After watching "The Secret Garden", I liked one of the episodes, "That Man", and listened to it in an infinite loop, practicing, and thinking that I was learning Korean. I have to say that the Korean drama itself is indeed a lot of attractive places, like the previous "Blue Life and Death Love", there are more tragic routes that car accidents and cancer cannot be cured, and now there are mostly rich and handsome male protagonists who love Cinderella heroines, green tea who love male protagonists who don't love her, warm male protagonists who love female protagonists who have a slight affection for him, love triangles or something A seemingly complex but simple relationship, because the ending is that the male protagonist and the female protagonist live happily together. I'm not a drama critic, I just have nothing to watch dramas, and I have the right to be a pastime, like the American drama "Vampire Diaries", the British drama "Sherlock", and the domestic drama "Love Apartment" are all my favorites.

Successfully completed two exams, so it was a reward, watch the drama, and talk casually.

Because you like it, I like it. Because I like you, that's who I am now.

“매일그림자처럼그대를

Every day, every day is like a shadow of you

따라다니며그남자는웃으며울고있어요

The man who followed you smiled and wept

얼마나얼마나더너를이렇게바라만보며혼자

How long will I have to watch you alone?

이바람같은사랑이거지같은사랑계속해야

This is love like the wind, this is like love of lies

니가나를사랑하겠니조금만가까이와조금만한발다가가면두발도망가는

Only when you get a little closer to you, you will take two steps back as long as you get one step closer

널사랑하는난지금도

I love you like this

옆에있어그남잔웁니다

Right now by your side

그남자는성격이소심합니다그래서

The man was very careful, so now

웃는법을배웠답니다

I'm learning how to laugh."

- "The Man"

Many times, I insisted on my choice, not because I wanted something, nor because I was tempted, but because I heard my inner voice after a few struggles. I believe that any choice will have corresponding consequences, just like if I don't go to the library today to review the materials for tomorrow's exam, then I may not know anything about the exam and fail the exam. Like if I hadn't eaten at night, I'd probably be hungry right now. It's like I'm in love with you, and I can't let go of you, so I suffer from lovesickness all the time. It must have been the result of these unknown, knowable, known results of the choices made by my inner voice, so I would gladly accept them, even if I didn't want to.

I didn't want to think of you or mention you deliberately, but this was my original intention, and I couldn't even control it, to suppress myself from not wanting to, I tried, but I will miss it more. Really, when you fall in love with someone, you are no longer the same person you were. Perhaps it is not worth mentioning to people in their thirties and forties, naïve to people in their fifties and sixties, and simple to those in their seventies and eighties. But I feel that every age has different experiences and feelings, and I think that's how I feel at this stage, even if it doesn't get the approval of most people, it shouldn't be denied. I'm the kind of person who likes someone after realizing it, and then my heart will be completely occupied by her, and I will be willing, and I can't let other people in. So you'd better stop wishing I found someone I like, I've found it! Do you want to "abandon" me, or is it really good for me? Don't say such things and act as if nothing happened, I ask you what you mean, and you say it doesn't mean anything. In fact, as long as you make it clear and say that it is impossible to break up, I can accept it, and it is my business to let go of it if I can do it or not. I hope you don't talk so inarticulately, deny my feelings, and give me the feeling of imminent separation. I can't get used to the sudden appearance of hope when I slowly let go, and the sudden appearance of no news when I am full of hope and disappear in an instant. I can only write these words here, because I am afraid that the results will be unacceptable after saying them, and I am too timid to have such courage.

When I was in junior high school, my diary focused on pure friendships and ignorant crushes. High school is immersed in the sea of questions, and the determination and self-encouragement to be admitted to the university of your choice are determined and self-motivated. Since I met you, in the past four years and in the days to come, I want to remember you. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad, it doesn't matter if it's beautiful or miserable, I just want to see the person I confessed to for the first time when I open my memories many years later, and I have a memory of love in college. No matter what other people think, I think it's love, it's love, at least in this world where I write.

Because you've been busy with your own business, in order not to make yourself seem so passive, I'm going to bother you when I'm okay, so I don't make you feel like I'm idle, so I have to say I'm also busy, so even when I'm idle enough to stare at the information, I have to say that I'm too busy to read the information. I just wanted to talk to you before I went to bed, and the thought of you makes me feel warm. For what you said, for what I said, the more I behaved, the more I cared, but you don't know.

너랑있음, 내맘이넘넘, 포근해져 (My heart warms when I'm with you).

Good night.

—Diary, January 9, 2013