"Don't laugh."

"I always thought you were dating her, or maybe I would have gotten married."

"You said that on purpose."

"Who would believe you're nothing."

"I believe it, we're cleaner than the leaves washed by the sun."

"Is this a joke?" Belus couldn't help but laugh.

The good mood of meeting Efia was completely worn out by this time, and no one cared about the tire prints at night. If you ask him how he feels now, he can't find any tenderness except for the hatred of Ephia who doesn't say goodbye.

"Tell me about your wife, you've been married to Samel for five years."

"It's the sixth year of this year."

"Oh yes, I went to your house when John was born."

"So many years have passed." Representative Foley picks up his glass, finds it empty, and picks up the bottle, which has a thin layer of wine floating at the bottom, much lighter than when the bottle was full.

"You still look young."

"You too."

"Does that mean an extra bottle of wine?"

"Then I won't be able to go back."

"How does it feel to get married?" Berus asked.

Seeing that his friend was so serious, Foley didn't dare to slack off.

"Marriage feels like, how to put it, Shakespeare said 'My lover swears that she will be faithful, and I know she lies, but I still believe it,' and I don't think Shamel loves me, and I don't feel my love for her, but we live so far, and everything seems to be pretty good."

"So you can't forget Ephia, is that why?"

"It's not just that, in fact I haven't thought of her for a long time, but lately, I have to admit that I think she's crazy and even hateful."

Belus looked at the pale face of his former classmate, and the alcohol did not make his cheeks bloody.

When talking about Ephia, he frowned, and the deepening crack seemed to hide a secret that a man who was gradually entering middle age did not tell anyone. He remembers that the dispute over Foley's mother's surgery had occurred six years earlier, and that the lines may have left a mark on the handsome face since then.

"I think love should be the kind of feeling that makes a person look as if he has changed a person, as if a person has turned on a switch, and he starts to run a new program, which is completely different from the past, but for the better, and love should not contain hatred, if a feeling is full of love and hatred, then it is not love, it is called suffering."

"So I like what Sonia said in "Love and Death", love is sin, and in order to avoid sin, don't love. But in this way, you will suffer because you don't love, so to love is to suffer, and not to love is to suffer, and to suffer is to suffer. ”

"So Woody Allen is an unmarried."

"That's right. People want to be happy, so they love, but then they become sinful, and when they suffer, they don't feel happy, so if they want to be unhappy, they should love, or they will suffer because they are too happy, or they will suffer because they are too happy. ”

"Love or don't love to suffer."

Belus shrugged, "I don't know, I only have relationships with girls, I have no promises and vows, and I don't have any guilt to suffer, and I don't want anyone to love me and my obsession with love, causing both of them to be tied up by this rope and have trouble breathing." He reached out and grabbed his neck in a binding pose.

"Yes, it's a rope, like a rope." Forlì made a binding gesture like Berus, his left hand in front of his throat and his right hand around his back, a slight pain flashed through his mind, "Get out of here," he shouted softly.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing." Representative Foley continues the previous topic, "Samel and I were inexplicably married, and one day she asked me if I was dating someone, and I said that the person I was dating was missing, you know, Ephia was missing, she didn't show up for half a year, and we used to see each other almost four or five times a week. ”

"Well, I remember getting a call from you saying that your mother was sick and asking me what was the right treatment."

"Yes, that's when I was so distraught that I had to go back to Seattle once a week, and I came home on Sunday and I fell asleep tired and didn't know where, and I woke up sometimes in bed, more often on the couch, on the carpet or even against the door; I don't even know how I slept in those places. ”

"That was after your mother's surgery."

"Almost, I don't remember exactly, it's been too long. During that time, I dreamed all night, and the most I dreamed about was carrying oxygen cylinders, bottle after bottle, and the thing became heavier and heavier, and heavier and heavier, and in the end, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move it; Then the sound of my mother's breathing was like a fan pulled from decades ago, and only the Hollywood film collection still had film reels from that era.

The voices came from far and near, and finally stopped before piercing my eardrums. Then there was silence, more frightening than the sound of pulling a fan, a huge tinnitus, as if thousands of insects were vibrating their wings at the same time. I had dreams like this every week during that time. ”

Belus looked at Forley without saying a word.

"That's when Samel showed up, and she said she could not live in my house, and I said if you don't mind if I rent a house that is messy and small." Representative Foley smiles, "I don't know how to say no to people, especially a woman with a good family background and a beautiful woman, although she is 7 years older than me, but to be honest, I really can't see it, I looked at the face in the mirror at that time, and I felt that I was at least 40 years old." ”

"And then you got married? It seems to be a logical fit. ”

"One day, Samel said she wanted to buy a ring, I was confused, and I still don't understand why I thought she meant that I should buy a ring and propose to her, maybe she just fancy a nice ring and wanted to buy it, I thought she was saying that we could get married, I went home that week and told my mother, she looked pretty at the time, except that she couldn't sleep at night, sometimes she could wake up and talk to me, she asked me, is the girl pretty, I said, pretty; She asked again, does that girl love me? I say love.

My mother laughed and said that the most important thing is to love me, and never marry a woman who doesn't love her. ”

"That's right."

"Yes, I gradually understood later, her words were simply for herself or to my father, that is because she has never loved my father, never, at least I don't think there can be anything called love between them, they have never changed themselves for each other, it is life and me that make them compromise and bow their heads."

"Patients are sometimes emotionally extreme, Foley."

Berus tries to comfort him, but Representative Foley doesn't look upset, as if he's been with these things for so long that they can't hurt him anymore.

"How did you get along with Shamel if you didn't love her?"

"There's always a way to get along, not to mention John, and everybody loves him, even though what we're missing from each other may never be found in each other."

"If you're seeing Ephia, what do you want her to say to you? Married, have children, or are you single? Would you want her to tell you what happened? Still is... Is there any particular reason why you want to meet her? ”

"None of these are any." Representative Foley replies. I hope she dies soon, or that she will be in the same condition as me, and I hope she is worse off than me. Representative Foley doesn't say it, and while it's definitely not kindness and love, it's true.