"The Salesperson of the Shroud Shop"

Chapter 30 Multifunctional Funeral

Wu Yu gently pushed Yu Chen beside him, and asked blankly: "Brother, how do I feel that woman is smiling at me, and how do I seem to have seen that smile somewhere!" ”

Yu Chen didn't glance at Wu Yu, and walked into the Zhao family's compound without saying anything. Wu Yu scratched his head and hurriedly followed, only to see Yu Chen walking to Xiao Song's side: "I lost that compass, bring me the spare compass I asked you to prepare." After the team set off for a while, you quickly brought all the liquor of the Zhao family and followed at the back of the team. ”

Xiao Song seemed to be accustomed to Yu Chen's style of never explaining, and nodded to prepare without asking anything. Yu Chen looked at Wu Yu with an expression waiting for an explanation and smiled: "Brother-in-law, you don't have to look at me like that, I can't explain everything to you clearly, it's not conducive to your own thinking." Since you're here to learn, you should see for yourself instead of asking me. ”

Wu Yu nodded helplessly: "Count you ruthless, then should I go to sit in that carriage now?" ”

Yu Chen shook his head: "Don't worry, there is also a coffin ceremony!" Wait until the ceremony is over before the coffin can be carried to the car, you can take a look at this ceremony first! I've done nearly 100 funerals, and the only thing that I find interesting is this coffin ceremony. ”

Wu Yu was stunned, it was the first time he heard that carrying the coffin would also have a ceremony. Just as he was about to go over to take a look, he saw Xiao Song walking over quickly and put a compass in Yu Chen's hand, looking at the appearance of the compass, Wu Yu wanted to laugh a little, it turned out to be the cheapest plastic compass on the stall, and what was even more ridiculous was that there were some English letters on the compass.

As soon as Wu Yu wanted to laugh, he was glanced at by Yu Chen: "Brother-in-law, can you have some quality, it's just a compass with serious piracy, just look at your expression and know that you plan to laugh at me." ”

Wu Yu couldn't help but laugh: "No, I'm afraid that the Zhao family will see you fooling them with such a fake thing in a while, and they will be able to bury the two of us in anger." ”

Yu Chen was too lazy to deal with his brother-in-law, who had a lot of questions, and said to Xiao Song: "Go and prepare for the coffin ceremony!" Strive to bury the body before tonight. ”

Xiao Song nodded, turned around and walked to the front of the mourning shed and shouted, "Everyone come here, and we will prepare for the coffin ceremony immediately." All the immediate family members knelt in front of the mourning tent, and the other relatives and friends stood behind the immediate family. ”

The originally busy people hurriedly put down their work and gathered in front of the spiritual shed. Wu Yu roughly calculated, there were about 200 people gathered in front of the funeral shed at this time, among which there were about 50 people brought by Dai Xiao, but he didn't expect that there were so many people in the direct family of the Zhao family.

Seeing that everyone had arrived in front of the spiritual shed, Xiao Song began to chant some words of praise for merit, which was nothing more than some thanks to the old lady for her love for the birth and nurturing of her children, the care of relatives and friends, etc., Wu Yu almost didn't fall asleep when he listened.

Fortunately, Xiao Song also knew that Yu Chen was in a hurry to bury the old lady, and after deleting most of the prepared words and sentences, it took about ten minutes to finally get it done. Next is the resignation, and the relatives should come one by one or one by one according to the order of the master of ceremonies to kowtow to the old lady's coffin, and pour three glasses of wine for the old lady to sprinkle in front of the coffin. The most interesting part is that whether you are careless about the deceased or not, whether you are sincerely sad for the deceased's departure, you must cry loudly until you die and come back to life, and the people on both sides will help you up.

Xiao Song stood in front of the mourning shed with a bundle of lighted incense and handed them out to those who came to kowtow one by one. Seeing these people crying in front of the old lady's coffin one by one, Wu Yu was also sad for a long time at first, but when he saw these crying people kowtowing and being helped up by the people on both sides, some of them talked and laughed, and some even lit a cigarette to share the experience of fake crying with the people around them.

Wu Yu looked at Yu Chen: "Am I being too emotional, or are these people too hypocritical?" How does it feel like it's my family who died! ”

Yu Chen smiled: "Life and death are in the sky, these people can see it more clearly than you." What's more, people are already dead, and crying can't come back to life, it's just a ritual. It's not that you're too emotional or these people are too hypocritical, it's just that these people are numb, brother-in-law, you're attending a funeral for the first time! ”

Wu Yu didn't understand Yu Chen's words too much, and nodded: "It's the first time, except for my son who has never met, none of my relatives have passed away, and they are all harder than me, maybe I didn't have a chance to attend their funeral, but they attended my funeral first." ”

Yu Chen heard what Wu Yu said and understood that this was Wu Yu's dissatisfaction with what happened last night, but Yu Chen didn't answer the topic: "Why don't you go back and discuss with Sister Xiaoxi and hold a funeral for your son." You can also experience the feeling of a white-haired person sending a black-haired person, even though you are still very young. ”

Wu Yu glanced at Yu Chen: "You want to make money and want to go crazy!" I can't even find my son's body, what a! ”

Yu Chen smiled: "Brother-in-law, I'm not here to earn your money, I'm thinking about you and Sister Xiaoxi." If you two get married without a license now, you are not considered a legal husband and wife. Second, if the child is gone, your mother won't give you the household registration book for the two of you to register, and Sister Xiaoxi is deliberately separating from you if she doesn't go home like this now. According to this development, don't plan to let Sister Xiaoxi give birth to you in your life, husband and wife have different rooms, unless IVF, I really don't know what you can do to let Sister Xiaoxi give you a child. ”

Wu Yu nodded, but he felt a little awkward: "What you said makes sense, but what does a funeral have to do with giving birth to a child, you can't hold a funeral, my dead son can be reincarnated in your sister Xiaoxi's womb!" You also said, how can I have a child if I don't live with your sister Xiaoxi! ”

Yu Chen showed a wicked smile on his face: "Brother-in-law, when those people you think are hypocritical cry just now, did it also drive your feelings, you yourself said that you couldn't help but want to cry!" ”

Wu Yu nodded: "Yes!" What does it have to do with this. ”

Yu Chen continued to laugh evilly: "You want to! If you are going to have a funeral for your son, buy some clothes for the little ones to bury in the coffin. Give your son another name, and you will cry like those people at the funeral. Sister Xiaoxi will definitely cry with you when she feels it, and when the time comes, you hug Sister Xiaoxi and tell her that you want to have a child that belongs to the two of you, and promise that Sister Xiaoxi will go home with you immediately to make a person. ”

Wu Yu nodded dumbly: "What you said makes sense!" Xiaoxi is about to become a mother, and the loss of the child will hit her the hardest, although she is still acting normally, but she must be sad in her heart! But what if you, Sister Xiaoxi, are sad at the thought of the dead child and don't plan to have a child? ”

Yu Chen walked to Wu Yu's side with a smile and put one hand on Wu Yu's shoulder: "Brother-in-law, don't worry about this." Your brother and I have studied the hints in my heart, didn't you also see it when Old Man Zhao looked for me. As long as I give Sister Xiaoxi some hints in my heart, I will teach you an ancient witchcraft when I go back, so that Sister Xiaoxi can remember what happened around her in a half-asleep state, and treat it as her own dream. As long as you find someone to borrow a child, perform a happy family state in front of Sister Xiaoxi, and awaken the part of Sister Xiaoxi's inner mother's love, this matter is guaranteed to be successful. ”

Wu Yu was very moved by what Yu Chen said, and nodded with a smile: "Don't say it, this method is really good, as long as our starting point is good, deceive Xiaoxi with good intentions, even if she knows, she shouldn't be too angry." ”

Yu Chen saw that Wu Yu was moved by what he said, and hurriedly nodded: "Yes!" A little white lie between husband and wife can only make the couple happier. ”

Wu Yu nodded heavily: "Okay!" That's it, when this side is over, go back and help your brother-in-law take care of this matter, as long as it is done, your brother-in-law will definitely not treat you badly. You buy the things you need, and your brother-in-law will reimburse you when you go back. ”

Yu Chenle's mouth was almost closed, and he nodded again and again, and his heart was not good, he finally deceived his brother-in-law, and this time he made money again.

Over there, the resignation ceremony and the coffin lifting ceremony have ended, and Old Man Zhao has arranged for someone to load the coffin into the car, and walked up to Yu Chen to ask Yu Chen if he was leaving.

Yu Chen was in a good mood at this moment, and nodded: "Let's go!" ”

It was the first time for Wu Yu to follow such a large-scale funeral procession, with more than 200 people, which seemed to be more than the number of regular soldiers in those anti-Japanese TV dramas on TV.

With the old lady and grandson leading the way in front, the team slowly walked towards the Zhao family cemetery. The strange thing is that Yu Chen turned out to be the only one walking outside the procession, looking at the posture of carrying a sword as if he was guarding the funeral procession.

Wu Yu sat on the carriage transporting the coffin as agreed with Yu Chen before, and the Baoshan daughter-in-law sat quietly in the carriage, because there was someone in front of the carriage who led her and didn't need her to catch the car.

Wu Yu didn't know how to monitor the woman around him, after all, a woman in her thirties, and a man in his twenties couldn't keep an eye on others!

When he was worried that he had no excuse to look at the woman next to him, the woman next to him suddenly whispered in his ear: "Let me take the carriage that delivers the coffin and say that it can cure my man's disease, your excuse is really lame!" ”

Wu Yu was taken aback, he never thought that this woman would talk to him first, and the voice sounded somewhat familiar. Wu Yu hurriedly turned his head to look at the woman beside him, and saw a woman in her thirties in front of her with light makeup on her face, revealing an indescribable charm all over her body, and Wu Yu was a little flustered when he saw it all of a sudden.

The woman looked at Wu Yu and smiled: "Am I good-looking?" ”

Wu Yu actually didn't think that the woman in front of him was really beautiful, but he just felt that this woman was very charming, not at all like an ordinary village woman, and not like the daughter-in-law that the man named Baoshan could marry, but he didn't know why he nodded his head in a ghostly way.

The woman smiled proudly: "Since it's good-looking, don't look at it so secretly, I can't eat you." While no one was paying attention, my man fainted again, let's go talk in the bud rice field! There was an indescribable charm between the words, and before he knew it, he had put his soft and boneless little hand on Wu Yu's shoulder.

Wu Yu was surprised by this woman's actions, and the woman who was still in the mood to tease herself about the funeral ghost. Thinking of Yu Chen letting himself spy on this woman, Wu Yu straightened his body: "If you are willing to go yourself, I am not a casual person." ”

Generally, no matter how casual a woman is, but once a man says that this woman is casual, the woman will be angry out of a woman's self-esteem. But this woman not only didn't get angry, but smiled: "If you don't go with me, what's the point of being alone, don't you really think that your little trick can trap me?" ”

Wu Yu was stunned for a moment, and he didn't understand what the woman's words meant, but he saw Yu Chen jumping into the carriage from not far away: "I'm here, are you still sleepy?" ”