(a)

"Have you found a tutor?" The woman in the carriage asked.

"No, I gave up in the end. I went back to school and I didn't want to sell myself. After finishing speaking, Jia Xiaodao took a sip of Nongfu Spring.

"Hehe, you, you don't want to do anything."

"Hehe, yes, but I often contribute to "Women's Square", have you heard of it?"

"Many famous magazines. It seems that your college is not idle at all. ”

"No, I wrote it because I had nothing to do!"

"Alright, let's talk about something else."

"Love, I don't want to talk about love anymore because I didn't get love in college. Later, we had two more relationships, one girl broke up in less than a month because she really didn't like it, and one girl liked it herself, but we separated because she had a genetic disease that couldn't be combined. In fact, sometimes, fate plays a big joke on itself, a big joke, so much that I can't afford to lose. I don't know what love is, I always thought that as long as I loved each other, we could be together, but in fact, how naïve it was to have this kind of thought. What love needs is not only emotion, but also a realistic foundation for being together. Hey, looking back, how can there be love in the world? When Jia Xiaodao said these words, his heart was a little dull.

"If there is no love, it is fictional, by the way, a young writer wrote an article called "Fictional Love". I'll show you it, in my bag. With that, the woman pulled out a book from her bag.

Attach:

"A Fictional Love"

You walk between your fingers in March, and there are no veins or blood vessels between your fingers, only shallow cracks and pale blue hairs. At this time, there is no wind, no rain, only the coming night and the clouds swimming in the sky. You lower your head, look at the ground that you are stepping on, take a deep breath, and you say to yourself, let's go, the road is under your feet, go and make up a love.

In fact, you know that her dark black eyebrows and bright hair have suffocated you, but you don't want to admit it, and you don't want to mention it. You walk to a tree, which is old, and this tree does not have any desire for youth. And you sit under the tree, and there is a stone under the tree, a stone with a scar. You sit on a stone and toast yourself to the shadow you left behind at dusk, brother, and all will pass, just as the southeast tide will soon recede. Your shadow doesn't seem to appreciate it, it twists itself into a terrifying monster before the night begins. You say, what's the point of twisting like that, brother, it's just an accidental loss. Your shadow is silent, you're angry, and with your scarce imagination, in this twilight, toast once again to a glass of spirits. Some lovers pass by you, and you look at them, and you wonder, are they lost themselves, or are you being lost by them. You stare at the white clothes that were blown by the wind, and the unique gilded necklace on the woman, and you say, this is not yours, this is not yours, this belongs only to the past, this belongs only to the future.

You drank a glass of wine again, brother, you said to yourself, on this day when the peach blossoms are blooming, who is willing, who is willing, willing to accompany you on a journey, accompany you through a storm. You say, you want to listen to a song, no one has ever heard this song, this song belongs only to you. You have sang, every old poem, every lonely song, written in front of the glass window after the rain, under the plane tree...... But, brother, you sing incompletely, as you have written in your diary. You say to yourself, forget it, in fact, no mirror has ever been perfect, just like your life, your love.

Brother, on this night without imagination, you say to yourself, you are going to make up a love. You say that the person you love belongs to God. Fuck, you must not feel sorry for yourself, you walk firmly on the knife of youth, and say to yourself, even if there is blood, even if there is a wound, you will go to the territory of the spirit. But the person you love is in another world, and you wonder if there is a wall or a raging river between you, because you can't go beyond it, you can't ferry. My dear, you finally called yourself your dear seriously, this dear has always been the patent of love, but you have used yourself. Brother, the night has darkened, and you still don't want to wake up, you throw away the wine bottle and your black poetry book. You say to yourself, fuck off your poetry collection, fuck off your fantasies. You just want to reminisce, to reminisce about the past, to reminisce about that irrepressible dream. None of them, you think, can be predicted.

Brother, she stopped beside you, her eyes were not on you, she looked at the black sky and said to you, shut up, you are nothing. Drinking, smoking, and depravity don't solve anything. You go quiet, your facial muscles twist, and you say, "Actually, I'm nothing, yes, nothing." You stand up, you walk over, you open your palm, and you say, I wish this palm would stay on your face. And then you don't talk about it, your brain is messed up, you lose the beer bottle, you lose the black poetry book, and even you drop the shadow of drinking with you. And then you run away, you have to run through this March, you have to run through this spring, but you can't, you can't even run through this night. So you cry, your tears fall on your fingers, and you shake off the tears, like shaking off the years.

The night is even hasher, you walk up to her, take her struggling hand, honey, everything is gone, nothing is happening again, you belong to yourself, you are free, you will fly like a blue bird in your territory. There are tears in her eyes, and these tears indicate relief, or happiness, which no longer means anything to you.

……

It's a March night and you're dreaming of riding a horse yourself and starting a new journey. In fact, you know very well that this March, some stories are happening, and some love is fictional.

(b)

"Hehe, how can love be fictional. This article is just venting my depression. Jia Xiaodao said to the woman after reading it.

"Then you can also vent, write articles to vent. Didn't you say that you are a literary youth, so make full use of your own literary resources. ”

"Don't talk about literature, I've completely lost hope in it. Yes, I have now lost the strength and courage to hope. A writer once said that literature is a dog's day, and I don't think it's false at all! ”

"Hehe, it seems that you are too extreme. Well, talk about something else. ”

"Well, forget it, there's nothing to talk about!"

"Shall we play poker then?"

"Okay, it's okay to take a break."

So Jia Xiaodao took out the poker box from his bag and pulled out the cards, the woman stretched her waist and said, "It's okay to start, I don't know when I played last night, and I fell asleep after playing." ”

"Hehe, I'm not going to fall asleep now."

"No, it won't."

So Jia Xiaodao and the woman sat face to face and began to play cards. Some of the people in the carriage came out of the bathroom with face towels, apparently to wash their faces. Some were standing in the smoking room smoking, smoke swirling around his face. Some people have not yet woken up, blindfolded themselves and wandered in the world of dreams. Some people opened their windows and the wind blowing from outside greeted them, bringing coolness to the inside of the carriage.

Outside the car window are endless slopes, fruit groves, and grass. Occasionally, farmers can be seen walking down the hillside with shovels, some of them looking at the speeding train, as if thinking about something. The sun was shining in all directions in the sky, shining the sun on the earth and adding a golden garment to the earth.

A bird or flock of birds flew past a telephone pole outside the car and made a high-pitched cry that seemed to sing and tell. Occasionally, you can see an old man riding a donkey playing a flute and walking on a country road, and they are so happy and satisfied with this peaceful life.

Jia Xiaodao took out a blackhead A and threw it on the table and said, "What's the matter, you can't lose, it's too late to surrender now!" ”

"No, I'm going to stay the course!"

"If you have a personality and a pursuit, then wait and see how you move." After finishing speaking, Jia Xiaodao threw out 3 2s.

"You're really good at decking."

"That's it."

Jia Xiaodao and the woman played poker in their seats for a long time. Time passed slowly.

City D Station is almost there. Some people are in a hurry to squeeze to the door of the car with their bags on their backs or bags, and they must be very excited at the moment.

Yes, some people may have been wandering all their lives, and now they can finally return to their hometown. They can see their longing relatives or friends who don't know how happy they are.

Some people may have a beautiful dream to work hard in this city, and they hope to find their own piece of world in the ancient city of D. Some people may pass through this city and hope to leave their footprints in this city, hoping to leave a good memory in their limited life.

Jia Xiaodao looked at these busy crowds and sincerely wished them that everything would start happily and everything would end happily.

"What are you looking at?"

"Look at these people who are in a hurry to get off the bus, they can finally return to their hometown."

"Hehe, yes, the word hometown touches everyone's heart so much. Everyone who wanders in a foreign land has missed their hometown and their relatives. ”

"What about you, have you missed your relatives since you left Sichuan this time? Now, when I can finally go back safely, do I miss them more? ”

"Needless to say. Actually, I'm sorry for them. In order to find his own ethereal ideals, a person went to Hunan in a hurry, and who knew that he had encountered a pyramid scheme. It's like a dream. ”

"Don't sigh, when you go back this time, you will learn your lesson. Your dreams will soon be found. Therefore, you should not lose faith in yourself. ”

"Faith, what do I do to strengthen my faith? I'm just a child dragged by fate, I have no direction, no goal, I'm always pessimistic and hopeless. ”

"I don't think you really go to the sky, if you go out for a walk, you know that in fact, fate is changed by yourself, you have to believe in yourself."

(c)

Later, Jia Xiaodao gradually looked down on his feelings, he wanted to find something for himself, he didn't want to fall like that. So he began to work hard for the Mandarin test, English level 4 test, and computer level test.

Just when Jia Xiaodao was running around for the exam, another junior brother was transferred from another dormitory. He occupies Libo's empty bed. Jia Xiaodao said to Lin Feng, will this be the next Li Bo again. Lin Feng smiled lewdly and said, maybe fucking, even more powerful than Li Bo, not only explained the knowledge to us, but also graduated from the postdoctoral degree of the pickle girl school.

", that makes sense." Xiong Yang in the bedroom echoed.

However, none of us guessed for sure. The junior students are far below our estimates. Not only is it not open, but it is very introverted. He is a taciturn man who sits in his dorm room with his laptop every day and never goes out much. Jia Xiaodao knew that this little junior brother didn't talk about women, but he was interested in games. It seems that people have some special hobbies. Women, cigarettes, wine, games, play.

Jia Xiaodao has become accustomed to this and is numb. He lives at three o'clock every day, and he silently waits for graduation to come. Wu Bing's sentence was commuted because he reported a prisoner in prison who was preparing to escape. In a few years, he will be able to come out. Jia Xiaodao thought to himself that his former brother, because he had no one to guide him, went to the field and lost himself, but in the end he became a prisoner. Fate is so fucking changeable.

Wang Liang returned to his hometown from Beijing and opened a snack bar next to a high school with his father. Yes, he gave up his unrealistic dreams, or rather fantasies. Dou Hui, still with his elderly wife, runs a noodle shop in the county, fortunately, the annual income is quite optimistic. Dou Hui also told him that he had bought a house in the county seat.

Chen Mao opened a teahouse and lost money, and now he is ready to go to Guangzhou to develop. However, he didn't know exactly what he was going to do.

Wang Hong, who works as a reporter for a major newspaper, is no longer as cynical as he used to be. Li Bo has graduated, teaches in a middle school, and I heard that it took tens of thousands of yuan to barely get this job. Jia Xiaodao's brother is still living an irregular life, sleeping during the day and going out to surf the Internet all night at night. A senior brother held a wedding in a restaurant, and I heard that her wife and her two little sweethearts had no guesses.

When Jia Xiaodao was still a month away from graduation, they suffered a major earthquake in Sichuan. Jia Xiaodao and his brothers in the dormitory all moved the mats and sheets to the open space on campus at that time. Damn, those nights, it was so romantic. Although, everyone was afraid that there might be an earthquake, so they shook their feet, and then fell into the pit, and never been seen again. However, at night, the starry sky was brilliant, the moonlight was bright, and they slept so close to the beautiful woman next to them, and the group of men suddenly had no fear. Taking advantage of the moonlight, Jia Xiaodao saw the plump ** of Banhua on the other side, although through the white shirt, his heart was very inflated.

In the end, the earthquake did not hit Jia Xiaodao's school. After sleeping outside the school for four or five days and nights, the group moved back to the dormitory with great interest.

"It's not a lot of fun." The group in the dormitory were a little excited, they had long forgotten the fear they had when the earthquake first came. On the contrary, he complained that it ended in such a hurry and failed to talk and laugh with the beauties in the department.

Later, one more incident occurred one night after the earthquake ended. Jia Xiaodao became a hero, and he personally participated in an operation to catch a thief. It was around 5 a.m., and Jia Xiaodao was woken up by screaming. When I got up, it turned out that the brothers in the dormitory were chasing a thief. Jia Xiaodao and the brothers in the dormitory, put on their clothes and bare feet, they rushed out, and after everyone's concerted efforts, they finally caught the thief. Unexpectedly, the thief was a minor, and they lived in the countryside near the school. Come in at night, over the wall, ready to steal some money for the Internet. However, luck was too bad and he was caught the first time. Jia Xiaodao is very disappointing, this hero title is very cowardly, and he failed to send the thief to prison. Because the thief is a minor, it can only be criticism and education.

Before graduating, Jia Xiaodao saw those crying couples with his own eyes, they hugged each other and were reluctant to give up, grief-stricken. Yes, after four years of love, it's finally time to say goodbye. But when it was time to say goodbye, I couldn't suppress my sadness. Cui Yingying begged Xiong Yang to return to her hometown, but Xiong Yang couldn't do anything. Yes, Xiong Yang is not a person with outstanding ability, he does not have the ability to go to a strange city to support his lover. Cui Yingying left, and Xiong Yang also left. On the day Xiong Yang left, Jia Xiaodao didn't have time to send him.

Lin Feng is still like that, he has no repentance, sticks to women every day, plays mahjong, and goes to the dance hall with friends from the physical education department and music department to play wildly.

One of the junior brothers in the department committed suicide and jumped from the fifth floor, because he owed a lot of money to the network administrator, and finally jumped off the building because he couldn't pay it off. A girl from the Department of Foreign Languages was raped by a passing migrant worker while walking on the railway outside the school at night. In order not to publicize it, the school promised the female voice to go to graduate school without examination. There is also a bar friend in the post bar, because he was dumped by his girlfriend, wrote a confession letter, and is now admitted to a psychiatric hospital. A netizen formed a band and continued to deceive the ignorant junior sister in the lower grades at the academy. A certain birdman in the physical education department got drunk and beat a woman, and this woman slept with the young people in the society for one night, so the birdman in the physical education department finally lay in the hospital and was seriously injured. There were some ** lakes in the school post bar, and a group of newcomers came in. It seems that the lord has also changed. The price of a night out for some girls in the music department has not changed, and the taxi driver at night still talks about it. Thankfully, there are some poetry students in the Chinese department, and they are no longer called crazy.

The college has planted many new trees, and Jia Xiaodao thinks that one day, these trees will become the pillars of the motherland.

(iv)

"It's almost there, and lo and behold, you can smell the smell of City D." Jia Xiaodao's heart became happy, and he was a little nervous. yes, it's been almost two weeks since I came out, and I almost never came back because I blindly trusted my friends.

It's really reluctant, by the way, I still have a few questions, you can tell me. What happened to Xu Anqi in the end? And what did Xuesong do? The woman was a little reluctant and seized the opportunity to ask.

Jia Xiaodao continued to tell the story around the woman while sorting out his luggage.

Since the night he had a relationship with Xu Anqi, Jia Xiaodao has only seen Xu Anqi twice. Once in the red light district, after Jia Xiaodao met Xu Anqi. Xu Anqi didn't recognize him. Maybe it's pretending not to know. Another time, at the school, Xu Anqi went through the relevant procedures in the Academic Affairs Office. Regarding Xu Anqi's final news, Jia Xiaodao heard some rumors. Rumor has it that Xu Anqi said that Xu Anqi committed suicide by jumping off the building. Some people say that Xu Anqi met an official in the process of picking up customers. The officer bit off her two ** and used a sharp weapon ** Xu Anqi's lower body. Xu Anqi shot back, and after cutting off the official's lower body with scissors in a fit of anger, she jumped from the high-rise building of the hotel in despair......

Jia Xiaodao did not see the photo of Xu Anqi jumping off the floor, nor did he see the name Xu Anqi jumping off the building in official news. So what he knew might be just rumors. But one thing is for sure, he has never been in contact with Xu Anqi again.

Some time before leaving City D for Hunan, Jia Xiaodao met Xuesong. When I met him. Cedar drives an Audi. After Jia Xiaodao sat in the Cedar Audi, he went to a high-end club. After exchanges, it was learned that Xuesong has now earned more than 4 million yuan through the usury business. At that time, Xuesong also contracted an earthwork business in City C, and heard that he could earn millions of yuan after completion.

I don't know, I haven't been in touch with Xuesong for so long, how is his business now? Is it a loss, or a gain. Jia Xiaodao himself didn't know.

"The train is coming, I really don't have time to talk to you again, let's have a chance to get together in the future." The train slowed down, and the D-City station arrived.

"Let's leave a phone call for each other, QQ!" Jia Xiaodao proposed.

"Okay, here's my business card. Here you go. The woman pulled out a business card and handed it to Jia Xiaodao.

Jia Xiaodao took it for a day, and was speechless in surprise. He opened his lips and froze. "Are you...... Are you Annie? ”

"Yes, don't be surprised. Glad to hear your story. ”

"It's incredible to meet you. I love your text. ”

"Hehe, thank you. Goodbye, believe in yourself, don't be pessimistic, ideals determine destiny, self-confidence determines life! Believe in yourself, and the future will be better! ”

"Goodbye." Jia Xiaodao and Anne parted at the train station, each walking in their own direction.

After Jia Xiaodao returned to school, he found the teachers in the department and apologized to them deeply. reviewed that he had not studied hard in college for several years, skipping classes, fighting, falling in love, and delaying his studies.

Seeing that Jia Xiaodao had thought about it sincerely, the teacher in the department couldn't bear it and gave Jia Xiaodao a chance. Let him review as soon as possible, and the department is ready to give him a chance to retake the exam.

After doing this, Jia Xiaodao began to study intensively. In the past few years of college, there has never been a time when I have worked harder and more passionate.

Things went smoothly, and a month later, Jia Xiaodao passed the graduate make-up exam with the tolerance of the department's leaders, and was lucky to get the graduation certificate and bachelor's degree.

(5)

Two years later, Jia Xiaodao sat in front of the computer and chatted about QQ. The décor in the room is impeccably exquisite, and a young and beautiful woman is cooking for Jia Xiaodao in the kitchen.

Xiong Yang: Jia Xiaodao, how is it in Beijing?

Jia Xiaodao: It's okay, you work as an editor in a listed company's internal magazine, what about you?

Xiong Yang: Hey, so-so. I took the township civil service exam.

Jia Xiaodao: I don't want to be a teacher anymore.

Xiong Yang: No, you have to keep pace with the times. Civil servants are idle, stable, and have ideas.

Jia Xiaodao: You're amazing, brother.

Xiong Yang: It's a great hammer, Lao Tzu took the exam four times before he was admitted. Damn, a township unit recruits 2, and more than 300 people apply for the exam. Lao Tzu came in after passing the test.

Jia Xiaodao: Awesome, you fuck you. Now you can, in the future, birth, old age, sickness and death will be paid by the state.

Xiong Yang: Hey, brother. You have won the prize, by the way, it is said that Li Bo is not only teaching, but also raising pigs. Did you know?

Jia Xiaodao: Really, I haven't heard of it, but damn it, not only educate children, but also educate piglets. It's promising. However, now there is a profit to be made from pig farming. Prices have risen, and pork must be reasonable. There is gold in pork.

Xiong Yang: Haha, you're shitty.

Wang Hong: Jia Xiaodao, I haven't seen you for a long time.

Jia Xiaodao: Yes, Brother Wang, Hangzhou chicks are good, right?

Wang Hong: Don't be kidding, how can I have time to talk about that now, I have been admitted to graduate school, and now I am at Jiangnan University.

Jia Xiaodao: I really envy you, full of economy and knowledge.

Wang Hong: Jia Xiaodao, in addition to a book on the book market recently, Anne co-authored it with an unknown person, the content of the book is simply a copy of your and my college life, called "Our Youth is Sick". Fuck, it's a rip-up of our university.

Jia Xiaodao: Really? Hehe, you and I are just a microcosm of the confused young people of this era, and the lives of college students are similar now, so it is not strange. Everyone has a stage of confusion. But looking back now, I realize how naïve it was then, when we were like frogs at the bottom of a well, never knowing how vast and wonderful the outside world was. In fact, our confusion now seems completely unnecessary, if we really know how to work hard and learn more knowledge at that time, our current fate may not be like this!

Wang Hong: Yes, at that time in Sichuan, our vision was too narrow, and we didn't see how brilliant and vast the sky outside was. In fact, a person must not look down on himself, he should have ideals, and work hard for his ideals. And you shouldn't complain. The road paved by relationships is not strong.

Jia Xiaodao: Yes, Tianxingjian, a gentleman should strive for self-improvement. Well, our youth was wasted like that, and I regret it now that I think about it. Hey, if we hadn't left Sichuan, maybe we would still be a part of the confusion now, and in our eyes, there would still be that dark sky.

Xiong Yang: Jia Xiaodao, do you know Lin Feng? Something went wrong.

Jia Xiaodao: Xiong Yang is also here, what's wrong?

Wang Hong: What happened?

Xiong Yang: In a bar, I was fighting for a girlfriend with others and was cut. After more than a dozen cuts, it looks like he's going to be disabled.

Jia Xiaodao: Is this really the case?

Wang Hong: Really.

Xiong Yang: Hey, hey, I'll have to pay it back sooner or later. If you are born in a woman's bush, you will eventually catch fire because of a woman.

Wang Hong: Everything this kid does has something to do with women.

Jia Xiaodao: Yes.

Wang Hong: Xiong Yang, when will you come to Zhejiang to play? Jia Xiaodao too.

Xiong Yang: Okay, definitely. Summer vacation is coming.

……

Jia Xiaodao turned off QQ and sat on the sofa and fell into deep thought. The woman in the kitchen is still busy, and the sky of Beijing is boundless.

The streets are full of people and cars. This all indicates to us that this is a prosperous era, and this is a period of breaking through the confusion.

(f)

Jia Xiaodao stood up and opened the curtains, he looked at the bustling streets of Beijing downstairs, and remembered the one he escaped from the pyramid scheme at the beginning, and the past buried in his heart.

At that time, after going to Hunan City A with Wang Ming, Jia Xiaodao still believed in Wang Ming very much at first, and admired Xiaojie's sister's speech. The reason why MLM is so easy to control people, Jia Xiaodao summed it up, is nothing more than to grasp people's psychology.

Jia Xiaodao was the most helpless period in his life at that time, he couldn't get a bachelor's degree, and he didn't have a job, so what he hoped most at this time was to find a job as soon as possible so that he could get rid of his feelings and losses.

However, what happened later made Jia Xiaodao understand that in fact, their MLM theory, as long as they were a little sensible, would not be brainwashed by them. Just like Murong Xuecun said, China lacks so much medicine. This flavor medicine is common sense.

After Xiaojie's sister brainwashed the people in the MLM team many times, Jia Xiaodao found that he did not do practical things in this family, such as selling products, running business, and talking about projects, but listened to lectures and studied in the same way every day. This made Jia Xiaodao feel very depressed, could it be that just listening to the class like this, could he earn the millions, tens of millions, as Xiaojie's sister said? In the first two weeks of Jia Xiaodao's MLM team, he almost didn't even see a shadow of money. Second, the conditions of food and housing were too poor, and Jia Xiaodao found that more than 10 people were crowded in a private house, and they could not eat meat, drink alcohol, or go out to buy delicious food every day. This incident made Jia Xiaodao very depressed. Jia Xiaodao is a person who is not happy with meatless diet. The catering is bad, and he is very opinionated. Jia Xiaodao made an awkward encounter because of this and protested. However, the leader of the pyramid scheme team defended that he had to endure hardships when he came out to struggle, and only when he endured hardships did he become a superior person. Could it be that if you eat a few yuan of rotten vegetable leaves, you can become a master, talk about big business, and make a lot of money. Jia Xiaodao was not interested in this theory at all, and also expressed his strong dissatisfaction. Third, after Jia Xiaodao lived in the team for more than a week, Sister Xiaojie gave everyone a task. Let everyone call their relatives and friends, lie that they are doing big projects in this city, and deceive them into coming to City A to do big business and make a lot of money. When Jia Xiaodao saw this, he realized that the theories that Sister Xiaojie had told her before were just words on paper. In their blueprint, there is no big business at all. Their business is to deceive one relative after another into a pyramid scheme, and then continue to develop downlines until they have deceived their relatives.

Sister Xiaojie asked Jia Xiaodao to call her relatives as well. After Jia Xiaodao understood, he resolutely refused. This aroused the strong dissatisfaction of Wang Ming and the others, and they also increased their vigilance against Jia Xiaodao and monitored him very strictly, for fear that Jia Xiaodao would do something bad.

However, Jia Xiaodao's desire to escape was more resolute. On a dark and windy night in the moon, Jia Xiaodao quietly opened the door and ran away while people were not paying attention. He ran to the train station and, failing to buy a ticket, fooled in.

With full of remorse and helplessness, Jia Xiao took the train home. However, from the moment you step on the train, it will be an unusual journey again.