: "How is Ren Jingya now?" What if she always wanted to be with you? ”

Yuan Dutian stopped, crossed Qin Xiaotian's body and faced him, his eyes were firm: "Jingya is recovering well now. ”

"That's because you're by her side." Qin Xiaotian interrupted him eagerly, didn't he? Ren Jingya is now willing to cooperate with the treatment because he is by her side.

Yuan Dutian sealed Qin Xiaotian's mouth with his right index finger and signaled her not to speak, but also told her that her statement was not entirely correct.

"She is not just me, I believe that Jingya will be fine in the near future, and she will face her heart squarely, and she will let go of her past self." Yuan Dutian put down his index finger, and his voice was still calm.

Qin Xiaotian didn't quite understand why Ren Jingya didn't just have Yuan Dutian by her side, she was only deeply concerned about how far they could go in the future.

"In the future, when will it be?" Qin Xiaotian was too eager for the two of them to have a future, and he was worried that they would have no future.

Yuan Dutian touched Qin Xiaotian's hair, and by the way, he helped her straighten her hair that was blown by the wind, and said, "It shouldn't be too long." After speaking, he put Qin Xiaotian's hand into his pocket and continued to walk forward.

Qin Xiaotian thought: It's good to be like this now, it would be nice if they could keep doing this, but are they destined to wait for each other? She's been waiting for more than half a year.

"Leaving tomorrow?" Qin Xiaotian's voice was soft, with a hint of reluctance.

"Well, the plane tomorrow afternoon. My colleagues have already returned to Xiangcheng, I can't delay too long, I have to go to work the day after tomorrow. "Yuan Dutian really wants to accompany Qin Xiaotian more.

"I'll send you." Qin Xiaotian really sent Yuan Dutian into a taxi like this.

The two slowly walked towards the main road, Qin Xiaotian waved goodbye to Yuan Dutian, and shouted to Yuan Mutian, who was about to get into the car: "I'll go to you tomorrow morning." ”

Yuan Dutian showed a mouthful of white teeth through the car window, nodded, and waved goodbye to Qin Xiaotian.

Early the next morning, Qin Xiaotian got up and went straight to the hotel where Yuan Dutian was staying, and happily waited for him in the lobby. The two held hands, pressed the road like ordinary lovers to visit the store, ate while shopping, and talked and laughed along the way. Passing by a jewelry store, for no reason, Yuan Dutian led Qin Xiaotian and walked in, originally just casually strolling, but after a while, Qin Xiaotian was attracted by all kinds of dazzling jewelry. She is very fond of a gold chain of saltwater pearl bracelets, the pearls emit a faint pink glow, and when viewed in the light, the surface of the pearls is brilliant. Without thinking about it, Yuan Dutian asked the clerk to take out the bracelet and help Qin Xiaotian put it on her left wrist.

Qin Xiaotian saw the price tag on the bracelet and immediately said, "It's too expensive." "Then it's time to take the bracelet off.

"Expensive? That's what you actually thought of? Yuan couldn't help but laugh out loud as she stopped her from taking off the bracelet.

"As a gift from me, I don't think it's expensive at all, wear it, it's beautiful." Yuan Dutian patted the back of Qin Xiaotian's hand dotingly.

Qin Xiaotian wanted to refuse again, but Yuan Dutian couldn't help but ask the clerk to open the bill, and the waitress hurriedly took out the slip with a smile and wrote it, while flattering Qin Xiaotian with a little envy: "Miss, you really have an eye, there are not many seawater pearls of this size, luster, and almost flawless, and they are really beautiful on your hands, and they set off your temperament." ”

Qin Xiaotian didn't expect that a bracelet could also bring out her temperament, and stared at the pearl bracelet in her hand, it was indeed beautiful, but her own sales skills to set off her temperament were too official.

After shopping, the two had a Korean meal, and then went back to the hotel to get Yuan Dutian's luggage. On the way to the airport, the two kept their fingers clasped. At the security checkpoint, Yuan Dutian put down her luggage, hugged Qin Xiaotian tightly, and seemed to ask herself in her ear: "When will you come back?" Or, if you don't come, I'll come. Before, you waited for me, and now I am waiting for you. ”

Qin Xiaotian choked up, trying not to make a sound, just snuggling quietly, counting Yuan Dutian's heartbeat. Yuan Dutian let go of her, imprinted a kiss on her lips in a grand manner, and then said in a very light and low cello-like voice: "Xiaotian, I don't remember if I said I love you, if I forgot to say that I love you before, then I want to tell you now: I love you." ”

Qin Xiaotian's body fluctuated slightly, and finally, she still couldn't hold back her tears. It would have been nice if she had heard these words earlier, so that she wouldn't have to toss and turn for so many nights, and she wouldn't have to be angry and sad every time she thought of Yuan Dutian, and her affection for him would be much deeper than it is now. Yuan Dutian gently wiped away the tears on Qin Xiaotian's face, kissed the corners of her eyes, and said goodbye to her. It would be nice if every separation could be so good.

Seeing Yuan Dutian walk into the security checkpoint, Qin Xiaotian was stunned, his body was fluttering, as if it was a blank paper full of words but meaningless. She didn't want to think about what she was going to do, whether she wanted him to go back to him, whether she wanted him to come to her, questions she used to have a dull pain in her chest just thinking about them. These questions didn't seem to be so important at this moment, because her heart was now full of that person.

This New Year is both lively and a little lonely for Qin Xiaotian, because it is the first time she went home for the Spring Festival after joining the work, and her family cares about her, and she can finally fight to pay for the class reunion. After the cold is lively, she always thinks: It would be good if Yuan Dutian was by her side, let him also come to feel the hustle and bustle of her here.

As soon as the beginning of spring passed, there was indeed the breath of spring, and green buds began to emerge on the plane trees, although the air was still cold, but there was no longer the harsh bones of winter. The spring in Yangcheng warmed up early, Qin Xiaotian still lived a busy day every day, and Lu Feifei also returned to the headquarters after the Spring Festival to work steadily for a month.

"You're saying you've reconciled with that lawyer boyfriend again?" One night sitting on the sofa chatting, Lu Feifei asked Qin Xiaotian, who was peeling oranges next to him, while eating potato chips.

"What a lawyer boyfriend, people teach law!" Qin Xiaotian almost wanted to throw her with an orange peel, but did not answer Lu Feifei's question head-on.

"Oh, it all feels pretty much the same, it's all about the law anyway!" Lu Feifei laughed facelessly.

"What about you and that Chunming? Did you take him down? Qin Xiaotian stuffed a petal of orange into his mouth.

"It's coming, it's coming! Why do you care about this? Are you worried that I won't be able to marry or that he won't be able to marry a wife? Lu Feifei impatiently shook the plastic bag in her hand.

"I'm worried!" Qin Xiaotian laughed wildly.

On the first Tuesday of March, Qin Xiaotian remembered very well that after the company's annual meeting that day, she had to write an internal manuscript. Clicking on the mailbox, there was an email from an unknown sender lying in the mailbox, although the company used an English name, but she was not familiar with this name. She felt strange, clicked on the email directly, read the two sentences, her heart trembled, but she still insisted on reading the not too long email.

The email was sent by Ren Jingya, she didn't know how Ren Jingya had her email address, and she didn't care, she only cared why Ren Jingya sent it to her, what did she want to tell her?

She read it word by word, and read the whole text with a restless heart:

Hello! Qin Xiaotian, I'm Ren Jingya. Actually, I already knew about you, once Luo Qingtian inadvertently mentioned on the phone that he saw Yuan Dutian with you, I don't know if it's a woman's unique intuition, I think maybe Yuan Dutian likes you. So, as soon as my condition stabilized, I wanted to come back immediately, partly because of my family and work, and partly because I wanted to see him, and I wanted to know if he was doing well. Sometimes I hope that he can be good without me, and sometimes I hope that he is not good, so that he can remember our goodness and not forget me. Maybe I still overestimated myself and the relationship between us, and I didn't say goodbye to him at the beginning, which caused him indelible damage, and I knew that he might not accept me again, but I still wanted to try, I wanted to tell him the pain of not saying goodbye at the beginning. But when I saw you together, I didn't expect that my heart was out of control.

Yes, I still love him, so I want to stay with him, and my illness makes it impossible for him to leave me, because I know that he is an emotional, responsible, and righteous person, and he will never leave me alone. At first, I enjoyed being taken care of by him, I started to cooperate with the treatment, took my medicine well, and slept much better than before. But then I found out that he was suffering from insomnia, I knew too well what sleeping pills were, and I saw the small pill box in his bag, and the white tablets were also what I used to eat. I know, it's because of you, he's been in a state of insomnia because I've been forced to separate from you, suppressed thoughts about you, and the pressure of the project during that time. I don't think he told you about it, he doesn't want people to worry.

I started to think about my relationship with Twilight, I wanted to be with him, but I wasn't incorrigible, I didn't want him to be wronged to fulfill me. I plan to take the advice of my attending doctor and return to the U.S. for a while for treatment before returning to my home country to continue my work here.

PS: Twilight shouldn't have been taking sleeping pills during this time, I think it probably has something to do with you.

Ren Jingya

Qin Xiaotian's eyes were wet, she didn't know that she was in tears, she forgot to wipe her tears.

“Hey，Ti

A, what's wrong with you? Is there something uncomfortable? Cici, who was sitting across from her, walked over from the opposite side and was startled when she saw Qin Xiaotian with tears on her face, and hurriedly came over to care about her.

Qin Xiaotian realized how out of shape he was, and quickly pulled out a few pieces of paper and wiped his face a few times. Facing Cici, who looked concerned, he tried to regain his composure and said: "I'm nothing, it's just that I just saw a report of a person who moved China and was infected." She had no choice but to lie.

Cici breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, "That's good, it really scares me to see you like this." ”

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm sorry, you go get busy!" Qin Xiaotian was very embarrassed because he disturbed other people's work. Seeing Cici sit down, her mind ebbed and fell. I read the email a few more times, so Ren Jingya was planning to go back to the United States, Yuan Dutian actually took sleeping pills to fall asleep, but she didn't know that she felt sorry for Yuan Dutian and blamed herself at the same time.

In the evening, she couldn't help but call Yuan Dutian and told him about Ren Jingya's email, Yuan Dutian was silent on the other end of the phone for a long time, and said: "Jingya didn't tell me that she wanted to go back to the United States, I think, I should have a good talk with her." ”

Qin Xiaotian agreed, she thought that it would be good for both of them to talk openly and honestly about the past and present of the two, so that Ren Jingya would not return to the United States with a psychological burden.

"Twilight, do you have insomnia?" Qin Xiaotian asked very carefully.

Yuan Dutian was silent for a while before he said, "Sometimes." ”

"When?" Qin Xiaotian asked.

"Think about the time when you can't sleep."

Qin Xiaotian was stunned, he was like this, but she didn't know that maybe when she was tossing and turning and couldn't sleep, he was the same. Qin Xiaotian's heart tightened, and he was immediately deeply moved.

"Then you are not allowed to take sleeping pills, and if you can't sleep, you will run around the school twice." Qin Xiaotian wanted to jokingly bring over this heavy and sad topic.

"I only eat occasionally." Yuan Dutian honestly admitted.

"It's not okay to eat once in a while!" Qin Xiaotian ordered.

"If I could see you and hear your voice, I wouldn't have to take any medicine." Yuan Dutian's low and seductive tone on the other end of the phone tickled Qin Xiaotian's heart.

"Not serious!" Qin Xiaotian reluctantly dropped three words.

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In April, the grass grows and the warbler flies, and the sun shines brightly with the solar terms, Qin Xiaotian strolls under the green ginkgo tree, smells the fragrance of the leaves and rain, closes his eyes, as if this ginkgo tree with a small green fan is the world. After nearly a year, she walked in this ginkgo forest again, just like when she entered school a few years ago, in a comfortable mood. Although she only took advantage of the busy time to visit her alma mater during her business trip, who knows if she will meet that familiar person when she turns around?

We sometimes care too much about our own or other people's feelings, often ignoring the true nature of our feelings, and we often struggle with what to do. Worried about the present and the future, worried about the slim future, hopeless feelings, entangled in the past, obsessed with whether that person will still be waiting for us in the same place. But have we ever wondered: Have you ever waited for someone in the same place? Or do you keep looking back as you go forward? Just to find out, will that person wait for you all the time?

Life is like this sometimes, it won't give you a satisfactory answer, but who says you can't make a good answer? Qin Xiaotian thought like this as he stretched out his five fingers and looked at the clear and bright sky. She, Qin Xiaotian, no matter what the future holds, now, she just wants to respect her heart, run hard, and run in the direction where she thinks she is happy now. Even if this happiness is full of holes after many years, at least, she has the present; At least, she doesn't have to dwell on regret about the past in the future.

Qin Xiaotian's steps became brisk, and in the warm spring breeze, she opened her arms and shouted, "I'm back!" ”

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(End of book)

Digression: This week, I changed from more than 20 chapters to the last chapter, and it was very hard to change, staying up late every day (I actually stayed up late when I didn't write novels). Fortunately, it has been basically revised, and there are inevitably still mistakes and omissions in the released chapters, so please bear with me. In the process of revision, I found that my emotions had to enter the situation of the novel again, and then look at the overall structure, text expression, and ideological and emotional conflicts of the novel, which are actually not good, there are many shortcomings, and the emotions of some characters, I think they are not well expressed. The text of each chapter is too long, and it should have been split, but the time and energy are limited, so it can only be updated according to the original framework chapters for the time being, and some of the text descriptions are a bit far-fetched and full of rhetoric. However, after all, it is the first novel written by myself in the true sense of the word, incorporating the stories and emotions of myself and the people around me, and it can be regarded as an explanation for my lost youth.