There are no perfect parents.

In the process of growing up, the younger generation will be more or less destroyed by their parents, and at the same time, they will also be dissatisfied with their parents.

However, based on our traditional filial piety culture and the unequal status of the two generations, it is difficult for the younger generation to raise objections in person, let alone rebel, even if they feel that their parents are wrong.

There is no healthy relationship in this world that is suppressed by identity.

Where there is oppression, there is resistance, and most young people will not resist or cannot resist until they are unable to do so, but when they become financially independent, when their parents are old enough to have no source of income, this relationship will be reversed.

Tang Mingyao had seen a peer in his previous life, he didn't do anything when he was at home, all the housework was handled by his parents, and when his parents were slow, he scolded him when he opened his mouth, without any psychological barriers.

At that time, Tang Mingyao felt incredible, and asked on the side.

The other party said: "Our family is like this, I was scolded like this when I was a child, nothing strange." ”

Supporting his parents seems to be cool on the surface, but the wounds formed in the bottom of his heart by the experiences he once scolded by his parents cannot be healed. This kind of superficial revenge can't cure him, he actually has deep pain buried in his heart, but it's just not known to outsiders.

The book "We Are All a Wounded Generation" is different, it talks about reconciliation with parents.

Struggle is only a means, reconciliation is the goal.

Therefore, many people read the beginning and feel that the characters in the book have their own shadows, and when they see the end, they will find strength from the book - what they dare not do or can't do, the protagonist does, and that feeling of healing is not found in Tang Mingyao's previous works.

Therefore, the posts Tang Mingyao saw in his personal forum quickly became readers' emotional posts for their parents, and there was a tendency to stop the car, complaining, complaining, repenting, and being vigilant......

The content of the book became secondary, and the expression of one's own feelings and experiences became the main one.

This is actually the purpose of Tang Mingyao's book.

Now it seems that the initial effect has been achieved.

Then he went to other forums and had some posts on similar topics, which were active in various sections.

After an hour on the net, he pulled Xu Ang back to school and went to class normally.

In the next few days, the topic of the new book began to spread on the Internet, and forums, chat rooms, and QQ spread to each other...... Soon there was a wave of "great discussion about the relationship between parents and children".

If there is a hot search on Weibo at this time, I am afraid that this topic will become one of the hottest words on the list within a day or two.

And this trend of discussion has also spread directly from the Internet to traditional media.

A week later, Tang Mingyao came across an opinion piece in the Beijing Daily, which was written by a well-known critic who often wrote editorials in newspapers.

Walking on campus, he gradually felt the impact of this topic.

For example, in class this day, the teacher of one of the classes came to the classroom and did not talk about textbook knowledge, but wrote a topic on the blackboard, so that everyone could open up the discussion.

The name of the topic is called: My relationship with my parents.

This shows its influence.

There was a sleeping meeting in the dormitory, and everyone's topic was unconsciously leaning towards this aspect.

"Studying psychology, I personally think that the first purpose should be to recognize oneself and save oneself! Intimacy is an important step in self-awareness. Tang Mingyao said, "We have a few bedrooms, and our parents are not so perfect, and Xu Ang's parents can't even say that they are qualified." Have you ever thought about reconciling with them? ”

Xu Ang said: "Reconciliation? There is no possibility of reconciliation between me and my mother, and I don't even know where she is. As for my dad, I wish he could look at me squarely, at least not forgetting that I have a son. But this is also an extravagant hope, his current home is quite beautiful, he has a wife and a daughter, what do you want me to do as a burden, and he won't even pay me tuition. ”

Tang Mingyao said: "Have you communicated with your father? ”

"I called during the Chinese New Year and said a few words, but he didn't seem to want to talk to me much, so I hung up."

Tang Mingyao didn't say anything, and then asked another: "What about you, Ran Xiaomin?" Have you ever thought about solving this problem with your father's situation, such as when you didn't do well on exams when you were a kid, but he punished himself as if he had made a mistake? ”

Ran Xiaomin has been in college for more than half a year and has learned a lot of things, so he immediately said: "I am now analyzing, my dad has actually been emotionally kidnapping over the years." I was quite naughty when I was a child, my dad couldn't control me, maybe he unconsciously formed this pattern at that time, he kidnapped me by punishing himself, to achieve the purpose of making me obedient. ”

Tang Mingyao said objectively: "In other words, he is actually incompetent, and this kidnapping is not only his means of controlling you, but also his punishment for his incompetence." ”

"I guess so."

Tang Mingyao asked Yang Zhiwei again: "Old Yang, you don't seem to talk about your family's affairs?" ”

"My parents don't have anything to say, honest farmers don't behave in the world, and they don't make money...... That's pretty good for me, that's about it. ”

"Why do you want to go to school when you've earned enough for college? You can take out student loans like Xu Ang, or apply for poverty scholarships, or you can also work and study during college, and it should be good to earn money while studying. ”

Yang Zhiwei laughed and said, "Do you know what I experienced in high school? One year, our family had no money to pay tuition, and my dad asked me to go to school first, and he slowly tried to make up for me, but our homeroom teacher said to me in front of the whole class, what do you read if you don't have money, and stay in school like a leper dog, is it interesting? I still remember the scene when the teacher said that sentence clearly, and I don't want to be insulted like this anymore, so I'd rather earn money and earn enough money to come back to college than be looked down upon. ”

Several people in the dormitory were silent.

No one expected that the seemingly mature Yang Zhiwei would have such an experience behind him.

That kind of scene should become a shadow for a lifetime.

Tang Mingyao said: "Have you ever resented that your parents are incompetent? Leaving you subjected to this humiliation. ”

"Yes. When that incident first happened, I hated my teacher first, and my dad second, why didn't he pay my tuition on time...... But then I calmed down and felt that it was wrong to think this way, and my father didn't mean not to pay it to me, but the family had no money, and it wasn't his fault. ”

Tang Mingyao thought about himself, and he was more or less dissatisfied with his parents.

Like Yang Zhiwei, he knows that his parents are actually very good, and this kind of dissatisfaction should not exist, because as long as he exists, he will feel that he is very "unfilial".

However, in psychology, using morality to restrain people's instincts is contrary to nature and is not conducive to physical and mental health.

Now, he felt that he could take this opportunity to say what he felt he couldn't say on this particular occasion.

So he said, "Why don't we have a meeting of complaining parents?" ”