Inside the dimly lit bar, I slowly fastened the box.

"Boss Qiu, this is contraband-"

I grabbed it in my direction and smiled at him.

At this time, the mobile phone suddenly rang, and the secretary said that there was a business gone wrong and needed the approval of the superior. I took it for granted to put on my coat and say goodbye to Qiu Miao.

After driving back to the company, I opened the door of the reception room and was greeted by a rich atmosphere.

On the coffee table, there is a bouquet of fiery roses.

Didn't I say that you shouldn't engage in formalistic things at festivals?

The secretary noticed my bad face and hurriedly came up and said that it was sent by the doctor. And there is also a paper bag that is stored with her. As she spoke, she handed over the bag.

There is a distinct fragrance in the paper bag. Inside is a platinum pendant, and a bottle of perfume.

These brands are nothing new to me, but they are in the luxury category.

In the early years, I turned down countless such gifts, and the holiday itself. They are just gimmicks, an excuse for merchants to circle money, and a reason to seek a sense of ritual.

Bored.

"I don't need to. ”

For the first time, I reached out to the doctor and sent such a message.

"All the other girls have it. ”

"I'm 28. ”

"It's still young. ”

"Superficial. ”

"What about cash?"

I'm a little amused with anger. I don't know what he's thinking, it's unbelievable.

I suddenly thought of the conversation I had with Boss Qiu in the afternoon.

Anti-transference?

No, the doctor is obviously a shrewd person too to trap himself in such an emotional trap, and I don't think I have anything to attract from it. I know what I'm wrong with myself – harsh, cold, unkind.

Oh, I see.

Because the patient is too rational to provide useful information to the counselor, he has to make emotional guidance to increase the patient's sense of dependence and steer the topic forward.

After all...... The winter passed and my condition barely improved. It's just that when I'm busy, this anomaly is not so obvious, and even if it appears, I can suppress it under high-intensity work. Occasionally, when this happens in public, I cover it up with my usual indifference.

It's just that it's pervasive. As soon as there is a slight gap in the schedule, it will unceremoniously pour in, and its power is multiplied. It's as if it's going to give back the part that was once suppressed.

It doesn't look like this spring is going to be easy.

I began to constantly reminisce about the past.

Those...... How I have subtly led others into danger, or how I have almost been counterattacked countless times.

Occasionally, I would reminisce about my family, and when I was a student. But my parents left early, and there are too few to remember. When I was in school, I didn't have anything impressive.

I really thought I had forgotten about them all and completely erased them from my mind.

But no.

Maybe they're just downplaying it, after all, the human brain has more memory than you can imagine. Like a computer, things that are judged to be unimportant are compressed and stored in a dusty folder. Only after long enough, long enough time for you to really relax, will they be disposed of in the recycle bin.

Perhaps, these memories only occupy a small memory, and the small ones are so inconspicuous. But now I feel like I've been hit by some kind of virus, and these organized files are often unzipped, released, and popped out when I was operating something else, and I can't close them no matter how I turn them off.

"Have you ever wondered...... Maybe it's not a mental breakdown? There are some conditions that are so similar to it that they are often confused. ”

I shook my head when the doctor said that. But I didn't refute it — I don't think I know how to make the most powerful rebuttal. I never fight back until I find such a force.

Admitting that I'm sick is already the biggest concession.

The doctor seemed to be about to add to what he had just said, but a thought interrupted him.

"Doctor, are we ...... Where have you seen it?"

"Huh?"

This time it was his turn to be speechless.

"No, no. Nothing, you go on well. ”

"Wait a minute," he snapped at the tail of the conversation, "my professional instinct tells me that what you just said is important. If I were an acquaintance in your memory, that would be great. Whether this kind of empathy is positive or negative, I think it will be helpful for my work. ”

Ah, he mentioned that word. He seemed to acquiesce that I understood what they meant.

"But I know you're not him. ”

"Why?"

"I can't remember. ”

I say so.

The doctor didn't force me, which made me a little relieved.

I'm telling the truth, and this part of the memory is just as vague. Maybe one day, it will show me its full face. Judging by the mood I am aware of, this must not be a memory I want to recall.

Shortly after the doctor left, I sat back at my desk.

As soon as he sat down, a small electric current flashed in his brain, like two disconnected wires touching lightly.

Although I still don't remember the whole thing, I know how it ended.

"You're not him, because he's dead. ”

I sent him a message.

"A long time ago. ”

This memory is a little bitter, and I feel inexplicable remorse.

It's just a small feeling, as trivial as the guilt I feel for those who died. But, under the effect of this pathology, all negative emotions are amplified.

It is like a catalyst in a chemical experiment, and it is like a combustible agent at the scene of a fire. Like HIV, it does not directly cause the death of the host, but it reinforces the lethality of other diseases.

Again, this unknown disease, this monster, let all my bad emotions dominate me.

After that, the doctor intermittently asked me to make an appointment for the next meeting, but due to my busy schedule and the avoidance that I had born for some reason, I was unable to spare time.

Probably, this is the so-called negative escapism.

Didn't I be good at facing problems with courage in the past?

I even began to wonder if I was running away from myself or the doctor.

However, in addition to formal communication about the condition, doctors often come here in private.

As before, he never interfered with my work, and even when I had to be busy for a long time and only send his men to greet him, he did not complain. Even, if I sit in the office all day, he's outside in the living room all day.

We didn't communicate, we didn't interfere with each other, he didn't know what I was dealing with, and I didn't know how he passed the time.

It's like he never knows why I'm always busy, and I never know where he has so much free time.

I don't even understand what he's thinking, what he's going to do.

Like all those disobedient memory packets before - I occasionally recall Boss Qiu's words.

Don't let him misunderstand that I'm in love with a doctor, really.

"I think it's true that he's in love with you. ”

I sneered and closed Qiu Miao's chat window. It didn't take long for his news to flicker again.

"Hey, don't be angry. He said you've been busy lately, and I think so, too, and you don't come to the store anymore :p"

Looking at the stupid emoji, I sighed.

There's no way I can't stay busy.

Slack off a little and the monster will find me.

I can't compete with it.

Spring goes and summer comes.

The office, the car, the home, almost always at a constant temperature, I don't have any idea of the heat this summer. I only occasionally catch a glimpse of the weather forecast in the news, or talk to someone about how they feel about the temperature of the day.

At the beginning of August, the doctor suddenly said that he had a gift for me, and I was sure to make some time around Tanabata.

In the past, if he didn't explain why and what, I would decisively refuse. I'm not born with any unnecessary curiosity, and I'm not interested in this little surprise that delays my time.

But unfortunately, I wasn't busy in those days. Sometimes I even wonder if he is a wizard in some film and television work, proficient in some strange and mysterious divination, and knows my time plan well.

"It's a mystery. What if I don't accept it. ”

"Trust me, you will. ”

This inexplicable self-confidence makes me very unhappy. However, in order to escape the monster's pursuit of me in my free time, I could not refuse.

On the ninth day of the seventh lunar month, two days after the Qixi Festival, on a crisp night, I got into the doctor's car for the first time.

Mid-to-high-end brands, unlike those that a counselor can afford. Sure enough, as Boss Qiu said, this guy made a lot of unclean money in his early years.

But so what, what does it have to do with me now?

Along the way, we didn't say much. I was so tired that I fell asleep in the passenger seat for a while, but the doctor woke me up when I got there.

What a mistake, if there is any enemy who will die?

When did I become so slack?

After getting out of the car, I felt a cool breeze. It's a far cry from what I had imagined in the hot summer – it was probably late at night.

Looking into the distance, the starlight shines on the outline of the vast sea. Looking back, there is a lush slope.

On the hill near the sea - I make this judgment.

The car is parked on a concrete-poured platform that appears to be a purpose-built outdoor parking lot. It's not big, it can only accommodate three or four cars. So, this shouldn't be a scenic spot.

"It's going to be a little bit of a walk, not too far. ”

I'm not here to climb the mountain?

I wanted to complain, but I swallowed my true thoughts back into my stomach. I had to hide my emotions – to anyone.

Walked a little bit up the mountain. My high heels weren't good for climbing because I didn't know what to expect. I have to admit that I have always been negligent in not fighting unprepared battles. But in inconvenient places, the doctor would always pull me, so it wasn't that hard.

The destination is a small villa.

...... He's really rich, this guy.

- To be continued -