The Prosperous Age That Has Nothing to Do With Me (Land Stream Chapter)

It's a great time.

It has nothing to do with me.

Left hand, or right hand.

I quickly moved my hands and looked at the boy in front of me.

He smiled and glanced at it: "Lu Liu, how old are you, and you still play this." ”

"Guess."

His feet were on the glass table, red cloth shoes, and dirt. It's just raining outside.

He held the new game console, bowed his head to play, and said indifferently: "Left hand, left hand." ”

I quietly moved the Zippo from my left hand to my right hand, flipped over my palm, and told him - wrong.

He raised his eyes, narrowed, looked at the silver lighter in my right hand, looked down again, and said whatever.

Yan Xi likes to talk casually.

It's his habit, a habit that only comes to me.

Actually, this is very common, when you know that he often shouts "Hurry up" to the handsome Wen Siwan, and raises his eyebrows at the straightforward Xin Dayi and jokes - "Pig, lie to you." ”

Since I was a child, Yanxi and I went to school together, got out of school together, ate together, played games together, and played pranks together.

We are wonderful brothers.

Elementary school classmates, each with a copy, we sent it to each other, and everyone in the class received a bunch.

What Yan Xi wrote to me was very perfunctory. He often laughed, brother, this is written by someone who is not familiar with it, isn't it?

- Your first impression of him?

- Eight years old, banquet, snatched him three glasses of juice, four servings of pork ribs, five stacks of caviar and laughed, so deceiving.

- His character?

- stubbornness, hypocrisy, weakness, shamelessness.

I finished reading it, crumpled it up, and stuffed it into a desk drawer.

I scolded him: "Yanxi, you brute. ”

Yan Xi raised his eyebrows: "You son of a bitch." ”

We get along like this when no one is looking.

Obviously, when I was ten years old, I had already learned to scold the three characters of the country, but some people said that I looked like a little bodhisattva.

Just as the twelve-year-old Yan Xi finally looked at the blackboard for a while, after class, the girl at the table in front of him would still blush and ask with a heartbeat: "Yan Xi, you have been looking at me in class, don't you, do you like me?" ”

Yan Xi smiled gently: "I like your whole family. ”

was born to provoke Peach Blossom's life, but he was not saved.

I sympathized with him: "One day, you will die in the rotten peach blossom bush." ”

Yan Xi wanted to laugh or not: "If you dig a few fewer pits, I can live for ten more years." ”

Ten years, how long is ten years, is it enough to erase the woman in his life?

When he said this, I didn't know yet, and I couldn't predict that in the future, there would be a woman who would exist for ten years, and I would be unrecognizable with Yanxi.

Secretary Chen, on the other hand, is the person who has been with me the longest time except for Yan Xi.

I called him brother, clinging to him, gentle and kind, obedient everywhere, but, hopefully, when he reported to his grandfather, he downplayed the existence of Yanxi.

For example, we are inseparable, for example, we play games until we sleep on the carpet.

As long as it is slightly faded, as long as it does not hinder the eyes of the old man.

Chen is a warm person, although he was adopted by the Lu family, he seems to have a little human touch, he does hide it, but the means are not clever, and things are not as balanced as I thought.

The old man is a person who doesn't rub sand in his eyes, and he wants to drive Chen away.

I cried so hard that I thought I had a deep relationship with this person.

The old man kept looking at me to see if I was acting.

I had to distance myself from Yan Xi and get closer and closer to Chen.

I meditate, brother, brother, it's not easy for everyone to live, don't blame me.

Yanxi went to the park to feed the dirty kittens, then threw them at me and said, "Go ahead, Pikachu." I remember the laughter clearly, but I have long forgotten the way the kitten ignored him.

During that time, he was a little silent, I don't know what we look like in the eyes of others, but this kind of Yanxi is indeed not a normal Yanxi.

He didn't go to class, he only cared about painting, and the teacher told Yan Lao, and Yan Xi was locked up in the study on the first floor with a hungry stomach.

I sneaked to bring him food, and he scolded me: "You brute, why did you come? I'm starving to death. ”

I was also annoyed: "Yan Xi, you brute, it's good if I send you food, recruit you, damn, Lao Tzu is so cheap, I came to let you scold you." ”

He buried his head in eating, picking and choosing, and threw all the things he didn't like to eat out of the window.

At the age of eight, the same scene was true.

I touched his hair and sighed, "Brother, I'll dig one last pit, will I?" ”

The hair in my palm paused, and he smiled faintly: "Is this a discovery of conscience?" I also know how to make a notification. ”

I was ruthless, but my tone was very helpless, I said, "Yanxi, I have to go abroad and leave for a while." This is the only time to get rid of my grandpa and my mom. They both lose, and I can ......"

He interrupted me and said okay, whatever.

He smiled and bent his eyes: "In foreign countries, if you can restrain your nature, make a few more friends without pressure." ”

But I was sure: "Yanxi, you know what I have done, you will hate me." ”

Consistently, I love to bluff in front of him. When I was eight years old, I said with a straight face, Yanxi, what I wanted was never such a weak you; Who knows, Yan Xi sings and writes well, just pretending to cry, but in a blink of an eye, he grimaces - I know.

I don't know, who is weaker.

Putting down the chopsticks, he sat on the swivel chair in the study, and suddenly, his eyes were as cold as water, he stretched out his hand, grabbed my neck, exerted strength, and asked me with a smile: "Are you afraid?" Tell me, Lu Liu, are you afraid? ”

I couldn't breathe, but looked him in the eye and shook my head gently.

He said word for word: "Why?" Lu Liu, tell me your reasons. ”

I said, "There is only my brother in this world...... Yanxi, no...... Hurt me. ”

He let go of his hand, his fingers as white as jade, and placed them on the windowsill. With a proud face, he said flatly: "Remember your words." I hope that one day, this sentence will also become a reason for me to forgive you. ”

And I, after all, hurt him.

Looking at his incredulous eyes, in the crazy scorching flames, for the first time, it was clear that betrayal was never alone.

I don't have time to take care of myself, if I want to have someone I can be with for the rest of my life, he must be as hard as iron like me.

I often think, that fire, if Yan Xi died, if he died, would I regret it?

However, he can't survive, even if he is alive and so weak, he will be a stranger to me after all.

And instead of being a stranger, it is better to be a dead brother.

He said, Lu Liu, I won't hate you. I will stand in front of you, even if I outlive you by one day, and let you see me live.

I leaned in his ear and whispered: "Yanxi, four years, give me four years." ”

The old man, I finally believed that I had no mercy with Yan Xi, but instead left Chen as a bargaining chip to manipulate me.

I left the country, but I didn't expect that my mother would be so resolute and beat Yanxi into the dust.

I took great pains to hide it from the old man, but I didn't hide it from this woman.

Why?

I asked her.

But she said: "Son, take your eyes well, if you really don't care about a person like this." ”

I muttered to her, "Do you know what a brother is?" Brothers, brothers, not chips, not trades, not enemies. ”

She looked at me with sympathy and pity, a mother who prided herself on being gentle and kind. She was very generous and threw the negative of the photo in front of me: "Lu Liu, if, these, can keep him by your side forever, you, a good brother, are you still willing to destroy it?" ”

Land currents.

Lu Liu, ask your heart.

She said: "Yanxi misses you very much, misses you very much. I gave him a desperate situation, he can't go back, and you, if you can't defeat me and your grandfather and completely master the Lu clan, you will never be qualified to save him. ”

Her eyes, looking away, were deep love and despair, like a deep pool.

I stayed in Vienna.

I often had nightmares in the night, and someone crushed Yan Xi's spine inch by inch, but I stood aside and watched quietly.

I couldn't do anything about it, so I kept swallowing sleeping pills to help me sleep.

Forget and sleep.

I met Chen Ti, a very interesting person, according to Yanxi's instructions, there was no pressure, and I got along with him, and I was often amused by his funny and deliberate dress.

This is an American child, with an American openness, and his behavior is absurd and wanton.

His eyes are clean, like a dove.

He asked me, "Lu Liu, can Chinese men like men?" ”

I laughed and shook my head, "I don't know." ”

Knowing his desires and intentions, this fellowship, this friendship, became sad.

For the first time, without a purpose, making friends with others, it still can't die well. He confessed, I refused, and the man returned home in anger.

After taking sleeping pills, the dream is a good dream, in the dream, back to back with the person who can't see the appearance, he handed me a big red apple, which tastes so sweet.

We snuggle up to each other and absorb residual warmth.

's mother is even more rampant in the Lu family, using her relatives a lot, up and down, and bleeding like a river.

Grandpa handed me a few business plans and asked me how to deal with them.

He picked up the pace and nurtured me.

But I don't know that no matter how weak the wolf cub grows up, it will tear people.

In this world, black is not black, and white is not white.

It's ridiculous.

I often go to the only Chinese channel, staring at the weather forecast, the capital is cloudy and foggy, and the sky is good.

In 2000, there was no snow.

I learned from Siguan that the real Miss Wen came home, and she also took Sun Peng's phone, and when she mentioned Yan Xi, occasionally, inadvertently, she hung up the girl's name.

Yan Xi, Wen Heng, into pairs of four characters, as if they were originally made in heaven, not abrupt.

I hung up the phone, and the pain in my heart became more and more, but I didn't know where the pain came from and what kind of mental strength I had to make it hurt.

It's a pity.

Lu Liu, Yan Xi.

And it used to be.

The amount of sleeping pills increased, and when I fell into the dark and sweet country, when I was a child, I often looked at the vastness, but the people behind me disappeared.

A few years ago, I invited four people to Vienna to enjoy the snow, but I missed the temperature balance.

Finally, I saw my brother again.

He hugged me and chuckled, "I'm still alive, you see." ”

I hugged back, so comfortable, so harmonious.

I don't want to ask if he wants to forgive me, or if it has nothing to do with me.

Standing side by side with others, how to ask about the past.

He always has to marry a wife, always have children, always have a hundred years old, we were grandfathers at that time, sitting in front of the chessboard, laughing at each other, it's okay.

My mother asked me, "Do you know why everyone loves to call you Little Bodhisattva?" ”

I laughed: "They have glaucoma, myopia and astigmatism, how do I know?" ”

My mother also laughed: "You are often easy to be comfortable and peaceful, and if no one forces you, you will never take the next step." ”

She showed me photos of Yan Xi and Wen Heng together, each of which was very clear. Yan Xi was gentle and doting, opening up infinite warmth, and it seemed that he was waiting, this girl, crashing into it.

He drank from her spoon of soup, squeezed the toothpaste into her freshly cleaned window and pretended to be an old man, tugging at the corners of her clothes and laughing, his mouth open in the shape of a heart.

I put these pictures at the head of my bed, took too many sleeping pills, and couldn't sleep.

I finally knew why Yan Xi treated me without hatred.

He is extremely clever, afraid that each other will dig too many pits for each other in this life, and have too much hatred, so he left me first and found a way out.

He's extremely clever.

My mother smiled and asked me, he is so happy, and he leaves you alone, Lu Liu, what are you going to do?

Those photos were developed again, and the most intolerable thing in Yan Xi's life was that others trampled on his dignity and abandoned.

The first time I looked at those pictures, my fingers clenched into fists, and I still couldn't hold back the trembling, and my mom said, "It's not something you should touch like this." ”

She sent it in person and threw the receipt to Yan Xi.

Yan Xi was stunned for a long time, understood the receipt, for a long, long time, he knelt on the carpet, his eyes looked at me, it was so painful, he didn't call my name, but I could almost hear the sound of his heart cracking.

He muttered to Ah Heng.

Ah Heng.

Ah Heng.

Ahh

Over and over again.

Suddenly got up, crazy, in the snow, stumbling.

I knew where he was going, and he was afraid of being abandoned by Wen Heng.

Such a dirty thing, to such a gentle and clean girl, Yanxi, who was covered in bruises, thinking about recovering it, is too terrible.

Sindayi looked at me and my mom like a little beast.

He, Siguan and Si'er hurriedly returned to China.

Mother kept herself at ease and smiled, and I went back, and there was a play.

"Lu Liu, your things, you can only get them back by yourself."

She said so.

On the third day, my mother called and smiled: "The game has increased in difficulty, do you dare to continue?" ”

The so-called difficulty refers to Wen Heng's inseparability with Yan Xi.

I couldn't laugh, looking at the clear snow outside the window, and said lightly, why don't I continue?

Yan Xi had hysteria, and the trouble was vigorous, and the garden turned a patient upside down, interests, family affection, and trade-offs, their drama never ended.

I never doubted that Yan Xi would come out on his own, even though I heard that the doctor almost sentenced him to death.

Yan Xi is so arrogant, how can he tolerate being in such a stupid state all the time?

Balance?

Temperature balance is nothing but a catalyst.

Without Wen Heng, the ending will not change by half a point.

I've always believed in it.

For the past 18 years, I have always thought that I understood the meaning of suffering. Because I have experienced suffering and seen it myself. Even if you don't have to worry about food and clothing, even if you are a human being, these two words still can't get rid of.

For example, Yan Xi is the most painful of my many sufferings.

I wasn't around when he first went crazy; The second time, it was already numb.

I hated myself and asked myself, why did I become the way I was? However, I was always nervous and still desperate in my heart, thinking that Yan Xi would wake up and Yan Xi would forgive me.

This certainty stems from my belief that the right hand, severed in a moment of righteous indignation, will always forgive the left. This is the nature of human beings, although Yan Xi hates this nature, but in this life, I rely on his nature.

In my free time, what I have described thousands of times in my mind is not the change in Yanxi's appearance, but the rumored stranger who cannot be ignored - Wen Heng.

I regarded Wen Heng as Yan Xi's betrayal of me, but when she really disappeared from the compound, and watched Yan Xi in a daze and silence in the broadcast room countless times, I realized that perhaps, everything had been overturned too much and too profoundly in my absence.

I hated, mocked, and then threw Yan Xi a Chen Wan, a teenager who had an eight-point resemblance to the woman in the photo. When Yan Xi saw him at Cutting Diamond, he didn't blink from beginning to end.

I want him to be gentle and considerate, I want him to be able to make ribs, I want him to learn to be single-minded with Yanxi, and I want him to be the ultimate in Wen Heng.

However, he failed.

I still remember that day, when it was raining, Chen Wan walked into my office and was covered in rain. He grabbed me by the sleeve and looked at me sadly, and he said, "It's you who are defeated, Lu Liu." ”

Am I defeated? How could I lose? Stupid love is not the only criterion, and the only one who has this so-called is Wen Heng, not me. I'm not defeated, I'm not going to lose.

When I was in college, I once did a logical analysis problem.

Europeans admire China's "Mountains and Flowing Water", which is a gem of Chinese classical music. So, how does William, a European, feel about "Mountains and Flowing Water"?

The answer is love. Because it's not that I don't appreciate it, I have to love it.

"Mountains and Flowing Water" is to William, just as Yan Xi is to Lu Liu. It is precisely because there is no choice that the love is so strong.

And Lu Liuzhi is in words, but he can never love it. His love, his forbearance, and his unventing feelings are all aimed at Wen Heng.

If it is possible, if you want to kill a person to break a love, then Wen Heng must have died and resurrected thousands of times in Yan Xi's heart.

Wen Heng is like a drug, I can't quit, I can't discard, I can't ignore it, even if it's weak, even if it's hidden, even if it's an existence that has nowhere to survive, I can't cut off this existence, not to mention the self-control from a young age.

I once saw Yan Xi and Wen Heng wandering down the road, they were so close to each other, but they didn't hold each other's hands. After a long time, in the setting sun, Yan Xi lowered his head. The posture of his hand was strange, far away from Wen Heng, but it was always held so stiffly.

I lowered my head, too, but the moment I lowered my head, I stumbled a little and held on to the trunk of the tree beside me.

Yan Xi's stiff maintenance turned out to be just to hold the shadow of Wen Heng's hands. He refused to back down, suspicious and humble. This is not like me, but at such a moment, I was forced to be helpless, but I could only stop at a long distance from them.

I watched them go away and sat quietly under the tree. When the wind blew, I remembered the time when I was a young man and sat quietly with him counting the fallen leaves.

I thought we were still me and him, but he didn't want us. We, I'm the only one left.

I'm the only one of us, and I'm still reminiscing about the past as if I was being eaten by a poisonous snake, and I can't forget the memories that I won't forget.

At this moment, I realized that if friendship and family affection could not contain all my feelings for him, then all my feelings for him who turned to love would teach Lu Liu to be happy.

It is also at this moment that we have been far away, no matter how we have been with each other day and night, no matter how much we have looked forward to it, so that we will never be able to live forever.

I love Yanxi, very much.

When I was alone, I used to listen to a tune that no one was humming. The vinyl record had been worn for so long that it was no longer legible. I didn't know its name, but I kept listening.

Some people always boast about how they miss the old, the used ballpoint pen refuses to be discarded, the street they walk through refuses to replace, and the first love they love refuses to forget, which is the pride of fools such as Wen Heng. However, only when I constantly hypnotize myself to forget, I have to forget everything, I can be reborn if I forget everything, I can be justified when I forget everything, and I can lose my despicable self if I forget carefully.

Yan Xi agrees with me, and he is also forgetting. He's trying to forget me, and I'm trying to forget him. He forgets faster, I forget more slowly. I have no choice but to force him to break up with Wen Heng, see him every day, and see him forget, in order to comfort memorial, mine still can't forget.

When I heard that he had been in a car accident, I sat in my office all afternoon, and I didn't read a word in the papers I had in hand.

This fool, even his IQ is gradually converging with Wen Heng and the like.

I brought him back home, who wasn't dead. He started a hunger strike, he started running away, he started demonstrating to me.

I thought in my heart, you wait, Yanxi, you brute, you don't have to be so arrogant, you wait for the day when I forget you, you wait, wait for me to stop liking you!

I listened to the vinyl record and clenched the armrest of the swivel chair I was sitting on.

I firmly believe that such a day will come, until, I am tired of seeing this person I love deeply.

However, in the end, it did not wait.

Sun Peng made a break for me and him.

He personally cut off his "left arm" and "right arm" until, no one could ever hope to be forgiven by the other.

However, I deeply laughed at Sun Gongzi's naivety.

What's the use of that? Just as I still listen to my unknown vinyl records, this fool-like me still loves someone I can't completely forget. No matter what I wanted to forget, then or now, no matter how much I wanted to forget.

I can still hum that tune in its entirety, what about the unknown?