1. It's been ten days of cold war with my wife, and I still sleep on the sofa, tonight my wife suddenly came over, I was happy, I must have apologized to me, but my wife directly threw 200 yuan over: quarrel is quarrel, not right to people, give you 200 yuan for the old lady to prostitute......! After some clouds and rain, wife: Master, I don't want to give you a thousand to give my wife the whole night...

2. In the shopping mall, my son asked for a toy, a little expensive I was reluctant to buy, my son's expectant eyes kept looking, I asked him: "Buy you such an expensive toy, how can you repay me?" The son thought for a while and said: "I'll go to bed early tonight, you can play with my mother." ”

3. My brother went to a blind massage parlor after drinking, lay on the bed and waited for the technician to come. A beautiful technician came, and when I saw that she was not blind, I asked, "Aren't you blind people massaging here?" and the beautiful woman replied, "That's right, I'm illiterate!"

4. My buddy, who has practiced sanda for a few years, and later took a daughter-in-law, who feels very sorry for his daughter-in-law, every time he is beaten and scolded by his daughter-in-law, he never fights back, and he never scolds back. If you are really wronged, you go to the train station alone, deliberately expose the money, and a thief will steal it, and if you catch it, you will be beaten violently. After a long time, the thieves at the train station knew about him, and when they saw him coming, they all discussed: "This grandson is angry at home again, and he is angry here!"

5. It's all saying that girls usually eat when they go to the man's house for the first time, and my girlfriend is more powerful...... The first time I officially came to my house, I ate three steamed buns, a bowl of rice, two dishes and two bowls of soup...... Afterwards, my mother commented that this girl was so nice and not hypocritical at all...... I was not inferior, I went to her house for the first time and ate 5 steamed buns and two dishes, plus poured his dad down......

6. Seeing that my brother-in-law had drunk too much and rushed directly onto the road, I dragged him back... Seeing him drunk on the ground and unconscious, I immediately sent a WeChat message to my cousin and wrote: "Sister, forgive my brother-in-law! Emotional matters, no one is right or wrong, as long as the person is still there, cherish it, the husband and wife have no overnight feud, and it is not a big deal, you see you forced your brother-in-law, this is how much wine you drank, just now he rushed to the road, almost hit by a car, if I didn't take him in time, the consequences are unimaginable..."

7. I have lived with my girlfriend for 7 years, from high school to college, she has had two abortions, and I feel very sorry for her. After graduation, we really wanted to have a baby, but we couldn't conceive it, I knew it might be a fetus, but I still went to the hospital for a check-up, and the doctor told me that it was infertile. My girlfriend just came from another doctor and said to me with a happy face: I'm pregnant!

8. My cousin and my daughter-in-law took their two-year-old son to eat mutton last night, but the son vomited and leaked at night, and the two of them took their son to the hospital! Originally, my cousin was very anxious and upset. Her daughter-in-law was still crying there! The cousin yelled at her: "Don't cry there, it's annoying!" The sister-in-law replied: "It's not your child, of course you don't feel distressed!"