A pen, a notebook.

This is a text that will not be released to anyone, and Tang Mingyao decided to tear it up after writing it. So he put pen to paper with confidence and wrote:

[I'm actually a little scared of death.

Why are you afraid? Because when you die, there's nothing.

People are inherently dead, and if it were a natural death of aging, I might not be so terrible, but when you fall asleep, I don't know what day you will fall asleep, and you will die inexplicably, which is terrible.

The matter of rebirth is very suspenseful to say, but in essence, it is that I was originally alive in my previous life, but overnight, I was reborn. This actually means that I am dead, and I am dead inexplicably.

So in this life, will I experience such a death again?

I don't know when it will come, and I don't know if I will wake up after closing my eyes next time?

However, I didn't even bother to discover the secret behind it. It's so weird, it's too weird to imagine.

What is the mechanism of rebirth?

What conditions need to be met?

Does it have to be that day, or is it something else? Or is it just a completely random event? Completely unknown.

It was like a huge shadow hanging over my head.

Therefore, I want to study hard, try to get ahead, try to make my life more fulfilling every day, and leave more traces in this world before that day comes.

Rebirth is my source of strength, but at the same time, it is also my greatest fear!

How do I face it and fix it?

…………】

I wrote hundreds of words in one go.

Tang Mingyao put down the pen, and felt that he had finally touched the big stone that had been pressing on his heart, it was very big and heavy, and walking around with it every day made people feel breathless.

In the past two years of rebirth, except that he was very excited at the beginning, he felt that he had a chance to start all over again, and after he got on the right track, this burden appeared faintly.

I am always afraid that one day the hidden danger will break out and suddenly die.

Before, he himself was not aware of this, and even thought that rebirth was capital and wealth, and did not find it terrible.

It wasn't until He Ning mentioned it last time that he began to observe himself and think about whether this point was really possible.

The more you think, the more you find problems.

It wasn't until he went to the hospital to see Uncle Wu that some of his manifestations gradually became obvious, and he realized that he was indeed anxious about death, as He Ning said.

In this text, he didn't think about what to write before he put pen to paper, he just wrote at random.

But in the first sentence, he wrote: I'm a little afraid of death.

This is a very obvious fact, which shows that his fear of death is not subtle at all, as long as he expresses it, it can be naturally revealed.

At this moment, Tang Mingyao finally faced this problem very officially.

He is not a god, and once he is born again, he is still an ordinary man.

Perhaps in some things, he has higher achievements than his peers, or even older generations, and outwardly shows a more mature mind.

But that doesn't mean his inner world is flawless. Because of some special experiences, his questions are more peculiar and obscure than others.

Now that we've found the problem, it's much easier to do next.

There is a saying in psychology that says: Seeing is the beginning of healing. When you see a problem, you can start to deal with it.

Tang Mingyao just wrote something, and found that his mood was a lot more relaxed. This act of admitting that you are not strong enough, many times, can soothe tense nerves.

…………

A few days later, Tang Mingyao received a package from He Ning from the capital.

There are two books in it: "The Man Who Faced Death" and "Existential Psychotherapy".

When he picked up the book, the corners of his mouth hooked up with a helpless expression.

Without him, there is no translation of these two books in China, and they are all in English.

Tang Mingyao's current English level, the college entrance examination can score more than 140 points, almost a full score, even if you don't study, you can take the college English level 4 with your foundation, but one step further, it is a bit hanging.

CET-6 in college English, most of the time there is no play.

No matter how high the level is, it can't be reached at all.

The two books in front of him are works in the professional field, he opened and turned the page, and found that there were a lot of professional terms, many words that he didn't know, at his own level, just whether he could read it smoothly was enough, let alone comprehend the author's meaning in the book.

I'm just getting started with the subject of English.

Knowledge, as if it is never enough.

It happened that the school was also going on vacation, so in order to read these two books, Tang Mingyao went directly to the bookstore and bought a bigger and more complete Oxford dictionary.

In the next day's free time, I threw myself on these two books, stumbling page by page.

It's often the case that you read a few lines and find a word you don't know, then you flip through the dictionary and write it down in your notebook...... Go back to the book, read through the upper and lower sentences together, and continue to read when you understand it; If you don't understand, read it a few times to see if you can read it; I didn't understand it anymore, so I had to write it down and ask my senior sister when I had time.

This method of reading caused his progress to be particularly slow.

At the end of the day, I can only read a few pages, at most ten pages and eight pages.

Until the day of the real holiday, the first book "People Facing Death" only read the first 30 pages.

The winter vacation is the twenty-sixth day of the lunar month, and there are three days left for the New Year.

During the Spring Festival this year, Tang Mingyao's family is not ready to return to his hometown, and he has a new house in the provincial capital, so he will celebrate the New Year in a new house.

A few days in advance, Tang Hui called home and asked Li Qiong to take Tang Lingfeng to the provincial capital for the New Year.

When Tang Mingyao was on vacation, they had already arrived.

When my mother and younger brother saw that the renovated new house was much more upscale than the self-built second-hand house in the county, they were a little cautious when they entered the door for the first time, and they didn't dare to get down.

waited until Tang Hui took out his slippers and asked them to change them, and the two dared to enter the door.

After entering the door, my mother looked left and right, and looked at it with admiration, saying that she had only seen this kind of house on TV before, but she didn't expect to live there one day.

Tang Lingfeng didn't care so much, and threw himself directly into the sofa: "Ah, this sofa is so comfortable!" I'm going to sleep on this at night! He was scolded by Tang Hui for a few words.

After Tang Mingyao came back, everyone discussed how to spend this year.

New Year's goods that should be prepared are essential, and it is also necessary to celebrate the New Year at home.

In addition, Tang Mingyao made a new plan for the whole family, only spending the Chinese New Year's Eve at home, leaving relatives for a day at the beginning of the year, and then going out to play with the whole family!

Go a little further and travel for five or seven days!

This is the inspiration he got after taking his father to play last time, the family doesn't like to go out very much, afraid of spending money, in this case, then you have to take advantage of the Chinese New Year to go out and spend a flower.

For this reason, Tang Mingyao even went to the bank to withdraw 20,000 yuan, saying: "I am expected to go out for seven days, this is the cost of our family in the past few days." Don't feel distressed, money is spent, our family's income is already a lot, if the money is not spent, what are you doing with it? ”

This move was approved by his younger brother Tang Lingfeng.

As for the two parents, although the flesh hurts, they also feel that what their son said makes sense, so they nodded and agreed.