The autumn night is deep, there is no moon on this night, everything looks so lonely, and the evening breeze blows slowly. He Beichen walked to the window, he simply opened the window, and let the evening breeze blow towards his cheeks. The boy looked up at the night sky, and he stood still, and after a long time, he seemed to be a little tired, and left the balcony and returned to his desk.

He Beichen opened his workbook, but he didn't have the slightest desire to write today, the boy picked up the pen and wrote two strokes very casually and felt bored, he raised his head, and his eyes couldn't help but be a little lost. The diary on the side attracted He Beichen's attention. The black snap button was inevitably a little old, and it looked like it hadn't been opened for a long time, Bei Chen's heart couldn't help but be stunned, and suddenly there was an urge to open it. Therefore, some of them could not help but open it, his eyes were full of tiredness, and he looked at the diary that he had thrown aside, and there was some urge to record, and the young man thought about it, and the ink in the water-based pen immediately went down, leaving lines of handwriting on the white paper:

"It's been a long time since I've written a diary, and somehow I really want to put pen to paper today. I've been really tired lately, and at this point, I can feel that the gears of my brain are no longer turning, but unfortunately, it has to deal with a lot of tasks. Now I only feel a dull pain in my head, and it seems to be confiding in me, but unfortunately I am really powerless. As my homework increased day by day, I could clearly perceive that I was struggling, physically and mentally exhausted, and so overwhelmed.

Sometimes, I really want to give myself a vacation, but every time I want to do it, I feel an inexplicable sense of guilt, and my mother's punishment for me makes me even more afraid. The pain in my knees is still fresh in my mind, and the scars on my cheeks haven't faded away, and I feel an inexplicable disgust at the face I look at in the mirror every day.

I have not once complained about why I grew up in such a family. The more I grew up, the less I realized my mother's love. The cold reprimand and the severity of her punishment of me made me feel extremely chilled, and the feeling of pain eroded my body all the time, and I sometimes wondered why I was living in such pain. My mother would tell me that because you are better than your peers, because you are outstanding, you are going to be admitted to the best university in China. But every time she told me that, I felt like a cover. In fact, I don't want to have any halo, and I don't want to go to the best university.

It may sound ridiculous, but I do. I was always the one who didn't fit in at school, and I had few close friends except for Eucalyptus, and everyone looked at me as if they were looking at an alien, so I couldn't help but feel a little alienated from me. This made me feel very depressed, I was lonely, but no one could understand my loneliness, after that rain, I fell in the mud, I fell completely ill, this made me feel more relaxed than ever, I thought, in this way, I can have a chance to breathe, but when I woke up, I still felt the pain that I could not escape, which made me see myself more clearly, and I saw reality clearly.

He Beichen, perhaps, you are like this, you are a person who is bound, but you are so helpless about this. But there seems to be no end to such bondage, and after three years, will it be a relief? Maybe not. The boy had not spoken to himself for a long time, but when he wrote it, he realized that his heart was so uncomfortable. Without too much pause, the boy went on to write:

"My mother will be married in a few days. Although I don't want to, but I have to bless her, she has been uncharacteristically happy and gentle recently, but these are for Ze Zhixun. It seems rude to call him that way, but in fact, I really want to beat him up if I could. The thought of Ze Zhixun becoming my stepfather gives me an indescribable sadness. This reminds me of my father from time to time, and I have the impression that he loves me very much. But now my mother wants another man to take his place, and I am naturally unwilling.

If so, Ze Zhixun can treat me better, but it's nothing. It's just that the man's eyes are always full of hatred when he looks at me, he scolds me for being a, he says I shouldn't exist in this world. After thinking about it, I think what Ze Zhixun said is very reasonable, because in this world, my happiness is really too little, very little, I even want to end my life in the past, but unfortunately, I don't have the guts.

So, when this man hit me in front of my mother, I didn't fight back. I had a lot of blood in my cheeks that day, and the pain burned me. I had to lean against the wall, but even then Ze Zhixun's hand did not diminish in the slightest, and tears in my eyes slipped from the corners of my eyes, along with the blood on my face, fell on the floor of the hotel. The mother, on the other hand, sat there very indifferently, and the look on her face showed that she was indifferent to the matter. Even, it can be said that she supports Ze Zhixun's approach.

I really hated myself, this layer of skin always made me feel pain, and I couldn't help myself. A few days later, Ze Zhixun came to my house with dignity, and he scolded me loudly and kicked me out of the house with dignity. That day, I came out of my house in the rain for a long time, and it seemed that I really lost my mind. And when I woke up, I didn't see my mother's figure, she just said silently that I deserved it, for some reason, I should have been numb to all this, but there was still a little chill. But when I saw her, it all seemed so indifferent. When he wrote this, the corners of He Beichen's mouth couldn't help but smile a little, and the young man's mind appeared with a beautiful face, her beautiful eyes could always make him see hope, and then his cheeks couldn't help but become lighter.

"When I first met her, her hair was scattered very casually, and she smiled at me, which gave me a sunny warmth. Slowly, I got to know her and I started to find myself liking her. You're not the prettiest girl, but you're my girl. He Beichen wrote, his eyes became more and more gentle, the water-based pen in his hand became more and more light, and the pen and ink flowed naturally on the white paper:

"もし わたしが雨だったならそれがforeverに交わることのない空と大地を繋ぎ留めるように、者かの心を繋ぎ留めることができただろうか。 (If I were rain, would I be able to connect someone's heart in the same way that I would connect the sky and the earth, which will never meet?) He Beichen wrote, and the beautiful Japanese font was constantly presented in the boy's diary:

"遠く離れていても、あなたの気持ちは、手に取るように分かります。 私はあなたとこんなに遠く離れていても、あなたの考えは分かります。 (No matter how far away I can feel your heart close at hand.) No matter how far away I am from you, I can understand your thoughts. The wind outside was loud, but it was not enough to disturb He Beichen's thoughts, perhaps, this is what it feels like to fall in love with someone. Even if I am not happy today, when I think of her, I will feel an inexplicable comfort.

"朝早く起きてぼんやりした目を見たい、鼻恫沿って、あなたにしっかりとつながれたい。 毎週土曜日、日曜日の日差しがきれいな朝を過ごして、すべての楽しくない風に切られて、あなたがいてよかった。 (I want to see your eyes in the morning in a daze, I want to outline along the bridge of your nose, I want to be held tightly by you, and I want to live every Saturday and Sunday when the sun is just fresh and the air is fresh, as if all the unhappiness has been cut by the shuttle breeze, it's so good to have you.) There was light in the boy's eyes, Beichen hadn't been so happy for a long time, but when he thought of her, these sad things became insignificant.

"であなたは最も優秀な人ではないかもしれないが、しかし私はあなたを好きになった時、あなたは私の世界の唯一の唯一です。 私は愛が自由になることを知っていて、私はむしろあなたの身の回りに殘て、あなたに付き添って、あなたに付き添って歩いて。 (You may not be the best person in the world, but when I fell in love with you, you were the only one in my world.) I know that love needs to be free to be happy, but I would rather stay by your side, be with you, and walk with you. ）

The boy seemed to be a little satisfied when he wrote this, and He Beichen put down his pen and carefully studied his diary. Beichen was very tired today, but he was also happy, even if he was a little tired in his eyes, he was a little brighter.

Outside the study, Xie Lan was discussing marriage with Ze Zhixun, but these no longer meant anything to He Beichen. Even though he was tired, the boy's brain seemed to be alive again.

"Beichen, have you finished your question? Bring it and show it to me. Xie Lan's shout came from his ears again, but this time He Beichen didn't feel the slightest disgust, "Oh, no." I'll hurry. ”

As he spoke, the boy couldn't help but yawn, and opened the workbook on the side and began to write.