Tiredness

[a]

I am Chinese New Year's Eve one year old, and Sindayi is thirty-two years old. I remember when we met, we were both in our first year of high school. I still remember that his birthday was Chinese New Year's Eve, but I can't remember how time passed.

It flew by, taking away most of the memories I didn't want to remember when I was younger, but not a single Sindayi.

I thought that the thing I longed for the most was freedom, but there was no kind of freedom that portrayed such a lonely tiredness, which made the tired also feel pain and hesitation. In this world, the greatest freedom is not to be trapped in a corner and let go of countless white doves in your head, but to be able to get out of the room and adapt to the crowding of the world.

I'm not Yanxi, I don't have the patience of Yanxi.

Yes, patience.

On the surface, he is unwilling to compromise with the world, but each of his paintings shows unparalleled care and ambition.

My classmates in high school attended the full moon banquet of Yan Xi and Ah Heng's children, and when they came back, they muttered to me: "I have never seen a husband and wife like them, one is always a mother to clean up the mess, and the other is a coquettish scoundrel and willful fool." How can they make it, and how can I still be single? It's not scientific. ”

I laughed and didn't speak.

For the classmates around us, most of them will only see the compromised Ah Heng and the high-profile and wanton Yanxi, they don't get along with our gang, yes, a group of people like us "once" get along deeply, and they will never understand what kind of language should be used to describe the patience and sadness in Wen Heng's eyes when he is angry; Yan looked at the window of Ah Heng's room, and what kind of expression was the tears rolling down when he was expressionless.

I don't remember much of what I was like, and I don't remember anyone who liked me very deeply, but I can tell my friends what I said, who I loved, who I hated. My dear friends, how much more can I do as a friend?

Falling in love with Sindayi was the worst thing I've ever done in my life. The mistake is not that I fell in love with a man named Sindayi, the mistake is that I fell in love with a man. And this man happens to bear the most simple and gentle expectations and responsibilities in this world.

In this world, red men and green women are like this. They advertise that true love is innocent, but true love is resisted, and the girl runs faster than anyone else. At the end, here comes a sentence: After all, we once really loved, and that's enough. I've said countless times to the wall of my house, "Sindayi, we used to love after all." ”

The empty room echoed, Sindayi, we loved...... Sindayi, we have loved...... Yes...... Sindayi ......

However, this ...... Not enough.

It was Chen Ti who said this.

Chen Ti held his fingers empty, and he had no life and no luck.

[two]

I sent all my money to Dayi and disappeared into the corners of the city.

In such a large place, it is obviously not difficult to hide a person. A thirty-year-old man has long learned to be restrained. When you walk into the crowded streets, you will not see thirty-year-old office workers with their heads bowed, but they will always pay attention to a group of children chattering and laughing brightly.

It's just because we were all so young.

And, I miss it deeply.

When Ah Heng and Yan Xi's second child was born, the classmates went together again. They asked me on MSN if I was going, and I shook my head a second time, but, I thought, I should have a child of my own.

When I went to the orphanage, the young children had already been adopted, and the rest were older, so-called "white-eyed wolves" who were not familiar with them.

I chose the naughtiest, the most talkative, the oldest. Because he was the most uneasy, because even if he was the oldest, he was only seven years old.

I wondered, what was I doing when I was seven years old? When I was seven years old, my parents divorced. No one loves him, and the yellow boy who is short and grows like this is always constantly bullied. The last time I changed schools, I dressed up as a girl, and for the first time, being weak and beautiful became a barrier to survival.

The child I adopted has a nice name, Jiang Mo.

He said warily: "My mother gave me a name, and I will never change it for the rest of my life." ”

"Well, that's good." I laughed.

He said he had a younger brother who was sent to another orphanage. He said that in the future, he could only recognize his brother by his name, so he must not change his name.

Jiang Mo's parents died in a car accident, and before they died, they lifted a pair of sons out of the window before dying in agony.

Jiang Mo can't forget it, and I won't allow him to forget it.

[three]

On the first day of Jiang Mo's elementary school, he held my hand and refused to lose it. He and the other children attended the entrance ceremony and looked back step by step.

All the children laughed and played, and Jiang Mo stood alone, hanging his head, refusing to get close to the other children.

I was a little sad when I saw it, waved my hand from afar, and shouted loudly: "Jiang Mo, Dad has always been here with you, don't be afraid!" ”

He looked back, looked at me, and then burst into tears. He nodded vigorously and hummed before turning his head and joining the first small group in his life.

For the first time, I experienced what it was like to be a father, and it warmed my heart.

When Jiang Mo eats every day, he even talks and acts, and tells me what happened in school, and a meal can be eaten for an hour. I love it, always smiling and listening to him, occasionally reprimanding him for being too naughty and doing something wrong.

Jiang Mo said that he had a particularly good friend who wanted to bring to his home to play with toys. I asked a friend to buy too many toys for Jiang Mo from home and abroad, he was very curious about everything, always played with himself obediently, and never had a playmate who could accompany him in front of me. I nodded, agreed to his request, and asked him to ask him what his best kid liked to eat.

Jiang Mo sat on my lap and hugged my neck coquettishly: "Dad, you are so good." ”

I laughed, picked him up, and threw him upward: "Good son, grow up quickly, dad is getting old!" ”

Jiang Mo was suddenly unhappy, pouted, and shed tears. He hugged my neck tightly and said, "Dad, don't get old, don't die, don't leave me alone." ”

Don't get old, and don't die.

This is the best wish in the world.

[four]

When Jiang Mo's child came to the house, I was busy cooking, but the moment I saw him, I was still a little stunned.

He bowed very politely and said, "Hello uncle, I'm Yanqi." ”

I touched the child's head and couldn't help but look at him with gentle eyes. When he raised his little face as bright and happy as a sunflower, I nodded, and without correcting the little misunderstanding, let them go to the playroom.

During the meal, Jiang Momei danced and gave Yan Qi a dish: "My father makes this delicious, you can taste it." ”

Yan Qi was very happy to eat everything until he ate the ribs and frowned.

Jiang Mo asked him, "What's wrong with you?" ”

Yan Qi bent his eyes wide and said with a smile: "My mother also often makes pork ribs. ”

As soon as he said this, I burst out laughing, I couldn't help laughing, this time I shouldn't be making pork ribs, I met the ancestor who made pork ribs.

Jiang Mo and Yan looked at each other, thinking that I was stimulated by something. I pinched Yan Qi's little face and couldn't help but smile, "You really look like your father." ”

"You know my dad?" Yan Qi's eyes lit up, and the little guy seemed to have some illusions and admiration for his scourge spirit father.

"Well, I know. I know your mom too. I laughed and said, "I was a high school classmate with your mom and dad." ”

"Ah, then you know my godfather too?" Yan Qi became more and more excited.

Godfather?

"My godfather's name is Xin Dayi, his surname is Xin, and my mother said that it is hard work." The little guy looked at me with a puzzled look on his face and explained.

Oh. Xin, that's what it means.

If hard brings bitterness, then Chen, Chen is the old, and it is the past.

I said, "I also know Xin Dayi, when he was a child, he gave himself an English name, called Eve, which means Chinese New Year's Eve." ”

Chinese New Year's Eve, remove the old and welcome the new.

[five]

Yan Xi opened an art exhibition, and I learned about it from his and Ah Heng's beloved son Yan Qi.

I put on a pair of sunglasses to cover my face, took my son's hand, and got there.

The colors of those paintings are bright and bright, and I have always been familiar with them. The people around him commented, appreciative, or disdainful, but no one denied the shock at first sight.

None of them could read the pain behind these old drawings, only I knew that they were painted by Ah Heng when he crossed the ocean and Yan Xi was imprisoned. No matter how gorgeous the colors are, how changeable they are, and how bright and brilliant the surface is, his heart is a little shrunken, a little closed, and a little sad.

This is Yan Xi's cover-up, when he lost everything, he did not lose his patience for love and his dignity that has never changed.

He once pointed at me and asked, "Chen Ti, are you deaf like me?" Do you hear that? For this kind of person, you have harmed Dayi, who has been with you for eight years! ”

Eight years, how long is eight years?

Eight years is two years less than ten years, eight years is different from ten years, ten years have fulfilled Wen Heng and Yan Xi, and eight years have not fulfilled Chen Ti and Xin Dayi.

How could I be willing to harm him?

I looked up at the painting, which was so large that it hung half of the top of the room, and it read: Heaven.

[six]

It didn't take long for Lu Liu to come out of the embattled.

He is a genius and no one doubts it, but his failures are also seen by everyone. I vaguely remember that from a long time ago, the Lu family not only did not share the sky with the Yan family, but also with the Sun family.

In this art exhibition, Lu Liu's figure appeared. I thought that he would never appear in front of Ah Heng and Yan Xi again, at least as cheeky as me, and only dared to appear secretly with sunglasses.

Lu Liu brought a group of his secretaries and subordinates to come with a high profile, and asked to buy Yan Xi's "Paradise" by name, just because Yan Xi had put him in "hell".

Ah Heng is still the same, but his hair has grown a little longer. One thing that I once deeply doubted and still can't understand is that the length of Ah Heng's hair in the three years of high school has always been at a height, not too short, and not an inch long.

I once grabbed her hair and asked why, and Dayi was even more surprised by the question. This child is such a person, even if he is not born beautiful, has no new clothes to wear, and no one loves him, he will always try to make himself look clean.

The biggest difference between her and Lu Liu, except for gender, lies in this. Ah Heng never asks why he can't get something, but Lu Liu will never ask for something he can't get.

This is the second time I've ever seen Yan Xi confront Lu Liu. For the first time, I was the only one present, and Wen Heng listened to a heart-scratching phone call. This time, I was still there, and Mrs. Yan was also there.

Yan Qi saw Jiang Mo, and the two children squatted together with a smile and played a game, and the tension between the adults did not affect them in the slightest.

I stood quite far away, watching the excitement, and I didn't intend to be a pond fish that was affected.

"Yanxi." It's hard for him to say a word, and he can still say it so gently and sincerely.

Yan Xi nodded, then shook his head: "I don't sell, you can go." ”

Ah Heng frowned and asked, "How much money do you pay?" ”

Lu Liu smiled faintly: "Three million." ”

Yan Xi: "Not for sale." ”

Heng: "Sell." ”

Yan Xi: "Are you crazy? Sell it to him, you say, go home and mess with me. Let me sleep on the sofa and eat spicy pork ribs, and I'll ...... I'll run away from home! ”

Ah Heng: "Get out, get out now, get out now, roll as far as you want!" I don't know what hypocrisy is all day long, isn't it just to sell paintings? ”

Yan Xi: "Wife, you don't understand my art. ”

I listened and laughed.

Lu Liuhua pulled a check, threw it to Ah Heng, and said casually: "Three and a half million, is it enough?" ”

That kind of attitude is really unpleasant to watch.

Ah Heng tore it up, looked at Lu Liu, stretched out his hand and smiled: "Re-sign." ”

I was smiling behind me, and Lu Liu was obviously taken aback. He also had a good temperament at this time, and patiently signed another one: "20 million, I bought all the paintings in this art exhibition." ”

According to Yanxi's current value, this price is very reasonable.

Yan Xi's expression changed from the distortion just now to expressionless. He was observing the land current, guessing his intentions.

From the performance of these two, I deeply discovered a truth, old lovers, no matter how old they are, don't provoke them.

Ah Heng was embarrassed: "Yan Xi scribbled and smeared, is it really worth so much money?" Although I don't know much and don't know how to do business, but if you really want to buy it, then get a 20% discount? ”

Yan Xi looked at Ah Heng, his expression seemed to be holding his urine for several days, but in the end, he said softly and helplessly: "Yes, make a 20% discount." These are all paintings I painted a few years ago, and the effort is not very sufficient, and it is not worth so much money. ”

Lu Liu nodded, tore another one, and drew another one.

He handed it to Ah Heng, but on the ring finger of his right hand was wearing the ring that Ah Heng had padded to the corner of the table in the old days.

Old lovers, no matter how old they are, are very eye-catching and distinct. Although, the land stream is old, and the old is more wishful thinking.

Yan Qi once said unintentionally that Xin Dayi already had a child.

I wondered, will Sindayi sneeze and keep sneezing because of my secret hatred? How will his wife one day speculate about his old lover because of this?

How deep the love is, how shallow the old is, that's it, refusing to let go and not forgetting each other.

Although Ah Heng's expression was always gentle, I could clearly see her face stiffen. After she took the check, she stopped talking.

Anyone who knows Ah Heng knows what kind of stingy and sensitive but gentle and silent girl she is.

If Lu Liu's appearance was to make Ah Heng uncomfortable, then, I think, he succeeded.

Yan Xi also seemed to see that he himself was loving Wen Heng with a patience that no one could imagine.

Lu Liu asked his secretary to dismantle the painting. The first thing to dismantle is "Paradise", which is so colorful, warm and desperate.

Lu Liu's face was expressionless, he squatted down, touched it lovingly for a long time, but took out a lighter.

Almost no one reacted, and the painting had been reduced to ashes in the firelight.

Outside the firelight, the face is calm and relaxed. He smiled slightly, still the little Bodhisattva I knew when I first met. He raised his head and asked Yan Xi gently: "I have been reduced to this day, desolate and desolate, what qualifications do you have to enter heaven?" ”

He asked him, "What qualifications do you have?"

Lu Liu continued to burn the second painting, and he asked Yanxi: "Everyone has friends, and I have them too." I have devoted half my life to my friend. What have I done for my friend? ”

He burned the third one, and said in an ordinary way: "Yanxi, how difficult it is to love someone, you know better than me." ”

He burned the fourth and fifth paintings, and finally choked in pain: "Yan Xi, so many paintings, I see you finish with one stroke." You love Wen Heng, you are distressed by her, you are sad for her, because she is inspired. And I, from before to now, only teach you pain and teach you sadness. However, you will never understand my grievances, because you have never really lost your Ah Heng. However, I have lost my word forever. ”

He burned the sixth, already grim-faced, and he said, "I burned all the paintings here so that you can remember that as long as I live for one day, because of my suffering, your paradise will always be a pile of ashes and nothingness." ”

Ah Heng was dumbfounded, she and Lu Liu's brain circuits were never on the same line. I guess she's thinking, this person took 16 million to buy paper to burn, how rich, how sick, how sick? Sure enough, Ah Heng threw herself into the fire, she was quick and took off her coat to extinguish the fire.

The sweater was burned with several holes.

Yan Xi pulled her up.

Then he dragged Lu Liu, his eyes were cold, he punched him hard, and said coldly: "Is crazy enough?" ”

I could clearly see that Lu Liu's lips were spilling blood.

It's the first time I've seen Yan Xi like this.

He tore up the check little by little, threw it into the sky, and said word by word to Lu Liu: "These paintings are all painted by me for Ah Heng, but except for "Heaven". The "Paradise" you burned is the paradise I painted for my former best friend Lu Liu. I never rarely go to heaven, because I know that even if I go to hell, I will be accompanied by Wen Heng with a dead eye. ”

He said, "You're wrong, every word is wrong. Because of you, I've lost my balance. But it's not terrible to lose her, because I'm sure she's the most blessed woman in the world. Even if no one in the world pities her, even if everyone betrays her, even if she can't have me, she still doesn't feel sorry, she still doesn't be miserable, she still is in heaven! Because she has received the most complete and sincere feelings that others in the world, including those who are excellent and vicious like you, cannot get, and this feeling comes from me. I've never been so convinced that I wouldn't betray this relationship because of you or any other woman. No one to take away, no one to despise, is my last admonition to you!

"If you want the jade to be burned, then, in the situation of death, the most feared person will definitely not be me, but you bastard!"

Yan Xi let go of Lu Liu, the corners of his mouth curled, but his eyes were full of coldness and disdain.

Lu Liu will not die, Lu Liu would rather die alone, but also sit on the supreme high position and accumulate "great achievements".

How dare he die?

He doesn't even love words.

Lu Liu's love is not that long, his persistence and hatred are much longer than love.

I understood every word of Yan Xi, and strangely enough, I understood everything.

Lu Liu looked at Yan Xi, his eyes were like the moment when the sand table collapsed, full of despair and realization.

A man appeared not far away. I couldn't see who it was, so I hurried forward.

The man punched Lu Liu. Lu Liu fell backwards and happened to hit me in a hurry and panicked.

He beat Lu Liu fatly, and I was also affected by Lu Liu's suppression.

"I'll fuck your ancestor, Lu Liu! You little brute, how do you have a face in front of Lao Tzu's eyes, how can you have a painting of a burning face? Isn't it better to let Yan Xi live? Cheng, Lao Tzu won't let you feel better, see you hit you once, you beast! Take the money and smash it, see if you can smash Lao Tzu to death, or Lao Tzu will smash you to death! Fuck it, kill my grandpa! ”

My eardrums hurt from this man. His fist was not light, and I was punched several times, and I held it for a long time before he roared with tears on his face: "Lu Liu, what did you do to him, how can you not find a trace of the fuck for six or seven years?" ”

"You fucking say something, is Chen Ti dead or alive?"

The men in the world, except for Xindayi, are not so lively and chic, especially animalistic.

I was almost crushed by the two of them, and I coughed violently. Jiang Mo and Yan Qi, the two children, seemed to have finally noticed the miserable me, and ran to pull me with a conscience.

"Daddy!"

"Uncle Jiang!"

Yan Xi and Ah Heng also hurriedly walked over and pulled Dayi up.

The kids pulled me up.

I breathed a sigh of relief, and before I could speak, Dayi was stunned. With a trembling hand, he took off my sunglasses.

"I'm not dead." I thought I was smiling naturally, brightly, wickedly, and stylishly, but my short-eyed son screamed, "Daddy, why are you crying?" ”

[seven]

I was relatively speechless with my old flame.

He pursed his lips, his swarthy face flushed with iron.

"I'm not here to find ballast, and I'm not in a league with Lu Liu. I just came to see Yan Xi's exhibition, and they got into a fight......" I explained stiffly, staring at his face.

"Fuck off, dead lady, who asked you to come back, didn't you elope with Lu Liu?" He couldn't help but slap the table and scold.

I was speechless.

How to explain it? I gave him all the money back, and I posted all my private money upside down, just to make him feel better.

I guess after that, the two of us will have to fight.

When he was a child, he loved to fight and solve problems, and his IQ was destined to be unable to solve problems normally and calmly.

Therefore, I am expressionless, I pick the corners of my eyes, and I am not afraid of boiling water.

I quietly rolled up my sleeves under the table in case he was powerless in the event of a sudden attack.

And sure enough...... Stretched out his hand.

I stiffened my neck back vigilantly, but Xin Dayi's hand froze, and when he saw Jiang Mo in the distance, he reluctantly smiled and said, "Your son is so good-looking, he looks like you." ”

I grass, what kind of eyes, I can see that our father and son look alike. Eating and sleeping together can be fucking consistent, huh?

He beckoned to a three- or four-year-old boy shoveling sand in the distance, neatly dressed, but stupidly looking, with uneaten marshmallows on his lips. He hurriedly pointed to the child and said, "My son." How's that, you look like me, right? ”

My son Jiang Mo was stunned, hugged the little doll and cried violently: "Shui'er, it's my brother!" ”

The stupid little doll also hugged my son Jiang Mo and cried violently, shouting heartbreakingly: "Brother." ”

I hooked the corners of my lips expressionlessly and despised Xin Dayi: "Jiang Mo was adopted by me from an orphanage. ”

Ah Heng and Yan Xi, who came together, laughed together: "Jiang Shui is too, and Da Yi adopted him at the beginning of the year." ”

I added stiffly, with a cold humor: "What, Xin Baboon, when you say that, it's true, you don't have to be born to me, right?" He doesn't just look like me, he looks like you. ”

Xin Baboon's face was flushed, and he swung his fist over.

The two of us really ...... Still, the fight started.

[eight]

I'm not with Sindayi.

I agreed with him that if twenty years later, when the children grow up, he still hasn't changed his mind to get married and have children, then we will grow old and stay together for the rest of our lives.

Jiang Mo and I still live together, and Dayi and Jiang Shui have always lived happily together.

The children grow up very quickly, occasionally I will send Jiang Mo to meet my younger brother, and occasionally Dayi will bring Xiaoshui to my house as a guest.

Jiang Mo and Jiang Shui are brothers.

Sindayi and I are also brothers.

Brothers forever.

Just like Ah Heng and Yan Xi, they have been married for ten years. I guess, Dayi and I are only brothers.