"He? He was a very proud man. ”

"How?"

"He felt that he was very capable, and that he should be the most promising of all the people he knew. This gave him a very peculiar sense of superiority in front of his relatives and friends, although he said very modest things on the surface......"

"Is he demanding of you?"

Huang Tao nodded: "High." When I was a child, I had to do my own laundry in the first grade of primary school, because he felt that this was the standard of a sensible child, and I had to learn that my clothes were washed by myself since I was a child, and my mother could help me; And he taught me to be polite and humble from an early age, and some of them were demanding......"

"What's the harsh method?"

"That's it...... When there are no outsiders, even if they are the only ones in the house, I have to be polite at all times. For example, when I go to call him, I can't just shout, 'Daddy is eating,' but I have to go up to him and salute before inviting him to dinner, and if I don't do it, he will reprimand me and say that I am not polite...... And there are many more such things in my life......"

Tang Mingyao nodded slightly, sketching the image of this father in his mind.

He then asked, "What about the grades?" What does he ask of you? ”

"When I was a child, the requirements were very strict, and I remember when I was in elementary school, as long as I didn't get a double score in Chinese and mathematics, I would be punished for kneeling when I went home...... At that time, I was most afraid of the final exam......"

"And then?"

"After I went to junior high school, it was unrealistic to get a full score in the exam, so he used the school ranking to ask me to get the first place in the school every time I took the exam. On the contrary, I breathed a sigh of relief, because it was easier to get the first place in the whole school in junior high school than to score double 100 points in the first test in elementary school. ”

"Your dad often mentioned the sentence: It's nothing to do well in the exam, you have to be able to get into the exam room! When did he start saying this? Since you were a child? ”

Huang Tao thought for a few seconds: "I didn't mention it when I was a child, it should be ...... After I graduated from junior high school. Because I made a mistake in the high school entrance examination, I didn't do very well in the exam, and later he saw his relatives and said this......"

Tang Mingyao changed his sitting posture, made a little more formal, and made a summary of the previous paragraph: "How do you feel about your father's high requirements for you, whether it is in life, behavior, or grades?"

"He's doing it for my good."

Tang Mingyao frowned slightly: "You are a rational answer, I feel that you are thinking, and this answer is the result of thinking." Now I'm going to listen to what you really feel, not an answer that feels right for you. Put aside your reason and say whatever you want. ”

"I ......"

Huang Tao opened his mouth with difficulty: "I feel very tired......

"yes, that's what it feels like, is there anything else you'd like to say?"

Huang Tao's gaze sank, not looking at Tang Mingyao, but staring at the coffee table in front of him, his eyes constantly moving back and forth.

He's struggling.

After a few moments, a tear slipped from the corner of his eye.

His whole body suddenly couldn't hold back, and the tears burst like a bank, and the big ones kept pouring out, converging into a river.

He whimpered, "I don't think I'm a son in his eyes, but a machine, or something else that can't be said, not a person." I can't have my own ideas, I can't make decisions about anything for myself, I can only work according to his will, and I have to disguise myself as flawless and show it to his people. I don't want him to be like this to me, I want him to be nice to me, a little human, woo......"

Huang Tao is 19 years old this year.

The big boy, who gives people the image of being taciturn in the class, works hard to the point of almost being a little perverted, and the classmates can feel the suppressed and nervous aura on him.

At the moment, in front of a "peer", he cried like a fool.

Tang Mingyao didn't stop him from crying, after reading a few books, he knew that when doing psychological counseling, the other party's crying was the most normal performance.

If you finish a counseling session and people don't feel anything, that's a failure.

Of course, this feeling does not mean that it is okay to make the other person cry, laugh or feel anything, in short, it must touch the inner world of the other person.

After a few minutes, Huang Tao gradually controlled his emotions.

He wiped his tears and said embarrassedly, "I shouldn't have cried, it's rude......"

Tang Mingyao said: "Your father is not here, except for you and me, no third person will know about this matter, and it is impossible for your father to know." So, you can cry whenever you want. ”

Huang Tao shook his head: "This is etiquette."

Tang Mingyao also shook his head, but the meaning of his shaking was different from Huang Tao's.

This big boy has been influenced by his father to the bones, and after opening his inner world for a short time, he quickly closed it again.

"Let's continue with the topic we just talked about. You didn't do well in the high school entrance examination, you made a mistake at the most important level in your life, and you didn't do what your father asked you to do, so he would say something like that, and you would also want to prove yourself that the high school entrance examination was just an accident, not that you were not capable, right? ”

"Yes."

"Where did you make a mistake in the high school entrance examination?"

"Forget."

"What about the last college entrance examination?"

"I'm not in good shape, and I'm cranky during the exam."

Tang Mingyao frowned secretly, the logic was wrong! It's still missing a link.

Logic in psychology and logic in mathematics are essentially the same thing, but logic in psychology is often more difficult to sort out than mathematical logic.

It's like doing proof questions, because – so – and then – and so – and finally, so, it's a complete chain.

Mathematically, the proof step is one step less and is easy to spot, but in psychology, it is easy to overlook.

He thought about it and asked another question: "Do you think you have the strength to get good grades?" It's like when you get a first visit, it's about 700 points! ”

"Yes!"

"Pretty sure?"

"I ...... If you don't think about it, you're sure. ”

Tang Mingyao asked again: "Why do you want to think crankily during major exams?"

"I can't control myself."

"Anything else?"

"I can't think of it, I don't think it's anymore."

Tang Mingyao nodded and said, "Next, let's make a bold assumption, maybe it will have some impact on you, but please don't be angry and take a serious look at yourself, okay?"

After receiving an affirmative answer, Tang Mingyao continued: "People have a rebellious mentality, from birth to adulthood, we will go through three rebellious periods, this is the law of growth, and it will not change because of different personalities. The only difference is that everyone has a different way of manifesting rebellion......"

"From your previous words, I can tell that you are sad and hidden angry at your father's high demands on you, but you have not shown the resistance you deserve...... Your rebellion is suppressed by him, so you take it for granted that he is right, do everything according to his requirements, and try to prove yourself to him. ”

"So, why do you make a major mistake in an exam? You yourself said that you have the strength to do well in the exam, but you can't control your thoughts. As a bystander, I feel that you just can't control it on the surface, and on the subconscious level you can control it, but your subconscious doesn't want to control it, and deliberately makes it chaotic. Can you understand the relationship between the conscious and the subconscious? ”

"Because the superficial rebellion is suppressed, you can't rebel against your father on a conscious level, so you use a more subtle way, which is to protest in a major exam!"

After saying this, Tang Mingyao silently added in his heart: "Only in this way can the logical chain of the whole process be complete."