At a party in Wuhan not long ago, Zhou Pei tilted his head and asked the seniors present in confusion: "I have seen many excellent men and women, they have cultivated themselves so well, why can't they find someone who loves each other and stay single?" ”

Her words reminded Han Yi of the excellent but single men and women she met when she was still a literary and technical otaku.

In college, their club is also a beautiful woman, and the best-looking senior sister in Han Yi's eyes should be Zhong Yinger. That was after that, she had been single, not that no one was chasing after her, but that she was violently pursued by a senior who seemed to them to be handsome but automatically blocked, and that person was Du Shaofeng.

He not only has some good looks, but also is very good at sweet talk, and his clothes are very tasteful, unlike most boys of the same age who don't look like they have grown up, he stood in front of the girls' dormitory building, and many girls had their own light sticks in their eyes, but Zhong Yinger was still unmoved by sending flowers and water for more than half a year, so he had to stop fighting.

Han Yi has also witnessed these with his own eyes.

At that time, Han Yi had just met Zhong Ying'er, and he also asked Zhong Ying'er tentatively and curiously: "Why don't you be with such a handsome senior?" ”

She was Han Yi's minister, and said with a smile and disdain: "I hate it most when boys spend all their time dressing up, and their hair is combed so that they can't climb up with flies and crutches, is it interesting?" I probably prefer a top student to a handsome guy. ”

At that time, Han Yi didn't know if she was joking or real, so he didn't take it to heart, but at that time, he had already secretly liked Zhong Ying'er, and Han Yi was quite happy to hear her answer like this.

I can only feel "sorry" for the senior in my heart, I use the wrong person with enthusiasm, if he pursues a party girl with appearance, the other party would have been moved to cry and wipe his tears and throw himself into his arms, but unfortunately, in front of a person who is very good-looking, beauty is not a scarce resource at all, and his advantages can't impress her.

Later, Zhong Yinger's love object was Han Yi. Among the many suitors, Han Yi still moved her. At that time, he was also a half-top student, and his grades were quite good. Tall, not bad-looking, but he never picks himself up very often, comes and goes in a hurry and is silent, and if he doesn't have classes, he stays in the dormitory or goes to the library.

But Zhong Ying'er looked at him like looking up to a male god, but Zhong Ying'er at that time didn't have such a strong need for love, she loved freedom, even if she was in love with Han Yi, she liked to go around by herself, which made Han Yi feel like she was about to leave, and she was very entangled and painful in love.

Love, this thing is just unpredictable.

"When I'm good enough, I'll meet you" is one of the laws of emotion, but it's not the only one.

There is also a feeling called: No matter how good you are, I don't want it.

Love is the most incalculable input-output ratio in the world, and it is also the relationship that cannot be measured by the conditions "good" and "bad". And every two men and women who seem to be harmonious but can't get close,

They all have their own independent evaluation systems, and the person who seems to be right will always not get a high score in this secret system.

You think you are talented and beautiful, but I think your IQ is not on the same level as me at all; Do you think it's the right thing, I like men who don't rely on their own efforts to stand out; You think it's harmonious, but I can't stand it, you love rock and roll, I love classical music; You think you are a gentle and warm woman, sorry, it burned me, I only love women who are independent and self-reliant and can take care of themselves.

What you give, not what I want.

What you have, not what I need.

Your excellence does not match my needs.

Chiang Ching-kuo once fell in love with the famous opera singer Gu Zhengqiu, in order to pursue her, he was willing to be a super fan, not only to charter a special seat in the Yongle Theater, but also to set up a banquet at the end of each play in the name of hospitality theater, and even, he seriously moved the idea of divorce and marrying her, but Gu Zhengqiu was completely unmoved, she married Ren Xianqun, the director of Taiwan's finance department who was 17 years older than herself.

Soon after the marriage, Ren Xianqun was sentenced to seven years in prison on the grounds of "knowing that he was a bandit spy and did not tell the truth", and during his imprisonment, Jiang Jingguo sent someone to "kidnap" Gu Zhengqiu to the dinner table, she did not say a word, did not accept any gifts, and even, this woman with infinite scenery on the stage, sold her gorgeous clothes and jewelry, lived a secluded life in silence, and only went to visit her husband in prison rain or shine on every day of prison visits, except for delivering food to him, almost without leaving home.

Until Chiang Ching-kuo lost interest in bothering her, until her husband was released from prison.

Chiang Ching-kuo's wealth, status, and love were completely ineffective in front of Gu Zhengqiu; In the ruthless conclusion of the play, she is also an outlier. She didn't love the man who went up to the conditions so good and could give him almost everything, but chose the man she really loved in her heart, that person could live in seclusion with her and live a leisurely life, instead of taking care of all kinds of opportunities, and even taking a walk with her lover to have a meal was a luxury.

In love, what you need is the person who is just right, not each other's excellence.

Some people are, "I miss you, but I don't want to see you, and you don't have to make trouble to see me, I hope that we have enough independent time and space for each other." ”

A girl asks a friend to dinner, and during the dinner, when the friend processes the message on the mobile phone at a frequency of once a minute, the girl enjoys the food on the table alone, and the mobile phone has been resting on the corner of the table without looking at it. Thinking of the sentence that everyone often ridicules recently, "I have time to go out and play with my mobile phone together", my friend suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

"Don't you even look at cell phone messages?"

"Busy man, I don't have as many messages to deal with as you do. Even if there is news, it is not so urgent, and it doesn't matter if you look at it after eating. ”

"Aren't you in love now? Don't you and your boyfriend talk? ”

The reason for this question is because when she used to get together with this girl, she must have spent part of her time talking to her boyfriend on the phone or sending messages.

"Let's talk, but not all the time." The girl suddenly laughed, "Honey, don't worry, I'm not absent-minded about this relationship, on the contrary, I recognize it."

Really treat the current feelings. ”

The girl had a three-year relationship before, in the best college years.

She and his ex-boyfriend are dependent on each other and possessive of each other, and that's probably the most common thing they say between them:

"What are you busy with, why don't you answer my call?"

"I said I missed you, why didn't you come to me?"

"How dare you not reply to my messages?"

"Do you love me or not?"

······

In an immature relationship, there are always insecure words, and then emotions are used to bind each other's time and space.

"Only by your side, I have the whole world."

Pretentiousness is a common problem in love, and when it is terminally ill, it will be suspicious of each other's sincerity.

Finally, one day, they couldn't bear each other, misunderstandings, quarrels······ may also go through a period of falling in love and killing each other and being inseparable, but it is inevitable that the final parting of the ways.

The girl's current boyfriend is seven years older than her, and the girl calls him uncle.

She said, "My uncle and I have our own work to do every day, and we keep in touch every day, but we don't see each other every day. Uncle usually socializes a lot, but as long as he thinks of me and takes the initiative to contact me, I am there, and sometimes I will take the initiative to contact my uncle, and this very comfortable state between us makes me cherish every meeting with my uncle. ”

She also said, "Many times I am restraining the emotions I want to express in my heart, I don't care how many people have stood by my uncle's side in the past seven years, and I don't care if there is an old person hidden in my uncle's heart, I don't think about it, and I don't ask my uncle nonsense." Now I just want to try to make myself a little better and make myself more qualified to stand by my uncle's side. ”

When the girl said these words, her friend could feel her strong and not sticky love for this uncle. She didn't know what to say, but she suddenly remembered a line from Han Han's movie "The Future": If you like it, you are presumptuous, and love is restraint. The current girl may have met love.

Many people do not understand that "love is restraint".

Maybe Han Yi also has a deep understanding of this concept, just like between him and Bai Xue, when she said that she wanted to calm down with each other for a while, she really wouldn't take the initiative to contact Han Yi, and Han Yi would only restrain herself from disturbing. He had seen such a little story before:

One big winter, there was a man walking briskly in front of a hot pot restaurant, shaking his coat as he went, as if he wanted to shake all the heat out of his body. The clerk in the hot pot restaurant couldn't stand it anymore, and ran out to ask him what he was doing on a cold day, could it be a unique way to exercise his body?

The man was embarrassed to answer, he was a spicy person, but his wife couldn't eat spicy, he was allergic when he ate it, and he would get a rash even when he smelled it, so he had to occasionally go out with a few buddies to secretly fight tooth sacrifices, just now he wanted to dissipate the smell on his body, so as not to smell it when he went home.

The clerk was puzzled, "You can eat spicy food so much, but you find someone who can't eat spicy food for the rest of your life, aren't you going to die of pain?" ”

But the man replied, "Because I love her, don't say she's allergic to spicy, even if it."

Allergy to salt, allergy to water, allergy to air...... That's not a problem! As long as it's not allergic to me. ”

When he finished reading this story at that time, Han Yi was silent and thought for a long time. Sometimes they always think that love is to express the thoughts in their hearts, but the love that refrains from saying it is actually even more precious.

Many people are chasing the drama "Descendants of the Sun". In the play, the forbearance of the second male Xu Darong and the persistence of the second female Yin Mingzhu, the restrained love between them, really touched the hearts of too many people.

There is a scene in the play, after the earthquake, the two reunited in Uruk, and Yin Mingzhu ran to Xu Darong.

He said to her, "I'm glad you're okay, I'm very worried about you."

She said to him, "Don't get hurt, it's an order, you must protect yourself."

Then they exchanged military salutes and began their respective disaster relief missions.

Later, in a chat, Yin Mingzhu asked, "What if something happens to me?" ”

Xu Darong said, "Then I will regret those days that were used to escape you." ”

After saying that, the two hugged each other, and did not say a word of redundant and sensational confession. But it is such a hug, but you can feel that they love and protect each other unreservedly and clumsily.

When Bai Xue knew that Han Yi was worried about the planning of tomorrow's event or the content that needed to be discussed during the meeting, would she still ask for a long bowl of phone porridge with the other party? No.

Some people will be entangled, "What do you want to do so much, loving me is the most important thing!" "With me with you, let's talk about other interesting things! ”

But the other person will be very upset, you feel that his attitude is not very good, although you think you are trying to appease him, but you sense that he is perfunctory, so you start to resent.

"What the hell do you think of me? I care so much about you, but you're impatient! "You can tell me if you annoy me, don't you love me at all! ”

You think you're love, but it's a narrow love. If you love him, you will understand his mood and restrain your feelings at the moment, you only need to say four words to him: "rest early", it will be warm.

Everyone must learn to understand and empathize in love, learn to restrain a lot of inappropriate expressions, learn not to control each other and trust each other, and create the most comfortable way to get along.

The great Qing poet Zhu Yizun once wrote such words: Sleep together and listen to the autumn rain, and the little ones are cold. The words describe the woman who is in love with him but is confined to reality and can't express it, the two of them sleep in one place but are not around, the cold can't sleep, imagine that the other party hasn't slept yet, right? Then put deep love in the most secret place in your heart.

"I miss you, but I won't make a fuss about seeing you."

I don't need to be in touch with you all the time, but it's good that you're there when I think of you. We will never get bored with each other, because we all know that if we like it, we will be presumptuous, and love will be restrained.

(End of chapter)