"Do you want to deliver a room?"

“...... If you want, you can too. ”

Oh, it seems that the gift is not this.

The lights illuminated the walls in a miserable white. The main body of the building is in European style, which is quite ordinary. The only striking thing is that there is a clear glass hemisphere on top of the third floor. The light can't catch up so high, it's pitch black. I think maybe it's a plant greenhouse or something.

He skillfully opened the door, turned on the light, and led me in. The inside is fairly clean and should be taken care of regularly. Without redundant foreshadowing such as tea, he led me straight to a white tapered column with a spiral staircase that ran through three floors.

But there is a metal door embedded in the pillar, which is an elevator. Step inside the elevator and it has four buttons that lead to it. The doctor pressed the top one, not 4, but blank.

We came to the hemispherical building.

It's empty, it's a little cold, it's not a greenhouse. I don't know what the doctor did, and the entire arc-shaped dome suddenly glowed with sparkling light.

It is the starry sky spliced by the electronic screen, and you can't even see the gap between the glass screens.

"It was spectacular...... It's a pity it's fake. ”

I make this assessment.

"And what about here?"

Starlight brings some light to the space, and the outline of an astronomical telescope appears in view. The doctor adjusted the height of the seat, and I walked over and put my eyes on it.

He was helping to make adjustments.

I have never seen a universe so real.

The craters on the Moon, the waxing and waning of Venus, the rings of Saturn, the lines of Jupiter...... These rare sights were presented to me in full view, and even several beautiful star clusters were clearly visible.

It's breathtakingly beautiful.

Finally, he stopped the telescope at a specific location. I didn't observe anything, he just told me to wait patiently. After a while, I saw a flash of light.

It's a shooting star.

Gradually, they multiplied, one after the other, and people were overwhelmed. They are beautiful, appear quickly, and disappear quickly. But this is such a large number that one can ignore the tininess of the individual.

Academically, this level should perhaps be called a meteor storm.

It's really spectacular and beautiful.

But...... It's just the demise of meteorites in the atmosphere.

That's all.

The moment such rational and pessimistic thoughts arise, they are infinitely magnified.

I suddenly felt that in this vast universe, I was too small, too powerless.

No, don't ...... at such a time?

The negativity swells instantly, squeezing everything else into the corner. It's like a drowning person who doesn't have time to struggle, and is crushed by a new wave of water.

All the previous doubts were blurred and unimportant: why did the doctor know that meteors could be observed here, why did he know that they would appear on a day I had chosen at random, and why he always ......

All these doubts have been washed away.

In its place, there is a memory.

A memory that I couldn't resist anymore.

I tried to suppress it, but I had a terrible headache. The doctor noticed my abnormality and held me in a panic. He didn't seem to expect such a thing to happen.

He just hugged me tightly.

"I've killed people. ”

“...... What are you talking about?"

I couldn't control my body, my teeth chattered, and it was difficult to say every word. The doctor helped me to sit down slowly on the ground and ran to get a thermos cup.

He opened the lid of the cup and blew carefully, waiting for me to calm down.

I was close to him and could smell the faint smell of medical alcohol on his body. It's reassuring.

"Exactly...... That's probably the only person I know, who can only die because of me. ”

At that time, I had just graduated from graduate school and entered the current booming old company according to the contract. I'm an actuary, but at the same time I'm just an intern.

To be reasonable, there is no ambiguity in the use of newcomers in such a large company, and I have not done anything nutritious, but I have been a cheap laborer for half a year.

It's a lot of pressure, and there are a lot of people and things that I can't get used to at all.

The company needed to be rectified and cleaned up – and my ambition was born at some point.

But, until then, I still need to work hard.

The sheer volume of tasks is overwhelming, and it's not uncommon to work overtime late into the night. Although the subsidy is quite objective, the body is really unbearable.

One day, it was early in the morning, and my task was finally completed, but another group was needed to review it, and I couldn't leave until the results were in. I bought two cans of beer from the vending machine and went to the rooftop to get some fresh air.

It was a hot and dry summer. But the upper floors at midnight are cool, with the occasional wind and the stars are dense and bright. I never knew that a night sky with slightly cleaner air could look so good.

Lying on the railing and just opening the can, I noticed a person sitting here not far away, his legs swinging outside.

The figure lowered his hand, and the spark of the cigarette butt drew a red trajectory.

"It's dangerous there. I said.

"Hmm. ”

He didn't look at it. In the darkness, I could vaguely see him nodding. The man's voice was somewhat soft, some hoarse. I walked in a little bit and noticed that there were already a lot of cigarette butts next to him.

"Are you tired too?"

After asking this question, I took a sip of wine.

"Well, I'm tired. Are you an employee here?"

"Yes. So, aren't you?"

"How so...... Eh, it's rare for women to drink beer. He turned his head and looked at me in the dark.

"Ah, yes, I just need a alcohol pick-me-up. Coffee doesn't seem to work for me. ”

"Oh...... That's it. ”

He digressed from the subject, and I didn't pursue any further questions. Everyone has what they want to say and what they don't want to say.

After that, we chatted about some things in a scattered way, ranging from living expenses to the economic situation, which was quite speculative. Coupled with the two cans of wine in my stomach, I don't seem to be so tired.

"The suicide rate of employees in this company is very high, and a girl who has no acquaintances is very tired. ”

"Ah, I know. It's tiring, but it's not that far...... At least for me for now. ”

We looked out into the distance together, and it was quiet because of the high floors.

But even late at night, the city is still bustling with red lights and green wine. The night sky also shimmers with stars, and the distant lines act like an axis of symmetry, allowing the lights on the ground to reflect the stars in the sky.

"You say...... This world is so beautiful, isn't it normal for people who want to die? ”

He said it suddenly. I shrugged in response, a boredom in my tone.

"This world is so sick that it is not normal for people to live. ”

"Hahahaha, is that really the case? ”

His voice was tired when he laughed, but it was also nice. I looked at him, but I still couldn't see his face.

There were no lights on the rooftop, and everything seemed so dark. The street lamps on the distant ground were so untouchable, like stars in the dark night.

My phone rang, and it was from the audit team. I said goodbye to him and got up to leave the rooftop.

Walking to the door of the car roof, I subconsciously glanced back at him.

He disappeared.

A bad premonition arose.

I hurried in the direction I had just done, and there was a long one in the pile of cigarette butts that had not been completely extinguished. But judging from the traces of cigarette pinching, it was not a stumble.

Looking downstairs, there was no ground in sight, only a pitch-black abyss.

It's 82 floors.

My legs went limp.

The next day, no news came out. I even went to the ground in that direction to make sure, and there was no trace. The company didn't mention anyone committing suicide, and I haven't seen him since.

Maybe he has been through a lot and has made up his mind, but this conversation may also be the last straw that breaks the camel's back.

I always felt that he had died because of my wayward words. After all, we can talk like that.

I don't want to die yet.

I was slowly valued for my excellent performance, and I was promoted little by little, and I climbed up step by step. Gradually, I also learned about the dark side of this company.

There are as many shadows as there are lights. This is not unfounded.

I've also checked the staff book, and no one has left me with a similar impression of the man that day. I suspect that perhaps he was a family member of an employee, or a victim of some incident, who committed suicide as a last resort.

But to deal with this kind of smearing, the company has done a lot of work. If you want to cover it, you will cover it - there are too many to find.

Human life is such a nuanced thing.

I don't know who he is, but I don't think that's the end for him.

No matter what kind of social structure, those at the bottom will always be regarded as stepping stones and victims.

Climb up, keep climbing up. It seems to be my instinct, etched in my bone marrow.

Through all kinds of ulterior and unspeakable ways, I finally climbed to where I am now.

used means to hollow out their top management, absorb and rebel against the elite, control the subsidiaries, and increase the shares-stealing beams for pillars, drawing salaries from the bottom of the kettle, hiding from the sky and the sea, and secretly displaying positions...... Thirty-six tactics have been used almost by me and my colleagues.

Finally, get rid of them in the way.

With these blood-stained hands, I climbed to the top of the bone pile.

It's cold. Is it really summer now?

"That's it. ”

The doctor didn't say a word the whole time. Eventually, he drove me back to my home.

I didn't want to say that. I had forgotten it, but this damn monster forced me to remember.

Even if I think about it, according to my character, I will never say it to others, and let it become a sharp blade to attack me.

But I told the doctor anyway.

To be honest, I think ...... Not bad.

The doctor gave me a familiar feeling, although we had never seen it. By telling him these words, I seemed to gain the illusion of being forgiven. I felt a lot more relaxed, as if I had lifted some burden.

I don't want to ask for forgiveness from a dead man, I just want to say it like puncturing a purulent blood bag. Now, I feel much better.

I can finally die in peace.

- To be continued -