Floating Life

Thirty years ago, when Yan Xi was eight years old, he went to the army with Dayi and Siguan to experience life.

Children are used to being pampered at home, and they are always staggering when the flag is raised. At that time, Xin Lao had not yet retired, and the rank and loud voice on his shoulders put the children at risk. Every time Yan Xi was scolded, he always stared at him, and strode up and down in the dormitory with a sugarcane, "One, Two, Three" jumped in front of Dayi's small bed with a kick, and shouted loudly: "The big knife is coming to the devil, come on, come on, get up-"

Dayi loved to sleep on the bed when he was a child, and the nanny said that he had worms in his stomach and needed to take insecticide, so he took two large tablets with him before leaving, and the white tablets were always bitter, just like all reactionaries are paper tigers! As soon as the kid turned his heart down, he squeezed his eyes and took a bite, and he saw Yan Xi's big eyes, and couldn't help shrinking his head, and said stiffly: "My lord scolded you, it's not me, besides, it's really our mistake, my lord said that there has never been such a hero of the People's Liberation Army!" ”

Xin Lao's original words were: "You turtle lambs, 40 years after the founding of New China, the national flag was raised in reverse for the first time!" Yan Xi, Xin Dayi, Wen Siguan, out of the ranks! ”

At that time, there was a crowd of people around, all of them were soldiers, squinting at the sky, and sure enough, five stars were floating in the wind under the bright red cloth. At that time, Xin Dayi was so frightened by the old man that there were tears in his eyes, and there was still eye feces in his eyes.

As soon as Yan Xi thought about it, he grinded his teeth and creaked, and the public was scolded so much, where did he put his face on Yan Xiaoshao? You bully me, I can't bully you, I will bully your grandson, so I just gnawed on the sugarcane, and my dirty little hands were about to pinch Dayi.

The pill in Dayi's mouth melted, with a strong fruity fragrance, and the little face that was originally like a great enemy suddenly bloomed with small flowers, he stuffed the remaining half of the pill into Yan Xi's mouth and patted his little chest: "Scared me to death, it turned out to be sweet." ”

Yan Xi pouted: "PLA soldiers will not be bought by sugar-coated shells!" Hey...... It's so sweet......"

Dayi was happy: "Sweet, really sweet!" ”

Siguan was flipping through the picture version of "Zizhi Tongjian", his eyes were quick, and his little paw snatched another piece from Dayi's black little hand and stuffed it into his mouth.

Dayi picked up the leftover sugarcane in Yan Xi's hand, chased Siwan and fought, crying as he ran: "What can I do about this?" I've only eaten half of it, and I still have half a small worm corpse in my stomach, but what can I do? Wen Siguan, you traitor! Spit out my sugar! ”

Siwan puffed out his cheeks and chewed the candy, and finally swallowed it, but he didn't know whether it was bitter or sweet.

Twenty-five years ago, Yan Xi was thirteen years old, and he was very obsessed with "Strange Tales from Liaozhai" for a while, and watched the vernacular book three times, watched the seventy-eight episodes of the TV series three times, and his character exploded in the classroom, creating countless classic comic images of foxes and ghosts.

Lu Liu pointed to the green-clothed and long-haired little man and asked, "Is this a man or a woman?" ”

Yan Xi explained enthusiastically: "Male, male, male. ”

Lu Liu sighed: "I know." Is that what it means that the mother seduces the man, and the male seduces the woman? ”

Yan Xiyi is stern: "Of course not, the main skill of the male is to help the mother seduce the man." ”

Lu Liu raised his eyebrows: "Then he shouldn't be a fox, he should be a turtle." ”

The corners of Yan Xi's mouth twitched: "For Mao? ”

Lu Liu flipped through his "Bao Gong Case" for the third time: "The book says that such a man is called Gui Gong. ”

Yan Xi was filled with indignation: "Mao, this male fox is good, he saved a scholar, and then married his beautiful sister to the scholar." What a good fox, don't insult my fox! ”

Lu Liu looked at the sky: "Your father-in-law fox volunteered to learn Lei Feng." ”

Yan Xi flipped the table: "Your uncle's, Lu Liu's uncle!" Don't insult my idol's little fox! ”

Back then, Yan Xi's idol was Pu Songling.

It turns out that teenagers with faith and idols have to pay a terrible price. I wonder if the fox in the book also wants to marry the scholar's sister?

Twenty years ago, when Yan Xi was eighteen years old, there was no one in the paintings he painted, but there were people in the photos he took.

Wen Heng asked why, and Yan Xi said that he couldn't draw. He can't draw the things in everyone's eyes, naivety mostly hurts people, and selfish desires are hidden behind malice.

Wen Heng likes to do housework, she stands on a stool, tiptoeing to wipe the photos on high places over and over again. Those pictures are easy to be dazzled by the colors when you look at them for the first time, but the corners behind the colors are always dark. Ah Heng rubbed it, and he could only see those black and swarthy ones. She sadly asked him, "Who do you want to shoot the most?" ”

Yan Xi thought for a moment and smiled: "Joker." ”

During the holidays, Yan Xi, Ah Heng, and Dayi played poker and were punished if they lost. Yan Xi and Dayi were punished for drinking almost a bucket of water, but Ah Heng was unharmed, and his face could shine on the playing cards. This kid plays everything seriously. Who knew that in the end, he lost three times in a row, Yan Xi had just poured water, but Ah Heng's little face was removed from the playing cards, and his eyes said with a smile: "I play the clown." ”

She found a colorful hat, her face was covered with oil paint, and she had a yellow nose, red eyes, blue lips, and a white face, which was really funny to look at. As soon as the clown grinned, Dayi leaned back and smiled back, and she laughed embarrassedly, and took out the prepared plastic flower from behind her and changed it to Yanxi.

Yan Xi took out the camera, but did not press the shutter for a long time. He squatted on the ground, gently wiped off the oil with cleansing oil, looked at her with rare tenderness, and said with a smile: "Too many tragedies in this world are man-made, but I don't want to create a little more tragedy for you." ”

He wanted to see the clown because he was full of resentment, and he always wondered how malicious and strange the eyes were under such a laughing face. The same is true of tragedies, which are never revealed.

In those years, Lu Liu kept asking him why he had deviated from his same lonely self, and Yan Xi said: "You have never seen such a happy clown, because I am a happy clown." ”

Fifteen years ago, Yan Xi was twenty-three years old and had been a DJ Yan for a long time. It was a busy time, and many people who claimed to like him wrote to him, and when he couldn't get busy, he hired a personal assistant to handle the letters.

The girl was a little lacking in heart, holding a handful of letters, and shouted excitedly in the studio hall: "Hey, Yanxi, the surname of this pile of letters is Wen!" ”

Everyone on the radio knew he was waiting for a letter from someone surnamed Wen.

He began to read the letter like a playing card, and then he stacked it tightly, forever afraid to see the signature on the next letter.

He was afraid that those people were all surnamed Wen, but they were not called Heng.

Ten years ago, at the age of twenty-eight, her son finally learned to walk. He stood not far away, nervously clutching a piece of candy, waiting for the little baby to come to him.

The son's outstretched little hands that wanted his father to hug him and his toothless smile reminded him of his childhood self. When he learned to walk, he always looked like a little old man, with little hands on his back. There is no bosom called Father ahead.

The little child finally walked crookedly into his arms, and he peeled off the candy, filled it into his son's mouth, and asked him if it was delicious. The baby shook his head, but finally hugged Yanxi's face and kissed it. The smell of candy was imprinted on his cheeks, and Yan Xi smiled.

The little doll gently opened her mouth to call her father for the first time, Yan Xi held the little hands and smiled: "Bao, shout a few more times, and call back Dad's share." ”

He used to often feel that he could only vent his emotions by crying freely, but how many tears does a person have in a lifetime, and how many tears should a man have in a lifetime?

Five years ago, Yan Xi was thirty-three years old, and his wife gave birth to a child for the second time.

Siwan slapped his big hand and pressed ten yuan: "Nephew!" "He's been tired of being as spicy and annoying little girl as Winsel all his life.

Dayi hesitated and took out twenty yuan: "Godson? He couldn't think of what Yan Xisheng's girl should look like, sometimes just thinking about it, he felt that life was like a car accident scene, dying early and surpassing life.

Yun was twisting the Buddha beads and throwing fifty pieces: "Nephew! Sneering in her heart, Nima wants a girl, right? Lao Tzu cursed you to give birth to a son, just a son, yes, a nephew is like an uncle!

Ah Heng likes to eat spicy food during this time, Yan Xi viciously handed over a hundred yuan, squeaked his teeth and said, "Female, female, female!" If you ask me to nibble on ribs, I'm not allowed to nibble on your ribs! ”

The three of them brushed the ground in a cold sweat expressionlessly, and Yan Xi's mobile phone rang.

"Is it a girl?" On the other side was a clear and cold man's voice.

"It's not your wife, it's your business to give birth to a girl and a son. I said Gu Feibai, you have a brain twitch from time to time! Yan Xi raised his eyebrows.

"It's fine. I just want to say, if it is a girl, please don't send her to Jiangnan in the future, I am afraid that she will harm my son. The other party's voice is good, but it vaguely carries a deep meaning that I don't know whether it is bitter or sweet.

"I'll fuck you uncle!" Yan Xi dropped the phone.

After a while, the nurse came out with the child in her arms: "Congratulations! ”

Yan Xi shook his hands, opened the small quilt, and took a look, there was something the size of a grain of rice that was very proud.

The newborn child opened his big eyes in ignorance, and said that he was sad, pinching his son's jade white little ears and scolding: "Lao Tzu didn't plan to do the whole Chinese men's football team, what are you doing?" ”

The little doll didn't understand, and smiled at the only light source without skin and face, and her eyes were bent exactly like Ah Heng.

Yan Xi was stunned for three seconds, but hugged the child tightly, smiling and bursting into tears.

He thought he wanted a girl, but in fact, he just wanted a self that was exactly like his wife.

He hopes that God will give his children all the good qualities that belong to Ah Heng, but as long as they are a little bit like Ah Heng, even if they are stubborn, even timid, even cowardly, even clumsy, he feels indescribably happy.

The love between husband and wife seems so worldly and selfish, perhaps not much great and selfless love, but those loves that are sublimated to the point of nowhere often do not last for ten years, twenty years, Chinese New Year's Eve, and the white-haired old man seeps into the mud.

Who is rare.

This year, Yan Xi is thirty-eight years old, and he has a disease that takes half a minute to recite his name, and he doesn't know where to read it again when he takes a breath. They call it "serious illness".

He had a good wife who was a doctor, so the serious illness never became a serious illness.

At night in the hospital, his family did not allow him to accompany him, and he had to drag a hanging bottle when he peed, often half of the urine, and screamed heartbreakingly in the men's toilet: "Back blood, back blood, Dr. Wen!" ”

The female doctor who squeezed into the hospital from the research institute practiced a good skill, jumped over from the office in a hurry, and scolded while holding the hanging bottle: "It's not the New Year, what are you excited about!" ”

Looking at it again, the needle was clean and clean, without a trace of blood, she turned her head and frowned and asked him, "Where is the blood back?" ”

He hugged the Doctor Wen and whispered softly: "Yes, there really is, but I was scared by you and went back." ”

But there was a sentence in my heart, but I didn't say it: "Ah Heng, I miss you again." ”

When the blood was drawn, he screamed, and the louder he screamed, the flesh hurt, but the heart did not hurt.

When the children went to school and Ah Heng went to work, he sat in the garden of the hospital and painted. Draw the sun, draw the pond water, and draw the begonia, and continue to paint after the painting. Dr. Wen occasionally passed by the garden, and he smiled and said not to move, and Ah Heng stood there watching him paint himself.

He never looked up at his wife when he painted her. Such eyebrows, such eyes, such smiles, you will never forget them when you live. He had taken many hormone pills, and his mood was always suddenly high and low, and when he was irritable, he threw away the drawing paper, and said to her like an enemy: "Are you a nightmare? It's always engraved in my heart! ”

After saying that, he kept staring at her eyes, and look, like this, she still refused to cry.

He turned his head ruthlessly: "Let's divorce, Wen Heng, you go, go!" ”

She rested her head on his lap and smiled softly, "Okay, wait until you're well." ”

The hospital had issued three critical illness notices, and he weakly bit down on the grain of rice and asked her, "Are you really going to be a widow?" ”

That Ah Heng, his Ah Heng said very gently: "You can try to see if I will be a widow first, or you will be a widower first." If you don't want your three children to have no father and no mother, you can try, in this world, suicide is much faster than you die of illness? ”

Yan Xi's face twitched, and he actively cooperated with the treatment. finally got a girl three years ago, seeing that she hadn't been raised for nothing, and that she hadn't harmed Gu Feibai's son!

The thirty-eighth birthday was spent in the hospital, and after cutting the cake, the attending physician called Ah Heng away with a solemn face.

Yan Xi watched the children eat the cake, eating and eating, and the little son, who had been silent, cried and fell into his arms with a white beard: "Dad, Dad, are you dying, Dad, can you not die......"

The kindergarten teacher had just told them what life meant and what death was.

Yan Xi hugged him, this child looked most like Ah Heng. In the end, who would have thought that what he hurt the most was not the eldest son or the youngest daughter, but the silent and gentle second son.

"Yanjing, Dad won't die." He shouted his son's full name and told his son with a serious face, "I promise you, Daddy won't die." ”

The little girl, who had just turned three, looked at the two stupidly, but suddenly cried with her brother: "Dad is talking nonsense, Dad also promised last time that he went to pick up crabs with Benben, but Dad didn't go, Dad said nonsense!" ”

Yan Xi said curtly: "Isn't it like Dad can't escape......"

Yan Qi, the eldest son who has been in junior high school, has always been responsible for taking care of his younger siblings, and he was holding his younger sister well, but now his eyes were red and he pulled his younger brother out of his father's arms. The little guy blushed, pulled Yan Xi's clothes tightly, and never let go.

In the end, Yan Qi let go of his hand and choked up: "You said that you don't die, how can we believe you!" ”

This little boy already has the appearance of Yan Xi's old days, beautiful and loves to drill the horns.

He cried and pulled: "I can't dig you out when you're dead, I cry to death when you're dead, you don't know, if your mother remarries, if you die...... I tell you, my stepfather will beat us, scold us, and abuse us to death! You're done talking, your children have been bullied to death by others, and you dare to die......"

Loud and stupid, he cried louder.

Wen Heng watched outside the door for a long time, and at the end, the father and son hugged their heads and cried, the crying was really miserable, so he coughed lightly: "Although I'm sorry to disturb your father and son filming the series, I still want to say, Yanxi, you can be discharged from the hospital." ”

Yan Xi burst into tears for 3,000 feet: "Has it finally been declared dead?" ”

Ah Heng gritted his teeth: "Although it's a pity that I didn't have a chance to find a stepfather for your three little cubs to abuse and abuse them, I still have to say that Yan Xi is healed!" ”

There was silence in the room for three minutes.

Yan Xi hugged his youngest son and said kindly: "It is said that Dad doesn't deceive people, Dad never deceives people." ”

Turning around, he glared at his eldest son and scolded: "Mom, go home and kneel on the ribs!" ”

He smiled again and touched his little daughter's little head: "Stupid, Dad won't take you to pick the little crabs, let's go catch the big crabs, big, big, so big." ”

He peeked at his wife's face as he compared the paintings.

Ah Heng walked over and sneered: "Before taking your girl to catch crabs, I booksigned the divorce agreement first, I'm afraid that you will be killed by the big crab claws and have no chance!" Isn't it a longing for divorce? Fulfill you today! ”

The soft and fleshy little stupid looked at his mother sincerely: "What is divorce?" ”

Ah Heng picked up the little girl: "It's just that mom doesn't eat and sleep with dad anymore." ”

Stupid thought about it, looked at her mother blankly, and then sad tears appeared in her big eyes: "However, without my mother, my father would starve to death." ”

Yan Xi originally lowered her head, but when she heard her daughter's words, her eyes were red. He raised his head, looked at Ah Heng and smiled and sighed: "Ah Heng, what can I do, what can I do?" ”

Ah Heng hugged his daughter, and how many fears, grievances, and pains all disappeared. She used the back of her hand to block the dampness in her eyes, and choked up: "You can't die, it's not that you won't let you die, it's just that I don't want to die at all." ”

Yan Xi was stunned, but understood her words.

In the end, who would have thought that there would be a husband and wife in the world who, like them, would be separated from one and the other would not be able to live?

Who would have thought that when I was a teenager, it was already like this.

He finally has six memories in his life, remembering his childhood and knowing the original truth of the world; Remember the belief and know the open-mindedness of being a man; Remembering suffering, remembering a little kindness, remembering that others are not suffering as oneself; Remember a woman who understands true love only after suffering from gains and losses; Remember that although children know that although there are difficulties in being children, parents are not the kindest people in the world; Ji Chusheng understands the preciousness of blood, not only because of me, but also because of you.

The last blow, stumbling to recognize a little bit of husband and wife affection, the shadow of sadness and fear will follow me in some year, but when I was born, the baby cried and understood that this life is suffering, and no one is missing, but the most important thing is to know that there is the same equal woman who stands on the branch with him when the catastrophe is approaching, waiting for death or the beginning of another paragraph.