In an instant, Shen Pearl and Li Shi had been staying in Luoyang Palace for seven or eight days. As soon as she arrived in Luoyang that day and was placed in the palace Zhuang Jing Palace, she sent a letter to Li Jiao, but Li Jiao did not say a word to her except for sending a imperial doctor to Luoyang. She knew he was genuinely angry, but what else could she do? She was in a corner of the room, deceiving herself, but she was no longer blocking his journey.

Only the heartache is that she can't stop it, and the imperial doctor always shakes her head for her pulse and says: "The princess is too depressed, her spleen and soil are stagnant, and there is no harm in everything." ”

She smiled calmly until she saw the doctor away. She walked through the unfamiliar streets and alleys of Luoyang, watched the snow and stars in the cold winter, or cooked a pot of tea and waited for the dawn.

She had never been so idle, never so lost, never so empty.

This world is so close to Chang'an, and so far away, there is no Li Li, no imperial power, however, it seems that he is everywhere, and it is the hidden world.

On December 19, early in the morning, all the palace maids came up to congratulate the birthday. Shen Pearl knew that it was Yan Minglu's tone, and when she saw that everyone was affectionate but disrespectful, she ordered to purchase more dishes and drinks, and serve everyone well for dinner.

On this day, it was a rare good weather after the snow, so Shen Pearl took Li Shi to Zhemiyi Mansion to play. Li Chengyin and Zhemiyi did not live in the palace, but lived in the palace of the king of Tonghufang.

Walking on his shoulders was not slow or hurried, Li Shi was embraced by the palace maid, shouted and lifted the curtain, and poked out his little brain to look around. The New Year Festival is approaching, coupled with the good weather, all kinds of goods and goods on the street are full of goods, and the city people and women are bustling with each other. Shen Pearl looked at her son with a smile, feeling happy for a while and melancholy for a while.

Zhemiyi's face was much more ruddy than a few days ago, and when he saw Shen Zhu, he smiled and sent Li Chengyin to take Li Shi to play. Although the uncle and nephew have known each other for a short time, they are very compatible.

Zhemiyi said: "Li Chengyin's injuries have recovered, and we are ready to go to Chang'an tomorrow." ”

Shen Pearl was faintly disappointed: "So fast? ”

"One is to pay homage to the emperor, and the other is to pay homage to the emperor," she smiled generously, "The New Year is approaching, and I heard Cheng Yin say that we still have a lot of etiquette to do to the uncles and kings!" Although she and Li Chengyin have been married for a year, due to the fall of Chang'an, they have not officially met the princes and the kings of the clan, and this etiquette must be seriously made up anyway.

Zhemiyi said helplessly: "You Han etiquette is really numerous, you really want to exhaust me!" "That's the case, her expression is relaxed and natural, she is open-minded by nature, and she doesn't take it to heart when others are cautious, even if there is a big mistake in etiquette, it is not a matter in her heart.

Shen Pearl really admired her temperament and said: "The grassland, the desert, and the Gobi are really beautiful!" ”

A ray of bright color flashed in Zhemiyi's eyes: "Yes, when Cheng Yin and I have done our best in Chang'an, we will return to Dunhuang." There is freedom, we can ride horses, hunt, and watch the stars and moons......" The words were infinitely longing, and he took Shen Pearl's hand and said: "It's a pity that you were in the bitter cold in Huifu back then, and you couldn't appreciate the beautiful scenery of the north and south of the desert." ”

Shen Pearl smiled slightly: "There are many beautiful scenery in the world, I am indeed too persistent." ”

Zhemiyi was overjoyed when he heard this, looked left and right, and saw that Li Chengyin led Li Shi to play and walked away, grabbed Shen Zhu's hand, and said in a low voice: "If you change your mind and are willing to go to the desert, the Khan is waiting for you at any time!" ”

Shen Pearl realized that she had misunderstood what she meant, her face turned red, and she said embarrassedly: "You are really talking nonsense!" ”

Jemiyi sighed and said, "I see how you look lately, although you refuse to tell me, you are indeed very sad and sad. I have said a lot to you before when I should advise you. You always have your own calculations, never listen to me, after I and Cheng Yin left, you are very lonely in Luoyang, but it is really worrying. ”

After having a simple dinner at the Pig King's Mansion, he was pulled by Jemiyi to talk until late before returning to the palace.

On her fingers, this is her sixth birthday after marrying Li Li.

On her first birthday, she was designed by Concubine Zhang Shufei and Dugu Jing, and was captured by Mo Yansi, and spent it unconsciously in the bitter cold and blindness outside the plug.

On her birthday in the second year, Li Jiao had already said that he would celebrate her, but the day before the sudden civil rebellion in Shaanxi County, he was temporarily ordered to travel.

On the third birthday, coinciding with An Lushan's rebellion, she was pregnant, and Li Jiao went to Tongguan to guard.

On her fourth birthday, she was imprisoned in this Luoyang Palace for An Qingxu.

On her fifth birthday, Li Jiao led the army to recover Chang'an and Luoyang, and she was not by her side.

It turns out that time flies, there is no trace, how many six years can there be in life?

The palace maid peeled off the palace lamp and slowly led the way in front, the light in the inner room was cold, the wind passed, and the heavy curtains were blowing and flying around, and he was seen sitting in front of him in a trance. She walked a few steps, and it was still a heavy curtain dancing in all directions, and the huge inner room made it even more empty and lonely.

Nothing.

Such a big world, endless affairs, and **.

If she waits, if she waits, she can only be disappointed.

Just like her, she was going to have the heart of "I'd rather die and break my wings than divide the clouds", but this may not be so important to him.

Yet she had no other choice.

Women, do they have to sink for love all their lives?

The only way to choose is to continue to love and continue this life.

There are so many beautiful things in the world, and she is indeed too persistent.

It hurts clearly and clearly, so it hurts more thoroughly.

On December 20, Su Zong issued an edict: Wang Yu of Guangping County was the captain and entered the king of Chu; The king of Nanyang County was the king of Zhao, the king of Xincheng County was only the king of drums, the king of Yingchuan County, and the king of Dongyang County; Feng Zixuan is the king of Xiang, the king of Qiqi, the king of Sizhao, the king of Tongxing, and the king of Dongding. On the 21st, several princesses were canonized, among which Li Wu was canonized as Princess Hening. Suzong has not canonized the princes and princesses since he ascended to the throne, in order to wait for Xuanzong to return to the government, but the military power is already in the hands of Suzong, how can Xuanzong not know the current affairs and then ascend the throne? After welcoming back Xuanzong from Shu and obtaining various succession seals, Suzong's name was justified, and he sealed all his children one by one.

By December 27, no one in Chang'an had come to welcome Shen Pearl back, and Shen Pearl seemed to have no intention of returning to Chang'an. or that the king of Chu and the princess fell out of harmony, and the princess fell out of favor; or that the princess misbehaves and gives and receives from others privately, and will be deposed; There are even rumors that Li Shi is not the son of the king of Chu, and the rest of the words are even more unbearable.

The people in Luoyang Palace originally served Shen Pearl as the future princess and queen, and after such a rumor, everyone's eyes on Shen Pearl were somewhat different.

Yan Ming happened to hear a few rumors, and he was furious, and replied to Shen Pearl indignantly. Before listening to his words, Shen Pearl interrupted: "Since you also know that it is a rumor, why bother to increase your anger in your heart." He also said: "I have something to do with you - the New Year has arrived, Shi'er is the eldest grandson of the emperor, and he must go back to Chang'an to serve the emperor, and the emperor should keep the New Year's system, so you can escort him back!" ”

Yan Ming agreed, knowing that Shen Pearl would not go back, but he was worried about Shen Zhu's safety. Shen Pearl said with a smile: "There are a lot of guards in the palace, you can only go back and forth for three or two days, it should be no big deal." ”

On Chinese New Year's Eve, Luoyang Palace was very lonely and cold.

In addition to Shen Zhuzhu, there are many former court concubines, princesses, and county lords who were taken captive to the court by An Lushan. At that time, An Lushan in Chang'an City did not have time to escape, the good appearance of the concubines, princesses, county lords, women, palace maids, etc. all transported to Luoyang for their sexual pleasure, and then Luoyang recovered, many concubines, women returned to Chang'an or their own mansions, and the palace maids were pardoned by Suzong and let them go home, but there were still some women who were afraid of facing humiliation and did not want to return to Chang'an, and Luoyang stayed behind and temporarily placed them in the palace to live.

At that time, the two capitals are recovering and the festival is coming, it is the time for the whole world to celebrate, but these women in the Luoyang Palace have self-pity for their lives, which increases the sadness, in addition to the palace maids, how many people have the heart to put on the lanterns to spend this festive night? More often than not, several people gather together, reminiscing about the joys of the past, thinking of the pain of today, hiding their faces and whimpering, or crying.

Shen Pearl sent away the palace maid and walked slowly in the palace ban, tonight the stars are scarce, only the palace ban outside the house set off firecrackers "crackling", "crackling", endlessly. Prosperity and loneliness, joy and sorrow, are often separated by a thin line. The world loves the former and avoids the latter, but they don't know that in this encounter and escape, half a lifetime of time has passed quietly.

What is there in a person's life that can be grasped in the palm of his hand?

Shen Pearl looked at the starry sky, and in this gap between joy and sorrow, her skirt moved slightly, and she unconsciously walked to the entrance of the forbidden garden.

There are guards guarding the entrance of the forbidden garden, but the forbidden garden is very small, it is difficult to compare with the Chang'an Diyuan, and now the forest is withered and few people enjoy it, and the forbidden garden is not open to the outer door, which is not the focus of defense, and the guards on duty tonight do not know where to hide and drink lazily.

Shen Pearl walked alone into the Forbidden Garden. Sure enough, the forest was sparse, and occasionally one or two leaves fell to the ground, silent, Shen Pearl took a deep breath, and suddenly felt refreshed and comfortable. Especially in the past, there were always several people behind me, and every move had to be paid attention to and not lose its posture, which was really tiring. Today is Chinese New Year's Eve, and you can always be free.

She walked deeper and deeper, but she was not afraid. When you are tired of walking, there are rockeries and springs, stone tables and stools before meeting, which are prepared for recreation and rest. Pick up fallen branches from the ground and gather them in one place, but fortunately the weather has been good recently, and those branches are easy to ignite. The fire slowly ignited, she slowly squatted on the ground, leaning on the stone bench, her heart was very quiet, looking up at the changes of the galaxy, she actually fell asleep.

At the beginning of the beginning, she was warm and warm on all sides, sleeping very comfortably and peacefully, and gradually the cold air hit, and her limbs became colder and colder.

This awakening, she knew that it was not trivial. The midday sun poured down, and I slept for so many hours without realizing it. Sure enough, listening attentively, there were faint voices of palace maids and guards calling for "princess" in the distance.

Hurriedly walked out of the forbidden garden, was facing several palace maids stretched their necks to look around, when they saw her, they were really several times more happy than picking gold, and they stepped forward to help, and one said: "Where is the princess, the slaves and maids have been looking for a night, but they are really scared to death!" One said: "Your Highness has arrived, and you are in a hurry to be furious!" ”

Entering the hall, I saw that from the inside and outside, a large number of people knelt under the black pressure, all of them held their breath and did not dare to speak. When he looked up and saw her come in, his expression stretched out a lot, and he stepped forward to meet her, grabbed her wrist tightly, and scolded angrily, "Where have you been?" Luoyang is not a place to live, if anything goes wrong, you call me-"

Shen Pearl saw that he was covered with dust, he should have just arrived, and before he had time to rest, he found that she had lost her trace, and she was too anxious. My heart is both grateful and sad. Lowering his head and gently withdrawing his hand, he said in a low voice: "Let Your Highness worry—"

Li Jiao's face changed, his brows were furrowed, and he waved impatiently to the palace maids who were kneeling all over the ground, and a group of people walked away cleanly in an instant.

Shen Pearl was silent, and took two steps forward to personally untie the robe under his neck for him. Li Jiao saw that her face was thin, and her face was white and there was no trace of blood, and under the residual anger, she felt guilty and pity, forced herself to stabilize her internal breath, and said in a deep voice: "If I had known that this was the case in Luoyang Palace, I would have taken you back to Chang'an no matter what." He grabbed her shoulders, paused, and said, "This period of time...... Indeed, I am too busy, and your birthday ...... Anyway, I'm very sorry for you. ”

Shen Pearl pulled the robe into her arms, walked slowly to the inner room, and said to him: "Shi'er is okay......"

smiled lightly, and finally couldn't help but say: "You and I have been married for five years, and there is still no difference between five years ago and today." ”

Li Jiao couldn't help frowning when he heard her words say strangely: "What do you mean by this?" ”

Shen Pearl turned around and looked at him with a smile: "Five years is like a day, isn't it good!" ”

Li Jiao's eyes were gloomy, staring at her, pursing his lips without saying a word, quite sullen. After a while, he stepped forward to help her to the couch and said, "I know you have a deep grudge against me. You have been in poor health recently, today is a good day for the New Year, I don't want to argue with you, you have drunk medicine and sleep again, I will accompany you to enjoy the lanterns at night, and we will pack up and go back to Chang'an tomorrow. He spoke unquestionably, simply ate a little meal, and watched her drink the medicine. The prescription prescribed to her by the imperial doctor has always had the ingredient of calming and sleeping, although she had just slept with it, she fell asleep soon after drinking the medicine.

When I woke up, it was already dark, and Li Jiao was not around. I asked the palace maid and said that His Royal Highness went to the direction of Feixiang Hall alone. She secretly wondered to herself, the Feixiang Hall had always been vacant, what was he going to do there? The Flying Incense Hall was very close to here, so she put on a dress and slowly paced there.

The Feixiang Hall is a grand building, and the princess of Taiping in the previous dynasty must live here every time she comes to Luoyang. Although it is vacant at this time, Shen Pearl will always detour every time he walks by. Step by step on the jade steps, close to the main hall, Shen Pearl felt very uncomfortable, as if there was a foreign object in his throat, waved to the palace maid, turned around and was about to leave.

However, the faint voice of speech in the hall reached her ears at this time.

“…… You and me...... Leave it at that......" The woman's soft voice was extremely familiar, and there was a lot of complaint in her tone.

"You'll have to take it slow." Li Jiao's voice was very low.

The woman sighed faintly and said, "His Royal Highness cares about Sister Shen, and he is really envious of ......" When she said the word "Sister Shen", her voice increased slightly by half a degree, and Shen Zhu's heart tightened in horror, and her left hand unconsciously firmly held on to one side of the temple door. This woman turned out to be Zhang Hanruo.

But hearing Li Jiao's silence for a moment, he still said in a low voice: "The imperial doctor has already said it...... She's too weak for me to grieve her again......"

Shen Pearl heard the sound of something in her chest, clear and harsh, like a broken string, and she couldn't hear the words below.

At the beginning of the new month, the palace lights flicker, and the carved eaves are picturesque.

However, it is not the bright moon of the old days, and it is not the scenery of the year.

She slowly reached out to her chest - it didn't hurt, it didn't hurt at all, it didn't hurt at all.

What is that noise? Is it a broken heart, or is the heart torn apart?

It's nice to be sluggish.

It's good, it's good, everything can be torn apart, everything can be shattered, it's good, it's good.

Five years ago, he hid from her everywhere, and now he still hides from her everywhere.

It turned out that she was so completely wrong - she was just his rib to it.

Now that he has a beautiful woman by his side, why should she beg him for mercy.

He accommodated her everywhere, but he felt guilt and pity, but because she was the mother of the right child.

What is she still doing here? Since there is nothing left, why not leave quietly.

Even if she persists until now, she has nothing left, and she must leave with dignity.

She turned sideways, raised her eyes, a smile appeared on her face, and made a gesture to the two attendants. She saw that the palace maid was full of horror, and seemed to step forward to help her. She laughed secretly: Could it be that her face is very bad and scares them?

She pushed the palace maid away and walked down the jade steps by herself, one step and two steps steadily......

You're all too worried, I'm fine, nothing.

A fishy sweetness welled up in her throat, and she stopped and opened her lips and spat out......

"Ahh Princess, it's terrible! ——" The palace maid behind him screamed.

She turned around and looked blankly at the palace maid - what nonsense! Dizziness hit his head, and he leaned against the jade railing and stood steadily. Raise the sleeve and wipe the corners of the mouth lightly, and the sleeve is dyed with a small piece of bright red in an instant.

It's just spitting out a mouthful of blood, what's the fuss?

As if nothing had happened, she slowly wiped the scarlet from her lips.

"Boom-" The door of the hall opened, and she saw Li Li and Zhang Hanruo appear at the door.

She actually smiled at Li Jiao. Li Li's eyes were deep, looking at him from a distance like this, I really didn't know what he was thinking. Is it hi? Is it anger? Is it stupid? Is it worrying?

So how close? How about holding the hand of the son and sharing the pillow with the son?

The result is the same.

Zhang Hanruo's face changed, and he said, "Sister Shen......"

Li Jiao pulled Zhang Hanruo's arm and said in a broken voice: "Don't go quickly!" ”

Zhang Hanruo was stunned for a moment, took a few steps back to the back of the hall, and then disappeared without a trace.

"Pearl," Li Li walked towards her quickly, with a little panic in his words, although it was dark, he could still see her pale face. He said anxiously: "Don't misunderstand! ”

Shen Pearl shook his head with a smile and staggered back two steps towards the jade steps. The blood and qi in his chest surged, holding the railing with one hand, and stroking his chest with the other, and spit out two mouthfuls of blood with "wow".

What else could she do? She can finally give up completely!

Li Jiao's expression changed drastically, he shouted her name wildly, only to feel that his heart and lungs would burst instantly, and his body was as swift as thunder and lightning, rushing towards her, and at the moment when she was about to fall, he lifted her up and took her into his arms.

"It's my fault, it's my fault!" He had never been so frightened and panicked in his life, his mind was blank and he couldn't choose words, he only said in a loud voice: "You don't want this, you can't be fine!" ”

But her body was so delicate and cold, she met his eyes, and she looked at him indifferently, as if looking at a stranger. Then he saw that her eyes were gradually dimming and slowly closing. He was so horrified that he could only call her name repeatedly.

Suddenly, she opened her eyes, and her eyes were like water, and the waves reflected people and regained their vitality. This gave him a delusion, and he increased his hope, bowed his head to meet her face, and said in a trembling voice: "I know, I know...... Pearl, you scare me, you won't ......"

Shen Pearl used up the last remaining strength, attached it to his ear, and said word by word: "Remember, I told you - if I leave one day, you must treat Shi......'er well" "Uh", a mouthful of blood spurted out from the side of his head, and the sky and earth were dark, like falling into hell......

(Tianjin)