Fernando Pessoa once said that the biggest difference between people is whether you really live for more than 10,000 days, or if you live only one day and repeat it more than 10,000 times.

When I was a child, I always felt that time passed very slowly, and I looked forward to growing up slowly every day.

When I grew up, I realized that time had passed like water again, and I hadn't come back to my senses, and this year had passed again.

Han Yi once asked Qiu Lang why when he chatted with him.

He said, "Didn't you find out?" When you were young, you were always accepting new things, and every day your discoveries were breaking your previous perceptions, so you felt the time. And now, most people are repeating the same life every day, numbly losing their ability to perceive time.

In fact, Han Yi didn't know whether these words were right or wrong, but he could always clearly feel that when he was doing something seriously, he could feel that he had really experienced time in the past few months.

But when he lived in fear, he looked back and found that nothing had been done, and time had passed.

I saw such a sentence on Weibo, and the blogger said: "The most disturbing irritability is that you don't know what you're bothered about, so you burst with negative energy for no reason." ”

Many people forward this sentence, as if many people don't know where their irritability comes from, but in fact, many people don't know, they just don't want to admit that they can't work hard to change the status quo of their lives, but they are still unwilling to live in the present.

You go to and from work every day and live a life that looks like everyone else.

I didn't take my work very seriously, just barely finished my work, numbly got on the subway and staggered home, obviously not doing anything, but collapsed on the bed with extreme exhaustion.

You envy other people's lives, and the reality that you turn your head is still messy rooms and a blank future.

At the end of the year, you find that your year is nothing more than 1 day of life, and then repeats 364 times.

Han Yi believes that many people have thought about change and worked hard, just like him.

But the reality is often that you make a list of books and decide to read ten books a month, but when you open the first book, you read two pages and fall asleep. You spend a day writing a flawless plan, planning the time of each day, but when it comes to executing it, you can't even do a single thing. You want to lose weight and do the most effective value-added, but many times you procrastinate and don't even try it for the first time. You have thought about making many, many changes, but you have not done it once, and in the end, you are back to your previous state, lying in bed, holding your mobile phone, watching a drama, scrolling through Weibo or watching it. Even, sometimes you are so bored that you don't know what to do with your phone, click on one software after another, and then exit one by one.

Resigned to fate? No one wants to.

But he felt that he really had to learn to push himself.

Slowly, we learned a lot of things.

For example, when you reach a fork in the road, you have to learn to part ways with some people; For example, he knows that there are a lot of them in the final address book

People slowly cut off contact with him. Therefore, he also has to learn to wave goodbye to his former self.

Cowardice or laziness, say goodbye to that procrastinating self. No matter how rugged or long it is, you can go far alone.

Wave your hand and come here, in the second half of the year, try to make up for the previous halfway, time won't wait any longer, he has to really learn to grow up, isn't it?

When you're in a bad mood, listen to sad songs less, look for food by yourself when you're hungry, turn on the lights when you're afraid of the dark, and make money to buy what you want.

Don't care too much about the things that can't be changed, try to learn to give up if you can't keep them, try to heal yourself when you are hurt, except for life and death, it's all trivial, don't embarrass yourself.

I once saw such a post on Zhihu: Tell me about the moment when you feel that you are loveless?

The answers below the post can be described as varied, some people say that when they take private lessons and are abused by the coach; Some people also say that when they broke up with their boyfriend who had been in love for five years; Some people also say that they have raised their children by themselves, and there are more moments when they have nothing to love.

One of the answers, which still stands out to him, is this:

Watching my dearest person struggle in the hospital bed but unable to do anything, he left with pain, and I lived with longing.

It was also during that time that I understood a truth: except for life and death, everything else is trivial. So I learned not to embarrass myself, and I also cherished the people around me more and more.

Someone shared his experience with the saying, "Except for life and death, everything else is a trivial matter."

The protagonist of the story said that he never thought that his parents would leave me, because he felt as if they were still very young and had a lot of time, and he didn't think about it, and he didn't dare to think about how he should face death.

Until one day his mother suddenly suffered a stroke and was hospitalized, the doctor told him that he might not be able to save him, listening to his father on the other end of the phone, crying bitterly, his heart was full of anxiety.

The father, who has always been strong, can't hide the pain in his heart in the face of the fact that his partner may say goodbye forever, and what he was afraid of happening still happened after all, but when it came, he was much calmer than he imagined.

To live well in the future, he felt as if he had been dead for a long, long time.

This is what his mother said to him after miraculously recovering.

It was also the first time he strongly felt what it meant to be "all small things except life and death", and since then, he has had a deep sense of awe for life.

I don't know why, when Han Yi saw this little story, he was also deeply moved.

He has always felt that he is a young man, and it is too early to say that life and death are too early, but as he grows older, because of the gifts of the years, Qiu Minsheng's illness, he gradually realizes that death is a subject that everyone must learn to face, whether it is yourself, or relatives and friends around you, it is not about fear, only sooner or later.

That's what growth has to face

problems.

In the face of the pain of the separation of your loved ones, you don't have to pretend to be strong, you can be sad, you can cry in public, and you can ignore the strange eyes of others to prove that you are not fearless of life and death, indifferent and ruthless.

Just remember that when you have experienced it, you have to learn to accept the growth that the years have brought you, and live your future life with a cherishment and respect.

I often hear lovelorn people say, "I can't live without you, and I don't want to die." ”

Han Yi has also heard the young people around her say the same thing, a girl said that she had just finished a 12-year love run, and the person who once said that no matter whether she could have children or not, she would live with her for the rest of her life, and suddenly broke her promise when she reached the age of marriage.

12 years of companionship finally got a sentence of "I'm sorry, I need to pass on the lineage, you have to be considerate of me".

This is undoubtedly a fatal blow to her. After the breakup, she quit her job and stayed at home, did not eat or drink, and even tried to commit suicide.

Later, she moved in with her best friend for three months, and her best friend listened to her, accompanied her to eat, go shopping, and travel, and slowly, her life returned to normal.

On the day she moved away, she told her best friend that in fact, there is no one who is worth giving up your life, because you are not you, you still have friends, you still have family, you still have yourself.

Human beings are creatures with seven emotions and six desires, and it is easy to become very sad in an instant because of some painless trivial things:

If you fall when you go out, you will complain endlessly, ruining the good mood of the day;

The boss gave you more tasks, and then you felt that you were being targeted, with less money and more things, and you were full of anger;

Even if the mobile phone only has 10% of the battery left, and if you find that you don't have a power bank, you will feel uneasy and blame yourself for not having a long memory.

But have you noticed that people are also very easy to be content, a sentence of "good morning, good night", a look, a movement, you can be happy all day.

Therefore, there is no need to dwell too much on the small troubles in front of us, after all, there are many things that can make us happy, and they may appear in the next second.

Life isn't perfect, but that doesn't mean it's not good.

The journey of life, know yourself warmly, do what is in front of you, cherish the people around you, walk the road under your feet, cry, cry, laugh, laugh.

As long as you are alive, you will wash your face carefully every day, read more and stay up late, cultivate both inside and outside, continue to be kind, and maintain love.

The years will make you grow to the point where you are no longer easy to be hypocritical in front of others, no longer talk around for comfort, but learn to digest yourself, move forward with a smile, keep all the good things in your heart, and scatter all the regrets with the wind, isn't it?

Osamu Dazai wrote in "Human Disqualification": "In the so-called human world, the only thing I am willing to regard as the truth is this sentence: everything will pass."

Growing up is not only about bringing about changes in age and mentality, but more often than not, it is also a process of constant reconciliation with oneself. Come to think of it, unhappiness is often the norm in our lives. The bottleneck period in school, the lack of progress in work, and the window period of single life will always appear in our lives without saying anything

, so that we have to learn to face.

Sometimes you want to talk to someone, so you look through the phone over and over again, but you don't know who to message or call, so you end up turning off the phone screen.

There is a saying that "growing up is the process of muting your cry".

Indeed, at the same time, it is also a process of shortening the sadness.

You want someone to talk to, but you don't know where to start. In the end, you still didn't say anything, because you know that even if you do, it won't change much, and all these emotions are left to yourself to bear and digest slowly.

Time is really good, it will make those who used to be painful become less painful, and let those that are difficult to let go gradually let go, maybe at some point you will still think about it inadvertently, but these are no longer important.

We've got to move forward, don't we?

(End of chapter)