If you can't say goodbye, how do you say goodbye?

After Li Xiaoai got into the passenger seat, he didn't say a word, and looked at the front with empty eyes. It was past noon, but it seemed to me that it was superfluous to ask her what she wanted to eat, and her expression did not look like she could swallow food.

"Drink a drink of water and wipe your head." I helped her unscrew the cap and handed it over, only to take a sip and back it up.

The tissues were spread out on her hands, her hands on her laps, motionless, the windshield blurred by the drizzle, and she couldn't see anything clearly.

"I'm a little hungry." I cheerfully interrupted the man who was sleeping next to me with his eyes open.

Li Xiaoai turned around slowly, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll accompany you to eat something." ”

"What do you like to eat?"

"I'm not hungry..."

"I know, I just want to know what you like to eat."

As if she had finally interrupted her sorrow, she was looking up and thinking, "Hmm... Roast duck... Jajang-myeon..."

"Wow, it's all northern food?"

She looked at me again, nodding slowly.

I started the engine, and when I turned around, the tissue was still on her hand, and I picked it up and put it on top of her head, "I'm going to get sick if my hair gets wet." ”

No response...

"I'll help you?"

Still no response...

I had to gently rub the tissue on top of her head to help her dry, and she slowly turned to look at me without saying much, and suddenly smiled, and I had to laugh away.

Outside the branch of Quanjude in the Special Administrative Region, I almost finished eating a roast duck and a bowl of fried noodles by myself, and I felt like I was about to die.

"You said you like roast duck and fried noodles, but you didn't eat two bites." The rain finally stopped, but it was still overcast.

Li Xiaoai followed me out of the store and looked up at the low clouds, "Where should I go now?" ”

I was racing in my mind for the answer, "A place where you can forget your worries." ”

"Where?" Li Xiaoai asked with her eyes slightly open.

"Let's go."

The double-decker merry-go-round in the playground, in the light fairy tale music, Li Xiaoai sat on the upper floor and kept spinning, while I stood outside the merry-go-round and looked at her like that, vigilant around.

The man spinning on the wooden horse was full of thoughts, and I began to think about it. Just now in the cemetery, in the restaurant, and now in the playground, there are no clues. The person hiding in the shadows disappeared as if it didn't exist at all, and thinking about it carefully, Li Xiaoai's actions today were too random, maybe the more random the place, the less time to prepare, and the possibility of creating an accident decreased.

At the end of the song, the children left the merry-go-round, only the person who was the least like a child still sat on the wooden horse with a blank gaze.

The staff was about to step forward, but I hurriedly shouted, "Please let her sit down, I'll help her make up the ticket." ”

In the rotation of circles and circles, the children's various laughter and cheerful music, Li Xiaoai finally got better. His eyes began to clear as he shook, and the corners of his mouth began to rise slightly.

"Thank you." Li Xiaoai, who had been sitting for an unknown number of rounds, got off the merry-go-round and didn't feel dizzy at all.

"Better?"

"No matter how sad you are, you can't cry sadly in such a joyful atmosphere with a group of children." Li Xiaoai's tone was soothing, and he took a deep breath, "You guys are really quite similar." ”

"We? Who? ”

"My dad, won't coax me, not even talk much, but..."

I waited for the following sentence, but in the end, all I waited for was Li Xiaoai's playful shrug. I didn't ask, but I could understand the meaning of the second half of the sentence.

The only half ray of light left in the sunset finally pierced through the thick stratus clouds in the sky, Li Xiaoai stopped and looked up at the colorful pillar of light, as if he had finally seen through something, and raised the corners of his mouth slightly, "The sky is clear..."

It seemed like it was said to me, and it seemed to be said to the sky.

"Shall we go pick up something?"

"Hmm!" This season happens to be the season of cherry blossoms, so why do I feel that her smile is not as cold as I have seen in winter?

The sun completely sets in the western mountains, and there are no street lights installed in the Longquanshan Cemetery park, and the entire cemetery is quiet.

"Have you ever been to the cemetery at night?" I held up my phone to illuminate, originally I wanted to follow her, but she sternly refused, the reason is simple, she was afraid.

"No~ can we go faster." Li Xiaoai pulled my arm and walked quickly.

"Shhhh

"Why?" She turned to look at me in horror.

"Don't disturb the sleeping of the people on both sides." I pointed to the low and dense tombstones on both sides, most of the incense candles had been burned, and the surrounding silence was a little oozing.

Li Xiaoai shuddered, her brows furrowed, "You still talk to scare me?" ”

"Haha, I thought you weren't too scared." Looking at her cautiously looking around me, I felt like laughing even more.

"Nay, you walked through the cemetery at night before?"

"In the past, it was common for troops to pass by graves at night in big ravines and ravines, and they were afraid to say that they were not afraid, but a group of young men were not so afraid to walk together. It's just..."My tone is gloomy, so it's mysterious.

"What?" Li Xiaoai turned her head and widened her eyes.

"It's just that once when I took my brothers to pass by the grave, I suddenly rushed up a few crows, and at first glance I thought it was a person who stood up from the grave~" I said softly, deliberately creating a sense of fluctuation.

But as soon as the words fell, a few birds flapping their wings really flew up in front of the dense low tombstones on the left, and the light of the mobile phone was not enough.

"Ah!!h Li Xiaoai threw himself into my arms as if he really saw a ghost and buried his head, I stiffened on the spot, and my face was also iron-blue.

The wind on the mountain was strong, the spring breeze and the trees in the sea breeze cemetery were blown even more shaking, I regretted the joke just now, Li Xiaoai froze in my arms and didn't want to go in for a single step.

"I hate it, I'm going home~ I'll come back tomorrow during the day." She was crying.

"There are too many people during the day to take the box."

"Nasty, nasty, from now on you shut up and don't speak." Li Xiaoai tugged at my sleeve and said in fear and anger.

Continue to walk along the road during the day, getting quieter and darker...

"You'd better say something~"

"Once upon a time there was a mountain..."

"Forget it, you'd better keep your mouth shut."

Finally arrived at Li Shukang's tomb, Li Xiaoai seemed to be accustomed to the mountain breeze and was no longer afraid of the dark. She shined her phone on the light, found the incense candles and paper money left on the side of the road during the day, and burned them in front of the cracked tombstone with the help of the fire.

I stood outside the small cemetery surrounded by stone fences and smoked, still vigilant about my surroundings and all kinds of accidents that could happen at any time.

"Dad, let's go home and live, don't live here." Li Xiaoai opened the complete small sarcophagus and took out the urn as she spoke.

On the way back, Li Xiaoai hugged the inky black box tightly, cautiously, and no longer felt the slightest fear. I think even if she really meets a ghost, she will still miss Li Shukang.

"Where do you put the box now?" When I got in the car, I didn't know where to go next.

"Go home." Li Xiaoai gave direction without hesitation.

"Probably not the hotel apartment you live in, right?"

"No, in the courtyard near Uncle Di's house, you drive over there first, and I'll show you the way when it's almost there." She put her arms around the inky black box, and felt very sorry.

"Then sit tight, I'll drive slowly."

"Hmm!"

All this day, I was on the lookout for any movement around me, lest a slight negligence miss the eyes of the shadows. The cars on the road, the people on the street, the rain in the early morning, and the wind in the evening, I tried my best to perceive everything around me, including Li Xiaoai, who was always by my side.

Let the night be calm today, and tomorrow morning will be a new day.

"Arrived?"

"Well, you park the car in the open space in front of the iron gate and let's go inside."

After driving down the alley for about five minutes, I parked my car in front of an almost identical square lattice building. The old neighborhood is lined with greenery, and most of the people walking around it are older residents.

"I didn't expect your home to be so close to Lao Di's house." followed Li Xiaoai into the community, if you weren't careful, you would really think that she was in the same yard as Lao Di's family.

"Actually, this is my father's first home in the Special Administrative Region, and although it looks a little old, I grew up here." seems to have regained some memories of her teenage years, and Li Xiaoai's expression has become more and more meaningful.

Following her to a featureless square building, Li Xiaoai glanced at the dark balcony on the third floor, and exhaled heavily, "Let's go, go up and sit down." ”

On the third floor, Li Shukang and Li Xiaoai's former home was decorated with old furniture, and because no one lived in it for a long time, a thin layer of dust was everywhere in the house, like the dust sprinkled by the years gradually accumulated into a vague fog.

Li Xiaoai gently placed his father's urn in the empty cabinet in the inner room, then covered it with a white cloth lifted from the sofa, knelt in front of the cabinet and read, "Dad, you have a good rest at home first, and then move there when I find a good place." ”

Time passed quietly in the night, and I had no intention of disturbing the good memories of her and Li Shukang, and I stepped out of the living room to the empty balcony alone, took out a cigarette case, and lit one.

Looking at the deep night sky, I thought to myself that no one in the world could avoid this last handful of ashes, and it was better to scatter a handful of dirt under my feet. It's just that a few people can walk peacefully, and the calm end is as calm as the sunset.

It's hard, it's really hard. Father... And my brothers who were born and died in the army, Liu Yi, Xin Rui... Now I am facing the favor of death at any time... To be able to lie quietly on your sleeping bed and quietly leave, it seems like a luxury.

I sighed deeply, and inadvertently the soot slid down, mixing with the thick dust at the foot of the balcony, and I couldn't tell the difference. I looked left and right to find a box or paper to shake off the soot, but I only saw a rusty mooncake box inside the glass door of the balcony cabinet. I thought it was filled with all kinds of miscellaneous items and metal tools, and I didn't think much about it, so I subconsciously wanted to remove the lid of the mooncake box to hold the cigarette ash.

I opened the glass cabinet door, took out the old mooncake box that looked a little heavy, and lifted the lid, and I was surprised by the contents inside. The mooncake box is filled with plastic dolls played by children, mixed with flower head ropes with tie hair, all kinds of trinkets, and a gray music box with extremely rough workmanship, which looks as old as this mooncake box. Inside this rusty box, people can recognize at a glance that it is a treasure box played by a little girl, but she is reluctant to throw it away for some years.