By two o'clock in the second half of the night, Foley woke up to find himself lying on the couch in the Berus family.

Berus may have slept soundly in his bedroom, and Representative Foley didn't want to disturb him, so he opened the door and prepared to go home.

The temperature difference and the alcohol dissipated, and Representative felt the breeze blowing in his face, as if he was back before he was married, and it was two o'clock when the bar closed, and it was also such a night, and Ephia begged him on the phone to go for a walk with her, and this was probably the only time Ephia asked him to do one thing in his memory.

They make an appointment to meet at the restaurant where Ephia works, and Ephia wears a blue dress that doesn't fit at all, it looks much bigger, and her thin body looks more petite. That night she wore her hair draped as if she had just been washed, and the sweet smell of citrus wafted through the air.

And when he got into the car, the memory just now was interrupted again, and the more frequent pain instantly pulled and broke the wonderful memory, and replaced it with pain and suffering.

"Think of something else, Foley, don't think about that damn pain." He said to himself, speaking so loudly that no one would hear him anyway. No, maybe something will be heard, and it occurred to Representative that Berbus said that something outside the window must be watching every move in the room, so what could it be? This aroused Foley's curiosity, if something was really watching, hadn't he been noticed when he entered the door? What is the purpose of these things?

Thinking of this, Foley found it a little strange when he first met with Belus today, he said on the phone that he had something to say, which sounded not only urgent but also somewhat related to himself.

If it has nothing to do with him, doesn't Belus have any better friends? After all, the two haven't seen each other for many years, so are they good friends just because they met again the week before? This logic doesn't make sense.

As he reasoned about these things, Forlì's brain took back the right to make free choices, and he focused entirely on thinking about this strange night, so that the pain was abandoned. By the time he remembered it again, he had already returned home.

In the end, Representative Foley argues that although the two had been talking for a long time, Belus hadn't explained exactly what that urgent call was about. Why do you have to make it to dinner? What did you have to say but didn't say? Could it be that these surveillance and home trespasses have something to do with themselves? Thinking of this, he smiled, and the thought was dispelled, and he said to himself, "It's bad enough, can a person who hasn't been active for a long time become some kind of important person?" ”

It was nearly four o'clock when I got home.

In order not to disturb Samel and John, Foley prepares to sleep on the couch in the living room, although the temperature is a little cold and it will be a little difficult to endure without a blanket, but it is better than waking them up. He wanted to boil himself a glass of milk before going to bed, but the cold behind him made him shiver.

The only thing in the fridge was John's favorite yogurt, except for carrots and broccoli, and there was nothing to see in the foliage that belonged to Foley, who closed the fridge and lay down on the couch.

After tossing and turning a few times and getting sleepy, the night became brighter, the chairs in the living room, the white wood-grain table, and the Lego toys stacked by John next to the table, there were white, black, 5 yellow, 7 green, red...... Blue......

"Big man, guess what, how many pieces of white Lego are there?"

"5 pieces?"

"Not right"

"3 pieces?"

"Not right"

Blocks

"No, let's count them together."

“，2，3，4，5，6，7，”

"Look, it's a block."

"Well, I failed."

"It's okay, it's okay Dad, it doesn't matter if you fail."

Foley looks at the Legos, and John gives him a guess every time, and he always pretends not to guess, first to help John learn to count, and then it becomes his favorite game, and beyond that, Forlì can't think of any other games John has played with him.

John's voice grew louder and louder, repeating itself again and again in the room, as if in his head; The room was getting brighter and brighter, and although the lights weren't on, Foley knew better than during the day what was on every corner.

Is this how my mother looks at everything in the house and waits for dawn? It's unbelievable, how terrible it can be to do this every day.

Torment, thinking of this word, Foley feels that the things he has been silently enduring in his heart these days are best described as torment, "Foley, don't hide it from me, I know everything, can I still not know my illness, I'm dying, I'm going to die sooner or later, I should not have let me have a damn operation if I knew you." ”

"You shouldn't have let me have that kind of surgery."

"If you had known, you wouldn't have had surgery."

"Mom, wake up, Mommy."

"Why is she like this? Why? ”

"How many sleeping pills did the patient take? Do you know what medicine it is? ”

"I don't know, is she taking this drug?"

"Dad, you know what? What medications is mom taking? ”

"Hell, can you save it?"

"You all wait outside, the doctor is resuscitating."

"Mom, don't you die, Mom."

"Mom."

"Mom."

The morning reminder sounded on time, and the jacket seemed to have been soaked in water, completely soaked with sweat. Representative Foley wakes up to find himself sitting in a chair with a piece of white Lego in his hand.

Unable to say good morning to John, Foley walked into the bathroom in a daze, turned on the faucet, took off his clothes and threw them into the washing machine, on which were two piles of clothes piled up as usual, Sammel's jeans and white top, and John's dark blue hoodie, which he bought at Christmas, was the last time the three of them had gone out shopping together.

John was so happy that day that he kept circling around the Christmas tree in the mall lobby, round and round, looking up and smiling as he went, as if something was smiling at him.

That look now makes Forlì feel a little frightened, John's behavior is sometimes a little strange, he tries not to think about the bad things, but sometimes he can't help but feel that John has some strange symptoms, but his IQ seems to be normal, even smarter than children of the same age; Perhaps it was because of the family connections, and it occurred to Forley that if he had spoken to Shamel instead of respecting each other and being indifferent as he was now, he would in fact have longed to care for her, but it seemed as if there was always a wall between them.

Whether it's your unwillingness or whether there's something wrong with it, maybe both. He sat down in the tub, the temperature of the water calming him down, and pushing him again to the question of whether or not to talk to Shamel about himself, and how to say it.

When his mother's surgery decided whether he had done anything wrong, and whether hiding her cancer was good or bad for her, Representative told himself that everything was the best decision and that he had no better choice.

But at the same time, he understands that there is no way for people to judge whether their decisions are right or wrong, people cannot make an accurate understanding of their own consciousness, everything is just what can be done at the moment, in order to escape greater grief, in order to reduce more suffering, in order not to become a murderer who watched his mother die without surgery.

Murderer, he can't bear such a crime.