Yunkang's past fragment 1——

For as long as I can remember, my father Ouyang Chong, who was as cold as frost, rarely cared for me, and I didn't see him many times. I thought that all fathers in the world were equally kind, but my father was an exception, and he always gave me an alienated face whenever he asked for peace.

I always comfort myself that my father must be cold and warm-hearted, and even if he doesn't think much of me on the surface, he will definitely care for me silently where I can't see; He must have loved me, just like his other brothers and sisters, he just wouldn't say it. I have always believed that he was a loving father. But in reality, he is not. His father's love was given to his other children. He will let the second sister hold his neck and be coquettish, and then touch her hair lovingly, and punish the second sister for kicking the quilt in the middle of the night to catch a cold, so that the queen himself will coax her to eat the medicine in one mouthful, and respond to her needs. But he never came to see me when I was sick. Later, A-Niang also said that every time I was confused, I always pulled her sleeve to call my father, but when I got older, I didn't call anymore, I was really sensible. In fact, I'm not sensible, but I understand that no matter how I call, my father won't come, and I don't want to see A-Niang's lost and sad appearance anymore. There are not many concubines in his father, he has a deep relationship with Da Xiao's plaice, and the husband and wife have a very good relationship, and there is only one wife and two concubines in the house, and the two concubines Wang and Li are not favored. The Li family gave birth to a concubine, and the Wang family had nothing to do and could not stand in the Guogong Mansion, and the two concubines were basically nothing. The real decision in the house is the Da Xiao family.

Da Xiao was born in a famous family, her aunt is the wife of the Southern Emperor, the Empress Yixiao who has gone to the immortal, her grandfather is the emperor, after four dynasties of emperors, the Xiao family's status in Nanzhan is even more pivotal, generations of hairpins, full of clear streams, such a background, my aunt just can't catch up.

Ankang inherited the beauty of her mother, Da Xiao, and they all had a harmless face, so beautiful and noble. Xiao always has a gentle smile on his face, treats his subordinates with generosity and patience, treats the children in the house as if they were his own, and wins a lot of praise. Ankang has boasted about her mother in front of me more than once, saying that her mother is noble and dignified, kind and sincere, I nod my head every time I cooperate, and I never dare to disobey a word, I have no intention of lying, but I just admit that the previous sentence is noble and dignified, as for the beautiful real city, I really dare not agree. If she hadn't seen her with her own eyes, she had ordered her to be beaten to death because her subordinates had knocked over the soup bowl and splashed her dress; If it weren't for witnessing her pouring soup into Li Xiaoniang to avoid her son; If it weren't for the fact that she was always mocking my mother behind her back, I think my initial opinion of her would have been kind. In fact, she is very different from people's consistent views of her, she is scheming, and she is the one who is vicious, but her true face is never revealed in front of people.

Except for my accident and the brother who died young, all the children in the house are her own flesh and blood. My aunt was able to give birth to me smoothly under her nose, but you can imagine how difficult the process was. It's a pity, I'm a daughter, not as important as a son, and I can't earn a name for my aunt. But it's better that I'm a daughter, which makes Da Xiao keep my mother and daughter alive.

My father is weak, and he only treats my mother on a whim, and has no feelings. My birth did not bring him half of the joy, but he felt that my aunt had been planning for a long time, and deliberately wanted the mother to be more expensive than the child, so he was disgusted with her, so he did not help her as an aunt for a long time, and he was extremely unkind to my daughter. I only had a name after the family tree, and before that, my aunt was ranked according to the family and called me a little five. An illegitimate daughter like me, who was born disgracefully, deserves a good name, although my father allowed me to exist, he did not regard me as the daughter of the Ouyang family from the bottom of his heart, so there was no need to choose a name for me. Later, when I went to the family tree, he had to name me, and I was allowed to keep it with the original intention of giving alms, and I was allowed to keep it.

Although my father didn't love me, fortunately, he gave his children a fair education. Although I am a concubine's daughter, I will still have heavy teaching, literacy and hyphenation, and female red knitting. I have learned everything that the daughter of an official family should learn. I think he still feels a little guilty about me and my aunt.

My aunt Zhou is very strict with me, and never refuses to indulge me in playing. She has always been strict with herself, and she has been a small fufu in the house for many years, and she has long smoothed out the edges and corners, and practiced the ability to deal with things smoothly and exquisitely. In her memory, she always followed the rules and never made a mistake. She doesn't care about the affairs of the house, she only lives in her own world, and keeps to herself. As for those things that compete for favor, play tricks, and make the housewife unhappy, she will never do it, such as during the New Year's holidays, when she can show her face, she has never attended.

She often told me that if you suffer a loss once, you won't eat it a second time, and you have to learn to learn a lesson. At that time, when I was young, I had not suffered any big losses under the protection of my mother, and I didn't know how to learn from the experience she said. I hate to live in this mansion like a thief, to avoid my second sister's mother when I see it, and to hate that my mother and daughter have to be closed every festival and major banquet.

I often feel aggrieved and unfair, but I can't ask the reason, I only follow the arrangement, as for whose arrangement I don't know, maybe it's the father who rarely meets with a smile, or the sweet-hearted housewife, in short, there is no summons, and my mother and I can't go in and out of the front hall freely.

When the front courtyard was lively, I had been ordered to go to bed by my mother, turned off the lights early, curled up in my own bed, closed my eyes, and tried to hypnotize. As far back as I can remember, the only time I disobeyed my mother was when I was six years old. At that time, it was a fun and active age, without the consciousness of A-Niang's clumsiness, when she asked me to turn off the lights and go to bed, I pretended to be obedient and lay on the bed without moving, but I still couldn't resist the curiosity, and as soon as she walked away, I quietly ran out of the room.

Avoiding the hurried servants of the house, I searched for the way to the main hall with a little vague memory, and I was dizzy and found the front yard.

The guests drank and talked happily, where would they notice the little inconspicuous me, or the maid who served the wine and food, exclaimed: 'Miss Five, why did you come here', everyone turned around when they heard the words, and they all turned their eyes to me. It was the first time I had been so 'valued', and before I could come back to my senses, a woman's yin and yang strange laughter followed: "This is Chong'er's little daughter who has not yet entered the family tree." It's really cute to look at this little look. Come, tell my aunt why she came here, she wants to find her father, right? The woman's thin, bony fingers left a red mark on my face, and I reached out and slapped her hand with my claws. Her hands were so strong that her nails sank into the flesh of my face, and she stared at me sharply, like a wolf staring at meat, eager to eat me alive.

I don't know who sneered: "This little illegitimate daughter is quite fierce."

For a while, there was an uproar in the house, and they all pointed at me and discussed, I didn't know what was going on, I covered my face and was hurt and afraid, I only felt wronged, my eyes were full of tears, and I cried out. My father's face turned pale. The master's mother, Xiao, summoned her subordinates and commanded sharply: "Don't send her back yet."

"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, if you have any grievances, just tell your aunt and grandmother, and your aunt and grandmother will make the decision for you. Don't be afraid of any torture, just tell me that my aunt and grandmother can't be the master, and there are uncles, uncles, aunts and uncles in the room. ”

The woman's voice was loud and flamboyant, and after her publicity, the movement was completely loud. Ben's father, who was still calm, turned pale with a pale face, and looked at me with more and more indifference; She hated this restless woman, and she hated me even more at the family banquet, it was I who ruined their drinking pleasure and disgraced the entire Ouyang family. The last fig leaf left by my father could not be hung up, and I removed it with my own hands.

But before that, I never thought that the thing that embarrassed my father was myself. The illegitimate daughter of what they call 'not in the genealogy' is also myself

The woman who started this turmoil was my father's aunt, Wu Pingqi's grandmother. She hated my grandfather for not saving him when he saw death, and did not intercede for her husband Wu Qiongting, which led to Wu Qiongting being imprisoned and exiled, and finally ended up dying in a foreign land, and she herself was widowed at a young age, and from then on she would regard the entire Ouyang family as a mortal enemy and hate it to the core.

The reason why I did not enter the family tree was because I was born in the embarrassment of not being a wife or concubine. My mother, Zhou, was originally just a maid in the house, who was not good-looking and had no talent, and it was only because of my father's drunken promiscuity that I had me. My voice was an accident, and even worse, it was a stain on my father, Ouyang Chong. My arrival made him lose face in front of everyone.

This trespass on the "Tiger's Den" turned out to be twofold. Afterwards, A-Niang was grounded for half a year because of lax discipline, was reprimanded by Da Xiao, and was deducted for three months; On the other hand, in exchange for the deep 'sympathy' of the clansmen, my mother and I finally achieved unexpected results with the help of that aunt and grandmother, and we were confused to hang our names on the genealogy of the Ouyang Yi clan. As for why she wanted to help us, I was ignorant at that time, I was just grateful to her, and I couldn't wait to give her a pension when I grew up, and I completely ignored the calculations behind her.

I finally got a name, I finally got on the family tree, and I finally had an identity in this family. I think, I have become a real fifth lady, can I get a charcoal fire without smoke in winter, can I have iced white fungus soup to drink in summer, is it that A-Niang will live a more relaxed life, will not be bullied by her subordinates at will, and will not secretly cry in the middle of the night while I am asleep. However, in reality, A-Niang became more and more unhappy, and I faced endless depression from then on.

Ah Niang was worried all day long, guarding a small yard and refusing to take a step, and even locked me in the house during the New Year's holidays.